Stuff that makes you disproportionately cross

Iain Duncan Smith

The **** gov.co.uk website.

I’m glad I’m not the only one. Someone much smarter than me will I’m sure be along soon to explain what’s going on, but it seems like they’ve made a deliberate decision to employ a design language and structure that literally no other website uses. I guess it’s supposed to follow usability guidelines or something, but the end result (for me anyway) is that it is absolutely impossible to navigate.

The way anything posted on social media about cycling safety, new cycle lanes etc is immediately drawn into a spiral of cycle hating bingo….

Yeah. I got drawn into that big fat waste of time this week about some road improvement works in my hood.

Should learn to leave them to it.

gov.uk websites…

Yes, they following incredibly strong design standards. I’ve worked on some of them, they are designed to cater to absolutely anyone and as a result can feel a bit weird compared to other sites.

https://design-system.service.gov.uk/

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/government-design-principles

https://www.gov.uk/service-manual

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/style-guide

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/content-design

Through vs thru. For ****s sake, if you are writing marketing material to send out to customers and potential customers, why would you put what is essentially a spelling error in it?

Packs of antibac' / arse wipes that refuse to dispense one wipe at a time. I always end up with a handful of the bastard things.

Being constantly told how shite and useless EVs are by people who have never driven or owned one but have read about it on t’internet.

I reckon I now have fair idea of what it feels like to be a vegan.

People being allowed to drive their kids to and from the school gates and cause utter chaos.

Through vs thru. For **** sake

Isn't it an Americanism, like 'drive-thru'?  It feels like something Webster would have come up with.

In any case, the shortening of already short words pees me off.  "C U L8R!!"  Unlikely if you persist in writing like an imbecile. 40-character limits on text messages went out of the window twenty years ago, you now sound like the old boy next door who still hasn't grasped what a metre is.

MS Teams at work. Not content with telling me still, 4 months after updating to 'new', that it is in fact 'new', it now tells I need to update to this new version, which, when clicking said update command, does 5 fifth of fudge all...

People being allowed to drive their kids to and from the school gates and cause utter chaos.

Schools really need a park & ride system.  I'm the last person to be going "you can't do [something] any more" but attitudes have certainly shifted, there's a common perception that it's unsafe to let your offspring walk ten yards unaccompanied in case there's a former Radio 1 DJ hiding in the bushes or something.

When I used to walk to school the roads were quieter sure, but that's just self-fulfilling.  It's like everyone at work taking a spoon from the kitchen and sticking it in their desk drawer because there's never any spoons.  If you weren't collectively all selfish nob-ends this issue wouldn't exist.  The only reason you feel the need to drop your kid six inches from the school gate is that everyone else feels the need to their kid six inches from the school gate, it's an artificial problem of your own creation.  See also: fuel crises.

gov.uk websites…

Yes, they following incredibly strong design standards. I’ve worked on some of them, they are designed to cater to absolutely anyone

nobody, catering for nobody.

In gangster films where they torch a car.

Fill it full of petrol, light a Zippo and throw it in.

Just use a box of matches or light a bit of rag or something ffs!
What a waste of a Zippo

Re to Cougar, our house backs on to a primary school, it's two minutes walk to the gates, maybe three, none of the parents ever and I mean ever park in our street and walk the kids round, they all insist on getting as close to the school gates as humanly possible, it's total carnage.

We bought the house as it's close to the school we wanted our kids to go to and could walk them to.

I use thru because I cannot spell the full word - sometimes not even getting close enough for spellcheck to correct me

I use thru because I cannot spell the full word – sometimes not even getting close enough for spellcheck to correct me

Damn it Teej!

New Sonos app, I appreciate the tidy up but it's full of bugs and has some how made the speakers not Sync..there's a delay of about 0.5 secs between them which is really bloody annoying

I have to go to the skip at least twice today, I used to like going, the feeling of freedom as you ditch a load of stuff you don't need.

Since the introduction of parking bays it's a bloody nightmare, I'm fine with this, even when I'm carrying over filled bags/buckets of rubble across the yard, its a more economical use of space.

The general population however, FFS just park in the bay!!! If even one of you go old skool and roll up to the unit youre chucking Nanas old carpet in it causes effing gridlock you absolute inconsiderate lazy chumps.

'Normal' (questionable) people trying to shake your hand in the pro footballer fashion.

When a foot path and a bridleway are parallel and dog walkers choose to be on the bridleway and express disdain for passing cyclists.

Not seeing the mens downhill from Poland thanks to whom ever ****ed up the live feed, uci/discovery/eurosport

What do you fancy for dinner?

Oh I don’t mind.

Ok I’ll do (insert random meal).

Oh not that.

Fine, how about (next option).

Hmm, maybe something healthier?

Ok what do you suggest?

Oh I don’t mind.

Argggggh

Your cutlery is ordered wrong.

It's knives, forks and spoons. Left to right. It's how people say it, and it's how they should be laid out.

That would annoy me more than the one errant item

Your cutlery is ordered wrong.

I don't see any sporks?, my drawer contains 3 sporks of various designs, 1 fork, 3 knives and 2 teaspoons and assorted odd stuff in teaspoon drawer.

Yeah…..I live alone

It’s knives, forks and spoons. Left to right.

Where do your fish knives go?  And your cake forks?

Your cutlery is ordered wrong.

No it isn't.

But in any case, that's not my argument.  I really don't care.  If you want a different arrangement then pick one, just stick to it when you do.  Hoying a spoon into the fork compartment is the work of a sociopath regardless of which order they're in.

Your cutlery is ordered wrong.

