Seasonal mental health thread

I think there’s usually a thread for those struggling at this time of year. Since last week’s newsletter was about mental health, I thought I’d drop the link in here:

https://mailchi.mp/singletrackworld/trail-tickling-for-the-brain

If you want the newsletter delivered weekly, you can sign up here: https://singletrackworld.com/communication-preferences

There are lots of other stories and perspectives on bike riding and mental health here:
https://singletrackworld.com/tag/mental-health

Important mental health contacts
Mind.org.uk
NHS.co.uk
Mental Health Foundation
Samaritans

I should have some free time over Christmas if anyone wants to PM me for a chat. I can’t guarantee to cheer you up but I can at least listen.

Worldclassaccident

I should have some free time over Christmas if anyone wants to PM me for a chat. I can’t guarantee to cheer you up but I can at least listen.

Come to SH for a ride on the Ebike .. leaving space to take back a diesel heater 😉

(Rather depressed at the moment after some $%£$ nicked my bike Friday 🙁 but I think more depressing is it was niked from my happy place which somewhat is a double whammy.)

Thank you @stwhannah I think i needed to read that.
I’m under a lot of stress at work, don’t do well in winter anyway (SAD), and have a history of anxiety and depression. Everything feels like a huge weight on my shoulders at the moment
This really resonated with me

I don’t want to tempt fate and say ‘hey, I’m A-OK, totes fine, let’s roll’, because I think I’ve realised it’s an ongoing process. For me, it’s about understanding how to stay in a space of resilience.

I would say that I’m not anxious or depressed at the moment (the anti-anxiety meds help with this for me), but i’m not in a great place and could spiral if I’m not careful!

Also happy for DMs/chat if anyone needs it.

I’m in a reasonably well-balanced place for this time of year, which means the meds are working at least.

I’m under a lot of stress at work, don’t do well in winter anyway (SAD), and have a history of anxiety and depression. Everything feels like a huge weight on my shoulders at the moment

Could have written that myself. The work stress is not from the job itself though, more my situation around it having been in limbo for months and could end up meaning I have to give the job up. I’m a bit worried as at this time of year I’m normally ok and it’s the drudgery of January and February that are my danger zone but this year I’m not exactly in as good a place as I usually am. I’m putting it down to a few things that have changed over the last two years and that I just haven’t yet found my new rhythm but that in itself is a worry. Need to do some serious thinking over the holiday period and decide on a few things, what to prioritise etc.

What is it about Mondays? I always finish work on a Monday feeling totally unmotivated and more than a little down.

Thank you Hannah.

Thank you Hannah… The fear and dread has well and truly set in here, and I’m not starting from a good place this year already either!

The temptation to jump on a plane, on my own for a few days is getting stronger and stronger… Sadly, my GF really doesn’t understand this though and it causes big arguments! 😔

There are  few of us on here who have lost loved ones or had similar brushes with mortality recently.  anyone interested in a “miserable bastids” ride over the holidays?  maybe even xmas day?  I will be riding xmas day anyway

i am quite lucky that i seem to bounce back from a long list of health set backs over the years.
but one thing i would like to add is, keep riding your bikes, because everything seems better after a good bike ride.

keep well all.

The temptation to jump on a plane, on my own for a few days is getting stronger and stronger… Sadly, my GF really doesn’t understand this though and it causes big arguments! 😔

Same here, it all started a couple of days or so ago. I will just be glad when all the Christmas stuff is over…

Never had it. Until 2020 when I had a minor blip but I put that down to Covid confusion. But today – I could have screamed, I nearly cried, I took the dog for a walk and didn’t want to go home. I got home and thought a couple of beers would chill me out but no – my head suddenly feels an empty mess. I’m an island, everything else is floating around me but not washing up near me.

Happy **** Christmas.

I have cut off many people in my life this year especially the energy vampire(s).

Try meditate for 5 mins, Not more, to calm the mind in a quiet comfortable place of your choice. Do this everyday. This is the 5 mins you let go of the world. Just observe your breathing. Nothing more.

Thank you Hannah… The fear and dread has well and truly set in here, and I’m not starting from a good place this year already either!

The temptation to jump on a plane, on my own for a few days is getting stronger and stronger… Sadly, my GF really doesn’t understand this though and it causes big arguments! 😔

This sort of resonates, I think I just shut down under the weight of unknowable expectations, and it all feels like a bit of a trap, I know the gifts I’ve bought will fall short either in quantity or quality, there’s tasks I was supposed to perform, that I wasn’t asked to do, that then get thrown at me after the fact as failures on my part. I love my family but there seems to be a sort of mad panic about it all and my missus just wears herself out with it all, doesn’t ask for help then has a go at me for not psychically knowing what need to be done. Her and the MIL have just martyred themselves lugging the kids sacks of presents about (which I was specifically told we weren’t doing this year). Then it just feels like I’m being gaslit or something.

I **** hate Christmas, It’s all so bloody overcomplicated, which means I’m apparently being miserable. It just makes me want to sit quietly on my own, or go for a bike ride, neither of which I’m apparently allowed to do either because that’s not participating in a Christmas that’s forced fun and waiting anxiously to be told if I’ve bought the correct sodding gifts or not…

I don’t want to eat 5000 stodgy calories and turkey normally tastes like chicken mixed with chipboard…
It’s too dark the kids aren’t very interested anymore anyway…

I just want to get on a bloody plane too right now.

