The office kettle has broken

And the cafe is closed. I still have 2 hours left till I leave, how will I make it through?

Send help.

raw coffee?

Fear not OP,the rapid response firstworldproblem team are on their way. 🙂

half remembered conversation from many years ago – some sort of debate with my boss about god knows but real money and best line he could up with was something like “I’ll explain that if you’ll explain why you expensed two kettles last month”

best walked away from

Microwave

EDIT: I mean, go home.

Making this might take 2hrs?

EVERYBODY OOOOOOOT !!!!

Tell the kettle to pull itself together.

Or change the fuse.

Do you not have a disaster recovery plan?

I worked in an office years ago and for two days a big fat fly was buzzing getting on everyone’s nerves. Then it was gone, only to be found later on day three floating inside the kettle. I don’t know how many boilings it had, but there were quite a few people that must have had some fly juice in their tea.

Just thought I’d share.

The switch has snapped off so its not like we could bodge it back together (not safely at least!)

Do you not have a disaster recovery plan?

I used to work for a place that had a folder full, that you followed in case of a disaster or incident.

I can top that: as a teenager, dropped in to see some elderly folk my Dad needed to see for some business. They served us a nice coffee from a flask they’d prepared earlier. Drinking mine, I found something tough. chewy, bitter and fibrous in my mouth and not wanting to cause offence I just swallowed it.

Got in the car and my Dad said: “I don’t want to worry you but I found a big fat bluebottle in my coffee!”

This is a risk assessment question

Scenario 1 Don’t fix the kettle

Hazard:

No tea

Likelyhood:

Certain

Severity:

No tea

Consequence:

No frickin’ TEA

Scenario 2 Fix the kettle

Hazard

Electrical short circuit

Severity

Yeah yeah yeah

Likleyhood

Whatever

Consequence

Fiery death of all employees and total loss of building

When you see it black an white like that it makes it’s own case, you need to bodge the kettle.

aw, diddums is the switch broked.

biro lid and some sellotape (assuming you are office based and bodging is limited)

I thik there is a EU directive about access to tea.

Did you survive, or is the office on lock-out today?

I believe he’s checked into Starbucks with a Grande Mocha latte as part of rehab.

Fortunately another kettle was sourced, however it has no handy external water gauge so the lazy bar stewards that are in the office naturally use that as an excuse to leave it permanently empty.

no backup kettle??? glad I don’t work there

The kettle is the hardest working thing in our building.

Your all useless, just use the hot water tap FFS !

The hot water tap? For making tea/coffee?

Get out of here with your heathen ways!

Hot tap?
There are some really sick, twisted and horrible people in this world….

Kettle broken. no need for bloody tea breaks then get back to work!

its a bit last year but,

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2014/sep/09/coffee-cold-brew-hot-new-thing

We had to do a massive load of business risk assessments and disaster recovery plans for my last job in the bank- big business critical function. Anyway, I got kind of fed up with endless statements of the obvious- “If the internet breaks we won’t have any internet and we won’t be able to do internet things. We should make sure we have spare internet”, I handed one in that was basically

Risk: Only one kettle. Single point of failure in critical beverage delivery function
Solution: Improved kettle functionality in main site. Addition of kettle functionality in DR site

A week later a new kettle arrived from head office with SOLUTION written on the side in marker pen 😆 Banks eh.

The only item at our workplace where capex is not restricted. Broken kettle, immediate trip to supermarket for new one. The boss likes his tea.

10 hours we went today with no break. I’m going to seek asylum tomorrow.