personal tragedy – Its my turn now

Sad tidings, TJ. May you find comfort.

Not been on here consistently recently, so I’ve somehow missed this thread, and I’m sorry for that. TJ, you sent me lovely thoughts when my Joey died, and I return them wholeheartedly. You two were blessed that you had that time together at the end, and were able to say all the things you needed to say, which is a comfort. It’s my greatest sadness that I never had that opportunity to say goodbye, and to tell Joey I loved her, it was just too sudden. Take care, and treasure your memories.

hi TJ, just got back on to the forum after a few days away (having been alerted to the news by jojo). I don’t think we’ve met, though we have conversed and have mutual acquaintances (some more surprising than others).

Heart wrenching to read the news in print as it were – thoughts – both our thoughts – go out to you and extended family, hope that you can take the positive memories you’ve shared over decades forward. Grief is OK too. :hugs: Callum & Anne-Marie (also nurse, now lapsed, from the old ERI).

So sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you can take some comfort from the kind comments on here.

@CountZero lovely stuff to read. It’s why Mrs Sandwich doesn’t object to me spending time here.

“see how many STWers I can find IRL”

Add the Mystic East (Ipswich) to the list.

“see how many STWers I can find IRL”

I’d rather tickle my bits with a nettle than meet people IRL, but I’ll make an exception this time.

Might even rock up on the 25 yr old stumpjumper, which I’ve literally never ridden.

W.Yorks is lovely btw 🙃

So sorry to hear this TJ  deepest condolences .

Rich

Heart rending to read. No words can offer solace, but thoughts are with you dude.

I have just been interviewed for the Sunday times. Scots government are launching an assisted dying bill on monday. The newspaper piece is in support of that.

Good to hear that you are able to help in the campaign to spare needless suffering Jeremy.

Ta. Might as well use the tale for something good. Few folk are in the privileged position I was in to ensure a peaceful end.

I’ve only just seen this, TJ. I’m so very, very sorry to hear your sad news. It seems as if I’ve known you (if only virtually) ever since I first became a STW member. I can only wish you all the very best for everything that you decide to do from now on – all my best to you.

Well you have all been very lovely but I think its time this thread was allowed to die (sic)

so if the mods could close it please?

I wanted to make an update to this. I hope it doesn’t come over as too self indulgent

Julie did not want a funeral or any fuss at all. ” no weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth” she said. She did however want her ashes scattered at Lochan na Herba – a beautiful spot in the highlands that we had been to many times and said we would camp there one day but never did.

After some “discussion” she did allow me to arrange a small ceremony there for her friends and family to attend. However no one was allowed to the crematorium – not even me. I wasn’t even allowed to buy an urn – her ashes ended up in a biscuit tin! ( a beautiful old tin that she had kept her sewing kit in and that she got from her mother)

I invited her friends and family to join me at the lochan ( a 3 mile walk from the road) to celebrate her life and to enjoy a picnic of cheese sandwiches and cheese and onion crisps ( her favourites). We called this “Julies Picnic” as she was very fond of a picnic. 40 folk turned up.

NO outsiders were present – just family and friends. Our friend Stuart did the introductions and gathered us all around, I told the story of her life including a few amusing anecdotes. I was only able to do this because in years gone by she had taught me how to speak in public.

Some friends sang ” the wild mountain thyme” which is a song we used to sing together on our wanderings and I , with the support of my mother and our friend Iona, scattered a token amount of ashes into the lochan. I was only allowed to scatter a token amount because according to her its polluting!

We then sang a few choruses of ” the happy wanderer” and marched up and down to lighten the mood, drank a toast to her and then settled down to a picnic and chat.

It was an incredibly hot day to the point people were jumping in the lochan to stave off heatstroke

Once again pour friends rallied round in an incredible way to make sure everything worked and to take the load off my shoulders.

there was laughter, there was tears, and there was a fine picnic. It went just as she wanted and it was totally appropriate to the woman she was and her hatred of “fuss” and love for the mountains

02 – everyone heads to the lochan by TandemJeremy[/url], on Flickr

Me speachifying – its not a nazi salute honest!
05 by TandemJeremy[/url], on Flickr

08 the listeners by TandemJeremy[/url], on Flickr

14 by TandemJeremy[/url], on Flickr

18 Jeremy toasts by TandemJeremy[/url], on Flickr

22 the swimmers by TandemJeremy[/url], on Flickr

more pictures here if anyone wants
https://flic.kr/s/aHsmWKSpFL

Thank you for indulging me with this. Its cathartic for me and I hope of interest to some of you. remember – no weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth

Having a stiff whiskey now

I can see why you chose such a place as that to remember and celebrate her life.

