How to Remove a Finger?

I have just been on the phone about an appointment to have something done about my Dupuytren’s contracture,  apparently the waiting time for an appointment is 58 weeks.

Can anybody give any advice on home finger amputation as this would seem to be the best method of resovling the problem?

Disc brake rotor is the preferred method of the forum, not sure I’d recommend it though.

Sir Ranulph Fiennes Will have some advice.

I recommend WERA tools, or PB Swiss, Park simply doesn’t cut it anymore.

A climbing mate had this. He paid to go private on this due to the wait as his job involves rope access and other safety critical stuff at height.  Anyway, the op went very well and he has full movement and is back climbing at a high level again.

https://www.wpi-europe.com/products/microdissection/surgical-instruments/surgical-accessories/other-surgical-accessories/rodent-guillotine.aspx#productlistitem4293

Was thinking about using the secateurs , they have good power and are quick.

A mechanic I worked with amputated the tip of his index finger when he absent-mindedly spun the rear wheel backwards on a fixed gear bike when he was checking the chain tension.

His finger got caught between chain and chainring.

Carelessly lube the chain on an in gear running motorcycle. Place finger on the underside of the upper run of the chain, near the rear sprocket.

As above, garden shed, vice and electric fretsaw was the Ranulph Fiennes approach I believe.

No personal experience of success as my two (what an idiot) attempts with my grandads old folding knife where only flesh wounds.

My dad was more successful, he used the dodgy guard on a table saw method.

One of my uncles used the get careless a the back of a bin lorry method.

In both cases carrying out the procedure in the workplace meant paid leave and potentially a bit of a payout.

My mum just went for the casual leave a digit in a slamming door method but that was just the last joint of a thumb, we found the amputated piece a week later stuck in the door catch.

Spinning bike wheel and attempting to stop it by inserting finger through the spokes. A friend did that at school.

Maybe best to just have the tendon sliced and reattached though.

Quick google looks to be around £3k for the surgery & physio etc.

I am a bit perturbed that in 58 weeks for a first look, I will loose the ability to ride my bike and paddle my kayak. So it’s self surgery or private which I probably can’t afford.

Cigar guillotine – works a treat, so my enforcer tells me.

Whatever method WCA would use.

Self surgery is the way forward.

I used to have a little bit of a lisp so I read that the little bit of skin under the tongue being too tight can cause it so I cut it one evening with tin snips.

Those little polyp things you sometimes get on your neck used to bother me too, so I tied nylon cotton around  the 2 of them (separately) and pulled tight to cut them off,  bled like mad mind you.

Done a bit of teeth repair/DIY veneer too but that’s another story.

If anyone needs me help just let me know.

I don’t eat the bits of flesh I cut off or anything. Im not even German. 

Tourniquet will kill the finger but you’d still need to cut through the bone 🤮

We use battery powered hydraulic cutters to cut cable at work, would make short work of a finger and are pretty quick.

I have a knackered little finger and was told it was ‘cosmetic’ and the Drs refused to do anything.

I then asked what the process ‘would be’ to amputate it and they refused to tell me.

I then asked what type of ‘injury’ would remove my little finger with the best recovery and least long term damage and again they refused to answer and asked me to leave the hospital.

If you do get a decent answer then please ping me and I probably will give it a go.

Heras fencing and a wedding worked well for someone I knew……..

For a more natural approach, try the Terry Nutkins method. Find a cheeky otter and give it a stroke. Thought will need to go into ensuring the correct finger is nibbled.

I would just go with something fast. I’ve worked with guys who’ve used powersaws and an industrial extractor fan – it’s basically over before you know what happened, although it does sting a bit afterwards, apparently. Despite what they tell you when you’re a kid, cake mixers won’t actually take the finger off, they’ll just make it hurt quite a lot, don’t try that unless it’s a massive industrial one.

Whatever method WCA would use.

Given WCA’s record I’d hesitate to call it a method. Equally, given WCA’s record he could probably lose a finger putting the bins out or something. Opening a cereal box. Restringing a ukelele (that might take an eye out too)

I like the idea of the otter method but I have only ever seen otters in Shetland, Mull, Skye, and Trefor. So locating an otter might be a problem and I might be a bit nervous of handling an enraged otter.

Angle Grinder.

A metal bar, a rope and a spooked horse was very efficient for a friend of mine. Surprisingly little bleeding considering she lost the top of 3 fingers.

Might also add that the Banshees of Inisherin provides a helpful guide.

Try asking over at http://www.yakuzatrackworld.com

Away from the donkey is my suggestion.

There is an injection to dissolve the collagen build up in the tendon sheath. I looked a this years ago in lieu of surgery (in a professional not patient capacity). It was eventually licensed as Xiaflex(TM), which I thought remarkable. On that basis, why not spare the amputation and just inject some dishwasher cleaning tablet into your hand*?

(*Please don’t).

OP

Join your local Yakuza group and tell them you are Yubitsume curious.

You won’t feel a thing.

edit>>,damn you devash for taking advantage of my slow typing<< edit 😉🤣

Carelessly lube the chain on an in gear running motorcycle. Place finger on the underside of the upper run of the chain, near the rear sprocket.

I didn’t think motorbikes had a reverse gear (aside from a Goldwing?)

aside from a Goldwing

which doesn’t have a chain.

Arctic holiday and this until frost bite kicks in?

My wait has been much less but I keep putting it off, it’s my little finger that’s gone curly which fortunately matches my handlebar grip, about 70′ of curl I think. I may have it done over winter so I can ride over this summer. Keeps getting caught when I put my hand in my pocket and I now give Freemason like handshakes.

Table saw or chop saw, nice fine disc for masonry, not a rough wood cutting disc.

Source A Prayer for Owen Meaney by John Irving.

I like the idea of the otter method but I have only ever seen otters in Shetland, Mull, Skye, and Trefor. So locating an otter might be a problem and I might be a bit nervous of handling an enraged otter.

We saw otters last weekend at a zoo in Telford. There were two of them having a huge fight about who got to go in the favourite hidey hole. I could easily imagine the biggest problem is making sure they only took your finger and not the whole arm. Maybe try something a bit safer like a lion or tiger.

Ask Walter.

Get in touch with this guy, just make sure you specify it’s your finger, like be really, really specific

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-68977469

If you try this yourself, chances are you’ll not do the job cleanly enough, you’ll likely flinch. It will have to be a hard quick strike, with something extremely sharp and weighty.

Oh and its going to really really hurt 😆

Powered saws dont cut off digits cleanly, makes a right bloody mess. Seen a number of saw and spindle moulder accidents to know thats whats left looks like burst hamburger*.

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A meat cleaver will cut it off, but they smash through the bone and its far from clean. I’d happily volunteer here, but its years since i used one, so my aim might be a bit off.

Then of course theres the infection issue, which could lead to serious complications, loss of the remainder of the limb, or worse.

And you cant just cut it off and stick an elastoplast on it. Chances are again you’ll end up with it being infected and well that is likely to be an emergency state of affairs.

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It’s a wait to be done by a surgeon, but I’d wait.

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* Spindle moulder accident, so you can see despite the cutter being very sharp and moving at 8000 rpm it makes a hell of a mess. Sure most of it gets vapourized, but the end bit is ragged, so please dont try to use a powertool.

https://www.ukworkshop.co.uk/threads/nature-of-the-game-warning-this-post-contains-graphic-images-of-a-hand-injury.146419/

My own little accident involving a metal planer(shaping machine) and finger left a hell of a mess.