- Shall I sell my Ex's car whilst she's just jetted off for 2wks with another man?
It goes like this….. Dec 2011 I started dating a woman who’d just been dumped by her husband of 15 years. I was described as her ‘rock’ and we were a couple. Three months later she got ‘confused’ and dumped me saying she wanted space… only to be back on my case within a few days saying she made a mistake and we got back together. I then learned the night after she dumped me she went for a drink with another fella and it turned out he was boring.
We moved in together fell out, she moved out in April this year and we carried on seeing each other and things were OK, but the same problems hung around. We’re both quite hot headed and when we argue boy we went for it. We ended up falling out again 10 days ago.
I desperately love this woman and she’s admitted she loves me but we can’t live together…. I’ve spent the last week feeling quite ill and convinced another charmer who goes to the roller rink she works at has seen a crack and gone for it. Friday night I came out of Pizza hut with my daughter and her car (financed by me, in my name) is parked outside a pub.
Temptation got the better of me and I went in, I knew there was someone else involved and there was. She was sat with a guy who’s a bit of a nice guy but also renown for being a bit opportunistic. I confronted them, poured my soul to her in front of him and left. We spoke yesterday morning and she told me she loves me but it can’t work. I’ve begged her to talk to me, giving me hope that we could meet up on Tuesday night.
I went for a skate tonight and she wasn’t working, even though she said earlier she would be. After some driving about and calling her she told me straight. She’s in a departure lounge with this fella. He was offered two places on a family holiday and they were going ‘as friends’ and was sorry for hurting me, but now I know the truth. I’m devastated, I feel like a total pratt. She’s a trainee beautician and has waxed this fellas back on a few occasions and chatted with him at the roller rink. I don’t think anything was going on before we split, she just craves attention and he’s pounced as soon as she’s announced she’s single.
Now, the relevance to the thread is this. In January, here 9 year old Yaris was having issues so stupid me suggested trading it in for a new one. So the £1800 trade in was agreed and we bought a brand new one that costs £200 a month. Now we’ve split up she’s saying I bullied her into it and whilst she’s paying for the car I now have 2.5 years to be tied to this woman, because of a car.
She’s off with him on holiday and I have a spare key. I could probably just about get what is left owing on it, but she’d be left with nothing for a new car. Should I even stop and think about this or shall I go get the car and just do it??
I have the documents of ownership etc so it’s above board.Posted 4 years agoMatt24kSubscriber
You are better off without her in every way.Posted 4 years ago
Just walk away and if the car is legally yours then you can sell it. But, you will need to give her back the £1800 that she put in at the start by way of the part ex.
Use these 2 weeks wisely and read what you have written in your post pretending it’s not you posting. The relationship has already failed and you have given it more than enough of your time.
In a years time you’ll realise that you did the right thing.andypaul99Member
Dont do anything rash with the car, at least get a few valations before you sell it, as you only had the car since Jan with £1800 trade in it may not be worth what you owe.
Might be better to keep hold of it for a little longer.
Its tough but the best thing to do is not to make any rash decisions that you may regret in the near future.
She on the other hand is a total wrongun, no doubt.Posted 4 years agohoraMember
What do you think they are doing on holiday?
You don’t go on holiday with someone out of the blue. Unbeknown to you she has probably had this one simmering for a while.
The best you can do is wait until shes back and speak like an adult- the car needs to go thrn you can get on with your life. I think you’ve kept going back as you thought she was a victim messed up by her husband. Maybe there was more there than meets the eye/you were told about breakup?Posted 4 years agomikewsmithSubscriberdamo2576 wrote:
Pizza Hut, Roller Rink, Yaris, waxing, trainee Beautician?! Obviously made up.
Shame on you, feel the man’s pain (not literally) time to get a cheap Yarris 🙂
zokes – Member – Quote
As above. But make sure you video her when you inform her of this course of action. Then post it on here
Yep post any vids you have 😉Posted 4 years agob rMember
£200 a month for the next 2.5 years – in women terms quite a cheap lesson…
But, is it worth that for a shag everytime she decides she fancies you again – obviously we’ve no pictures to be able to make a ‘value’ judgement?
Or if you’ve signed the agreement, and want out, take it back and sort out the finance and/or keep the car. You’ll need to sort out the insurance and get a supplementary V5 (if her name is on it).Posted 4 years agowreckerMember
If you let her, this woman will lead you around the garden path for years. It may hurt, but console yourself with the fact that it’s been a lucky escape and feel sorry for the next poor bugger.
I wouldn’t sell the car out of spite/revenge. Wait until she gets back and tell her what needs to happen; you sell the car or she buys you out.
Whilst doing an image search for judge judy, I found this and thought I’d share……..Posted 4 years ago
😯 😯 😯 😯nealgloverMember
As for refunding the £1800 deposit… Presumably this would be reduced in line with the overall depreciation in value? Bit dull but don’t get generous whilst getting ‘shafted’…
Also, a knackered 9 year old Yaris wasn’t worth £1800 when you traded it in anyway.
A discount off the new one was shifted across to your Part Exchange valuation to make you feel better.
(People don’t generally like being told what their car is actually worth, so this is common practice)Posted 4 years ago
(People don’t generally like being told what their car is actually worth, so this is common practice)
As an aside, in the crazy car market that is South Australia’s, our beat up Hyundai Getz (that I grudgingly paid $5000 for six months previous when we first got here) had shot up in value to over $9000 when we traded it in for an ex-demo that Land Rover were desperately trying to shift 😯Posted 4 years agogeordiemick00Member
Where’s the roller rink in Newcastle
It’s not, it’ in Wigan where I live.
+1 to the comments about the trade value being skewed by not showing a discount, it was worth about £1500 tops. She can swivel for that, her father’s already told her to hand the car back to me so I need to do this to protect me from being lumbered with a car I don’t need and £200 a month for the pleasure.Posted 4 years agomrmonkfingerMember
Sell the car.
In fact, sell your house, move to another town, change your phone number. Hell, emigrate. I hear Australia is nice this time of year.
In short, RUN! She sounds like a complete disaster area.
While you’re at it, give yourself ten hail Marys for getting yourself in this mess.Posted 4 years agolittlemisspandaMember
I think she has 2 options.
a) she pays up and keeps the car, puts the finance in her own name or whatever
b) you sell it and give her back what she put into it.
I think out of courtesy you should tell her what you plan to do and give her the option of taking the car (and the finance) off you, whilst reimbursing you for anything you have paid towards it. She should, however, get what she has put in to it back.
She hasn’t behaved very well at all, but that does not mean that it’s ok to withhold money or sell her car without notice. Two wrongs not making a right and all that….after I left my ex partner, he left me paying off a loan that I’d taken out for him to help because he was in mortgage arrears, stating that I “forfeited the money when I left him”. Money and relationship issues are separate things IMO.Posted 4 years ago
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