He’s on “annual leave” which makes no sense really, he’s on Holiday, or on “leave”. “Annual Leave” is how much you can take, not some horrid code name for Holiday.
“Monies” no, it’s money, however much of it, it is, it’s money.
“Client wants to speak to you” which is often code for “Client doesn’t know you from Adam, but wants to discuss something I will find unpleasant to talk about so I’ve name dropped you as our equivalent of Mr. Wolf from Pulp Fiction”
“Can I borrow you” – are you simple? I’m not a cup of sugar, just ask for my help or a chat.
“Are you busy” which might as well be “it’s a trap”.
“I can get it cheaper in PC World” – which you can’t, thanks mostly to the way Microsoft sell Windows devices, and the fact there’s a few hours labour to take it from “Hi” to a fully working and integrated computer on your network, not to mention, you didn’t actually know what you needed until you asked me and I spent hours of my time and experience to spec for you.
“Cloud” because “cloud” means internet and internet is free yeah? So I want 10TB of data and a load of programmes available globally through the thinnest of clients in the most secure way possible whilst still maintaining the performance if a 10 Gigabyte internal network, I want it tomorrow and obvs, it’s free init? What do you mean pay? My mate runs his multinational on DropBox!
“Ever since” as in “ever since your team installed our new phone system 3 months ago my printer, monitor, car, next doors cat, appreciation of the arts has stopped working, you must replace it immediately”.
