Stuff that makes you disproportionately cross

Leygo’s

American’s

No, no, NO! Never an apostrophe in a plural. (Just for blokeuptheroad)

Ikea

Ikea

Yeah but, no but….

Swedish meatballs!

Ikea

I read that and realised that there must be plenty of shops that make me disproportionately cross – mainly those places that sell brightly coloured tat aimed at teens. Neon Sheep, etc. And M&S obviously, because of the entitled clientele.

But these can all be trumped by the one and only M&M shop in London.

This thread can end here, because after having ten minutes of this place inflicted on you, any other minor irritations become trivial, indeed as nothing. I’m amazed that there aren’t daily Falling Down type rampages performed in there by middle aged men desperate to escape the sugar rush, primary coloured madness. Maybe there are but they don’t get reported. Anyway, you all need to deep dive into the M&M shop to calm yourselves down in the rest of your life. There are worse places and things than poor grammar and mugs with the handles pointing in the wrong direction. 😀

Just heard someone refer to Ordenance Survey.
Im in Aldershot FFS! The word is written on loads of signs.
Urine currently approaching 100°C.

People affecting that horrendous ghetto speak.

People from South London didn’t even speak like that naturally to start with.

Why the rest of inner city UK has had to ape it baffles me.

Feel me fam ? innit blud.

Botox injected into lips. It just looks plain stupid.

Feel me fam ? innit blud.

As brilliantly displayed

Botox injected into lips. It just looks plain stupid.

god help anyone injecting botox into their lips – botox acts as a muscle relaxant. Fillers innit.

I agree tho – not a fan of the trout-pout

A young colleague saying ‘sick one fam’ in response to work related messages I’ve posted on Slack.

edit: I see trailmonkey beat me to it!

Pop ups on websites that you can’t close, you have to wait for them to disappear. Mainly those ones saying along the lines of “50 people have looked at this product in the last hour”, it’s right in the way of the picture of the thing I might want to buy and I’m not going to buy it just because someone else has looked at it. We live in a country of millions of people, of course other people use the internet to look at things, stop telling me, I don’t care.

People doing baby talk to anything/anyone. Just talk properly.

I read once that babies talk like babies because they imitate their parents etc who have spent the last year going “goo goo ga ga” at them.

Whether talking properly would result in baby’s first words being “why yes Mater, I’d be quite partial to a cheese sandwich” instead of “Mama,” I couldn’t say.

People placing them carefully back in the draw or pot where they live.

Drawer. Jesus H Corbett, it’s a ****ing drawer. Why is this such a common blind spot? There is no such thing as a “draw,” that’s what you do with pencils or blood.

I think it’s already been mentioned on here, but people who feel the need to correct your spelling/grammar even though they understood perfectly well what you meant.

Disprortionally cross therefore totally on-topic. So shush.

See also people who put dead matches back in the match box.

People still use matches?

Marty!

And people who only partially remove the inner film on a butter/spread tub.

Right with you here brother. I want to butter toast, not practice keyhole surgery.

Vaping ….. not the act itself, I get the idea in terms of quitting actual smoking, but specifically the need to wander around like Thomas the blueberry flavoured Tank Engine.

I didn’t like your smoke when it was a cigarette and I still don’t like it now I can no longer see through the sickeningly flavoured cloud you just exhaled. Still baffles me people are allowed to drive in their cloud-filled cars.

Disprortionally cross therefore totally on-topic. So shush.

ITYM ‘disproportionately ‘? Jesus H Corbett at a spelling competition, why is this so hard? 😀

Contributors to this thread who can’t spell a word which THEY correctly spelled in the thread title! 😜

People still use matches?

Proper charcoal barbecues and wood burning stoves innit.  And my bee smoker (obvs).

People from Skipton.

Pacific instead of specific.

Expresso instead of Espresso.

Cream teas with the jam on before the cream.

GRRRRRRR.

ITYM ‘disproportionately ‘?

There’s a difference between a typo and an actual wrong word. Smegger.

But, yes.

being called a socialist is meant as an insult.

One panini and one ravioli. I know it’s a different language but people who should know better bloody well get it wrong too.

Artisan instead of artisanal.
Affect/effect. Yes they both have a dual usage, but only one in any given situation.

When I got my first Lego (in Germany well before it was known in the UK) it was pronounced Laygo (in Germany that is). I have continued to say it that way but I couldn’t really give a stuff how anyone else cares to say it.

Porsh for Porsche and Brawn for Braun do annoy me though.

People who have their wipers on too fast, or unnecessarily.
Dunno why but if I see someone driving along in light drizzle with their wipers going at high speed it drives me nuts. Or if it stopped raining 10 minutes ago but they’re still wiping away *squeak squeak squeak* aarrgh

Pavement parkers outside their own driveway
I used to walk (squeeze) past one every day on my way to work and would always kick the mirror off and stove his windows in with a bat passive-aggressively fold the mirror in. Did this almost every day, after several months he started parking on the driveway 😎
(Now I don’t walk that route any more and he parks on the pavement again…)

Wife attempted to show me a friends holiday video, taken on her phone from her hotel room in Santorini. It was a panning shot of the landscape, taken in portrait. Apparently stating “there’s not enough bullets for people like that” was an over-reaction. Just turn the effing phone through 90 degrees!!!

