If doing the right thing is so great, then why do I feel so bad?

I do like the way this has found it’s way into explanations of why some one chose to be selfish.

does acting in a way contrary to your want and needs make any more happier? or just give you a higher horse to sit on? You are born alone and die ultimately alone, why would you waste the bit in the middle not thinking of self?

to hide from difficult choices by claiming morality just makes you weak.

to hide from difficult choices by claiming morality just makes you weak.

You are Ayn Rand, and I claim my $5.

do like the way this has found it’s way into explanations of why some one chose to be selfish.

Why selfish?

Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.

and

Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be waiting for us in our graves – or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.

Jamie I do tend to see things from an objectivist perspective yes.

Dare I say that we all get sucked into some sort of Utopia, we’re livin’ the dream but, er, actually perhaps we’re not. Have a reality check.

Honesty is where it’s at.

So, can I have her number or wot?

Honesty is where it’s at.

Nah. It’s all about deceit, and getting away with it.

Tazzy always thinking of self never leads to being happy.
Building a stable home for the kids should make you happy .
Finding out the grass isn’t greener can make you unhappy etc etc
Only thinking of self based on arriving and leaving alone ? I think I would just top myself now and be done with I mean why bother

Do your promises mean anything? Being happy is all very well but not on the backs of others.
Has your married life been all bad? What have you done your to make your marriage the best it could be?
If you haven’t given it your all how do you know the next one will be better?
She wasn’t prepared to wait in the past, so you weren’t what she wanted. How do you know she wants you for anything other than a stop-gap before she decides that the grass elsewhere is greener?

“Tread carefully for you tread on your wife’s dreams”

In the end you have to look at your reflection each morning and be happy with your choices. Good luck with your decision.

To the OP can I ask, do you find her very sexually attractive also?

Nonk it’s about rational self intetest. You suggest my way of looking at life would lead to suicide or that I should kill myself. To me that just suggests that you have never really been confident or comfortable with yourself or your own descisns and seek affirmation through the eyes of others. Do you by any chance also follow a religion?

20yrs ago I ended someone. Thought about her alot but IF I liked her THAT much it wouldn’t have been 20yrs. You too OP.

Get over your mid life crisis and no its not an itch that needs scratching.

Dont hurt your partner.

If this woman liked you THAT much back then she would have kept her legs shut and not taken no for an answer from you.

Harsh but true.

20yrs ago I ended someone.

😯

Mate, I think you need to realise that your impression of her is based on things and memories from a long time ago, a form of escapism.

That time opportunity has passed, you’ve met another person, had a family lived a real life. ( these are filled with the grind of existence and the shine can fade) unlike your dream/ escapism. What I’m getting at is it won’t be bliss, you need to recognise this, really recognise this.

As if you do cross the Rubicon the your not going back to your current life your burning your bridges. I understand it must be terrible but it’s just a feeling you can control it and make it go away if you want.

Does your wife like threesomes?

20yrs ago I ended someone.

…and coincidentally, laid a new patio.

If this woman liked you THAT much back then she would have kept her legs shut and not taken no for an answer from you.

Harsh but true. Get over it or betray your wife and lose all the friends you share when you get caught, get in a fight with the cougars current husband, sob on a night when you realise its all gone wrong but its too late and your wife won’t have you back, end up with nothing.

Or it could work out

Interestingly nonk is the second person who’s told me I should top myself on stw in past couple of weeks…..do you and molgrips have shares in the samaritans? 😯

You suggest my way of looking at life would lead to suicide or that I should kill myself. To me that just suggests that you have never really been confident or comfortable with yourself or your own descisns and seek affirmation through the eyes of others. Do you by any chance also follow a religion?

no idea why you feel the need to do this sort of stuff regularly on STW

Often very funny but sometimes just rather odd, confrontational and some way from what i would term objectively rational

Interestingly nonk is the second person who’s told me I should top myself on stw in past couple of weeks…..do you and molgrips have shares in the samaritans?

Tazzy – you’re obviously a free spirit. Expect different reactions!

Junky darling I think we are very different people. I shall keep my personal opions off stw and just let others post theirs with no comment from me. I’d hate to muddy the waters with a different life view to the majority. Xxx 😀

I’m thinking we have all foolishly responded to a troll, the OP is absent from this thread..

Junky darling I think we are very different people. I shall keep my personal opions off stw and just let others post theirs with no comment from me. I’d hate to muddy the waters with a different life view to the majority.

I guess that should be passive-aggressive-objectiveness.

8)

I predict that if you go for it you will be happy for 6 months and then relaise you were better off where you are now. If you stay where you are now you will be miserable for a while and then realise you are better where you are now.
.
20yrs is a long time, yes you may want the girl she was 20yrs ago but she will be a very different person by now.

I’m thinking we have all foolishly responded to a troll, the OP is absent from this thread.

Hes probably analysing his hairline in the mirror whilst worrying that he isn’t great in bed and maybe pulling someone will make him feel virile again.

I’m thinking we have all foolishly responded to a troll, the OP is absent from this thread..

Troll or not, I can appreciate the effort they put into the first post.

Hes probably analysing his hairline in the mirror whilst worrying that he isn’t great in bed and maybe pulling someone will make him feel virile again.

Or he’ll start killing people to feel virile again, like you Hora.

20yrs ago I ended someone.

It seems others here have always suspected it. 😛

I’m thinking we have all foolishly responded to a troll, the OP is absent from this thread..

Dammit. Well at least someone googling ‘should I dump my wife for my ex’ will find this mine of info. If anything, we’ve provided a public service.

It’s Piemonster I feel sorry for. He’ll never get her number.

You have kids ?

Just put the mental picture in your head of you having to sit down and explain to them what you have done (if you do). That should be the biggest dose of wake-the-****-up from your current dreamlike state anyone should ever need.

Holster that cock OP. Close the leather strap over that sidearm.

Go home and pleasure your wife. Not someone else’s.

I may regret this, but do I assume Hora has a magnificent cock holster?

As druidh would note, she was one of the ones that come along that I could have easily married.

Can we not ask druidh?

Its beautiful!

OP, think of all the women there are in the world. D’you really think there are just 2 that you could be really happy with?

There are many who you could have many different but brilliant lives with but haven’t been looking for them have you?

If you have a problem at home sort it, otherwise MTFU 🙂

How good / bad is your marriage not considering the old flame?
If its well and truely already on the rocks?
Is it just in need of some attention?
Are you still in love with your wife?

Treasure what you have because it’s real and honest, not the memories of years ago. The Egyptians were right in thinking the heart was where all emotion etc. was because that’s where we tend to feel it most and in your case it must be horrible.
I can relate to your experience and suggest that no more contact is the best action, i think most of us discover as we get older there is no ‘perfect’. We have perfect moments and great times but not all the time because if we did they would be so great or perfect any more.
It’s your decision and i know the turmoil you must be going through but really look at what you have now and treasure that.

You should only revisit your back catalogue when you are self-pleasuring. Never in person…