From a recent post on another site…

I’ve seen a lot of posts covering mental health and well-being, especially in the context of COVID-19. Personally, I have life long mental health conditions and it is a reality that impacts each and every day. I know me, I know my disability and while this fluctuates I know what (generally) works. I believe the reason for the increase in ‘screen time’, for mental health is a good thing. There will be those who are experiencing these challenges for whom the promoted material may be beneficial. I also think raising awareness has never been as crucial as it is now. But I also have a caveat, not all those currently experiencing these difficulties are going through this for the first time, and while online information is often posted with good intentions, perceptions may differ. People with long term conditions will be familiar with such concepts or strategies, and may use them. Equally, some promoted theorems can actually cause difficulties in certain cases. My point is this, please don’t think that things can always be ‘fixed’, or if you can’t relate, it’s not real, but rather look out for those around you, show genuine interest and display human empathy, simply put, listen without prejudice, it will be appreciated.

Interesting to read this thread. I’ve really struggled and while I know rationally I am entitled to complain/voice it I am very reticent as frankly my worries are at the minor end of what the general population is going through. I’ve struggled with anxiety and general confidence all my life but generally manage to keep it under control. I’ve got an incredible family and a very strong relationship which helps but this whole situation has me bottling up some properly epic worries which I struggle to keep a lid on. Work has been overwhelming frankly and the 11-13h days 5 days a week has really killed me in the last couple of months. Ironically in March/April it was easier as in the moment of crisis we could get a bit more space during the day and was just getting by. Now in steady state its just full on pressure and everything I’m doing is not enough. Crushing. I’m lucky as frankly I could not work and be financially fine hence my reluctance to discuss this with people. However, saying that and taking the leap is tough. But we are healthy and managing to remain mostly sane as a family. And as I said , many many people have it much worse. But it still keeps me awake every night from about 3-4am , every, single, night.

Globalti have you talked to your GP at all? Could you get a break from the bungalow somehow? Maybe a stay in a nice cosy b and b for a few days just resting and spoiling yourselves? I know it’s harder with covid but maybe a few days away from the hellhole could give some clarity? If the house is making you this unhappy then can you sell it when the build is done and move closer to your family in something smaller? It’s not a failure to admit defeat it’s just a building and your happiness is more important than saving face.

Good thread, and good advice from nzcol. I’m generally in a good place, healthy new baby 4 months old, eldest started school and is settling nicely, middle one started nursery school and she’s loving it, new job for me which is really exciting. Even so I feel my mood fluctuate lots day to day. Tiredness from 3 young kids, learning a new job, and an ongoing issue with the house which is very stressful are the underlying things. Add on covid and the darker nights and it’s clearly understandable. Much better place than the start of the year though.
I’m just trying to talk about how I feel, be open, trying to get as much sleep as I can (never enough!) And set small goals – get a little bit achieved each day and feel good about it.

Hope everyone else finds the support they need and together we can put smiles back on faces and lift our spirits!

Not great I must admit. In the process of buying a house which has dragged on for months and may fall through any day now, also supposed to be sitting professional exams over the next month and preparing for these and may have to move house the same week as my interview. Coupled with the busiest period I’ve ever known at work and lots of uncertainty in the media about Brexit and Covid.

I think it’s the amount of things going on at once that gets to people – it becomes too much to think about at once.

I had a pretty major mental health blip a few weeks ago resulting in the local NHS crisis team being called on my behalf and I’ve been getting some good support from them and now a CBT programme which is definitely helping, but it’s slow/unsteady progress sometimes.

Nowhere near as bad as some but I lost almost all of my work this summer and looking like next as well. Guess I need to retrain in cyber. 😛 Got some money from the SEISS but it was pretty meagre as I normally earn the vast majority of my year’s income in summer and what I received was based on an average over 3 years. Now going into winter where I often struggle and feel quite disconnected, except this time I have no money built up, and haven’t really been socialising at all.

Have had to give up a lovely flat in Glasgow and move back in with my mum in Cumbria, with partner and three kids in tow – luckily she has plenty of space and has been really kind. Then throw in having three kids at home throughout lockdown, one of whom has some fairly high level special needs, and the two girls having an utter disgrace of a man as a father, my mum’s neuroses, my existing underlying anxiety and depression, my partner shielding/in the highest risk category due to an organ transplant…

It’s not been super fun times though we’ve eaten like kings, and it’s been great for my mum to see our 1 year old boy grow up.

