Porsche £500 bangernomics

Where can you realistically make use of them in the UK/Europe?

The school run, you’ll barely feel a parked Range Rover

I don’t normally like caravans…. but I LOVE that/those ones.

How much?

I’m reading this with pangs of jealousy – I so wish I had the skills to do this – right up my street (but I can only manage it with bikes, not cars!)

kelvin – caravan price on previous page.

Birthday update.
Arrived on a site near Bala North Wales late last night so just parked it and quickly set up. Our friends in ‘Lucy Walker’ (Jay is a mountaineering nutter) the VW Crafter arrived shortly after us.

Turned caravan around in the morning so the door/sunshade is out of the wind.

Bacon and egg buttys always taste better when camping!

Had a mooch at the awesome petrol stations in Bala, currently having a beer.
Staying on here till Tuesday then heading towards the Shropshire border to see other friends then heading a bit further north as another friend is coming camping with us for a night then back home on the Easter weekend.

Car tows brilliantly – doesn’t have a huge amount of torque but using the ‘box in manual mode you can keep the revs up a bit and keep it in the sweet spot.

Fuel economy wise – towing it’s doing 20-21mpg.
Not towing it did 31.3mpg going to Gateshead up the A1 to collect the caravan.

Yay, go Rusty!

As a bloke in a Zafira* with a blow up tent I can only applaud.

* currently worth 9 Porsches

We have that Isabella canopy too (probably worth 2 Porsches). If you read the installation instructions you’ll note erection to be done topless and beers to be brought on completion.

I hope the measurement if value in terms of the number of Porsches catches on. In fact, if appropriate I may go over and gently troll the £5k enduro bike thread with this now. 😀

@RustyNissanPrairie

Had a mooch at the awesome petrol stations in Bala

I always think those petrol stations should have an F1 crew on them….

…and we’re back home!

We went from Bala to over near the Shropshire border and a great little farm campsite. They had 3 hardstanding pitches which we had all to ourselves. Lovely family who ran the farm/camping, immaculate facilities – would highly recommend!
The weather was awful with local flooding but Greta and T@b(atha) handled it all fine!

From there to Nottingham area – the site was rubbish but we met up with a friend who stayed over in her tent. Visited Sherwood forest which was great.

Regarding Greta – I knew Mk1/955 Cayennes are massively capable before I bought it but what an amazing bit of kit it is (especially for £500!). I’ve had it in low range with the centre diff locked towing Tabatha through muddy fields and floods through to 4 of us and Bert blasting along Welsh A roads in utter comfort.

The T@B caravan is great, it tows well, is big enough for the pair of us and Bert, well built and nice and snug when the weather is awful.

600miles and 20mpg – not great but for £500 I’m not complaining.

A similar era Cayenne gets Pistonheads shed of the week.

It also costs 4xPorsches!

https://www.pistonheads.com/news/ph-features-sheds/porsche-cayenne-s–shed-of-the-week/48435

Just because it’s a cheap car doesn’t mean it gets cheap parts!

New front discs and pads cost 0.5 of a Porsche (plus £60 for new caliper pipes, pad fitting kit and wear sensors).

Front diff swop last weekend (noisy pinion bearings).

All bolted back together now but rebuilding front brakes as they were a bit grotty.

New OEM seals fitted to replacement before fitment.

Front propshaft and drive shafts disconnected.
Suspension, roll bar and steering shaft separated from bodywork, subframe lowered and supported. Space to remove differential.

This is why I like working on quality older cars – corrosion resistant fasteners.

Thankfully I have a good assistant on hand to double check my work

Calipers removed and cleaned up, piston and seals okay but dust covers replaced.

New Brembo discs&pads/bleed nipples/rigid pipes/disc bolts/pad retainers/wear detection cables. Full brake bleed.

Front end suspension components cleaned and Fertan applied whilst brakes removed.

All back in one piece now and been for a spin in it. The £130 differential was a good punt – the drivetrain is quiet as it should be now.

Ready for bank holiday caravanning – at least you won’t be stuck behind us!

A really readable thread, thanks for taking the trouble.

What are the pairs of cylinders that seem to be riveted to the ends of each brake pad? Something to do with dampening vibration??

Are they not wear stops, so you can’t use the backing plates for stopping when you’ve ran out of brake pad material. I could do with these on my bike 😬

@Timba

The brake pads things I think are harmonic weights – the red cable are the pad wear sensors.

I’d forgotten what a conflicting car it is to drive – my usual daily is a 2004 Berlingo, it’s small, economical and unpretentious. This Cayenne is the exact opposite!

I drove it to work today to bed the brakes in a little for weekend and parked it next to my work colleagues Cayenne. I’m ashamed to say that I took him out in mine when I’d just bought it and he immediately traded his Freelander in for a later model Cayenne he loved it that much.

For reference though his cost 20x times what mine cost!

A Porsche the cost 20 Porsches?

It does get a bit confusing talking about multiple Porsches when the unit of currency is a Porsche.

👍

Googled your suggestion, thanks, who’d have thought that brake pads are this complicated (see section 4)… https://www.hella.com/techworld/us/Technical/Brakes/Repairing-brakes-important-information-79437

Front differential and brake tinkering behind us we fuelled up and headed an hour or so away to near Lancaster / South Lakes. Nice quiet little site, no children or clubhouse!

