The Apprentice 2024

Here we go then , strap yourselves in as they present this years wallopers 😎

Let the celebration of bell-endery and absence of self-awareness commence

Not sure I can watch this year.

Cawdor Castle!
Nice place – shame about the bellends within it.

It’d be far better if they actually made it a real thing. Give them the phones. The internet. Make them work for Surralan’s £37 investment.

It’s just panto now.

It’s just panto now.

It always has been, but it’s great watching the idiots who think they’re Masters of the Universe, when they are actually Widow Twankey

So cringe.
I can really only watch the first bit where they’re given the task and the last bit where the recriminations and arguments commence.

The middle bit of actually doing it is just too embarrassing to cope with. People cannot be that stupid, surely?

Must be time again

Presumably the clients know who is providing their day out? Why would you?    Crumble mix for fish batter?

I think I’ll just read the ‘executive summaries’ on here.

Far too much cringe for me!

The microwave they mistook for an oven. Oh my.

Dear god! Even by usual standards, what a collection of utter ****-wits

Imagine the mentality that sees the word ‘corporate away day’… 3 of the most desperately depressing words in the English language and decided to make it alcohol free?

It’s just panto now.

It’s definitely a different programme to when it started. That Mitchell and Webb sketch sums it up nicely.

Kind of sums up where the programme has gone, when the guy who’s “business plan” was to run an events company , spectacularly fails an events company task and isn’t sacked. He was kept in, as he had more “entertainment value” rather than the nice , but ultimately boring guy who got fired.

To be fair, Boring guy, judging by the footage of him in the kitchen, looked like he’d struggle to find his own arse using both hands

To be fair, Boring guy, judging by the footage of him in the kitchen, looked like he’d struggle to find his own arse using both hands

Co founder of the Raisthorpe Distillery no less.
I see mummy and daddy have made him a director of their various companies. Tax efficiency? 😉

Interesting to see they offer corporate days out at their Manor. Let’s hope he’s not in charge of catering 😂

To be fair, Boring guy, judging by the footage of him in the kitchen, looked like he’d struggle to find his own arse using both hands

It was at that point that I asked my wife if this was the ‘special needs’ edition.

The other howler was the fekwhit who thought that a 52% refund on £2400 sales was £300 and burst into applause because he thought he’d won.

I know that the contestants are largely self selecting, but how the hell did we end up with so many young people who are utterly clueless, yet think that they’re something special?

The microwave they mistook for an oven. Oh my.

In the interest of balance, it might have been a combi microwave, so ‘technicaly’ also an oven.

Kind of.

I’m clutching at straws here though!

People really still watch it ?

Started watching for a laugh, but then I couldn’t bear it, so turned it off just after they’d started in the task. Just too painful 🤣

Let’s hope he’s not in charge of catering 😂

That will be Mr Stevens….

People really still watch it ?

No, stopped a couple of years ago, it’s nothing more than playground style pointing and laughing at feckless people.

Started watching for a laugh, but then I couldn’t bear it, so turned it off just after they’d started in the task. Just too painful 🤣

Must admit I watched it – it’s like riding past a steamed up car in a secluded car park – you know you shouldn’t look but you can’t help it! 🙂

The food bits are cringeworthy though and should be sacked off. What’s the point in them pitching to buy in food at £40/per head only for them to have to cook it themselves? Be lucky if the ingredients cost £100 in total.

The show is the biggest cringe of crimgedom – headed by an absolute tosspot. Massively outdated and as such boring format. As such, I won’t be watching.

The other howler was the fekwhit who thought that a 52% refund on £2400 sales was £300 and burst into applause because he thought he’d won.

I laughed at that bit. I know its not a shock but the whole thing is so contrived. What I don’t get is why everyone was paying £40 etc a head for the ingredients to make fish cakes and a tiny apple crumble? And if you’re too thick to read the recipe for a chocolate brownie then I can’t see many people willing to chuck you quarter of a million squid.

