Anyone else use their foot to flush if handle position allows?

If out in a pub with your mates, and knowing they will then take the piss if they know you’ve been for a shit…

Do they not poo then?

Not in pubs, if they can help it!!

If the indicators are all red, it’s always worth a quick knock on the door

This pisses me off a lot.   Your quietly enjoying a moment, then someone rattles the **** off the door.   Its red for a reason!

 Your quietly enjoying a moment, then someone rattles the **** off the door.

Put you off your stroke?

I work 12 hour shifts, so the option of not using the facilities is not an option.

Last night both traps were occupied, the emperor suite (disabled) was also in use, so it was to be the ladies. The horses head was over the stable door so coming back later was, also, not a option.

We only have two ladies at our works, one is on maternity leave, the other was on rest days. Someone else had obviously had to use the ladies before me, because the back of the pan looked like a badgers face, or the starting grid at Santa Pod race way.

If all my traps are loaded I go up to the 11th floor, or the 12th, or the 13th (I’m on the 10th). It all adds up to my floor climbing stats on my Vivoactive: it’s a win-win 😁

I had a good chuckle at some of the wording on this thread, thanks for cheering up an otherwise dull afternoon.

I read once that in Victorian times at was considered bad form for a lady to take a seat recently vacated by a gentleman in case it should be indelicately warm. So the OP is right on bog seats.

I can’t be the only one here reading this on the work look can I?

If the indicators are all red, it’s always worth a quick…

…check that the indicator isn’t swapped round

Used to work in Italy, where it was a hole in the ground.  There was one cubicle with a normal bog.  The indicator in the lock got swapped so that it always showed red when vacant, so most people thought it was occupied.  Pretty much always guaranteed no need to “hover and hope”. Failing that there was the disabled bog that was like s(h)itting on a real throne, on the first floor (never did find lifts in that building 😉 )

Not using the facilities at work?  Really. Frankly I feel a little robbed taking a crap at home at the weekend.

Even the 16-year-old NMWer deserves to be paid a quid for a 15 min crapbreak, it’s what separates us from those ruthless greedy Yanks.

Personally, I like to get in first in the morning, in winter it can be bitter with the window open, if I have to suffer the ‘warm seat’ I try to look at the positives, it’s warm. Unless you have to go after Andrew the lazy CAD monkey who must assume his Mum comes in with the loo brush after he’s had his little dirty protest in the pan. I hate him.

Anyway, 1 toilet, not as in a small room with toilets in, but a singular toilet for use standing or seated between 13 men at worst, and a Ladies loo for the near-exclusive use of the 1 women who works here full-time. It’s usually warm.

I do enjoy a good works bogs debate 😀

If you need to go you need to go ..

I used to be a timid shitter ..frightened to fart or make a splash for fear of offence ..those days are long gone and I now make as much noise as possible in public / works loos ..

It’s only a crap for godsake..everyone does it !

In the last place I worked the bogs were in the middle of the office – man that was stressful!

As we’re on this subject what’s the opinion about the weirdo’s who go in the cubicles for a piss when there are urinals free?

I’ve always thought it’s a bit strange and they’re upto no good, they usually leave the seat down and piss all over it too!!

“Bashful bladder” sufferers probably. But at least put the seat up. With your foot if you don’t want to touch it.

This reminds me of my last office: it was a small open plan office, of about 10 people. At the same time every day a guy who’s desk was the furthest away from the toilet would proudly stand up, roll up his newspaper and stomp through the office to the toilet.

He would spend so long in there we started taking bets on times: we called it the Defecation derby. with a little prize going to the person who guessed the right time. I think the record was around 40 minutes.

Once done, the guy would proudly exit the washroom and show some interesting news story from the paper to the nearest person available.

I’ve noted a couple of guys who stand and pee, with the door open, in a cubicle, when there’s a full complement of urinals free.

They are both now on the ‘not to be trusted’ list….

It’s the fear of splashback on yer pants with a urinal ..perfectly understandable to pee down a toilet to avoid it ..

lol @ excessive time when on company time

in a previous job, one of the college day release apprentices guys walked back in to the office with a scar on his forehead

turned out he was still pissed (not yet hungover) from the night before, went for a dump (beer shits come in threes), fell asleep for half hour or so, went to stand up after wiping only to find his legs had gone numb, so stumbled and took out the lock with his forehead.

It’s the fear of splashback on yer pants with a urinal ..

Indeed. Also I’m of the age where I like a seat.

You’ve obviously never used North American WCs: they are splashback city, being fairly shallow and with a much higher water line.

Not to mention German traps with their JobbyLobby shelf.

I’m a bit puzzled too about this. The bog is just a funnel over a hole in the ground that you have shit on. So long as the seating arrangement is clean, then there shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t like it if someone leaves shit around the pan, but it isn’t a deal breaker, and my family seem to have a strong genetic propensity towards needing to go there and then.

Still, it’s a long time since I’ve seen the phrases “turtle’s head” and “touching cloth” written down, so made me chuckle. If I type “laying cable” does someone cry “House”?

Totally agree with urinal splashback as well. At my office we seem to have selected the piss bowl design that maximizes soggy thigh frontage. I reckon it would be better just pissing my crackers and cutting out the middle man.

Still, it’s a long time since I’ve seen the phrases “turtle’s head” and “touching cloth” written down, so made me chuckle. If I type “laying cable” does someone cry “House”?

Long way to go!

Dropping the kids off at the pool

Releasing a Mersey trout

Drowning a brown snake

Etc.

I haven’t had a dump at home during the week for about a year, since I started working at the place I’m at currently.

The toilets in our office are palatial, and are cleaned constantly all day, and they always smell of mango and ginger. Really quite a nice place to be. Warm seat or not.

These threads just aren’t the same without thegreatape.

A true connoisseur of the art of the workday China Cruise.

Sadly missed.

^Que? What happened to thegreatape??

So long as the seating arrangement is clean, then there shouldn’t be a problem.

Which is why squatty potties are preferable while travelling in dubious places. However, this view seems not to be widely shared – one of my colleaagues was unable or unwilling to use the work facilities in Beijing – even though they were spotless – and insisted on going back to the hotel for a crap. Weird.

“I can’t relax if I know there’s someone out there waiting, it makes me tense and thus unable to fully evacuate successfully.”

Me too! The bloody cleaner at ours, knocks on the doors-“anyone in” and waits until you’re done. It ruins it for me.

Our Gents toilets don’t even have urinals so you kinda just have to wait even for a #1 (just to make it more awkward there’s not really enough room between the cubicles and sinks to queue without having to get uncomfortably close to people :p ). As a fair proportion of people I work with don’t seem to be able to aim it’s always embarrassing to leave a cubicle that already had a small puddle on the floor only to find someone waiting to go in, presumably marking you out in their mind as one of the people with poor aim/manners.

If all my traps are loaded I go up to the 11th floor, or the 12th, or the 13th (I’m on the 10th).

And hang your arse out the window?

What happened to thegreatape??

Presumably a casualty of the great forum upgrade process.

And what about those people who stand at the urinal and undo their belt, button and zip so the whole frontage is out? Are these individuals endowed with draught excluder size organs?

Sometimes its nice to air the veg bag. Especially after the summer we’ve had.

Presumably a casualty of the great forum upgrade process.

Oh, nothing sinister then, that’s okay.

Not to mention German traps with their JobbyLobby shelf.

We had one of those in our place in Austria, wife made me swap it for a new toilet straight away. Nothing fancy mind you, bog standard really.

I’m working in Tokyo at the moment where you have to get used to a constantly warm seat.

Why’s that? Is there a shortage of toilets per person? 🙂