Doing a bit better now with some CBT help, and trying to get back into doing stuff I enjoy with planning/structuring etc but it feels like hard work most days TBH. Constantly exhausted. I really struggle with phone/zoom calls, they make me quite anxious, so I feel quite cut off from people really. Too much time online reading about horrific politicians and ignorant people, I worry about the world I have brought my boy into. 🙁

@globalti you need to get some help – GP is first port of call. Please please please do it, however bad things are you don’t need to carry on feeling like that. I’ve been there.

Please don’t do anything silly globalti, this thread shows we all care for on another and even when we are at our lowest someone will reach out and help.

This time last year you all helped me through the hardest day of my life
singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/im-in-need-of-some-support-from-you-lot-sad-content-im-afraid

I still get strength from it

Heyup Ton, sorry for your recent loss.

Hope everyone else is heading in the right direction.

I feel incredibly lucky really. Work is busier than ever, daughters are all good, house extension nearly finished and just got two new bikes (well one I ordered back in March).

Was away most weekend in the moho, but thats fallen on its arse now after tier 3.

All in all I feel very very lucky. Keep on keeping on you guys.

NZCol life is too short to waste with stress, really it is. If you have the option to quit your job then do it.

On a much lesser scale – I was young and single – I was working a job I absolutely hated, but it paid well. There were redundancies, and I got made redundant, it was November IIRC. I got the chat in the morning as I got into work, so I got back on the train and went home. Then I changed out of work clothes and decided to walk over to my mate’s house as she was also off work. It was a nice walk, and a lovely day, and despite the fact I was now in financial peril about half way there I was overcome with absolute elation that I wasn’t going back to that place. I found another job, I managed, I went on to much better work eventually, but I still remember the absolute profound joy I felt that day, 20 years later. We fall into these shit situations and we don’t realise how much they weigh us down, but they do.

NZCol life is too short to waste with stress, really it is. If you have the option to quit your job then do it.

Agree. I did this a couple of years ago and it was amazing to reflect back on what I had been putting up with. Unfortunately current job seems to be heading the same way but that’s life.

@globalti- I have been there myself more than once in the past and I know how it feels but it will pass. Please talk to your dr. Take care.

Struggling a bit here.

As per a load of the above posts I don’t really have any right to moan, so many people have things so much worse than I do but it is tough going right now.

On the positive side, my job can be done from home and people are buying what we are selling so that doesn’t seem to be a worry, but on the negative side I don’t take well to working or being on my own, I much prefer going to the office and having real conversations with people face to face. I had a job previously where I was able to work 4 days a week condensed hours, WFH or in the office on my own and I left that job within the year as it was not good for me mentally. Now I have not been to the office since I think February and we are not allowed back until at least early next year. I’m also working on something fairly new with no real deadlines to work to in the short term so its hard to get motivated on that front.

I also got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis around July time and am starting out on the treatment for that. Previously I would go running 3 or 4 times a week, hit the gym, go swimming, hiking, all sorts as I’ve always been a bit of a restless hyperactive kind of guy, and along with that I’ve always been a bit of a big drinker. Now, between the arthritis and the medication to treat it I am unable to do any form of exercise beyond walking the dog on a good day, and then I cant drink anything at all for a few months while I get used to the tablets, tablets that have me feeling sick from Sunday night through to maybe Tuesday morning each week, then pretty shattered most of Tuesday. On the positive side here they doctors say the tablets are working and on some days I feel pretty normal, but then on other seemingly random days I struggle to even pick up the kettle to make a cup of tea. When the days that are bad from a symptoms perspective overlap with the days where I am feeling sick and tired things are pretty grim. Apparently the process of getting the medication settled and things becoming stable takes between 3 and 6 months so not endless, but long enough that the short term outlook isn’t to exciting.

Now I write this down it all feels pretty trivial, especially compared to the people above who have real stresses and would kill to just have boredom to deal with but it is getting to me far more than being under stress seemed to

We fall into these shit situations and we don’t realise how much they weigh us down, but they do.

So true

Interesting how every contributor to this thread plays down their problems.

My GP put me on Finasteride to shrink my prostate while awaiting a urology appointment but now I’ve found a testicular lump, which the GP has diagnosed over the phone as an epididymis infection. He has given me a week course of Doxy, which you have to take then sit upright for an hour to protect your aesophagus. Despite this I can feel the return of the old heartburn, which I had sorted up to now. GP will examine the lump next Monday. The side effect of living all day in a state of severe stress with a HR hovering in the 80s plus the Finasteride is the disappearance of any interest in sex, I’m unable to get an erection and I believe the cessation of ejeculation has caused the build up of semen, which has become infected. So in the urinary department things are very bad.

