If doing the right thing is so great, then why do I feel so bad?

I’ve a wife and kids that need to come first

Very noble, but not once in your OP did you mention whether you’re happy in your marriage. The grass may – or may not – be greener on the other side, but it may well be green enough where you are now. Were you happy before this woman returned into your life?

You should only revisit your back catalogue when you are self-pleasuring. Never in person…

Worst. Fortune. Cookie. Ever.

No-one’s recommended he ‘bang her back doors in’ as he suspected 25% of us might do. Anyone like to oblige? I can’t even bring myself to say it in jest

Back door comments are instant ban fodder these days on victorian sensibities track world. As are any image of a lady or any comment which may have been used in a bawdy family entertainment show from the past. There are no free men…..we are all numbers 🙂

grass is greenest where you water it

Junky darling I think we are very different people.

I think we are actually more similar than you realise in outlook.

I dont try to provoke reaction though as being myself seems to get enough as it is …i shall let you decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing 😉

Tazzy old bean can I just point out that I don’t want you to top yerself chap.
Next time you head in the clwydians direction let me know if you fancy a bit of company

Do I get a prize for identifying the thread’s pyschopath?

Do I get a prize for identifying the thread’s pyschopath?

it’s Hora isn’t it. I knew he was suspect, he only changes bike so frequently to make sure the bloodatains and DNA get spread arounf the UK 😀

Thanks all,

Some sage advice here.

I’ll take it on the chin!

Do you love your wife?

It’s a simple question, and the answer to it should tell you what you should do.

I’ll take it on the chin!

what’s a blow job got to do with it?

I am such a dick. I’m a man in his mid 40’s sitting here sobbing and trying to to get the picture of her face out of my mind, and wondering why I still miss her so badly after 20+ years. What if she really was ‘the one’ and I let her go? I’ve a wife and kids that need to come first, but how can I face them if this is whats really going on inside me?

I’m the same just not quite 40. Everyone feels this about theings from their youth that were care free and new dont they?

you only live once ,**** what others think ,an do what u need to make u feel good/want ,your along time dead and that could happen tomorrow .first love is first love and nothing can match it

So-

yes, I do love my wife. And my kids. And marrying her was an easy decision. And yes, I would say that I’m generally happy, and she makes me proud, and she’s one of those people that everyone loves, respects and admires.

But.

(Its taken me about 30 mins to phrase this next bit correctly)
Yes, I’m sad to say that there are ways in which I would definitely wish she would behave differently. She can become very entrenched if she feels she is being asked to change herself, she takes it as an extremely personal insult.(I feel disloyal just typing this.) And its meant that there are certain areas where I just don’t feel like trying any more.

You can probably guess what I’m referring to in the main, but its become a more generalised attitude in the past few years.

With the ‘original’ woman (girl), there was none of this. In fact, ‘electric’ doesn’t even begin to get close to it. (Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me?)

This is all churlish of me though, and I don’t know if I should be bringing it up. Imagine this, though, and this is what really worries me: I’ve received some emails from the ‘original’ and I could almost have written them myself- language, turns of phrase, references, all that stuff. I just get her, straight away, with none of that tedious explanatory stuff. Its like she’s in my head.

I’m thinking though, that having written the above, maybe my marriage does need something. Its not been easy to admit that.

yes, I do love my wife. And my kids. And marrying her was an easy decision. And yes, I would say that I’m generally happy, and she makes me proud, and she’s one of those people that everyone loves, respects and admires.

So, you’ve answered your question. You are old enough to know that life isn’t perfect, people especially, but unfortunately the past is always perfect when we look back at it.

Enjoy the pain, count the scar, move on with your life.

Fek 😯
Whatever happens good luck man

Yeah, I think you’re right Tim. And I think that the things I’m maybe missing now are the things that were easier ‘back then’.

Thanks nonk.

try and imagine your life differently. believe me you can’t. there’s no point trying to, we live, we die, its what we do in between that defines us. i’ve been through similar and the only thing i can say is be honest with everyone, including yourself. what you are feeling now is called falling in love, its great innit? tell your wife, go for marriage counselling and talk it through, you never know, your wife might be nobbing someone else! good luck mr

sorry for the last remark, tho. when similar happened to me, i was out talking with a good friend about it over a few beers mostly, i’m not sure if it helped. i’m having one now, cheers to you sir

Thanks SPC. Did it work out for you?

well…its a slightly different situation to you, but yes and no…i’m now with someone who is almost my twin, but i’ve been stopped from seeing my kids for nearly 3 years, but i couldn’t stay in a pretend marriage, (she had an affair), so pro’s and con’s. yes i’m a lot happier in one way, but a lot sadder in another way, hence my comment about not being able to imagine your life differently…some times life moves on and we either move with it or not, you just have to try and make the best of it as you see it. (scuttles off to write a mills and boon).

I get you pal 🙂

good luck, and thanks for commenting

we went to marriage counselling, it really helped to clear my mind, i’d defo recommend it, tho it will mean coming clean with your wife, but if you want to continue being married, i think you owe it to her and yourself. secrets are bad for relationshps

I’m thinking right now that its the way to go SPC. Cheers (again).

Definitely try marriage counselling before giving up on your marriage for the sake of your kids if anyone…

Google Andrew Marshall

Divorce busters book is good

Good luck, I need some of that too!