Have you ever had a wild poo?

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  • Have you ever had a wild poo?
  • heavy_rat
    Member

    yeah shit loads

    tonyd
    Member

    Loads. Every day for nearly a month in Chilean Patagonia, lots over the years in the UK either biking/hiking/running and getting caught short, and some pretty satisfying European jobbies too.

    Nothing quite like a wild poo!

    ps. I hope you dug a cat hole and didn’t just poo on the floor for some other poor soul to find.

    Premier Icon ads678
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    Best one I had was about 3am at the side of the road in Chamonix in some long grass next to the river. the grass was all dewy, great for cleaning ones self. Can’t remember the view though as I was very drunk!

    Premier Icon binners
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    I had a massive dump when nearly at the top of Snowdon on the most perfect clear morning. A fantastic view! Clearing out the previous evenings Stella and kebab before riding down the Ranger

    Premier Icon iain1775
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    Its a throw up between Wild camping on the deserted south side of Loch Ness, similar on an island in Loch Oich or a day later further south down the Caledonian Canal overlooking Ben Nevis at sunset with a very moody looking sky
    Something about paddling a canoe, makes me want to poo

    djglover
    Member

    Best few were runners trots and I was probably seen in all of them

    Once on a busy thames path in some bushes (I was spotted)
    Once in some conifer trees near kew bridge (when I looked round I saw people on the top deck of a bus looking at me)
    Once in a tree near Osterly park (I was spotted, but I wasn’t well hidden)

    I’ve not really got any shame TBH

    Premier Icon ir_bandito
    Subscriber

    Loads.
    More while running to be honest, something to do with the impact forcing things down. Luckily I usually go running off-road so there’s plenty of opportunity for subtlety

    Rules for outdoor toiletting (aswell as digging a hole)

    1) Downhill
    2) Downwind
    3) Most importantly, with a view.

    Also, my top tip is to have a piss seperatly first, to reduce the chance of getting your keks wet in the effort…

    hainman
    Member

    I’m a Crohn’s disease sufferer so its just the norm for me……
    I always have a pack of baby wipes in my back for just the occasion..

    freeagent
    Member

    I’ve done a couple of trips wild camping around rural Morocco, where we didn’t have any choice.
    One morning my mate went for the long walk with a spade and a roll of paper. He found a nice secluded spot and got down to business.
    As soon as he got going about 30 tourists on Quad bikes appeared from nowhere, and went flying passed him.

    They didn’t stop but passed within about 20 foot of him.

    MrTall
    Member

    My mate had a dicky tummy whilst out walking his two dogs and left a ‘rather runny deposit’ on the path and then turned around to find both his dogs happily tucking into it!

    Saved him having to dig a hole i guess but gross nonetheless.

    Safe to say i do not let his dogs lick my face!!

    TuckerUK
    Member

    I was in this club in Berlin…

    Oh wait, not THAT kind of wild eh?

    toby mc
    Member

    As i type, the thread below is about trail sanitisation – Oh the ironing….

    Premier Icon Northwind
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    Had my first ever on saturday. It was alright.

    Premier Icon splashdown
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    Only to mark out the trails for night riding….just follow your nose! πŸ˜†

    jekkyl
    Member

    I was out on Llandegla on sunday morning, it was the first time I’d ever been and very much enjoyed it. Except for just after the end of that climb through the tree stump wilderness round the back, I was struck off by the bike by the previous nights curry and had to dismount and crimp one off, albeit hidden (hopefully) from the track by some trees. This took me back to fondly remembering my first wild poo mtbing experience was when I was going up Skiddaw. I had to nip over a low wall and I can tell you that was the most scenic poo I have ever had. Awesome to look upon the grandeur of the lake district while curling one out, the relief was tremendous.

    Where’s the best place you’ve ever had a poo? or your best poo story? share do. πŸ™‚

    mattzzzzzz
    Member

    Keks off pants off , legs through carrier bag handles pull up bag like a set of baggy plastic pants and let one out- top tip put some kitchen roll in the bottom to soak up the number 1 while doing a number 2, baby wipes for the finale and tie it off and bin it .

    Alfresco – top tip don’t hold on to a branch to give yourself the correct trajectory as branches can and will snap 😯

    Well versed in ” going wild” since I used to spend days at a time at the side of a river fishing

    scottyroyal
    Member

    Ahhh, most scenic, on the side of Carn Beag Dearg looking across to the north face of Ben Nevis – lovely.

    The key from an OS map acted as emergency loo roll.

    dizcostix
    Member

    butt nekkid behind the only tree at the summit of innerleithen red xc route climb

    legend-wait for it-dary view + satisfaction

    I know someone who doesn’t consider it a proper ride unless he’s pinched one out in the woods trail side, a roll of andrex is a permanent part of the gear he carries in his camelbak!

