The cure sounds unpleasant.

Surely his wife wasn’t that bad?

I think you’ll be able to beat this single handedly

There is a cure, it involves a scalpel.

that will do the trick

Try not to be deflated. You’ll soon be on the up. Or vice versa.

As James May would say, “Oh cock”.
Hope you get it sorted. Be OK if you were on a romantic weekend. for a while… ooch.

Think of Boris sleeping with women (or anyone) – that will sort it without any ‘intervention’.

🤥

Aah… my sympathies @poopscoop

I had a biking injury (groin met stem when pedal met tree stump) several years ago; Ninewells in Dundee use a citrus fruit scale to refer to the swelling of testicles – I was a grapefruit. In size but not colour; they were a dark purple, almost black. Off work for two weeks.

Take up yachting, you’ll stay in bed in the heaviest seas

Full mast?

Competition for thread of the week is now closed, nothing is going to stand up to this.

At least the OP will have a head-start in the ‘who can piss furthest up the bog wall’ championship!

I do offer my sympathies, while never having suffered said complaint.

Won’t count if the water genie from round the twist is helping his competitor.

Anyway op good on you for standing up straight, maybe with a slight bend, and being open and honest about your hard travails

Buy some hoops to pass the time?

This is a former colleagues cousin, it’s been reported globally, pretty much.

17 hours

That’s a weird report. They drained two pints of blood from his penis? Did they think it was a closed system?

At least you won’t roll out of bed

Typical internet hardman.

A quick Google of it and it looks like alcohol and masturbation aren’t recommended. No mention of coke or hookers mind. You’ll get your moneys worth tonight.

Top username for this thread…^^^^^^

No mention of coke

Apparently according to the NHS cocaine use is a known cause.

Buy some hoops to pass the time?

Coits Interruptus

Coits Interruptus

Bravo sir, bravo.

Turning tarps into tents

Hope you are ok, this can be incredibly serious. My wife is a urology nurse and has told me about this previously and how serious it can be.

If it happens to anyone else, get medical attention as soon as possible.

Hope you’ve not been up all night, and the advice above is upstanding.

Won’t count if the water genie from round the twist is helping his competitor.

thanks, I was like “where have i seen that before”

Has anyone heard from the OP or does he have his hands full.

OP – have you ever, ever felt like this?

Aware this isn’t a joke and is serious but…

Hope OP isn’t too stiff and sore today.

Had swollen nuts twice, both needing hospital visits and folk poking about, ah not too bad, wait till they are melon sized… a baked potatoe size is way too big me thinks. Post snip and post ‘repair works’ post snip. Never again.

Well, was going to do a a jokey update… but just been told I’m likely to have a form of leukemia.

They thick its a pretty treatable type, “AML” I think is the one.

Starting some chemo tablets today.

Not sure what to think at the moment.
They are taking some bone marrow and stuff tomorrow.

Oof, sorry to hear that. And I hope the treatment treats you well.

What a way to find out though. As you say, you’ll be dining out on this story for a while.

All the best Poopscoop. Sounds crap.

Wow. All the best dude, get well soon.

Best of luck Poopscoop, and perhaps beneficial they’ve identified that now, rather than having left it longer.

All the best Poopscoop – keep us updated.

All the best, that’s pretty shitty news 🙁

Despite all the jokes, i hope that it is an easily treated one and you get sorted fast

Thinking of you Poopscoop. Hope it all goes as well as it can.

Oh shit. But back to the OP – one day you will laugh about this. **** cancer