As for the biscuit tin, we need more people like that in the world, that’s my kind of person.

She was and still is loved by many people that knew her, obviously. Can’t think of a better legacy mate.

Sounds like you had a beautiful, thoughtful, and emotional, memorial for Julie Jeremy.

I’m glad you shared that. I know today hasn’t been a particularly good day for you, but I guess there will be down days as well as up days. The unpredictability must make it harder to cope.

I had a real wobble earlier but recovered quite quickly and writing that helped

thanks for indulging me and the support I have had from here has been really helpful.

Well done, TJ, a fine way to celebrate her life, and I’m happy to read about it.

Really great to read that tj.
Sounds a great tribute to an amazing lady and a wonderful relationship. I am very envious of what you obviously had together,

Wonderful stuff TJ, thanks for the updates. Loads of love xxx

Biscuit tin would be ac, I’d delight in the disappointment of people when they find nothing but my dusty remains.

Looks like quite a special day there TJ I hope that you enjoyed it I’d whole heartedly approve if that was my goodbye.

Looks like a beautiful day, a beautiful location and a beautiful send off. I am sure you did her proud.

Ps can’t beat a bit of the Silencers.

Sounds like a wonderful way to commemorate her life, TJ.

Beautiful.

That’s properly made me blub, virtual hugs to TJ.

What a lovely way to celebrate Julie’s life.

I hope you will be able to eventually look back fondly on the day, despite the terribly sad reasons for it.

I hope you will be able to eventually look back fondly on the day,

I am quite conflicted

i also had a really good dinner the night before with old friends I had not seen for years who came up for the picnic. The day its self was beautiful and just as she wanted and created a lot of good memories for the group of friends and I got to see how much she meant to others as well and we had some good laughs – I managed not to make too many sick jokes – i was thinking about playing “long shot kick de bucket” which is an old reggae song 🙂

it just feels odd to have had so many good moments during the weekend where I said my last goodbyes.

So a sad day but a good day

Thanks for this TJ

Thank you for sharing TJ – what a great way to remember someone.

One day someone’s going to tuck me in a biscuit tin, choose some beautiful place full of trees and a stream and leave me there. 👌

That sounds like a fantastic day and lovely way of remembering someone. I’m glad you wrote it and shared with us.

That’s beautiful TJ. Good man.

That’s one of my favourite places as well, absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this, it really looks like you did her proud.

Thank you for indulging me with this.

No, thank you for sharing it. It reminds us all of what is important. Look after yourself and keep updating us.

Wonderful to read TJ. What a fantastic person she sounded. All the best.

How lovely, a beautiful way to celebrate a life – thanks for sharing. 🙂

One thing she didn’t tell me was what to do with the rest of the ashes! I am only allowed to put token amounts into these wild places and have since been to a couple more. A wee sprinkle went in the river at the Falls of Tarf when I camped there with my nephew who was unable to attend the picnic because of covid and a bit went into a couple of places on the island of Iona – including into a bog Julie fell in! I am also going to take some to Culra bothy and to a friends house in ireland to put it in their veggie patch – carbon cycle and all that. Also on Iona when I threw some ashes into the sea my pals dog thought I was playing fetch and dived in after the ashes!

But you get kilos of the stuff! What to do with the rest of it? Bin behind sainsburys? Seafield sewage works? the beach at portobello?

Actually I did put a large amount into the sea at Portobello to get rid of the bulk of it – I went there with her colleagues who were unable to make it to the picnic. If you chuck a load into water it just sits on the bottom! had to swish it around with my feet to disperse it!

I still have the biscuit tin with some ashes in it sitting in my sitting room

Lovely.

Thankyou for writing that, it’s just taken me back to carrying a little box with my mum to a wild spot.

I’m smiling as I think of her and that last trip, I hope that you will feel the same in time for these last adventures.