Right Click and choose Hide Table from the drop down menu?

Looking on the bright side, when did she last voluntarily mess with your balls?

Right Click and choose Hide Table from the drop down menu?

Surely: Copy upper row, delete lower row, paste upper row = good as new?

Did sharkbait really beat me to that suggestion while I was typing?

Right Click and choose Hide Table from the drop down menu?

Edit> Undo

Did it not ship with a spare crown race?

Edit> Undo

Ctrl Z

Never mind the table, that can be replaced.  The important thing is that everyone who was shagging on the table isn’t hurt..

No chance, Jim’s been dead over eight years. 😉

1hour to go…

[url=https://flic.kr/p/2is4LtP]table[/url] by Matthew Hampshire, on Flickr
best i could do given the short turn around time

Excellent job, you’ve ruined the carpet though.
Just tell Mrs brakes it was only occasionally a table.

And you’ve straightened out the frankly abysmal bracket placement

Come on OP, give us an update! Are you a Borrower or is there something wrong with the warp (or weft) in your carpet, are your balls still attached, how did you break the tiny/normal sized table? So many questions and less than an hour to go.

I’m telling you. Lightbulb changing gone wrong.

What odds will you give me?

If i am wrong I will put a fiver in the mountain rescue tin.

Your balls are toast – just bin the table and hope she doesn’t notice it’s gone…

Inspired by the photos…

Cut it in half and rest it against a mirror.

Come on OP, give us an update!

Good effort .
Next time ,do your naked yoga on the mat.
😉

hi.
don’t worry.
I’m ok.
my voice is a little higher though….

Oh come on!

How did you do it?

Was it a full sized table or miniature?

Bah, too late! Was going to suggest putting it behind the front door, then when she came..smash…”what the hell did you do that for?!”

I think the OP’s username is spelled wrong…

It’s ok she’s hated the ugly table since you brought it home .

You’ll get to buy her a new one

I quickly realised the following:
– I wasn’t going to ever be able to fix it so it was like new
– I wasn’t going to ever be able to fix it in any shape of form in 2 hours
– The cat (Carlos) is the King of the house and so it would still be my fault if he had been to blame, and worse as I had endangered the King*
– The table leg had been broken before…. AHAH….

….. yes, the boy had jumped on the table about 6 months ago when it was new and ripped one of the insert nuts out of the legs. So there was a weak point and I just gently moved the table, the leg collapsed, tipped over and the top snapped (your honour) /case closed.
The boy, bless him, added to his guilt by smashing a glass on the kitchen floor shortly before mrs brakes came through the door.

I’ve still got to fix the crappy thing temporarily until we can get a replacement so thanks for the suggestions above. I’ll see what I can cobble together.

*case in point being that he regularly vomits on the expensive rug (not carpet – see picture earlier) and I get blamed for not removing him from rug quickly enough.

other unrelated things that happened today…
we had a new 3-seater sofa delivered that I had to carry through the house into the living room where it now sits proudly atop a lovely heavy weave rug

Home

Caveat, i narrowly avoided employment by this firm when I found out you have to source your own work amongst other ‘stuff’
BUT give these lads ago/help the poor saps out, the work looks good.

I was going to suggest blaming it on your neighbour. Then to emphasise your displeasure either bum his lawn or hammer frozen sausages into his dog.

(Harks back to a classic thread from last year).

Bet you didn’t get any pudding!

Angle grinder + sander = nice new chopping board.

Hide the table and deny all knowledge of its existence.

a friend did that, kind of. Borrowed his dads motorhome drove ,it under a low bridge somewhere on the way back from an outdoor rave in Wales, destoying the roof. Parked it back in the driveway and just denied all knowledge of how it was damged.

Borrowed his dads motorhome drove ,it under a low bridge

Time for a dose of 11 foot 8

Then to emphasise your displeasure either bum his lawn

Whatever floats your boat

@hols2 man that is addictive.

Like the truck at the end that reverses back so he can have a go!!

Given the number of repeated incidents at the same site, one would have thought they may have a better warning system.

You would also think that Penske might have a GPS triggered alarm in all their trucks.

Given the number of repeated incidents at the same site, one would have thought they may have a better warning system.

Or that Penske, Enterprise and Budget would remind drivers not use that route 🙂

Ugly but effective ..

Drill the leg out to a through hole fix with bolt and nut on each axis..

Frame
Create a frame underneath in a |×| esc type shape with 2 extra bars holding it up ..

Top
Exopy it to within an inch of its life then clamp and leave with it top side down on cardboard(can be scraped off later) then razor blade the seam and some clear finished coat paint….

Good as new…

Reassembled car bumpers, lower balances, headlights, doorcards. It works great with wooden inserts or mounting on doors so when done right ..puts up with one hell of a beating
.

That bridge must be built out of damn strong stuff.