MyHermes: Divide by Zero

I live in a city centre

you have to appreciate Hermes courier will receive 80p per parcel or something like that. Self employed with 80+ drops a day. its amazing anything turns up anywhere. Defo a market for cargo-biking in urban areas.

So just say he fails to deliver…
With the £20 you get in compensation you send 4 more (assuming £5 per delivery), you could quickly get £100 in return (providing you can get boxes and tape for nowt) you could then post 15 (and buy the boxes)
How long until you fill a van or could you make a million?

If this doesn’t work I may post an “iPhone X” to myself. That would probably make someone at HQ wake up.

That Tracking page is hilarious and truly Shocking at the same time.

This is excellent. Thank you for doing this 😆

Somewhere out there is the courier’s equivalent of STW with a parallel thread going on…

I reckon they are on to you, hence delays etc.

The 80+ drops a day being used to justify the poor service makes me laugh a bit. One day when I worked for Ringtons, a DPD driver asked me how many calls I made per day. He nearly choked when I told him a quiet day was 120, and it could be up to 160. And that was the number of customers to see, not overall calls. Once you factored in calling back for people who were out, it could be 180+ on a busy round. And then you had to actually sell to them whilst there, not just drop off a parcel or put a card through the door.

One day when I worked for Ringtons, a DPD driver asked me how many calls I made per day. He nearly choked when I told him a quiet day was 120, and it could be up to 160

That explains why the local Ringtons chap drives like a c**t then 🙄

and must work 24 hours a day to get 180 parcels delivered (unless they are all in adjacent houses)

Even working 10 hours per day that is 3 minutes between parcels which is clearly not possible.

Making 20 calls an hour is clearly a lot easier than delivering 10 parcels per hour (driving between each house which could be a mile from previous house etc,.)

I’m not sure you understand how Ringtons reps work…

[stealth edit by other poster makes this comment a bit out of place]

I’m not sure you understand how Ringtons reps work

No, I’ve never heard of Ringtons but I’m not sure durhambiker understands how a DPD delivery driver works. They have to get in the van and drive to each house which could be miles apart. Can’t compare the two in any way.

Can’t compare the two in any way.

Yes, comparing one person who spends their days driving round and delivering items with another driving round making sales visits is a complete waste of time.

Hermes are delivering a telly to me at work before 8 tonight (i’ll be here till 10) – It was meant to be here last night but it didn’t arrive, sat in depot hell*

My local Hermes courier is pretty good so it’s not concerning me too much and what’s a day really when I’m here anyway

*incidentally, the Edinburgh Depot is at Newbridge, just off M8, junction 2

Was merely a comment about how an actual parcel delivery driver was shocked at how many calls we were expected to do. But as pointed out, yeah, comparing two jobs that involve driving a van around, knocking on people’s doors and interacting with them in some way is completely impossible.

comparing two jobs that involve driving a van around, knocking on people’s doors and interacting with them in some way is completely impossible

Okay, so you make 180 deliveries in a day. Assuming 10 hours actual work time that is;
180 / 10 hours = 18 deliveries per hour or 1 every 3 minutes

How would you manage that if the houses are 5 minutes apart?

Good thread.

Hope you post/share it with Hermes to see thier viewpoint on it.

Has it arrived or is your soul still lost?

Who the **** are Ringtons? Are they a northern thing?

I had to look it up. Tea apparently.

I have done a couple of shifts delivering for DX. It is almost impossible to do the job as quick as the depot supervisor wants, to get all your drops in etc. You are expected to offload items which are clearly 2 man lifts (individual items way over 50kg), the van will have been loaded by a warehouse operative who is having a game with another warehouse operative about who can make life most difficult for the driver – it’s a thankless, soulless existence.

You are driving on the limit, the depot is constantly calling you, addresses are sometimes hard to find, traffic gets in the way etc.

Not making excuses for crap service per se but having experienced it myself I am a little more tolerant of the actual courier. It is the firms who should be blamed for it is they that determine the working culture.

Tonight got home and found a dpd card in the communal letterbox, with a tracking number, but no address, looked up the tracking number and it shows a picture of the apartment block communal front door, 30 plus apartments may be waiting for a parcel, including me. But doesnt give an appartment number

I ordered some GHD’s last week for my wife’s Xmas present. Direct from GHD with guaranteed next day delivery with MyHermes. Well, despite Hermes saying they delivered, they never showed. I’ve just been on the tracking page again and there’s now a function to view the signature of the recipient and hey presto, someone has faked my signature!!

GHD are being a bit cr@p. Since I bought them, black Friday kicked in and they aren’t even prepared to offer me the discount as a gesture of goodwill.

its that time of year when riff raff take on temporary work in the distribution industry. your stuffs going missing as they are doing their christmas shopping.

GHD are being a bit cr@p. Since I bought them, black Friday kicked in and they aren’t even prepared to offer me the discount as a gesture of goodwill.

CRA, cancel the order.

Might be onto something with the riff raff thing

I’ve had mail cming through very late recently. I got septembers pay slip through from the bank today….dated and stamped sept 26th. I’ve had 2 pay slips since that was sent…..

i am sat at home working while waiting for a coffee table to be delivered. an email pops into my inbox saying “your parcel has been delivered”
evidently it has been “put through letterbox”
it F****** hasn’t!

MyHermes are a pile of crap! you cant even speak to anyone if you ring them.

GHD have offered me a full refund now. I’d like to know if they get to the bottom of it. Could I report it to the police if I felt like it!?

No, because you’re not the victim they are.

They’ve probably worked out it costs them £40 an hour to employ someone so it’s cheaper to write off a £35 cost to them product than chase it up.

so judging by the tracking the ops soul is now in a bin somewhere ?

timely as ive just checked the tracking on my parcel from amazon…..

its been tracked in edinburgh at 13.30 – but not yet out for delivery.

at the top it says “will be delivered by 8pm”

a hotshot direct courier just coming to my house would struggle to do edinburgh to mine at this time of day before 8pm….

Edinburgh to Aberdeen in 4.5 hours, that’s perfectly plausible surely.

GHD have offered me a full refund now. I’d like to know if they get to the bottom of it. Could I report it to the police if I felt like it!?

No, because you’re not the victim they are.

Very much yes you could as you have evidence of someone at the delivery company forging your signature in order to steal a parcel addressed to and payed for by you.

indeed- only i dont live in Aberdeen im in the bloody highlands and islands 😉

its also unlikely to be a hotshot straight to my door is it ? + its not yet out for delivery….. its arrived in the delivery DEPOT (edinburgh) at 13:30 not left there yet.

you have evidence of someone at the delivery company forging your signature

Not unknown for neighbours to be naughty…

well i was right .

the email just landed there has been a “delay” i may get it in the next day or 2 …..

they operate a system of not actually being able to speak to anyone, any telephone number is just a loop and if you ring the head office it hangs up after a few rings.
there is a complaints number but refuse to give them 35p per minute to use that.

no way will i ever use them to send anything. this parcel is possibly in a safe place outside somebody’s house. not much use to me there!

Guys… prepare to be shocked!!!!!!!!!!!

There has been a delay.

There has been a delay.

Nooooooooo!

MyHermes delivered within the first hour of the promised 4 hour slot today!

I’d been in a cold sweat all morning having read this thread yesterday evening.