My son is VERY scared of dogs, cats and ……….

Looking for some suggestions. My 3yr old son has developed a fear of dogs, other peoples cats, and many animals in general to be honest. I think the trigger was when he was bowled over by a great dane when he was one, but the fear seems to be getting worse – he occasionally freaks when our cat runs past him. He will generally tolerate a dog if he is up in my arms or if the dog is sitting down, but as soon as it moves he will be climbing my legs in a flash. Any ideas? I am going to make sure he spends more time with calm dogs, but is there anything else I should consider doing. I dont want this becoming a phobia and more importantly the last thing I want is him running away from a dog onto a road or being chased because he runs.

No advice, but as parent of a 2.75 year old myself, good luck!

kids generally develop fear at an early age, but with enough exposure to them they can also overcome these fears…

get a labrador.

I’m in no way trained in issues around psychology, and scream like a woman if there’s a spider in the room bigger than ten pence piece. But i think exposure. Not in public to begin with, I’d volunteer myself and my very friendly,(but trained so under control) goldie if you were near by. Very short periods of time to begin with. Maybe 30 seconds in the same room. or watch someone playing with a dog from a distance. He probably needs to learn in a subconscious way that a dog can cavort about and jump and run, and he can be fine. Not sure if he should know its going to happen or not, someone else may be able to advise tbw.

It sounds like you may be on the money with the great dane if it is dogs moving that upset him, sudden unpredictable movements may trigger a small adrenalin release .

The other thing would be not to exhibit yourself any behaviour that reinforces his phobia, picking him up the moment their’s a dog will seem like you think there a reason he needs to be protected. Fine if he asks but make him initiate it. Let him see you talking to and playing with dogs. No quick fix, but with your help I’m sure he can grow out of it.

Probably all stuff you’ve thought of but its how my mum stopped me picking up her phobia for thunder , and why i now run outside in a storm and stare at the sky when lightening begins, so get it right and maybe he’ll be a vet 😉 (i did get my spider phobia from my sister, i remember being fine with spiders)

Yeah, I think it’s very important that he sees you being totally normal, indeed having fun, around animals. He’ll pick up on your behaviour so if you’re tense because you think he’s going to be nervous, he’s going to be nervous.

Then, as others have said, gradual exposure.

Strangely, teaching/training children is much the same as teaching/training dogs…

Our son is coming to this from a different angle. After our Westie attacked him twice hes become erratic around dogs. He points, wants to approach them and if one approaches him too enthusiastically he goes mental/unconsoleable. Next door has a Bichon Frise that scares him rigid yet a Staff has to be stroked. WTF.

He LOVES cats 😀

my friends 18 month old is apparantly frightened of dogs. my missus was holding him whilst the parents were off doing something and my lab was doing the usual lab thing of wagging and sniffing, and the baby was stroking the dogs head, no trauma at all. no-one told us the baby was frightened. maybe it’s not the baby?

I think the trigger was when he was bowled over by a great dane when he was one

^^ this

kids generally develop fear at an early age, but with enough exposure to them they can also overcome these fears

^^ and this

rocket jr was frightened by a low flying jet when he was just a few months old and even now (16 years later!) he still reacts to loud noises

My dog is available for familiarisation if you’re anywhere near the south. A fairly big, black pointer, so can be scary looking, but soft as shite and brilliant with kids.

Maybe best to get some professional help in case you make it worse?

One idea off the top of my head is you could be ask these guys http://www.petsastherapy.org/ if you could meet up with a P.A.T. dog a few times to get him used to them as they will be nice dogs he can trust.

Then go to rescue centres (call in advance and explain) to expose him to more and more cats and dogs in a safe environment and maybe he will take pity on them and it may change how he feels and want to adopt a cat.

Edit: just noticed PAT have cats too.

and yup, my cat and dog are available if you are anywhere near Somerset. Springer spaniel and the softest cat ever who has never used his claws on anyone, not even the dog. Got a couple of very tame lambs too if he’s not sure about livestock!

