T*I*T*S

I am a well-spoken, educated, elderly woman. I'm quite small, unremarkable to look at, commonly held to be intellingent, capable of reasonable thought, given to introspection, mindful of my impact on the environment.

When I leave home in the mornings to ride to work I'm chilled out and happy. Like Burl Ives I got a blue bird on my shoulder.

So how is it that when that first B*ST*RD bus or taxi driver goes past me and pulls in right.on.f*ck*ing.top.of.me I turn into a m*therf*ckin' foul-mouthed screaming harpy with a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush?

T raffic I induced T ourettes S yndrome

Anyone else get it?

Oh, Beasties on R1 right now.

nah you're not elderly!

I wanted to kill an impatient BMW driver yesterday. Surprising how much pent up aggression people have. I recommend boxing.

I turn into a m*therf*ckin' foul-mouthed screaming harpy with a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush?

*Is in love*

Mines getting worse but never audible by anyone other than me… most of the time i don't say a thing, just think it.

I recommend boxing.

It's very fun, and I recommend it too, but I still hate stupid drivers.

All through the road ride this morning we were f-ing and geoff-ing at all the idiot drivers who tried to kill us. Some seemed to drive at as deliberately others were just inattentive fools. The last straw for me
was a taxi driver who decided to overtake me on a corner as the road narrowed. I am not proud of the fact that I loudly accused him of partaking of the sins of Onan.

Woman in BMW pulled out right in front of me yesterday near end of my commute; without decent brakes I would have been in her boot. Ruined my chilled ride home 👿

I had a guy in a car pull out from a side road infront of me smiling cheakily about 6 years ago. I lifted the front end of my bike up and smashed it into the side of his front wing.

I then rolled the bike back about 5 feet from the impact endo and was fully intending to have another go at impersonating a mountain goat when he got the message and reversed the car out of the way. He looked a bit shocked at the incident and sat there while I cycled past howling with laughter.

Also watched a bus driver almost hit a cyclist on the bridges Edinburgh. The cyclist went upto his open window in a fowl mood where the driver sat there with a smarmy smirk. The cyclist smashed him right in the face with a right cross and and flew off in the opposite direction from the bus.

Most car drivers are inconsiderate and take the piss but every now and then, it's payback time!

I think Karin, it's because we know that whenever we go for a ride, we're vulnerable. It doesn't matter how good a rider or how much aware of our surroundings we are, we're always going to come off worst in a car/bike collision. And so even when chilled, the knowledge that we're one d***heads mistake (and it 's usually a man) from a hospital bed, forces us to treat even the just careless drivers as the enemy. And I've been riding for far too many years and been in far too many ambulances to be persuaded otherwise. All I'd say though, is that the times we feel good far outweigh those times we scream impotently at yet one more ignorant t****r. Keep hold of the good times, the bad times usually fade quite quickly.

isn't it Harpie?

anyway, everyone gets wound up, some guy on a hybrid bike i was following today went straight through a red light whilst i stopped, took a lot of will power not to tell him what i thought about it when i caught up with him

A very quick look at the internet reveals Harpy singular Harpies plural, seems the ladies went round team handed.

I get very cross with cyclists who jump red lights too rOcKeTdOg, it marginalises cycling and pi55es motorists off (even more).

Two nuns pulled out infront of me really slowly today, no kidding. I pulled up alongside them and made the pointing to eyes look where you're going gesture, they totally ignored me.

It's because you feel vulnerable. I try to fight these feelings of aggression when on the bike if I feel indimidated by the dangerous activities of others. Gandhi was right. That said, I remember a 6'3" member of a road cycling club 20 years ago who was prone to "giving it back 200%" when threatened by others. I witnessed him cut up by an idiot in a mini, only for him to pull a screwdriver out of his pocket and at the next junction, slam it down on the roof (it went right through). Mini driver drove off at speed with the handle sticking out of the roof. On another occasion, he was severely cut up by a bus (and when shouted at, the driver had the poor judgement to flash a quick "V" with the fingers as he drove off). He didn't bargain on the cyclist pursuing him at speed and when he got to the next bus stop, he had caught up and waited patiently in the queue to confront the driver. Driver was ashen white taking the fares and when my fellow cyclist got to the front of the queue, dragged him out of his seat and I gather it got a bit physical thereafter. I don't condone any of this, but the cyclist was not particularly violent at other times. Only seemed to happen when on the bike.

what a woman 🙂 loving your rant , bank on the money aswell !