What I don’t get is why everyone was paying £40 etc a head for the ingredients to make fish cakes and a tiny apple crumble?

When they could just go to the pub and pay almost 50% less!

And how did the “clients” know that it was crumble and not breadcrumbs or that the food had been microwaved?

I assume the clients are all wannabe actors and they’re told everything beforehand.

I actually wanted to watch it last night for some reason but it’s total shite.

I couldnt have that on in the house i’m afraid. Do any of you that watch this actually work in an office? I do and it would just be like reliving the very worst aspects of a working day in my leisure time. No chance.

I assume the clients are all wannabe actors and they’re told everything beforehand.

Quite a few series ago there was some article on these corporate groups and it appeared they were actually genuine. Basically the show pitches to corporates – same way they rope in all those “industry experts and buyers” to sit there and listen to the cringe pitches from the candidates. Can’t remember if the show paid for it and the negotiation thing was all make believe it or what.

One of the issues it raised was those cases where they’re running around random town negotiating to buy various tat or persuade members of the public to come on whatever horrific task they’re **** up this time but the production crew have to go to each shop/person in advance, sign agreements about being on TV etc.

I work in an office, and no-one is that bad. We do have one or two dippy people, but not on this scale. It’s a guilty pleasure – love shouting at the telly on a Thursday evening.  I’m usually pottering about when it’s on !

Really enjoying the people who have come on to The Apprentice 2024 thread to tell us they are not going to watch it!

Seems we have a right bunch this series!

And how did the “clients” know that it was crumble and not breadcrumbs

Quite a fundamental difference.

It still humours me that the ‘Apprentices’ seem to believe they have to dress as estate agents to be taken seriously in business (I know that they are probably required to do this by the production team to fulfil a vision of a ‘business-person’).

At the end of the day it’s a TV show, and as with all ‘reality’ TV shows there is very little which is actually ‘reality’ (I know a fair few people that work in (what they call) ‘Flumpf’ TV).

The food bits are cringeworthy though and should be sacked off. What’s the point in them pitching to buy in food at £40/per head only for them to have to cook it themselves? Be lucky if the ingredients cost £100 in total.

He was quoting £60 a head for Toad in the Hole wasn’t he ?

It still humours me that the ‘Apprentices’ seem to believe they have to dress as estate agents to be taken seriously in business (I know that they are probably required to do this by the production team to fulfil a vision of a ‘business-person’).

A friend of a friend was on it, about 6/7 years ago. He’s never dressed smartly in his life apparently, but was told to get out and buy some suits and what-not. I’d also add that, if shopping in your average small town high street, it’s quite difficult not to dress like a 22 year old estate agent. 😀

He was quoting £60 a head for Toad in the Hole wasn’t he ?

That’s the point at which I’d have sent the sub-team out to the local supermarket to buy a load of ingredients (or even ready meals) and saved several hundred quid!

And for £60/head, I’d be expecting Michelin star toad in the hole fed to me by Gordon Ramsey himself.

I can’t believe enough people still watch this bellendery to make another series viable

Only watched this episode as it featured some of my favourite local places.

The abseiling bit took place on a crag overlooking Loch Duntelchaig where I’ve been canoe camping many a time with my son.

I’m going to try and banish the bell-endery on display in this episode from my mind so that future trips aren’t tarnished.

OMG….
Watched last nights episode as it was filmed in Jersey (Mrs is from there).
Are these guys genuinely thick or is it just edited that way?
Only one of them knew what a shucked oyster was, no one else could pronounce “shucked” and ended up asking for “chucked”, “sucked” and more oddly “sheckeled” oysters…..
Their powers of negotiation/bargaining were laughable….
Oh and one reported their group was on their way to “St Hee-lee-err”

I watched in disbelief at the contrived negotiations last night. As if any retailer would give *any* discount in real life.

It was the fact they had to get a measuring tape out to visualise 14mm, zero real life skills.

Flo and Will.I.Am will be in the final 2. 🙂