Poor little mite. I can understand where the fear comes from. In my nephews case, (2.5yrs) he was scared when my GSD was standing up, as he was eye level with her mouth. He was comfortable with her lying down, just not standing. He has gained in confidence, we never pushed the issue,but he now wants to use her as a pillow, she’s happy to oblige!

I think it will take time, meeting a few nice calm dogs would probably help if he’s ready for that.

Lets be honest: Dogs are generally pretty stupid creatures. Often owned by compete idiots, who demonstrate little or no consideration for others. They’re unpredictable, potentially violent, slathering, shit-generating machines.

When they’re the same height as you, or bigger, seems that being wary of them is just common sense to me. He’s obviously a bright kid. Have you thought about arming him?

kids generally develop fear at an early age, but with enough exposure to them they can also overcome these fears…

get a labrador.

This. My 3 year old was terrified of all dogs. We got a collie – she’s fine with dogs now. It was an unintentional side effect and I’ll caveat it by saying we knew her well enough that we understood once we had a puppy she would get used to it. If we thought she would be terrified by the puppy then we wouldn’t have got one.

And for balance: cats are the distillation of pure evil. Our cat is great to have around, but sometimes I feel like its dedicated its life to achieving my immediate death. Its the way he looks at me. He’s right to be scared of them too

Lets be honest: Dogs are generally pretty stupid creatures. Often owned by compete idiots, who demonstrate little or no consideration for others. They’re unpredictable, potentially violent, slathering, shit-generating machines.

When they’re the same height as you, or bigger, seems that being wary of them is just common sense to me. He’s obviously a bright kid. Have you thought about arming him?

Do you want your kid to turn into Binners? 😉

Better sort it out pronto! 😆

I was going to suggest getting a dog or cat as I quite like the direct approach.

our youngest, now 5 years old, developed a massive phobia about dogs after being bitten when she was 3.

To ‘cure’ it we actually bought a dog – might sound cruel but we introduced some gentle exposure to puppies beforehand as a teaser and then, as a puppy Stanley (Bedlington) was a whole bunch less scary than ‘dogs’ in general. They also got to be involved with the naming, setting up of Stanley’s home and his care; feeding etc. Distraction from the fact he was a dog but instead something that needed looking after, that they could play with and that grew un-noticed into a full-sized pooch.

We’ve had Stanley coming up for a year now and he’s fantastic with both our girls and in turn they’re both fantastic both with him and dogs in general (though conversely we’ve had to train the girls now that whilst Stanley is friendly enough, not all dogs are so they’re not to go in and stroke / pet strange dogs without checking with the owners first)…

A mate of mine has two cats who are evil personified. One attacked me taking a chunk out of the palm of my hand. I woke up one morning to find it sat on my chest looking down at me.

Only he can stroke them. Everyone else gets attacked. Anyway, one of them didn’t like the bucket of water I emptied over it after it attacked me. 😆

I don’t know that there us too much you can do – these fears are normally hard-wired in. We are having the same with one of our girls who is scared of spiders (not helped by now having found two in her bed and she isn’t even three yet.

I try picking them up and showing her they don’t hurt but it doesn’t work. But she will happily pick up a ladybird or woodlice – for some reason she doesn’t bother. The funny thing is that she has a pretty revolting looking furry spider that she loves and takes to bed with her 😐

Don’t take him to a rescue centre as andy! suggested, the dogs in there are over excited and crazy (generalisation obviously). I think showing him that your not scared and beyond that you are happy to see/play with/stroke dogs.

that’s why I said ring them in advance, they may have some older sedate ones or some cute little kittens and a quiet area. I am sure they would appreciate a donation and you may find a nice one to adopt for the direct route.

bowled over by a great dane when he was one

Your son used to be a great dane??? That’s wicked! Was it in a previous life or was he born that way?

Seriously though, ‘controlled’ positive experiences with friends’ and families pets is the way to go.

Go to the cat rescue and bring home the biggest, soppiest tomcat you can find.

Job done.

