“70p for a first class stamp! That’s extortionate!!”

This is dispite the UK having the cheapest and most reliable postal service in Europe. OK it may be more than the 5p you paid in your youth but its really not that much for the service your getting……

Anyway, what are you tired of hearing at work?

Work? What’s that then?

Literally. It seems to feature in every sentence some of my colleagues say. Also obviously. If it were obvious you wouldn’t need to be having this conversation.

“You’ve missed a bit”

“Avoiding action, turn left IMMEDIATELY, traffic in your 12 o’clock, 2miles, is an opposite direction Boeing, same level”

“Is there any way you can get the price down?”

“What do you actually do here?”

“I normally don’t work on this floor”

pomona

Member
“Avoiding action, turn left IMMEDIATELY, traffic in your 12 o’clock, 2miles, is an opposite direction Boeing, same level”

Posted 5 minutes ago

How do you find out if there’s a pilot on the forum?
Don’t worry they’ll tell you…

😉

“It wont take you long. I am sure its a simple change”.

The voices in my head. (Usually “kill all the sinners and burn them with fire!” Or “eat cake”).

Stamp…what’s one of those?

‘Can’t you just give me a price over the phone now?’

No you can’t have a pay rise.

“Whats your best price?” the one I just gave you

“I’m no expert but…” no, you’re not.

“70p for a first class stamp! That’s extortionate!!”

If you can find it,Jack Dee does a great sketch about this type of person.

Some folk are just born to whine on about stuff.

“can you just have a quick look at this” machine is normally a broken crumpled mess when I go to look

Let’s set up a meeting to discuss it (rather than actually doing it)

“We need an answer to this urgently”

Normally to a problem the science/engineering industry has been trying to solve for the best part of 5 years and would probably require a change in the laws of physics to achieve in any case.

people complaining about stuff, doing nothing about it, then playing blame games when it all goes to shit.

‘I’ve seen on the internet that…’

“Shall we cut the roof off?”

What’s the CEOs email address?

“Oh, I just wanted some free advice. What do you mean, you charge? Why can’t you do it for free?”

Solicitor.

Let’s set up a meeting to discuss it (rather than actually doing it)

Or

Placeholder for ……

“just a quick question”

“I’m not a NIMBY … But this is just the wrong place for it”

“on the internet again??”

what are you tired of hearing at work?

People having loud conversations handsfree on their desk phone. Stop shouting and pick up the handset, it’s really not that difficult. My particular favourite is when they use this technique to call someone a few desks away.

“Help, I’m drowning”.

Me: you’ll need a waterproof.
Child: this hoody is waterproof.

Me: you’ll need waterproof trousers
Child: I’ve got these, my mum says they are fine.
Me: no, they are trackie bottoms.

Repeat those two conversations everyday at an outdoor centre in Wales.

dispite the UK having the cheapest and most reliable postal service in Europe

not sure on the reliable bit (UK is the Brown line that’s not Spain)

Have you got any offcuts of wood?

Firstly, by ‘wood’ they usually mean mdf, and by ‘offcut’ they mean an 8×4′ 😄

Colleagues:
‘has that custom synthesized product I asked you to order yesterday arrived yet? only I’ve started an experiment and I need it now’

Or from my boss

‘Prof X has this amazing technique that works really well we should do it tomorrow & get it working by Friday’

I literally never hear it.

(I live in Australia though. $12 for a pint of beer, yeah…. Enjoy that 70p stamp!).

Bloody Poms.

“Jesus loves you.”

Yeah, alcohol is expensive here too, but the frequent one I hear is always along the lines of “we’ve bought this service and I was wondering if you can help us implement it”. They get really upset when I ask to see the risk assessment they must have done before they signed a contract… Bloody Marketeers.

“Jesus loves you.”

If you will work in a church what do you expect?

“Can we have a quick conference call about [item clearly explained in short email they can’t be bothered to read]”

“Game of Thrones”