Stuff that makes you disproportionately cross

Hosepipes.  When they kink when you try to wind them back into the reel and you have to untwist the whole length to straighten them out. Fuming. Or when a loop of hose catches the tyre of your car when you are washing it and jams solid.  Same holding strength as a rock climbers lock.

Small thing, but infuriating.

Sunglasses. Sunglasses that give the bridge of my nose third degree burns. Because it’s been so long since I’ve needed them, I’ve forgotten they heat to 1000°C  in the sunglass holder in the car.

The utterly despicable human beings who indicate right when leaving a round about.

By the same token, those who indicate right when they’re actually going straight on. F***wits.

That said, lack of any indication at all, especiallt when going left or right, boils my wee even more

I really want to retire to France for a few years but every so often catch a program on TV (diy chateau for example) and every person seems to be a brit and all the people that appear are British and the customers and visitors are British. Puts me right off.

I was told there are ice creams on the freezer. I was looking forward to a nice post-meal cup of tea and a magnum (or similar). I opened the freezer to find Fruit Pastille ice lollies. Unacceptable.

funkmasterp

People who don’t realise that the pump can, wait for it, actually reach the other side of the car. You can use the pumps that are on the opposite side to where your access is!

No don’t tell them, It’s saved me having to wait for a pump as they can’t possibly work it out despite seeing many of us do it?

BO55 number plates.

Staying with the car theme:

People who don’t realise that the pump can, wait for it, actually reach the other side of the car. You can use the pumps that are on the opposite side to where your access is!

Really petty, people who don’t use pay at pump when they could. Then come back and **** about for five minutes before leaving.

The utterly despicable human beings who indicate right when leaving a round about. Left, you are always exiting to the left. You absolute bastards. I don’t even care if what they are doing is technically correct. It just annoys me for no reason.

Going to take issue with this one a bit.

1 – not always. Usually yes, and I filled up with great glee the other day when there was a queue of 4 cars waiting for the right hand pumps. I went to the empty left hand pumps, pulled the hose over the car and was out of there before the queue had hardly moved. Idiots. BUT my point is that this doesn’t work at every station, some have stupid short hoses and filling on the other side involves parking 1cm from the pump, finding the optimal hose route and then using the nozzle upside down. Grr.

2 – how do you know if they can pay at pump? For example, the card I usually use for filling up isn’t accepted at the pumps because the payment hold thingy doesn’t work with it, so I have to go to the cashier where it works like a normal card.

3 – Is it ever technically correct to indicate right when leaving a roundabout? That’s stupid. Oh, mini ones I guess. Ok.

those who indicate right when they’re actually going straight on. F***wits.

This. Especially at mini roundabouts. Confusing and indescribably annoying.

Really petty, people who don’t use pay at pump when they could. Then come back and **** about for five minutes before leaving.

Similarly, people who think that a petrol station is the ideal place to do a monthly shop, whilst their car’s still at the pump.

The utterly despicable human beings who indicate right when leaving a round about. Left, you are always exiting to the left. You absolute bastards. I don’t even care if what they are doing is technically correct. It just annoys me for no reason.

It’s not correct. Turning right at a roundabout, you indicate right as you approach / go around, then indicate left as you pass the exit before the one you want.

Hosepipes

I was halfway through pressure-washing the yard yesterday when the hosepipe spontaneously snapped itself in two. I currently have a half-grey half-green yard, I wish I’d left the bastarding thing a uniform colour.

every so often catch a program on TV (diy chateau for example) and every person seems to be a brit

They’re always pretentious hateful bastards too. “Margot and Terrance have £950,000 to spend on a holiday retreat,” then they’ll cut to a pair of middle-class ****, she’s pulling her face because the balcony is the wrong shade of terracotta and he’s making an offer and then haggling over the sake of fifteen quid. The only good part of these shows is you get to see all the entitled gammons who are leaving the country.

People who use ‘disinterested’ when what they mean is ‘uninterested’.

Glass chopping boards.

Wtaf!

Margot and Terrance have £950,000 to spend on a holiday retreat,” then they’ll cut to a pair of middle-class ****, she’s pulling her face because the balcony is the wrong shade of terracotta and he’s making an offer and then haggling over the sake of fifteen quid

Drivers who think they’re doing others a favour when they try to upend priority on the roads and how there’s so often a massive gap behind them that they’ve now instead filled with their stupid **** headlight morse code and simpering petty anarchy.

Glass chopping boards.

Yeah, that caused an argument.

I have a glass chopping board.  It’s not actually a chopping board, it’s a readily wipe-clean-able surface and as such it’s quite useful.  I can hear the distinctive ‘crack’ from low Earth orbit when my OH takes my good kitchen knife to it that I spent literally an afternoon honing an edge on just two days ago.