Bit of local exploring including calling at South Lakes Porsche as I know they built a 957 for the Porsche Re1nvent series.

Gearbox full service and I have a new water pump and set of pulleys to preemptively change next and that’s pretty much it mechanical wise.

Tyre and wheel decisions are also looming, it’s currently on 19″s but they are a bit scabby and the ride is harsh. Looking out for a set of 18’s from a 957/958 to put some mild all terrains on.

Got some looks on the motorway when towing – I bet none of them guessed the car cost £500 and the caravan 30xPorsches!

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There was a lovely 957 turned into, what looked like, an overlander outside Porsche Chester a couple of weeks ago.

It took was probably for the Re1nvent series.

I should have got a picture for you.  I may be going back…. Hopefully it’s still there.

…Porsche Chester Ellesmere Port…

That’s better.

There’s a bit of footage on YouTube of Re1nvent – it was like a low budget milder version of Landrover’s Camel Trophy/G4 challenge but it was good they used older cars. I think it was also to do with the Cayenne becoming a Porsche classic – they’ve released upgrades for the car (sat nav head unit, retrofitting cruise control etc) and parts and servicing are ‘cheaper’.

Anyway, just arrived home, T@batha washed and fridge emptied, car did 20.3mpg so slight improvement on last time. Nice weekend away, good campsite – will deffo go back there.

That’s better.

You’d have thought so but it’s officially Porsche Centre Chester 😛

Officially somchichially. 🤣

car did 20.3mpg

Assuming two people in the vehicle that’s about the same mpg as if you’d flown. Much as I’m enjoying the bangernomics aspect of the thread I couldn’t drive one, that’s worse than the real world figures for even the biggest motor homes.

I couldn’t drive one, that’s worse than the real world figures for even the biggest motor homes.

Hello, the fun police have arrived.

Firstly, no-one is asking you to drive one and secondly you’re wrong about the Moho consumption.

That’s about the same mpg as if you’d flown

And thirdly a reasonably full commercial jet will get around 80mpg (per person)

@edukator

Not towing it will do ~30mpg, the ~20mpg is two up towing. When it’s not towing it’s parked up – it’s not a daily.

I did state in the very beginning and a few times since that I acknowledge this Cayenne is a dinosaur but what else would I replace it with? Anything newer would be more than likely diesel, and probably not much better economy wise.

Doing bangernomics on this Cayenne has enabled us to spend car money on a caravan instead.

….. and you can’t get a commercial flight to the south lakes!

Anything newer would be more than likely diesel, and probably not much better economy wise.

958 diesel does 35-39 on average (and 23 towing a 2 ton boat) JFYI

30mpg (which will likely drop to 25mpg with all terrain tyres on, and maybe 22 or 23 once its lifted) is going to be really painful on a tour of scandinavia. assuming sheffield to tromso return (I’ve no idea where the OP lives or where they’re going), at 5000 miles round trip, 22mpg would be £1300 in fuel alone (assuming £1.50 per litre) compared to ~£500 in diesel in a small people carrier or estate.

@5lab

It’s not getting lifted – it was my initial idea but since buying the caravan the standard suspension setup is fine for our use.

It’s currently on really soft compound Kumho aggressive winter tyres that are probably worse for mpg than an AT.

Remember the car cost £500, if it costs a bit more in fuel I’m ‘still in pocket’ with my man maths, and besides I have an old but super economical Peugeot Partner (Berlingo) – I’d rather pay the extra and go in air conditioned leather cosseted auto box comfort than the ‘Blingo.

But how will those people without driveways and a refinery at home get their fuel, do they have to drag the hoses across the pavement blocking other people?  These internal combustion engines will never replace electric.

How much stuff have have you got jammed in that tiny caravan!!?? 🙂

Must weigh sod-all so not sure why your fuel consumption drops from nearly 30mpg to 20mpg!

It’s got the usual camping chairs/BBQ/awning, bit of food and provisions but nothing too heavy. The 30mpg was a long steady 60mph run up the A1 – so ideal conditions for maximum mpg, I haven’t done a long non towing journey since with it.

The V6 engine (Volkswagen VR6) easily falls off the bottom of its torque curve (320nm) when towing and then you are dropping gears and using its rev range to get it back into its torque curve again which hurts economy. It’s happiest at a true/GPS indicated 60mph.

I’m rebuilding a £500 XC90 as per my initial post in this thread, that should be better for towing as it has 400nm torque at I expect a lower rpm.

I’m rebuilding a £500 XC90 as per my initial post in this thread, that should be better for towing as it has 400nm torque at I expect a lower rpm.

Maybe…. but I had an XC() before the 958 and it was worse on MPG (averaged 31-32 on my usual 100 mile run with 70% dual carriageway).  My theory is that the [smaller] engine was working harder than the one in the 958.

And thirdly a reasonably full commercial jet will get around 80mpg (per person)

You’re right, sometimes the first Google result is wrong.

Tinkering time!

Front driver’s door speaker was a bit crackly – replacement sourced from local Porsche breakers (£10). Fixed👍

Gearbox service, fluid drained, cover removed, new ZF filter installed along with new seals & cover gasket.
New fluid at correct temperature level.
Adaptions reset.

Deus sticker applied (from Camperdown store)
Ready for next bank holiday towing session!