Mrs B needs a joke to use in a job interview

  • This topic has 56 replies, 53 voices, and was last updated 4 years ago by  Tom B.
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  • Mrs B needs a joke to use in a job interview
  • Tom B
    Member

    So, Mrs B has a job interview as a teaching assistant on Thursday. My mum works at the school and has been asking a few of the recent recruits what sort of questions were asked in the interview….several of them were asked what their favourite joke was. So, not having a favourite joke, Mrs B needs your help.

    Her criteria when I suggested asking the STW massive….just a one liner, nothing racist 🙂 she doesn’t half make me laugh!

    drlex
    Member

    “Up until today, I always thought ‘career’ was a verb rather than a noun…”

    Flaperon
    Member

    Google “Tim Vine”. His one-liners are awesome.

    “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.”

    alfabus
    Member

    what is the difference between light and hard?

    you can sleep with a light on.

    billyboy
    Member

    Two cows in a field, one goes, “Mooo”, the other goes, ” You bastard, I was just about to say that.”

    Two ducks on a pond, one goes, “Quack”, the other goes, “You bastard, I was just about to easy that.”

    Two MPs submitting expenses claims, one goes, “Oink, Oink”, the other says, “You bastard………… etc

    jambourgie
    Member

    Man says to his wife: ‘Pack your bags, I’ve won the pools.’ She says: ‘What should I pack? Something light, something warm? Where are we going?’ He says: ‘We’re going nowhere. Just pack your bags and **** off.’

    Courtesy of Bernard Manning.

    Premier Icon nickc
    Subscriber

    What’s brown and sticky….

    Premier Icon fadda
    Subscriber

    A favourite for both me and my 8 y-o:

    Why are pirates called “pirates”?

    Dunno, they just Arrrrrrrrr….

    ebygomm
    Member

    Why did God only make one Yogi Bear?

    He tried to make another but he made a boo boo!

    Premier Icon Drac
    Subscriber

    A woman goes for a job interview, she couldn’t think of any jokes so got to her husband to ask on a bike forum.

    jblewi
    Member

    What’s the bare minimum?

    One bear!

    Polygamy–the art of parrot folding
    I’ve got very sensitive teeth–they’ll probably be upset I’ve told you

    Tom_W1987
    Member

    In her best Eastern European accent “How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.”

    I guarantee after that bit of casual racism, she’ll get the job.

    Premier Icon maccruiskeen
    Subscriber

    What’s brown and sticky….

    The aristocrats!

    edward2000
    Member

    Actual truth: My current boss commented in my interview that I had a lot of patience. I replied by comparing myself with a really good doctor….

    Premier Icon geoffj
    Subscriber

    Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share? (c) Dan Antopolski

    ninfan
    Member

    Little Billy’s class went on a trip to the fire station. The fireman firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: “Does anyone know what this is?”

    Little Billy’s hand shot up and the firefighter tells him to go ahead

    “Easy, That’s how Mummy knows dinner is ready!”

    brakes
    Member

    what’s the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?
    snow balls.

    tinribz
    Member

    How does one do well on a solution test?
    Concentration.

    Duffer
    Member

    Curtesy of Radio 4 this evening:

    ‘There are 11 kinds of people in the world; those who can understand Roman Numerals, and those who can’t.’

    project
    Member

    several of them were asked what their favourite joke was

    chance of con-dems winning the next election.

    mikewsmith
    Member

    How many Teachers/Civil Servants does it take to change a light bulb

    CHANGE!!!!! STRIKE!!!!

    richardk
    Member

    Who can shave ten times a day and still have a beard?
    A barber

    What is a pirates favourite shop?
    Arrrrgos

    etc

    Premier Icon GrahamS
    Subscriber

    Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    Ahdunnap

    the teaboy
    Member

    What do you get if you cross a snowman with a shark? Frostbite

    lemonysam
    Member

    Two teddybears in an airing cupboard, which one’s the solider?

    The one on the tank.

    What’s the second fastest food in the world?
    Meeeeeeerrrrangue

    What’s the fastest food in the world?
    Scone.

    dux
    Member

    What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop?

    Dr Dre

    You’re welcome.

    umop3pisdn
    Member

    What’s the most offensive kind of elf?

    A go **** yours-elf!

    boltonjon
    Member

    A dwarf complained to the Policeman that he had been pick pocketed

    The Policeman could believe anyone could stoop so low

    Gutterball
    Member

    What floats and goes quick?

    A South African duck.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    What’s the most common owl in the British Isles?

    The teat owl.

    timba
    Member

    My wife was sacked by a school for being cross-eyed. She couldn’t control her pupils

    Premier Icon bearnecessities
    Subscriber

    My wife’s an internet porn star.

    She’s going to be furious when she finds out.

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    What’s the difference between an egg and a ****?

    You can’t beat a good ****.

    egb81
    Member

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To see the ugly bloke

    Knock knock. Who’s there? The chicken.

    Premier Icon alibongo001
    Subscriber

    Apparently there has been an explosion at the alphabetti spagetti factory.

    ………….it could spell disaster!

    Premier Icon bartesque
    Subscriber

    How do you kill a circus?

    You go for the jugglar

    Premier Icon stevied
    Subscriber

    People in Egypt don’t like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dahbi do..

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