Apart from a couple of short years, I’ve cut my own hair with clippers for 20 years.

I’m no expert, but it’s passable for someone who’s not looking to stand out.

3 on the sides and back, 6 ontop. Blended down to 1 at the nape and round the ears.

I’m 100% sure the details would be better if a professional did it, but I’m not and never have been willing to lose all my free time waiting in a barbers.

I had a shower earlier and when I looked in the mirror after a few rubs with a towel I could swear it was Wetherspoons/Brexiteer-in-chief/Tesco-recruiter Tim Martin staring back at me.
Gulp!

I let my son have a go at mine last night under supervision from mum.

I have curly hair, shearers island, and ears like a london taxi. How bad could it be?

Not a total disaster, is the answer.

I don’t know what grades they are, the only clippers we could find have the cuts as mm, so we started at the longest (23mm) and it barely took anything off. Came back through 19, still almost nothing, then 15 at which point they realised that to get it to cut curly hair you need to approach in a few directions depending on how the curl is growing.

A technique that it would have been better to find out at 23 or 19.

We also then ran out of time so I have 2/3 done as the other 1/3 was done at 15 with bad technique and will need another going over.

Unless of course, the look for summer 2020 is the side mullet, business on the left, party on the right?

Nailed it.

My usual criteria is am I offered drugs in broad daylight.

yeah but… FREE sandwiches.

How long before we start self tattooing?

I got my 11 year old daughter to tidy up the wispy bits around the nape with a razor. She did a good job so let her loose with the kitchen scissors for a trim. She passed with flying colours. I’m 54 with a balding crown and going grey. I figured that as there’s only me and I’m working from home, then it didn’t really matter if she messed it up. Think of it as a trust building excercise!

I had a skinhead for years, so I have no problem returning to that style in a week or so.

My problem is that I now have a stubbly beard, which I’d quite like to keep. How does anyone decide where the beard ends and hair begins?

Normally use a beard trimmer on zero once a week on my head (MPB) , and keep a goatee trimmed to no3 . I haven’t shaved or clippered since the lockdown started, and today blended the goatee into a full beard. Son and his mates are having a mullet competition, so I clippered his into a mullet, and let him loose on mine. He did a V shaped mullet down the back, above the ears and down the sides, then cut the remaining Coco The Clown ring around the totally bald top into a sort of single chevron design. It looks utterly ridiculous and Mrs Scape is fuming.

Mind you, she’s only jealous ‘cos her hair grows outwards, not downwards, and she’s starting to look like Mad Madam Mim.

I’ve been toying with a number 4 all over for a while now as my hair is starting to thin a little, has anyone else noticed that clippers seem to have shot up in price since lockdown began! The right arse part of me is thinking it might be a last grasp grow it out lockdown after all!

How long before we start self tattooing?

Well, that’s how a tattooist starts…
Hair-wise, had mine cut just before the lockdown, and it’s pretty short these days anyway, so I’m contemplating giving it a whizz over with clippers. Beard I trim myself anyway. I’ve taken to wearing a bandana around the house now, just so I don’t have to bother trying to keep my hair tidy, or wear a hat out in the garden to stop the top of my head getting burned – large pieces of flaking skin falling off is never a good look!

Can only see two practical options for me (not sure me nor Zoe can be arsed faffing about with different combs and blending). Let it all grow out or clip it all over (number 2 or so). I’m a lazy sod at times, so option 1 is the most likely. Usually a ’90s punk throwback with a 2 back and sides and the top spiked…

Problem is, the last time I went down the 1st option route it ended up like this and not sure how that will go down again chez noise…

In other tonsorial news, I was pressganged into trimming a bit of Zoe’s ‘do today. Only a bit of tidying up and nothing drastic, but her her sister and mum, both (ex-)hair stylists proclaimed it ‘perfect’ so brownie points earned.

Scalp scalped, lockdown beard in full effect.

My hair naturally adopts the combed with a hedge look whatever I do. So that but a bit longer and more grey.