    Moses
    Member

    It’s a real pleasure. I’m sure that the deep release you get while pooing in the squat position is better for you than being perched on a pedestal. It certainly seems to clear me out better than being at home.
    I bury mine, or at least scrape leaves over it.

    My most memorable was an evening sunset dump on a beach in New Caledonia. Yes, I buried it deep, but not so deep as to stop a squad of land-crabs from excavating a burrow & eating the stuff 10 minutes later.
    Lucky them!

    Premier Icon coolhandluke
    Subscriber

    Yep,

    working in a field (old landfill site) in the North East it was foggy and I needed to go.

    No need to go too far then I thought and that farmer in the field next to ours going up and down in his tractor can’t see me as its foggy.

    Mid dump, the fog cleared rather more rapidly than I would have liked and as the farmer trundled by, I simply gave him a cheery ” hello” and waved my bog roll at him.

    Premier Icon coolhandluke
    Subscriber

    Yep,

    working in a field (old landfill site) in the North East it was foggy and I needed to go.

    No need to go too far then I thought and that farmer in the field next to ours going up and down in his tractor can’t see me as its foggy.

    Mid dump, the fog cleared rather more rapidly than I would have liked and as the farmer trundled by, I simply gave him a cheery ” hello” and waved my bog roll at him.

    Up a tree is the best! Out on a limb which splits into 2 branches, 12ft up, reminds you that everything in nature has a purpose.

    hora
    Member

    I normally strip naked when I trail poo. Well thats what I told the arresting officer

    Grouse butts are perfect for the job as I discovered.

    Plus the satisfaction that the next visitor will be some toff who has paid a small fortune for the privelege.

    Premier Icon sturmeyarcher
    Subscriber

    Mate found himself touching cloth whilst walking the dogs in the woods. After evacuating, he finds himself without loo roll, tissues or suitable leaf matter. What luck! There’s a pile lovely fluffy orange material within arms’ reach. His Mum had him bent over the kitchen table for 2 hours whilst she removed the shards of fibre glass from his crack with tweezers. Lesson learnt, loft insulation is not a substitute for Kleenex.

    hels
    Member

    Ha Ha Northwind ! We wondered why you took so long at the top of stage 3 !!

    Grouse butts are perfect for the job as I discovered.

    Plus the satisfaction that the next visitor will be some toff.

    Genuine πŸ˜†

    tang
    Member

    I lived in India for 3 years in the jungle and Himalayas, every morning outside. 4000 meters surrounded by 12ft heavy ganja plants and a view of a magnificent valley and peaks, not bad. Had a few large snakes come by in the jungle! My friends who live in Australia and the pyranees make sure the compost loos all have a beautiful view, why not?
    When I was a teenager I used to summer with a friend on the island of formenterra and the local trick was to wipe with a well selected stone! Surprisingly effective.

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner
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    hora – Member

    I normally strip naked when I trail poo. Well thats what I told the arresting officer

    Piccadilly Gardens isn’t wild. πŸ˜€

    I’ve pissed on the three highest British summits.
    Think about that and wash your hands properly after your charity challenge.

    Diane
    Member

    Hels – I was going to post up that I hope he buried it 😯

    andrewh
    Member

    2006 (I think?) National XC championship. Had a tummy bug,started the race with a large supply of bog roll in my pocket. Came last.
    .
    Had about 3 in my last 24hr race, after w while you just stop caring where you go.
    .
    I always bury it though

    Edric 64
    Member

    You do all burn the bog paper and bury the turds dont you ?

    unovolo
    Member

    Do them all the time and leave them in little bags at the side of the trail for the Pooh Pixie:-)

    Premier Icon senor j
    Subscriber

    Last year I had a stomach bug(normal procedure is to empty ballast tubes pre ride)and had to go wild on three consecutive rides in the Chilterns.
    😳
    Previously I’ve been behind the wall on the way up to Skiddaw House.
    nice views.
    I once rode with a fella that couldn’t go alfesco ,despite complaining that his bowel was about to burst! πŸ˜₯

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner
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    Edric 64 – Member

    You do all burn the bog paper and bury the turds dont you ?

    No.

    I take them all home and post them to the Kennel Club.

    Rorschach
    Member

    Does the hard shoulder of the m56 whilst my car rolled into the ditch count? (bloody psp rubbish)

    tonyd
    Member

    Just remembered – I took a dump down a chimney at a party in Soho once. Had to shout down to my mate to go and find some toilet roll, apparently the BT tower was my backdrop πŸ™‚

    umop3pisdn
    Member

    I was in a Swiss Forest with some mates setting off fireworks and had a sudden need to go. Not my finest moment.

    russ295
    Member

    Went out on a fishing boat in the Black Sea. The old Bulgarian beer was pretty heavy and had a few the night before.
    Needed to go and asked if they had a toilet, they pointed over the side. Tried to explain it was a turd that was coming and they laughed and and still pointed overboard.
    Dived in and dropped one in the sea. Pretty weird trying to tread water at the same time.

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