Our office loos comprise two cubicles and one urinal. I walked in earlier (for a wee) and both cubicles were occupied. What surprised me was, one of our younger employees was waiting outside trap 2. As I was busy at the urinal, there was a flush and trap 2’s door opened. The poor guy that had just dropped off his library books was confronted by the waiting one. He nervously said “alright mate” as the young lad went straight in.

Talk about taking the hot seat.

Surely toilet etiquette dictates that if both traps are occupied, you leave immediately and come back later or in this case, use the alternative toilets in the factory?

Yep, that’s what I would do. Never hang around in a toilet unless moving would cause you to shit yourself.

Unless you’re touching cloth, in which case all bets are off.

HTTP 413

Why would you go away and come back? Surely he observed the toilet etiquette by waiting outside the cubicle? Didn’t realise there was a ‘reasonable  gap’ time limit between visits? When you gotta go you gotta go…

So is climbing over the door and shoving the occupant off the thone shouting ‘shit or get off the pan!’ no longer the done thing?

Well at least he didn’t take a crap in the urinal!

Yep, unless I was nursing a curious turtle, I’d go away and come back later.

Or possibly go for a handicrap.

Well at least he didn’t take a crap in the urinal!

I saw that in a pub in Barnsley.

Pee paw…vehicle reversing…pee paw.

Threads like this make me so glad I WFH.

Threads like this make me so glad I WFH.

….where you put your slippers on and piss outside.

Substitute “Work’s bog” with “That plushly carpeted area just outside the First Class Shower Room” and you’ll get the idea.

So, if you elect to wait outside – at work or elsewhere – how long do you give it before trying the handle, or shouting “you all right in there?”. How long is reasonable to have a crap in a public bog?

If you elect to wait, it’s good form to hammer loudly on the door and howl in pain whilst demanding that the current  occupant  should vacate the trap at the earliest juncture.

It gives clear context to all involved and avoids embarrassment.

Touching cloth – ladies , disabled or sink .  Long term IBS sufferer .

I’m not sure as I understand this.  What’s the difference between using a trap immediately after someone else and using it two minutes later?  It’s not like it’s a secret what they’re doing in there.

How long is reasonable to have a crap in a public bog?

Depends where you are….. at work, then clearly as long as possible because time spent shitting is time spent away from the mind numbing tedium.

If you’re watching the fourth day of a test match…… well, a drinks break is 5 minutes so you hang on until one of them, leg it to beat any queues, and then attempt to be cleaned and polished and back into your seat with an overpriced beer in hand by the time they resume.

If out in a pub with your mates, and knowing they will then take the piss if they know you’ve been for a shit… you have to try to achieve the above in the time it would normally take for a wee. ‘Fortunately’ I have a 50 year old cyclist’s prostate so the days of zip/slash/zip/wash and back before anyone notices you’re gone are over; it can take a couple of minutes to go for a wee nowadays. However after a few pints of dark beer, you can’t afford to scrimp on the cleanup, so have to minimise the time actually spent pooing, which means powershitting so hard that you risk a prolapse.

😁 @perchy

Well at least he didn’t take a crap in the urinal!

Seen the aftermath of that in a bar in Derby. Where I was working. And had to clean it up *shudders*.

Yeah I’m in the come back later unless absolutely necessary camp.

If out in a pub with your mates

Yeah, I’m sorry, but I would risk intestinal rupture before using a pub toilet.

I just shit myself and get sent home for the day.

Win-win.

I’m not sure as I understand this. What’s the difference between using a trap immediately after someone else and using it two minutes later? It’s not like it’s a secret what they’re doing in there.

I’m sharing a room in a Hotel for a stag do at the weekend, with a bloke I don’t really know well enough to share a room with so I’m observing toilet etiquette with interest

I feel that one answer to Dracs comment is that no one really wants a warm seat because there’s some kind of psychological association with your arse being closer to thier arse when the seat’s warm.

edit:  Beaten by ossify ^^ 😀

What’s the difference between using a trap immediately after someone else and using it two minutes later?

Are you insane. Everyone knows that if you sit on the toilet seat just after its been vacated then it’ll still be warm. The mere thought of which would cause any right minded person to immediately throw up in disgust/ revulsion and cause them serious issues for months afterwards.

So, if you elect to wait outside – at work or elsewhere – how long do you give it before trying the handle, or shouting “you all right in there?”. How long is reasonable to have a crap in a public bog?

The only time I can think of it being reasonable to wait (barring touching cloth scenario) is on a plane, waiting to join the Pile High Club.

Limited bogs, etc. Unless you can see the door and dash for it, waiting outside seems acceptable.

It’s not just the warm seat. It’s also the poo-pouri.

Yeah, I’m sorry, but I would risk intestinal rupture before using a pub toilet.

Don’t ever spend a day on a building site.

The bloke hammering on the door is using an actual hammer and any malingering is likely to be  met with a rolled up page of the Daily Star being set alight and launched under the door to  gee you up a bit.

If out in a pub with your mates, and knowing they will then take the piss if they know you’ve been for a shit…

Do they not poo then?  I think the last time I was concerned about someone laughing at me for going to the toilet I was 12.

People are weird.

you can see the door and dash for it

Not the best idea on a plane TBH.

I can’t relax if I know there’s someone out there waiting, it makes me tense and thus unable to fully evacuate successfully.

However, I felt sorry for the chap who entered the cubicle after me in the first services on the M5 after Glastonbury a handful of years back. I had ensured copious amounts of immodium were used over the 5 days I was there to prevent any movements causing use of the trenches, the resulting back log decided to suddenly, and very urgently make a break for it as soon as I got on to the motorway. If I hadn’t have made the loo’s in time that could’ve caused a mass pile up on the M5.

Not the best idea on a plane TBH

Probably about the same as:

 a rolled up page of the Daily Star being set alight and launched under the door to  gee you up a bit

I never understand the need to have a shit at work? I think it’s a soon learnt fact that when in builder land you empty before leaving the house or fave the consequences of the site toilets….

I never understand the need to have a shit at work?

Not always a question of choice, I’m afraid, as you may one day discover!

Ah if I only I could have one shit a day at home

So, if you elect to wait outside – at work or elsewhere – how long do you give it before trying the handle, or shouting “you all right in there?”.

If I was spending a bit too much time on the bog by my Dad’s speedy standards, he would ask “do you need some scissors in there?”

I never understand the need to have a shit at work?

You are being paid to shit

Why would you shit on your own time??

I never understand the need to have a shit at work?

It’s not just the need, it’s the satisfaction of knowing you’re getting paid to do it.

nursing a curious turtle

Proper LOLs!!!!

Threads like this make me so glad I PAH.

I think only once, when I was ill, have I had to take a dump at work. Grim in the extreme.

If the indicators are all red, it’s always worth a quick knock on the door. I worked in one of those Regis shared offices for a while, which was critically under-bogged.

The problem was exacerbated by a few people ‘reserving’ a cubicle by locking it from outside so they didn’t have to hot seat after anyone else. How bloody selfish is that!

I quickly got in the habit of looking under all the cubicle doors, and taking a 5p to let myself in. Fortunately no dwarfs in the building!

it’s the satisfaction of knowing you’re getting paid to do it.

You’d have to pay me a lot more than my hourly rate to enjoy that feeling!

People are weird.

And getting weirder.