- So How Long Does it Take to Get Over A Failed Relationship?
It depends how long you were together, but it can take 2 years to get over it completely. Of course it gets better fairly quickly, although be warned that it will get worst before getting better 🙁
I reckon after a couple of months the emotions such as anger, hopelessness, and “why” start to noticeably subside.
The only certainty is that time will heal. And that’s an absolute certainty.Posted 9 years ago
**** hell get a grip people, ya canna rely on others for happiness. go and visit some new place – in fact there are so many places to visit i often think i’d be happier on my death bed knowing i’d seen so many thing and places rather than just owned some 4 bedroom place in a commuter town with a wife and two kidsPosted 9 years ago
And the “failed relationship” comment betrays some serious, although very typical, negative thinking. It was never a “failed relationship”. If it had been, then you would never have gone out with the person in the first place.
It was a relationship which came to an end. But up until that point, it was simply a “relationship”.
If you want to speed up the recovery period, I suggest dump all negative thoughts and start looking positively about things. Not easy I know, but work on it otherwise you won’t be able to move forward.Posted 9 years ago
tails – keep an open mind rather than avoiding. Someone will come along and you will feel differently 🙂
gus talks a lot of sense (waves to gus – how you doing?). Don’t let yourself feel like a victim, life isn’t a test but I truly believe that riding a bike and plenty of fresh air works wonders.Posted 9 years agocorrodedMember
Like Peregrine, I take the positives from each relationship. I remember the good times, I feel thankful that I was lucky enough to share someone else’s life for however long but I never forget that there are many other fantastic people out there. Life’s too short to be bitter and twisted.Posted 9 years agoTheYetiMember
Depends how long it takes you to learn the lessons that episode had to offer. Once you have converted the pain and upset into personal growth and greater self-awareness you will be “over it”. It can take a long time to get over someone. You never really completely forget though, and you know what? – that’s ok too. Exercise and time spent with friends is always good :O)
Alternatively, just bury it, go out, get pissed and pull a new one and make all the same mistakes all over again – fun! :O/Posted 9 years ago
I remember the good times
He he – some different opinions on here ! ……… don’t do that ! That’s probably all that you can remember right now.
Well don’t, and try to remember all the sh1t instead. There was plenty of it, right ? Well concentrate on that – and remind yourself that you don’t want any more of it. And move on.
I’m fine CG – well apart from a work related injury which is going to stop me riding this week-end 🙁 You’ve been quiet on here recently I’ve noticed…..Posted 9 years agoigmSubscriber
How long? B*gg*red if I know. That said I’ve been with the same lass since I was 22 and I’m 37 now (15 year on Paddy’s night you know) so I’m probably one of the lucky ones.
I’ve seen people in a duff relationship for ages, walk out of it and find someone spot on for them ten minutes later and I’ve seen people falter and stagnate.
I personally I never forget anyone – they’re part of what makes me who I am today (and on that basis they’ve proably got a price on their head, but not by me). I’m just glad to be where I am.
Life is a journey, and like all journeys its about where you’ve been, where you’re going and who you’re traveling with.
Gus – I liked you third post. Though the second I’d take issue with on principle.
CG – people evolve but you can evolve together.
(pissed hippy bit noew over back to middle class idiot pontification – you hadn’t noticed the difference?)
IainPosted 9 years agozaskarMember
It depends on your neural make up and personality.
Could be now, tomorrow or yesterday etc.
Closer you were then the harder it gets. Grief, rejection, happiness -manic highs or lows.
Best Staying postive and keep your self-esteem high.
Go for ride-take pride in yourself. Learn to love yourself
Set new goals in your life. You will be fine-you’re alive and this is another experience in your vast life.
Like L’oreal you’re worth it! 😀Posted 9 years agocorrodedMember
Fair point GG. Maybe not immediately! But after a break-up I’d feel even worse if I thought I’d just wasted x rubbish years; I’d prefer to think that it was time well spent and we both got something out of it. I think if you can accept that some things must pass (those rare lifelong happy relationships notwithstanding – they do exist) then you’re in better frame of mind than if you think you’ve just lost your one and only chance at happiness.Posted 9 years ago
Yeah, I know what you mean corroded – that’s why I suggested that it shouldn’t be described as a “failed relationship”. It’s just that humans can have very selective memories, and I’m sure that right now hitman can only remember ‘the good times’ as he’s desperately missing his partner, and has quite conveniently blotted out any ‘bad times’. This will reduce his ability to move on imo. He needs to remember that it wasn’t all a bed of roses and that he can still a worthwhile, and possibly even better, relationship with someone else.Posted 9 years ago
grizzlyPosted 9 years ago
Very true – TBH wrote “failed relationship” without really realising I had done so! At the moment I don’t think about said relationship all the time, but youre right when I do, it tends to be through rose tinted glasses, remembering the good times, rather than some of the more negative aspectsmacmclarenMember
Sorry for your pain mate, i have been on both sides. The only thing that got me through were some really good mates. Although being blokes we dont really talk about feelings and the like it was good just having them around taking my mind off everything. Having a good female friend worked wonders as i felt talking to her was so much easier than talking to anyone else.
Now im about to split up with my long-term partner (9 years)
We both have known that its being going downhill for a good long time but we have just muddled on for some stupid reason. It took a bit of a kick up the arse recently that im not going to get into to make me realise how much of my life i am wasting.
dark days ahead but you have to focus on what you want and what makes you happy.Posted 9 years agoBunnyhopSubscriber
I find that Women who can chat to each other and open up to their friends tend to get over things better that way.
Men however tend to bottle up stuff and don’t/won’t talk about their ex. which hinders the recovery.
I have a male friend who, after 9 years still hasn’t got over his wife leaving.
Yet my cousin who’s wife died ,he had an intense period of grieving and met someone else within the year.
I hope the pain starts to heal soon.Posted 9 years ago
As the others have said, riding the bike is good.misterfrostieMember
It does come with time hitman. My ex finished with me when I was 23 and its was teh end of my world – she was all I had. I honestly felt like I had a hole in my chest. It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I became a different person, more confident, developed a new group of great mates and my life just got better and better. Sometimes it takes a bit of a knock to improve things. Might not seem like it now mate but this could be good for you in the long run. Spend plenty of time on the bike and have plenty of lines for those hot chicks when you bump into them. Good luck mate.Posted 9 years agoiseeadarknessMember
As stated above it really all depends on the individual.
Sounds like you were pretty deep in.
I have been going through a ‘similar’ episode since 6 months back and up until last week I should have been on suicide watch!
Something just clicked though and I’ve turned walked away from the abyss.
But how long until I’m ‘over’ god only knows.
Things will get better though (can they get worse?)
Try concentrate on the positives…
Good luck.Posted 9 years ago
The topic ‘So How Long Does it Take to Get Over A Failed Relationship?’ is closed to new replies.