Otherwise, the folk around the corner have a Rottweiler, which escaped the other day and sauntered into our garden. Without realising he was there, I opened the door to be greeted by a massive bloody great devil hound, which promptly rolled on his back and asked – nay demanded – that I come right over and tickle his belly.

Silly bugger.

Teach your son to kick animals in the face until he’s more confident around them….

Dress up as a dog so he has nowhere to hide.
He will then mtfu and face his fears.

Lets be honest: Dogs are generally pretty stupid creatures. Often owned by compete idiots, who demonstrate little or no consideration for others. They’re unpredictable, potentially violent, slathering, shit-generating machines.

I think we could make the same ridiculous generalisation about kids and their parents.

Well, someone that makes ridiculous generalisations would anyway…

Someone like, say, binners.

As for the OP, yeah, exposure is yer only man…he’s correctly identified that a big dog is something to be scared of as it knocked him over. But it’s up to you now to either reinforce that fear or reduce it.

And then people still think dogs are ok. Dunno what to say, I am still scared by dogs. All of them. So if a dog comes near me i usually use my bag as a deterrent. Unless it’s the LBS owner’s nephew’s dog. I just leave the shop.

This reminded me of something from A level psychology a little, Freud’s Little Hans study.

However that took Freud’s usual twist and started to talk about large genitals. 😆

They’re unpredictable, potentially violent, slathering, shit-generating machines.

Sounds like the majority of STW forumites.

Sounds like the majority of STW forumites.

😆

Dogs are no more unpredictable than people.

Dogs are generally pretty stupid creatures. Often owned by compete idiots, who demonstrate little or no consideration for others. They’re unpredictable, potentially violent, slathering, shit-generating machines.

Yep and here is my one…..

No!!! get that terrifying unpredictable violent looking creature off my screen… 😛

Ever seen a whole family leap off the pavement and halfway up a tree? 😆

I used to be very scared of dogs. This certainly wasn’t helped by my best mate having a boxer called Prince that was an absolute puppy if he came into a room and you were already there but would rip your face off if you walked in and he was already there. I remember so many occasions when he was led out of the room so I could go in and sit down.

Then my brother was attacked by a great dane – I honestly thought he had been eaten to death as I ran home in floods of tears. He came home about 10 minutes later, totally unscathed but a little upset.

hora – Member
Ever seen a whole family leap off the pavement and halfway up a tree?

Been terrorising the neighbours going outside wearing only your bib shorts? 😉

Never really thought about it before, but suppose I was fairly scared of dogs that were bigger than me as a child.

But I never remember really having anything to do with on the other hand.

There was never any reason to go near them I only had one mate with a dog.

To be honest I’m still quite scared of animals that are bigger than me. I use the same tatic as back then dont go near them.

Muke – why is your dogs tongue grey?

OP – just go with it but don’t encourage his fear (some parents are great at this) and he’ll probably grow out of it in his own time, especially once he starts at school and his new mates have got cats, dogs, hamster, etc.

I was apparently afraid of dogs at a young age, I do remember an incident where my aunts 2 german sheppards jumped her gate at our arrival, just to say hello, but when you’re 4 that’s a pretty scary experience!

My parents got a puppy not long after (I think my mother used me being scared as an excuse to persuade my dad!) and she was obsolutely brilliant, she’s long gone now – but I love animals now, so it definately worked with me.

Seems odd to cure a childs fear of pets by acquiring one. To commit yourself to 13 years of picking up crap in a plastic bag, every day, seems insane. At least the kids can use the toilet after a couple of years.

thanks all (well most of you) for the advice. Food for thought and we’ll keep trying to introduce him in a safe, controlled manner.

My son (now 4 years old) was born into a house with 3 cats and 2 dogs and is quite comfortable with them as you might expect.

Oddly, he is terrified of worms – not sure why. It is not as if he has been attacked by one (yet)

good luck introducing the dog. Cats can be a bit volitile but hopefully you may have a mate with a docile dog to introduce to your son.

Dogs are ace