The International Variations Of Faff: What Do You Call It?

Last week’s Weekly Word newsletter was about ‘faff’. Here in the UK, we are very familiar with faff – but what is it called elsewhere in the world? Ta …

By stwhannah

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Scottish – fannying around.

Spelling it ‘pfaff’ somehow seems a better way.  The entirely redundant and silent ‘p’ is in keeping with the general nature of (p)faffing.

I met a guy from the South East of the US who called it the “Dance Party”

fannying around

Fannying aboot, surely…

There are rules for Faff and Faffing…

https://off.road.cc/content/feature/the-rules-of-faff-a-mountain-bikers-guide-839

Fanny about down here in the south east(ish), along with ponce around. But ponce can also mean scrounge, among other things 🙁

Scholtzing

Anyone who fannys too much on our group rides is referred to as The President Of Faffganistan.

I think it was @matt_outandabout that coined that phrase.

Not sure some of the military terms are socially acceptable, absolutely apt, but rather spicy.

The President Of Faffganistan.

That is genius.

I was riding at the Golfie a while ago, pulled up in my car next to a guy who was faffing with his bike. Had shock pump out, track pump, kit everywhere. I lifted my bike off the roof, put helmet on and cycled away. About 25 mins later I got a call from school to pick up my poorly daughter. Headed back to the car, same person still faffing around getting ready to ride.

Crazy stuff, time is precious, don’t faff.

The French don’t really have an equivalent word as far as I know. The verb “glander” is close but that’s more loafing about than pure faffage.
The closest in sound is “farfouiller” but that means to have a rummage, i.e. in a jumble sale.

The President Of Faffganistan.

One of my sons friends was presented with the t-shirt….

Titivating.

rumficken…. Hör auf da rumzuficken.

Anyone who fannys too much on our group rides is referred to as The President Of Faffganistan.

On ours, we zip tie the “Faffinch” to their helmet.

Titivating

Nah, that’s having a cosmetic tidy up. Definitely not faff.

In Finnish climbing terms the inevitable packing – unpacking – gear selection – packing – unpacking -cycle related to any climbing trips is called välppäys.

Swedish friends refer persons who are overly pedant about their gear as prylbög but that is not really same as faffing before start.

I asked about this in a Spanish bike hire place recently while I was repeatedly going to and from my bag in the locker. We found the closest equivalent phrase they had was “he does not have memory must have legs”, which made me chuckle.

I was riding at the Golfie a while ago, pulled up in my car next to a guy who was faffing with his bike. Had shock pump out, track pump, kit everywhere. I lifted my bike off the roof, put helmet on and cycled away. About 25 mins later I got a call from school to pick up my poorly daughter. Headed back to the car, same person still faffing around getting ready to ride.

Oh there’s at least one person like that in every MTB group. It’s some sort of unwritten rule. Except the one part they need they invariably have to borrow from someone else.

I was chatting to a colleague recently about faffing and for the others it is painful waiting around, especially in winter. He disagreed with me as there were no faffers in his group…

A week or 2 later I joined his group for a ride after work and it turns out he is his groups faffer. I mentioned it when we stopped and his group all agreed with me, he went silent while it dawned on him that it was true.

It just goes to show that every group has a faffer, if you don’t think your group has one then it is you!

Burach in Scots Gaelic

It just goes to show that every group has a faffer, if you don’t think your group has one then it is you!

Group rides.
Group stops for (eg) a puncture repair. Much chatting away amongst the folk not helping with the puncture, all nice and friendly. Puncture fixed, ready to go…?

Oh no, can I just…
– go to the loo
– get an energy bar
– check my gears/brakes/tyres
– adjust my….
– put my waterproof on

Seriously, WTF have you been doing for the last 10-15 minutes. Oh that’s right, chatting shit. 🙄

My OCD makes me a champion faffer.

“Stoap pissarsing aboot an’ git oan wi’ it” has been directed at me more than once.

A complete **** on.

In Spanish the closest is probably “marear la perdiz”, lit.: “make the partridge dizzy”.

 

 

One person starts faffing then others start joining in with their own faff…

This is a faffalanche….

The verb “glander” is close but that’s more loafing about than pure faffage.

same for “lollygagging” – not heard it much out of Canada – and even then I think only from one person. Good word, though!

There must be a connected term. I refuse to call it faffing about, but it leads to the same exasperation. I think it’s unique to leaving the house to go out, but may have other versions.

Some time earlier – “what time are we leaving”

agreement – “at half past”

at 28 past, family appears from various bedrooms and locations and conspicuously puts coats on and sit in front room.

Meanwhile – dog needs to be sent out for a wee before locking the back door, turning the TV off, making sure that the water bowl is full, etc. other possible activities before leaving. Chances of anyone else lifting a finger to do any of this? Zero. Just sitting there on phones and candy crush and whatever.

And then I get falsely accused of faffing (sometimes Michelle Faffer in our terminology)

Headed back to the car, same person still faffing around getting ready to ride.

Crazy stuff, time is precious, don’t faf

Maybe the geezer doesn’t have the space at home?

Have a good mate that always turns up with a job to do before he can ride. He got the train down from Berlin to Munich to join us for a long weekend riding in South Tirol… a trip we had planned a couple of months in advance.

Brake pads need changing…. Then bleeding.

Just can’t my head around it. He only works part time as he’s still a student (at 40!) so it’s not like he’s strapped for time.

‘Fart-arsing around’ was common where I grew up.

We have a massive faffer with our group, can’t wait to call him President on the next ride!!! 🤣

What’s the word Danny MacAskill was using in his recent video with Steve Pete? Sprachelling?

when it goes beyond faffing it tends to be termed “f@$king about”

same for “lollygagging” – not heard it much out of Canada – and even then I think only from one person. Good word, though!

I asked elsewhere and that was the second word an American friend came back with, after “dilly-dallying.”

I can’t remember where this first originated (probably too much time on our hands during a middle watch) but here is “The Faff Equation”

 

Total time spent faffing in minutes (t) equals the amount of rainfall that day in mm (r), plus the number of people present (n) multiplied by the average temperature on the day (y) divided by 2, plus the average experience of the riders present (e) divided by 2.

 

t=r+(n*y)/2 + e/2

 

Example:

 

10 people out on a dry 16 degree day with an average of 10 years experience each t=0+(10*16)/2 + 5= 85 minutes of faffing.