A known side-effect of antibiotics like Cipro and doxy especially in over 60s is that they massively increase the likelihood of ruptured tendons especially Achilles. On day 1 I woke up with renewed tennis elbow, an old recurring problem. Fragile tendons at the last thing I need when we are about to move into this accursed new house.

I’m into my third week on Mirtazapine, which helps my mood but doesn’t prevent anxiety and stress especially as I’m bored and sit on the sofa all day with nothing to do. At least I’ve got the mice beaten but the place still stinks of mouse piss. The forecast is now for unrelenting rain for the next 10 days.

I remain convinced that selling our lovely house in Lancashire and embarking on this Scottish project has been a monumental error. It has burned up almost all our money. So far Mrs GTi and I have rubbed along as two people sharing the same house in need of company but yesterday after I wavered in my committment in a meeting with the builder she lost it in a big way, I’ve never seen her so angry.

Now GTi junior stuck in halls at MMU is showing signs of depression. He wanted to come home last weekend and could have done if we had still been in Lancashire. If he shows up here, neighbours will dob us in to the Police as they have already with other newcomers. We don’t know what will happen at Christmss, Mrs GTi clings to the belief we will be in the house but we’ve got to get it finished, get moved in and now there’s a fear that our possessions are going mildewey stuck in a cold damp sea container. How I rue the fact that in march we failed to stop this ill-conceived project to build a too large ostentatious house amongst modest neighbours who have lived here for many generations.

Honestly if I could cease to exist without causing massive distress to my family and friends I would happily take the option.

How am I doing? Awful and I wake up crying every morning and wonder if today will be the day it pluck up courage to finish it. Honest answer.

@FFJA – so sorry to hear this. Pls do get some help.

https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/mental-health-services/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/

I’ve found my local crisis team really good and they’ve put me onto some CBT help. Life is still a struggle tbh but I’m back from the brink hopefully.

Get someone else to call them if you can’t face it.

@globalti same goes for you, are you getting any mental health help at the moment?

Thanks @grum

@FFJA – I remember the thread you posted after you got flooded and how many people were rooting for you, and we still are. It takes a lot of bravery even to post up on here how you’re feeling. Is there anyone in the village you can chat to or ask to pop up and say hi in person?

The local surgery website does have a direct number for a crisis team, and, if you felt able, I’m sure they, or just your local GP, would be able to offer a stackload of support.

Best wishes

Martin.

I/we as a family are generally doing well.

The good

Partner and I were designated as key workers so continued through lockdown on a pretty normal basis.

Managed to get away for a week during the Summer and have just came back from a week on the Isle of Lewis.

The bad
Oldest daughter has had CoVid she is through the worst of it but has some post viral fatigue.
Travelling back from Lewis we have came into close contact with someone who has tested positive and the Protect Scotland App has told us to self isolate.

Could be a lot worse, stay safe everyone.

I’ve been put on Mirtazapine and I’m seeing a therapist privately once a week.

A few weeks ago the GP put me on Finasteride to shrink my prostate. Semen production has stopped and now I have a painful lump on the left testicle for which I’m on doxy, the lump is probably stale infected semen. Doxy has a bad reputation for causing tendinitis and tendon ruptures especially in over 60s. This morning I have the familiar burn of tendinitis in both knees, both elbows and a wrist. The effect lasts 6 months from day 2 of the course and mid December we are supposed to be moving into a new house.

If I want married with a child I would also be contemplating ending my life now.

globalti that sounds undoubtedly shit, sorry fella. I’m glad you are getting help though

I’m really struggling today too, difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My job is totally **** for the foreseeable future (wedding and event photographer) and savings are disappearing. Guess I’ll have to fight for shitty zero hours delivery jobs along with everyone else.

Not as bad as some of you but I’m just in a state of constant irritation.

Got a lot on work n home wise but it’s now getting to me.

It’s all toss.

Does anybody else get this? You only sleep a couple of hours a night and when you drift off on the sofa you get a minute or two of snoring before waking with a jerk with the horrible realisation that nothing has changed and life is still shite. So dozing becomes something you try to avoid.

Came on here to have a bit of a moan then realised I have nothing at all to moan about. Stay safe everyone and although it’s tough for some of you right now it will get better.

Interesting how every contributor to this thread plays down their problems.

you know I noticed this too and it’s really not helpful. That sort of thought process lead me to some dark places a few years back and bizarrely I’m probably now one of the people that others compare themselves to (se earlier in the thread for details) and I don’t really understand why.

I suppose people have difficulty in accepting that their problems and real and impact them directly. Your problmes are no less real just because someone else is having a harder time than you.

Am I allowed to say on this thread that eveythings is fine thanks?

Feel for those going through a tough time though 🙁