How to Remove a Finger?

Training that I used to give for the firewood processor was mostly pointing out the bit that would remove your fingers quickly but leave them too frayed to reattach and the bit that would cleanly remove your fingers, very slowly.
Anywhere else you could pinch a finger would just cause it to double in size and leave you contemplating the first two options.

Fortunately no one lost a finger as I hate paperwork.

For the OP, I don’t know if it would help to be a tree surgeon as one that I know certainly didn’t wait that long to have his unfolded due to it affecting his ability to work.

Steal a small ornament on a visit to the Saudi embassy and they’ll do it there and then.

When I was at 2ndary school, one lad in my class went behind a lathe to open a window in the metalwork classroom.

He had a tie on 😖.

The lathe had a bar clamped in thr chuck with 5ft sticking out the back of the machine. It was turning.

Tie snagged on bar. Bar started winding in the lad at a rate of knots. He tried to grab his tie. Finger got wound in and torn off. He sounded like it stung quite a bit. Made a right mess to mop up through the school corridor too.

Luckily 2 of us saw what was happening and 1 hit the e-stop and the other opened the electric isolation switch. Could have been a whole lot worse. Would have been his neck 5 seconds later.

If you do try this method, make sure the lathe is being used for something slow like knurling or thread cutting. Not a 2000rpm finishing pass, to make sure it’s only your chosen finger that gets it.

thestabiliser
Free Member
You need a rabbit called Norman. They sewed my middle finger back on, but mr consistent, old Norman, kept going and got the index the following week. Again sewn back on but very neatly degloved apparently.

So, could you conceal this in the waiting area of A&E and work away until it falls off… then head to the receptionist trailing blood. I think you’d get to the front of the queue. Plus a free mental health assessment.

Sit on it for 20 mins beforehand and it’ll feel like you’re cutting someone else’s finger off.

So if you sit on both hands it should feel like someone else is cutting off someone else’s finger!

You need a rabbit called Norman. They sewed my middle finger back on, but mr consistent, old Norman, kept going and got the index the following week. Again sewn back on but very neatly degloved apparently.

🤢

Sit on it for 20 mins beforehand and it’ll feel like you’re cutting someone else’s finger off.
So if you sit on both hands it should feel like someone else is cutting off someone else’s finger!

🤣 👍🏼

How valuable are you to your work?

Arrange someone to kidnap you, drug you and send your finger to work with a ransom note. Get a few days off work sat in a short let flat drinking and playing cards with some Albanian fellers before the money is delivered in untraceable tenners. Share with Albanians. Return to work a hero but needing a few weeks off to get over it. Sorted!

While theres some humour in speculating on what method, but in all seriousness, such a diy operation could result in sepsis, and maybe the loss of a whole lot more.

I know, I’m such a spoil sport.

I am retired so am no longer of any economic benefit, I am a little bit sensible and if I chose to do the op I would try and sterilise the tools and even see if I can find a instruction book and a parts of the body chart.

I keep seeing this thread and mulling it over.

You want plenty of skin to wrap over the end, so slice around the last section of useable skin, peel back the good skin towards the hand by 3/4 of an inch or an inch – I guess you probably need to cut down lengthways as well to make it easier. Going back a step, a tourniquet (zip tie) is probably a good idea. And turn your soldering iron on, clean your tools, clear your garage worktop a bit, go for a wee etc.

After you’ve got your skin flapped back, cut 1/2 inch back from where you cut the skin. slice through all the soft bits, cauterise bleedy bits with the soldering iron then get your dremel or hacksaw out ( I think I’d go for the hacksaw, personally* – medium tooth for wood, plastic etc – treat yourself to a new blade, why not, and clean it beforehand) and get through the bone. Rinse, spritz of IPA (not the beer). Flap the skin back, make good. I’ve got some sharp new flush cut snips I’d use to cut the skin so it joins neatly. Probably use more of the palm side, less of the back. I’d probably glue rather than stitch, as I’d be doing it one-handed, and I’d probably have had enough of the whole thing by then anyway. Hopefully the finger in question is on my left hand, because I think my right hand is a better surgeon.

Have a drink and a sit down, mop up, then drop into minor injuries to check my work.

*Maybe a bandsaw if I had one. Harder to clean beforehand, though… And after.

If I was to try this DIY (pretty sure I wouldn’t, but I understand how desperate someone might get), I would anaesthetise with lignocaine, then put the finger under tension and keep jabbing the tendon with a large surgical needle.
However, I’m a coward and can only imagine what might go wrong.

An ex-colleague slipped and slid down a roof and caught his wedding ring on the metal guttering just before he went over the edge. That did the job. It did greatly increase the length of the tendon though, which was like a bungy. Fourth finger though, not pinky.

Struggled forever after with washing his face as the water would go straight out through the consequent gap.

Home surgery hilarity aside, I’ve just done a bit of reading on Dupuytren’s syndrome. Sounds shit.

Sorry @Bruce, hope you find a way of resolving/reducing soon.

One of my mate’s dad had this issue, but on both hands, and it was really getting him down as it really limited what he could manage to do, and he kept injuring them more getting them caught on things.

Bruce where are you based?

If Fife/Edinburgh, my dad got his Carpal Tunnel operated on by this group https://fifevirtualhandclinic.co.uk/ (he was referred to them due by the NHS due to waiting list times, so didn’t pay for it)

They’re Fife based, but my Dad got operated on in Spire Shawfair, and said the surgeon done a far better job than the NHS one did on his other hand.

@nedrapier It’s a inconvienience at the moment and thinking of the physical and mental challenges that some of the other forum members face, it’s not something I am going to get massively down about.

Thanks @MC thanks for the information, I am based in Manchester but there is a Spire hospital just up the road.

If you’d like more info on Dupuytren’s the British Dupuytren’s Society is a useful resource

Home

DOI: consultant hand surgeon (Sheffield & Rotherham)

For some reason I thought that you were based north of the border.

A quick google for “Hand Clinic Manchester” has thrown up a few results, one of which is based in a Spire hospital.

Thanks @mc I might not live north of the border but I have just come back from camping and cycling in the Great Glen and we are about to go to Plockton and Skye to go sea kayaking.

We absolutely love Scotland and go as often as possible.

You want plenty of skin to wrap over the end…

That would mean we’d miss out on the sequel thread: DIY skin grafts – how do I do it?

But yes, sorry to hear of your bother  Bruce.

@tinytim that’s a really useful resource thanks.

Thanks @tinytim that link will be great to get some perspective and solid information.:)

I haven’t read the rest of this thread but have you tried a lawnmower? RIP @merlinman

Hi Simon

We Don’t have one 🙂

Have fun at LeMans.