Disagree with the 'mainly men' statement, certainly around here when a car skims past your elbow, 80% of the time it will be a middle-aged / elderly woman. I put it down to the male drivers here having more empathy / experience of being on a bike on the road.

Your not elderly. i get it almost every time i spend about an hour on the road, i normally take a wing mirror.
I soon realized that i should ride as much off road as poss, keeps me happier too, saying that, i have been run over intentionally by a farmer off road, but thats another story.

hey Karinofnine ,

You just need to chill, work with the flow.

chris

x

One of few things I like about my current life in Ireland better than the one I led in London is the fact comparing to the Big Smoke the Big Village is so relaxed 🙂

I do sometimes. The best was when a car came up behind me on a hill and beeped their horn. I turned round and told them to F off, then realised it was my mum… Oops 🙂

When I leave home in the mornings to ride to work I'm chilled out and happy. Like Burl Ives I got a blue bird on my shoulder.

– cos your not – you just think you are – and are mebbe subconciously enforcing that feeling to mask the vast archives of stored negative bicycle / motor vehicle experiences that are suddenly unleashed when another file opens up in front of you on your daily commute

(and no, i don't have a clue as to how to remove the pasts files from me brain!!!)

PS: hi K

Disagree with the 'mainly men' statement, certainly around here when a car skims past your elbow, 80% of the time it will be a middle-aged / elderly woman. I put it down to the male drivers here having more empathy / experience of being on a bike on the road.

Totally agree, and was actually shocked when I realised this! I'd always assumed it'd be men that overtake badly.

My biggest issue is timid overtaking, often (not always) by a woman, 5mph faster than me and not quite over the line so 6" from the my handlebars then panicking when a car comes the other way and pulling in on top of me….

I have no problem with the boy racer who's over the other side of the road and past me in the blink of and eye!

forgetmename i want to here about the farmer that ran you over tell all

A range rover overtook me then turned left right in front of me without good brakes I'd have hit the passengers side wing. In full red mist mode I followed the range rover for about 1/2 a mile but then thought I don't know how many of them are in the car so red mist turned to yellow and I went to work, arrived late,pissed off,etc

andy7t2 here goes, karin sorry for thread hijack. Myself and 5 mates were out on a localish xc ride, never been there before, and we did not see bridleway turn off to our right, so we carried straight on down a nice fast track, i was 1st down and i looked back to watch mates come down and then past me, then i noticed a big 4×4 moving down this track, i pullled over onto the side of track, he pulled up beside(he had a v purple face) and said the famous words"get orf my land, i had a little smile then said im on a bridleway mate, he told me i wasnt, i said ok il catch my mates up and we'l get off your land, he said no you wont you'l turn around now, then he leaned into the back off his 4×4 and got his gun and put the barrel about 3 inches from my nose, i told him that was naughty and i rode off, i went across the front off 4×4 so that he could not point gun at me, so he ran me over, 1 wheel each side of me and a squashed bike, he then thought about his actions and reversed off of me.
Id be silly to say what happened after that, I needed new bike, he needed a few things too.

Good story! Hopefully you're implying he came off the worst there….

You'd hope a holiday with HMP!

I think i came off worse, but he got what he deserved, i also set out with all the joys of spring, but as quite often happens, some cyclist unfriendly comes along and ruins your ride,and my bike in this case.
If i had reported the incident it would of probably be me that got the holiday.

Karin did you used to use a nice little bike shop in hertford?

Hi M, how's things? I'll be back up 'north' May 14 to May 28 if you and Mark want to ride.

Leeson – do I know you?

Forgotmename – yes, Marshalls – have I met you?

Yes, i was the bloke behind the counter, Gary.
Hope you are well, and sos on thread hijack.