Have you ever had a wild poo?

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  • Have you ever had a wild poo?
  • russ295

    Probably but there was young children aboard and I was a very small boat.
    Would have scarred them for life!

    Had to jump off the bike once in the peak district and hover over a clump of heather.
    And pick a few dock leaves.

    Premier Icon plumslikerocks

    Ha ha – I just had to “log in to post”!

    My experience was as a self-conscious 17 year-old Venture Scout spending the night camping next to Red Tarn at the summit of Helvellyn.

    Didn’t really know what the done thing was, so I went and rolled over a boulder and set about obliterating the spiders nest under there. Only once I was sprouting a hefty fifth appendage did a helicopter full of Japanese tourists pop up over Striding Edge and start snapping away…cue involuntary pinching off blade action and a nasty clean up job…


    I remember waiting for a CX race to start once, looking round and seeing one of the entrants taking a last minute weight loss dump against a tree.

    I know that sounds like he was hidden from view but he wasn’t. Not from all the riders, or the spectators, or the people’s who’s houses lined the edge of the start line.

    Premier Icon plumslikerocks

    I guess a lot of current and forces guys will have a more relaxed approach to toileting privacy than the man in the street..


    Heard the army trick is to vaseline up yourself before going, makes your arse non-stick apparently.

    Totally scenic one by Strathchallech up by Cape Wrath. Me solo, could see for miles (to the horizon) in all directions. Not a soul in sight. Peat bog is easy to dig as well. Realized the source of the expression “going to the bog”. Wet ones FTW!

    To those doing passive-aggressive dumps in grouse butts – remember it is likely to be the hard working game keeper that has to go clean up your turd, not the ‘toff’ (more likely an American businessman in any case, bringing money and jobs to the rural economy and helping maintain the wild countryside from over-development etc etc).


    i have a very relaxed attitude to cable laying, its others who seem to find it objectionable..

    Premier Icon stratman

    Numerous when running – including one in Germany which made me rather nervous

    The most memorable was when I was running on quiet-ish roads beside the Seine in Paris a couple of years ago. Became desperate and was plotting how I could use benches when I saw a tennis club that was open. The most welcome French toilet ever.

    Now I always try to evacuate before leaving as I only seem to run in London

    Premier Icon Teetosugars

    Hundreds of times while a Squaddie.

    Which reminds me of the time my mate was wearing full NBC kit and went to drop the kids off at the pool while wearing one…

    👿 😆

    Premier Icon philtricklebank

    Grid Ref NY 192075

    During the ascent of Scafell Pike via Lingmell, beautiful views down Wasdale. First half was like a toffee crisp, second half was very different, like a smooth pine cone. I have pictures but I suspect that may lead to a ban.


    Had one in the sea once when I was about 12, to my horror it floated!


    The question about ticks reminded me:
    Many years ago, in the wettish season in Nepal, in the rhodedendron forests. The damp ground was swarming with smallish leeches, which were attracted by the early wafts of gas as I (or we) dropped our trousers and prepared to poo. You could see the little buggers looping towards our backsides as we dumped: the leaf-litter looked alive. We had to squat, drop a little, shuffle a couple of feet away to avoid the leeches, & repeat. If we’d dropped our cheeks too close to the ground, one of the blighters would have crawled up. It has been known…


    I did a log on a log. Used my socks for the wipeage as my 4 squares of paper that has done for every other crap I’ve ever had to clean up didn’t do the trick.

    Premier Icon MrOvershoot

    I thought we had “touched cloth” on this before & I was right



    lol thanks Mr shoot I thought I had done it on a different forum, seems not. Ho hum. Now where next?!

    My last one was just behind Meanach bothy, dug hole with provided spade, let rip, wiped bum with toilet wipes, buried poo.
    Previous one was on the NYM, went behind some trees & miraculously found a 3 layer empty fertiliser bag, extracted middle layer as bog paper!


    a climbing buddy of mine can’t help himself and has to have a dump at every crag we go to. he was completely unfazed by showing his arse to a packed stanage one busy sunday afternoon.

    Premier Icon takisawa2

    I’m currently enjoying the irony of reading this while on the throne…

Viewing 18 posts - 46 through 63 (of 63 total)

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