Sexism on STW (a goodbye and some thanks :) )

Holy cow, 14 pages??

Instead of me reading the entire lot, could someone please summarise the main points?

Ta!

Someone flounced

But because it was a girl, a few patronising hand-wringers decided she needed defending

Another girl left

Lots of handwring

Some people came and contested the hand wringing

Fred and TJ had another go at being big hitters

Some people got offended

TandemJeremy – Member

That shows the point exactly

No – I had no intention to offend at all. I thought that was a jokey way of saying those of religious belief. However people were offended, so clearly it is an offensive word and I apologised for it and won’t do it again.

So despite me having no intent to offend its was found to be offensive – ie its not the intent its how its perceived

I don’t believe you. You clearly intended to offend. The use of the word “botherer” clearly means that it is a negative term and that you intended it to be read in that way. You’re being very disingenuous.

(tounge-in-cheek doesn’t really work very well when written)

so unless you can quote my every post on the deleted thread word for word in context don’t even think about spending hours concocting an elaborate twist on what I actually said!

It’s not an ‘elaborate twist’. It’s the truth.

Don’t try wriggling out of it. You basically stated that ‘it’s a men’s forum so just accept it and don’t get too worked up over it’.

That was the gist of your input. I’m sorry if you don’t like it, but I’m just saying it how it was. I’m sure all those others you’ve mentioned will back me up on that.

Fred and TJ had another go at being big hitters

It’s amusing that this status isn’t something we’ve decided on ourselves, but one which has bin bestowed upon us by others.

I’m extremely flattered that my comments on here mean so much to so many. 😀

how do you all stand on the word “smash” ?? – you might want to bear in mind, it doesn’t actually mean/imply unconsentual any more than “kick” does?

i am going to smash your face in
I am going to kick your head in
I am going to smash your door down
I am going to kick your door in
It suggests I am about to do something to you/your property whether you like it or not and use force to achieve it I am hardly asking for your consent if i say this to you

Would you, as a White man, go up to a Black man you don’t know and say ‘whassup ****’

Just as an aside, if the answer is “yes”, could you get one of your mates to film the encounter from a safe distance and post the clip up here for us all to see?

Jesus are you lot still going on. Go and ride your bikes, it’s lot of fun as you may well will find out.

Clubber – seriously I had no intent to offend. Unthinking and stupid perhpas.
If I intended to offend I would have been much more pejorative. – trust me.

Just spotted you r edit
doh!

i am going to smash your face in
I am going to kick your head in
I am going to smash your door down
I am going to kick your door in

“I went out and got smashed, that club was kicking”

Instead of me reading the entire lot, could someone please summarise the main points?

A couple of people raised concerns that the chat forum can be a bit ‘laddish’ and intimidating to the fairer sex. Most of the forum said “oops, sorry about that,” an embarrassingly large chunk went “what’s up with you love, get back in the kitchen” and then TJ decided to be outraged about something he’d made up and the salient point of the thread went out of the window.

Meanwhile, lots of people took time out of their day to tell us that they weren’t interested, which frankly baffles the crap out of me, it’s like ringing into a radio debate and going “well Jeremy(*), I don’t have an opinion either way.”

(*) – Vine, not our one.

Go and ride your bikes

But it’s raining!

Cougar – ta 🙂

I’ll skip this thread*

*but by posting this, I have added to it…

(*) – Vine, not our one.

Are you entirely sure the two aren’t one and the same?

RichPenny – Member

Please make it stop
Oh God yes please +1 and ditto 🙄

Also – nice post Orangina, largely ignored unfortunately !

Someone flouncedSomeone was fed up with sexism so left.

But because it was a girl, a few patronising hand-wringers decided she needed defending Others agreed.

Another girl leftAnother person was fed up with sexism so left.

Lots of handwringLots of people asked for sexism to stop

Some people came and contested the hand wringingSome people said they were going to carry on being sexist because they have no social skills.

Fred and TJ had another go at being big hittersFred and TJ said things the sexists didn’t like, because they’re true.

Sexists got offended

FTFY.

i am going to smash your face in
I am going to kick your head in
I am going to smash your door down
I am going to kick your door in
It suggests I am about to do something to you/your property whether you like it or not and use force to achieve it I am hardly asking for your consent if i say this to you

Next time my OH looks me in the eye and growls “f–k my brains out,” should I bring a hammer?

Offence and language and flounces and handwringing and everything else aside, I really do despair for some of your sex lives out there.

and then TJ decided to be outraged about something he’d made up

I was neither outraged nor did I make it up. Why people find it necessary to invent things about me I don’t understand.

with that I will leave the thread

Oh God yes please

Is this an upgrade from “Jesus”?

with that I will leave the thread

I bet you won’t 😉

I really like the use of colourful ephemisms they often make me laugh, is there something wrong with me?

with that I will leave the thread

Flounce?

I was neither outraged nor did I make it up.

I will cheerfully withdraw the first half of my statement. Sorry for the hyperbole.

A couple of people raised concerns that the chat forum can be a bit ‘laddish’ and intimidating to the fairer sex. Most of the forum said “oops, sorry about that,” an embarrassingly large chunk went “what’s up with you love, get back in the kitchen” and then TJ decided to be outraged about something he’d made up and the salient point of the thread went out of the window.

Pretty fair summary. 🙂

Flounce?

“No thanks, I’ve just had one.”

Think about the context of usage, the situation of power, things like that.

but it’s precisely the issue of context that the bone of contention.

it’s being put forward that the phrase is used in the context of it universally meaning rape and women on here are finding it offensive as a result.

my whole point is that it’s not about rape, it’s just industrial language for anal sex and that most people, male and female are more than comforatble with that (the syntax not the act !!), hence why 40,000 women find it a bit of a giggle.

some people on here have found it offensive and let’s be honest, some more people have found it offensive merely because it’s offended others rather than because it’s offended themselves.

i think some of those people might do well to reflect on the fact that being offended doesn’t always make you right

go in peace.

Why people find it necessary to invent things about me I don’t understand.

Because you invent things about other people perhaps?

….aaaaand that’s where we’ll close this thread. Just because it’s starting to degrade.

Feel free to continue debating issues surrounding it tho.