Drivers who think they’re doing others a favour when they try to upend priority on the roads

I’ve no issue with this IF they give you some notion that they’re doing it.  It’s great that you’ve slowed to a crawl to generously let me pull out or to walk across the road, but if you’re just going to randomly grind to a halt with no other discernible indication as to your intentions then it’d be far better for all parties concerned if you’d just ****ed off out of the way instead.

Tent and sleeping bag manufacturers and their complete inability to make something without zips that snag.

Sainsbury’s who deem it necessary to have the hot air wall blowers on. It’s 19c , brilliant sunshine with a very light breeze.
No wonder the polar ice caps are melting.

Cars that light up a campsite if you dare unlock/lock it to fetch something you need.

(can you tell I’m away camping at the moment)

I’ve no issue with this IF they give you some notion that they’re doing it.  It’s great that you’ve slowed to a crawl to generously let me pull out or to walk across the road, but if you’re just going to randomly grind to a halt with no other discernible indication as to your intentions then it’d be far better for all parties concerned if you’d just ****ed off out of the way instead.

I’ve found they get disproportionately cross when I decide I’m not going to accept their invitation and pretend to have not seen them – in the hope they’ll abandon the notion of letting me pull out on my bike – because I’m not ready, and/or I’d rather not pull out with all those cars behind you thank you. Actually this happened to me when I was driving too, they look so angry because I’d rather wait!

I don’t think there’s a day when I either drive or ride on the road that something doesn’t make me tut loudly and shake my head. I just wrote a long rant about shitty driving. But it’s not worth posting.

Men who mince about with small suitcases on wheels like some ghastly version of Paris Hilton, exacerbated by cobbled or roughly paved surfaces. Proper men should be compelled to carry either battered rucsacs or large rectangular suitcases with no wheels and reinforced corners.

I spent literally an afternoon honing an edge on just two days ago.

…you need to get out more

I did it outside.

Then I take it back… You shouldn’t be allowed out.

I lied.

I was rubbish at bbq’s until a friend gave me 3 tips:

1) use one of those chimney thingys to get the briquettes going .. idiot proof √

2) use Flamers to light the coals in the chimney thingy ..  idiot proof √

3) only use Weber bbq briquettes and keep them sealed in the bag they come in to keep the briquettes dry X

The self seal on the Weber bag is so finnicky it takes longer to reseal 🤐 than setting up the bbq, cooking and clearing up after.. .. great idea … rubbish design

Apple Watch, great smart watch shit sports watch, Garmin Great sports watch, shit smart watch. Be amazing if they worked together.

those who indicate right when they’re actually going straight on. F***wits.

This

Putting a small tear my new riding gloves after a small off on their first ride.

Send them back.

Hosepipes. When they kink when you try to wind them back into the reel and you have to untwist the whole length to straighten them out.

If you have a nozzle or spray head then you can wind up the hose while it is pressurised. That way it doesn’t kink. Release the pressure once it is wound up.

Gardening. Absolutely hate it.

People who insist in trying to engage you in conversation, just after you’ve put on your headphones and said I’m going to chill out and listen to some music for a bit!

Families who buy paddle boards / inflatable canoes but don’t bother with bouyancy aids.

The passenger in the horsebox who shouted at us to “get out the **** way” after we fractionally delayed her on her way to a local gymkhana this morning..

You’d expect more support for other vulnerable road users from a horse box towing horse rider.

Luckily, she was my neighbours 17 year old daughter so I popped round and asked her dad to point this out to her. That attitude is probably why she’s failed her driving test twice and he refuses to get in a car with her. I hope she fails again at the end of the month.

Teams chat.

800 folk logged on to a call today for a learning week presentation.

No presenter shows up.

800 people post in the chat how annoyed and disappointed they are.

HR post in the chat to apologise for whatever happened and advise it will be rescheduled.

800 people post to thank them.

FFS.

Neighbours having a party on Saturday hired a massive inflatable obstacle course, delivered at about 9am, party started about 4pm. Generator for inflatable obstacle course left running ALL DAY. Switch it off until 15 mins before the party starts you numbnuts.

Another car  one. People who don’t let other’s filter. Just stare ahead, nose of their car 2 inches away from the bumper of the car in front of them.  It’s a lane. On a road, not a **** birth-right, let me filter in you halfwit.

See also: self-appointed road police who straddle two lanes, ignoring the countless signs saying “MERGE IN TURN”.

Like people who drop litter, these imbeciles do not benefit the human race and in the wild would have been eaten by their parents.

Car insurance: max no claims capped at 9 years. Why do I pay for NCB protection each year for many of the years to be ignored? I have over 20 years NCB but apparently that’s not useful. As a risk based industry I would think it’s a key  ******* metric!