/Sigh…

@cookeaa

You’re situation sounds like very much like mine almost word for word. I’m away with work this year though but do miss Christmas day with the kids.

The last week has been really tough but as ever now the day is here I’m feeling ok, but just writing this as some kind of catharsis

I was single last year, and have been for the last 8 out of 10 Xmas days and have spent them on my own, and the other two were very grim in places – I realise there’s a bunch of people who would love to spend them solo but after 8 from 10 I’d rather not anymore, I miss the sharing, the thought of spending a special day with someone you’re really close to.

Met an amazing person earlier in the year but after 4 months I started to ask myself is this really long term, would you marry her? and truthfully the answer was no, even though she was amazing and funny, so that ended in the Autumn, so here I am, on the sofa with an old Larry Levan mix playing in the background.

Its the week before that kills me, the expectation, the thought of people buying crap with money they don’t have (i need to leave it to them tbh…) they grey depressing wetness of winter, the wanting to spend the day with my lads when the idea is on/off/on/not on the cards, the wanting to share the day with someone special and probably more than anything the thought that at 42 a good few years have passed in the same way and the fear that life is slipping away from you, no matter how much effort you put into being positive and taking the bull by the horns.

Ill have my lads tomorrow and make the day of it, today I’m hopefully going to get a second coat of paint on my lads bedroom and try to finish it off before they stay over in the week.

@reluctantjumper I think I’m just up the road from you (I’m in Pontypridd) both my bikes are in bits but if you need a pint/a random to talk to give me a shout

Also, not sure how many people will see this but, just want to say a huge thanks to everyone on the forum, and the mods, I come here nearly everyday, I’ve learned loads about loads of things, I’ve had loads of basically free advice about no end of subjects, its a great place to hang out on the whole, thanks everyone, it’s really appreciated, hope you have a great day!

@Cookeaa – very very similar here too.

I’m not sure how much help i can offer, but I’d like to tell of a positive personal experience.
In October i went off work due to stress.
I was off for 6 weeks, I felt a bit better so i went back.
I have been quite surprised by the number of colleagues who have told me they’ve been off work for similar reasons.
I had no idea.
Not sure if it’s much help, but I definitely think its good to talk.

Thanks @stwhannah. Poignant read. Thoughts with anyone struggling at the moment. On a positive personal note, I’ve managed so far this year not taking the Sertraline. I ‘started’ stopping taking them on 6th Jan (been on them since 2017) and thus far I’ve made it. Its not been easy. I’ve been angrier at the world than I have been for a long time. Its tiring. I’m knackered, but I’ve made it this far. Came home, from working away, on Friday to an, expected, empty house (wife and boys at family for birthday tea) and watched Paddington 2. I bawled my eyes out. Cried at the end of Top Gun too, and I’ve seen that over 200 times! (I love the planes) I just can’t cope with anything that has an emotional sentiment FFS.
Sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for the oven to heat up to cook Crimbo dinner, and watched The Boy, the mole, the fox and the horse. I’m in bits. Why am I posting this on a forum? **** knows. Stay safe and well folks. Bike ride early tomorrow come what may. Just got to keep on keeping on.

@cookeaa

Think I said about this before on another thread, but you’ve got to break the cycle! Unless you do something to break it, it is going to destroy your mental health and by the sounds of it your relationships too. I don’t wish to oversimplify, but when it comes to these things, permission is far harder to gain in the first place than forgiveness afterwards… Be selfish, go on the bike ride, break the cycle of expectation regarding presents etc… We are stuck in a world of expectation forced upon us, the only reason being to distract us from what is really important… Russell Brand sums it up all too well for me…

FWIW I have zero desire to stop other people enjoying their Christmas, even if I don’t believe in it as an institution… I see it like religion, I have no interest in it but I respect the choices that others make and won’t judge you for practicing whatever you choose to… Just don’t ram it down my bloody throat or judge me for thinking differently!

Yep – I spoke – nobody listened. Just like at home. 🎅

love the Brant Video ..so much obvious truth and I have pretty much the same viewpoint .
SCRATCH ..agree with the forum support and knowledge ..I come here for similar reasons these days ..have been a fan /user of the forum for near 20 yrs ? is it ? Initially just for bike related but these days often for simple advice/opinions and help ..often with poor mental health .
Loads of knowledgeable helpful compassionate folk + a few odious types but that’s to be expected . The forum gets a bad rap elsewhere on the net but often it seems by trendy/ cool/rad types who are interested in image/ ego rather than discussion. The forum has saved me a fair bit of cash also over the years ..several car faults diagnosed and easily fixed after facing hefty garage quotes etc . Allsorts really . Would be nice when unhelpful trolls and wind up merchants were dispatched from threads before things get spoilt which is however only occasional but I guess thats a question of subjectivity / maturity/ communication skills and freedom of speech. Perhaps I should retract that ..I may have to remove myself.
thanks all
Bill in Devon