Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 96 total)
  • HELP – how do fix this in the next 2 hours?!?
  • brakes
    Free Member

    The marble coffee table broke itself somehow…. and I’d like to keep my dangly bits intact.
    Can it be glued/resined back together?

    leffeboy
    Full Member

    Can it be glued/resined back together?

    I believe that superglue will work…

    ..for your dangly bits.

    For the table I would guess that 5he marble us glued to the wood.  You would need to glue another wooden frame underneath to support the marble (obviously stop short of the edge of the marble).

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    Can it be glued/resined back together?

    Probably.

    Properly? By an amateur? in the next 2 hours?

    No chance.

    cloudnine
    Free Member

    White sikaflex and some sash clamps

    eddiebaby
    Full Member

    #pray4brakesballs

    jimdubleyou
    Full Member

    I was expecting some small crack or something, not the complete smashing of legs etc.

    I reckon you’ll be hard pressed to fix that at all, let alone in two hours.

    Maybe the marble can be fixed but it will need to be supported a lot more.

    Tenuous
    Free Member

    Do you have a cat you can blame?

    thisisnotaspoon
    Full Member

    I would un-mount the marble from the ‘table’ bit, cut a bit of 18mm ply to a size/shape that supports it as well as possible without being too visible from the room and paint it black or white so it doesn’t stand out. Then epoxy the marble onto the ply. Still leaves you with the wooden table to fix, and TBH you might just be better finding a table you like at ikea/british heart foundation/wayfair and building it onto that as I’m guessing it’s quite heavy if it’s collapsed once!

    null

    leffeboy
    Full Member

    Edit: too slow, tinas beat me to it but that’s exactly what I would try

    thepurist
    Full Member

    Wasn’t there a yellow pages ad along this theme?  Think that was for French polishers before the parents got home IIRC?  So, first step is to get your copy of the yellow pages out of the recycling where you chucked it 6 months or more ago

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    Think that was for French polishers before the parents got home

    Bloody foreigners! Coming over here and fixing our tables in an emergency!

    whitestone
    Free Member

    Call Mr Wolf?

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    I was expecting some small crack

    It sounds quite large if your balls are up for the chop.

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    Come on this needs explaining? Changing lightbulb?

    Breaking the top AND the legs?!

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    The proper answer is to kick the front door in, trash the lounge and donate the VCR and TV to a passing transit van driver, then claim a break in.
    Graffiti for added je ne sais quoi.

    retro83
    Free Member

    jimdubleyou

    Subscriber

    I was expecting some small crack or something, not the complete smashing of legs etc.

    I reckon you’ll be hard pressed to fix that at all, let alone in two hours.

    He doesn’t need to fix it perfectly, just well enough that it holds until somebody else touches it thus providing plausible deniability.

    martinhutch
    Full Member

    Has your carpet got a massive weave or is the table really, really small?

    mrmonkfinger
    Free Member

    broke itself somehow

    my kids say that

    its never true

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    The table is just far away compared to normal. Its throwing the perspective?

    globalti
    Free Member

    Is it a doll’s house table or a giant carpet?

    martinhutch
    Full Member

    my kids say that

    its never true

    He was just riding along on it.

    Houns
    Full Member

    It’s very small or that’s a very big jumper you’ve laid it on

    mrmonkfinger
    Free Member

    Has your carpet got a massive weave or is the table really, really small?

    how did I miss that?

    it’s from the dolls house he’s absolutely not supposed to play with

    maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    The table looks to be designed to fail to me – you’d have your work cut out getting those legs back on in a way that’s as strong as they were but they weren’t strong enough to start with. The top is too heavy and overhangs too much

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    A big boy done it and ran away.

    dangeourbrain
    Full Member

    null

    maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    providing plausible deniability.

    Deniable plausibility

    martinhutch
    Full Member

    it’s from the dolls house he’s absolutely not supposed to play with

    So, in summary, he was resting his dangly bits on a dolls house table and it broke?

    #dayoffrecreation

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    I believe that superglue will work…

    ..for your dangly bits.

    Nope you’d need Bostick for that

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    Add a pricetag.

    £150,000 should be about right for such a piece

    martinhutch
    Full Member

    Nope you’d need Bostick

    Pri** Stick, surely?

    alibongo001
    Full Member

    The legs will fix – probably just stripped the thread – sugru can help with that part

    wooden picture frame support as above is best for the marble. Clamp it tight to get the best fix, then use some crayon of an appropriate colour to fill in any gaps – might be able to make it look like the marbling?

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    Copydicks might work in a pinch.

    mrmonkfinger
    Free Member

    1h 37m remaining.

    Tick.

    Tock.

    flicker
    Free Member

    The proper answer is to kick the front door in, trash the lounge and donate the VCR and TV to a passing transit van driver, then claim a break in.
    Graffiti for added je ne sais quoi.

    Also the perfect time to smash any of the wife’s ornaments that you secretly hate….

    Houns
    Full Member

    +1 blame the cat. If you don’t have a cat then go buy one quick sharpish

    sharkbait
    Free Member

    Hide the table and deny all knowledge of its existence.

    Onzadog
    Free Member

    Remove the table and any pictures it ever existed. Remove the receipt and any other evidence.

    Ignore the fact it’s not there. When the wife asks about it, casually deny it ever existed. If pressed, suggest she must be thinking of someone else’s house and imply she might be losing the plot.

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    I’m not sure a pricetag on its own will be enough.

    Do you have any velvet rope?

    maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    Also the perfect time to smash any of the wife’s ornaments that you secretly hate….

    I think he’s way ahead of you on that front

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 96 total)

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