There is no such thing as a “draw,” that’s what you do with pencils or blood.

Well, how should one refer to the occasion with the big fishbowl full of plastic balls containing the names of football teams who will – in the near future – be playing one another in a knockout competition?

And furthermore, how should one describe the outcome of any of these contests where both teams score the same number of goals (or indeed fail to score any goals at all)?

Yours,

Confused of Wembley

Leaving the house. I really dislike being late, I’d rather arrive an hour early than 5 mins late. Yes thats a fault and I should deal with it better but it boils my piss.
We have missed the start of weddings because apparently its difficult to leave the house at a particular time. I have tried to have a calm conversation about it, where I explain I am not breaking the speed limit to get there, and how it stresses me out/upsets me to miss the start of a good friend’s wedding and yet, every time. She knows it upsets me, and still does it, so I’m beginning to believe she does it on purpose to piss me off.
Luckily mainly everyone we know is married now.

Trains that turn up half an hour late but you then arrive in London on time anyway. So you get stressed about arriving late and rescheduling meetings etc. etc. but in the end the train is on time and all of your efforts to re-plan your day are wasted and just annoying

I’m talking about you Grand Central trains!!

The family of 4 who turn up at the table next to you & spend the next 10 minutes scraping the plastic chairs around the floor while deciding who’s gonna sit where.
The chairs weigh about a kilo each, lift the bloody things up!

I discovered today that my wife goes ballistic if you eat a two-finger Kit Kat by not splitting it, and just eating both fingers at the same time.

Yeah, that’s pretty messed, Ross. You should get help with your snack dissemblage

people who don’t feel the need to attempt correct spelling/grammar because they’re content to let you do the extra work to try to understand what they meant.

PS. TJ have you finally found the function on your phone that capitalises the first letter of each sentence yet?

Oh, and shit Samsung phones.

People who think patience is a virtue.

One panini and one ravioli. I know it’s a different language but people who should know better bloody well get it wrong too.

Bollocks. It’s not a different language. Its a word that originated from a different language and has been incorporated into our language in one form and one form only.

People who use foreign pronunciations of words that have been incorporated into English.

Eg: “the dollar bhan have moved south into Kandahar”

Nnnnnngg

And Bayern Munich….. WTAF?

Wife attempted to show me a friends holiday video, taken on her phone from her hotel room in Santorini. It was a panning shot of the landscape, taken in portrait.

Oh yes. So much this.
My other half is always showing me various annoying tik-tok dog videos and the first thing that always enters my mind is, why is the world full of bumbling codspanners who film everything in portrait?.
The vast majority of clips you see on YouTube etc are the middle third of the screen with either black portions or a ghosted repeat image on the sides.

I’m not sure if it’s a disproportionate annoyance or not. It’s idiocy.

Probably the thing that makes me want to actually do harm to people is hearing them say ‘can I get’ in shops.
I recently heard one particularly polite weapons-grade muppet say ‘can I please also get….’

Still, takes all sorts.

Confused of Wembley

It wasn’t intended to be an exhaustive list. None of those things you mention are something you’d slide out in the kitchen.

Its a word that originated from a different language and has been incorporated into our language in one form and one form only.

On today’s menu: Panini’s.

(Good god, Chrome’s spellchecker doesn’t flag “paninis”. Dogs and cats, living together.)

How many year has people been moaning about ‘can I get’ on this forums? To many thats what!

I discovered today that my wife goes ballistic if you eat a two-finger Kit Kat by not splitting it, and just eating both fingers at the same time.

There’s some degree of anarchistic satisfaction doing this with a four finger kit kat to be had. I suggest you try it.

How many year has people been moaning about ‘can I get’ on this forums? To many thats what!

Oh my giddy aunt

How many year has people been moaning about ‘can I get’ on this forums? To many thats what!

I will not ever stop until the world has been rid of this terrible curse!

My other half is always showing me various annoying tik-tok dog videos and the first thing that always enters my mind is, why is the world full of bumbling codspanners who film everything in portrait?.

Or why dont idiot phone designers just rotate the sensor 90 degrees.

Being 30 minutes late for everything (as detailed above.

Goes like this…

We need to leave at 8.30..

Its now 9.00…

I didnt have long enough to get ready…

Then start getting ready 30 minutes earlier FFS

Hollibobs… OMG I could pin you to the wall with a nail gun you effin XXXX

Fast food establishments should be made to be liable in clearing their trash up across the nation or councils can charge them as a percentage of the trash

oh my god I agree with so many of you… so much ammo

I do think some of you need to sort your other halves out. My wife is ADHD/OCD so loves my tidyness. People come into our house and go ‘wow this is tidy’and the garden is amazing’, my 11 year olds are hen pecked by me. Poor sods. Their rooms are theirs so look like a bombs hit them. I pay them to tidy.

My nan always said I would make a great wife 🙂 We are going through the loft of kids stuff tonight and getting rid of the excess. Neat & Tidy, Tidy & Neat 🙂

You should see my garage/workshop..

PS I helped at my local bike clubs 600k Audax, last shift. Most of these people are just like me. Perfect bikes and gear. You cant do a 600k Audax not organised…