It’s knives, forks and spoons. Left to right. It’s how people say it, and it’s how they should be laid out.

So that's knives on the left of the place setting, forks above and spoons on the right?

Edgy.

Where do your fish knives go? And your cake forks?

You appear to have forgotten your grapefruit spoons

Our cutlery drawer looks a lot worse than that. Chaos is the way forward!

Tesco delivery .... another 4 pint milk container leaked out again,  requiring several items to washed and dried again.

Be good if someone had a word with the Tesco buyers who spec the milk containers.

Our boiler.

Making a noise like it's about to explode. Not great, but we had it fixed under warranty by the manufacturer 2 months ago.

Ooooo no. They only cover the inside of the boiler. Annoying given the cost of the previous fix.

Get another plumber in £450 for a vale and a whole day of faffing. Seems very expensive. At least it won't explode.

Now it is just on. The only way to turn it off is with the power switch.

I hate the thing. One thing gets changed and it throws it's toys out the pram expensively and repeatedly

I hate it. I don't have the cash for a new boiler and getting all the crap piping fixed.

Time to start saving.

Making a noise like it’s about to explode.

...

Ooooo no. They only cover the inside of the boiler.

The outside of the boiler is making a noise?

Annoying given the cost of the previous fix.

Under warranty?

Campsites.

The price of them is now ridiculous obviously. £30 a night for a small tent in one near me.

But also, Bank Holidays and how you can only book for 3 nights in most of them.
I mean I understand why they do that of course, but it's a bit rubbish for the wandering bank holidayer who wants to move about or even have a cheeky night in the middle and avoid the chaos of the start and end.

While being very aware that I am not their target group,'some' adverts still manage to wind me up.

People who get on the first carriage of a train at a terminus with at least 10 minutes to go, and then proceed to walk down the entire length of the train, bumping into people, getting in the way, opening all the sliding doors and letting the aircon cooled air out, stopping me from folding my bike as they bump past with their luggage, until they find a seat they like near the front.

What's wrong with walking the length of the train on the platform and getting into the carriage you want??

On the cutlery subject, we've got a posh dishwasher with a slide out drawer. I, naturally, order the dirty cutlery into groups, so when the time comes to put it away you just scoop up all the knives in one go and bosh, it's done.

The Mrs on the other hand throws everything in willy nilly.

I have had words but just get laughed at.

I, naturally, order the dirty cutlery into groups, so when the time comes to put it away you just scoop up all the knives in one go and bosh, it’s done.

This! Not in a drawer but traditional basket - so much easier. As is putting all the unpacked things into groups on the surface above the cupboard where they live....then do one cupboard, efficiently with everything at a time. Family think I'm mad and refuse to work in this obviously superior way....they may have a point

"It’s knives, forks and spoons. Left to right. It’s how people say it, and it’s how they should be laid out.

That would annoy me more than the one errant item "

That spoon isn't an errant item, it's just the start of a migration toward the right and proper arrangement.

Bike sizing. As annoying as clothing and shoe sizing. Sizing charts always put me right on the edge of 2 sizes. Need to buy longer legs, or longer torso. Any for sale on the Classifieds?

I have had words but just get laughed at.

Get her to unload the cutlery until your point is made?

I've got a cycling related one...

Ever since this new cycling marketing fad that I won't mention, I've been noticing a lot of skinny tyre tracks on some of my trails, especially the ones that link two road routes.

No.

This is not acceptable.

You're making the wilderness look like a patch of mud in the town park the kids ride round with those narrow smooth tracks.

It's just wrong.

People driving diagonally across (nearly) empty car parks instead of going down the rows.

So disappointing just after the fatbikes.  I fear there will be a reckoning and I have already had to give out a physics lesson to a hater on my local patch.   Sticking with the fatty!

Got up this morning to make myself a proper coffee. "Someone" had washed and put all the aeropress bits back in the correct place except for the bit that holds the filter.

So I'm left searching for a bit to make my coffee, and I don't function well until I've had a coffee.  Chicken and egg.

Gave up and had a cup.of tea.

Apparently it was in the dishwasher. We never put the aeropress in the bloody dishwasher!

This! Not in a drawer but traditional basket – so much easier.

Same, only using the sink.

When my partner doing the washing-up, she'll put knives in the draining basket point-downwards.  Which I can kind of see the logic to from a safety point of view, but it's unhygienic and you're unlikely to have your eye out with a butter knife.  Meanwhile, she'll put the forks in tines-upwards and they're far shaper than the table knives.  Then when you come to put them away not only are they all bundled together haphazardly because of course they are, half of them have to be turned round.

As is putting all the unpacked things into groups on the surface above the cupboard where they live….then do one cupboard, efficiently with everything at a time.

And, same.

Otherwise it just creates needless work.  Like, she'll put an empty pizza box on top of the recycling bin which is under the worktop.  We'll deal with it later, or the bin's getting full, fine.  But then when I want to use or indeed empty the bin I've got to first move all the shit stacked on top of it out of the way and put it on the worktop above.  It's a extra step in the process which doesn't need to be there.

Me. For numerous reasons, however, the main current reason is that I’ve 6 days to submit a big assignment and I’ve done sweet FA and I’ve no clue where to start.

Terminal 1 has A gates. Terminal 2 has B gates. Which terminal has the C gates? That's correct Terminal 4. Terminal 3 is E and F. Why? Because baby Jesus hates logic.

People driving diagonally across (nearly) empty car parks instead of going down the rows.

Oh hell yes! This drives me up the wall.

This drives me up the wall.

People who drive up walls not on roads