geetee1972 – Member
Fund. The word was Fund.
Not you – someone else more directly suggested the alternative, though your literal post was strongly suggestive of that alternative.

I think you might be referring to my comment, backing up someone else’s comment.

Whilst I appreciate your friends situation, and I do, I’m afraid he will have to Fund himself as far as I’m concerned. Sympathy and empathy are rightfully given in the saddest and desperate despicable situations, in my eyes this is not one to warrant any Funding from me. What You choose to do with your hard earned Funds, is like, entirely up to you.

But I admire his aptitude and application for warranting Funds to enable an “as is” lifestyle, sure the bloke knows how to play on both moral and social attitudes. He could apply those skills in a job, maybe an internet based startup or other crowdfunding environment where skills like his are highly sought after.

This thread looks like a corker, I’ll be watching from this side of the internet for insite and humour.

I’ll tell you a story about Jim.

He got ‘downsized’ about six month later.

Can Jim not catch a break? If he’s been downsized, presumably with some sort of experimental shrinkray, no wonder he’s moaning about living seven miles away. That’ll seem like, well, more than seven miles. Is that why his wife divorced him?

Hey, where did the story go?

He sounds like the very personification of the old adage…’nice guys finish last’. Bet he’d be delighted to read this thread!! Might be worth asking for a deletion actually, any potential future employers would also find it rather interesting reading.

Edit. I see the story has in fact disappeared.

So I did instead and knocked the ball out of the park.

You go-getter, you!

I deleted the story because in my naivety I forgot this was STW and no good would come of it.

Spoilsport. It had everything – role play, humiliation, uncontrollable shaking… 😀

Spoilsport. It had everything – role play, humiliation, uncontrollable shaking…

😀

Unfortunately it also had a mahoosive dollop of, albeit entirely unintentional, virtue signaling on my part. The whiff of lesser stag and chest wig did rather fill the air .

So, genuine question, how is Jim doing now?

Binners could fund him on the utterly amazing football betting he does

Dammit, I missed Jim’s biog… anyone care to give me a brief synopsis?

Let’s just say that the process made me see that she wasn’t best suited to having children.

So if the IVF had worked you would of landed up having a child with someone you don’t deem fit to have a child with? Pot meet kettle?

@greentricky – http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/gofundme-page-for-dad-whose-divorce-means-hes-broke/page/3#post-8336851

So if the IVF had worked you would of landed up having a child with someone you don’t deem fit to have a child with? Pot meet kettle?

I’d have ended up with a relationship that needed a lot of work. But when I made the commitment to try and start a family, I was 100% committed to seeing it through and if it had been successful, I would have done, no matter what.

I believe that having children is a far greater commitment than any marital vow – it’s not a “Victorian” attitude, it’s just something I firmly believe. After much soul searching, I made a decision that the relationship I was in wasn’t right, so rather than bring children into it and risk damaging their lives, I parked it. I’m 100% comfortable with the decision I made – I failed as a husband but at least I didn’t fail as a father.

Modern society seems to think we should respect everyone else’s choices and decisions, even when they’re clearly not in the best interests of children. It all boils down to the disparity between knowing your rights and knowing your responsibilities. We should know that we have a responsibility to not exercise our rights unless we’re going to see them through.

There’s been a bit of attitude from posters here (one in particular) who takes offense at my views because he made choices that are at odds with my views. I was brought up to believe that you stand by your family no matter what. Your family’s welfare (if you’re lucky enough to have one) is secondary to your own happiness. It’s particularly easy for blokes to walk away citing that old chestnut “it just wasn’t right for me” leaving a broken family in their wake.

And having been single in my thirties, I’ve seen countless times how difficult it is for women with children to rebuild a decent life after feckless partners have knocked em up and then shipped out!

feckless partners have knocked em up

Did you really post that????? 🙄

Feckless means unthinking and irresponsible… It’s the perfect word for what I was describing.

What’s it like, being you?

I hope Jim gets himself sorted out, I wouldn’t necessarily give him money but I can understand the position he finds himself in.

What’s it like, being you?

A whole lot better than being Jim! 😀

You think?

It’s particularly easy for blokes to walk away citing that old chestnut “it just wasn’t right for me” leaving a broken family in their wake.

I think you’re seriously underestimating how difficult it is to walk away. I doubt most men do it in the manner you describe. I’d be happy to retract that if you can provide any actual evidence to back up what you’re saying though.

Are you also seriously stating that it’s better for children if their parents stay together under any circumstances? I can tell you from first hand experience that is utter horse shite. A childless man dictating his moral stance on the upbringing of children. Come back when you have kids

Come back when you have kids

I’ll see you in September 😉

And yes, I know dozens of men who have several kids by different mothers – they breeze in and out of their lives with reckless abandon, oblivious to the trail of destruction in their wake.

For every bloke that simply moves on to pastures greener, there’s a broken family and more often than not, a mother who will struggle to find a new partner to take on another man’s kids and will face a lifetime of loneliness. If you don’t agree that this happens, I would suggest that it’s you, not me that has a rather skewed view of the world!

I think somebody’s been watching a bit too much Jeremy Kyle

There’s more than one way to skin a cat, and it takes two people to make a relationship…

actually that’s probably way to cryptic for your level of emotional intelligence – there’s more than one way to be lonely, and it doesn’t matter how good your commitment is if you’re the only one trying. Just because the father physically left doesn’t mean he’s the one who left the relationship.

There’s more than one way to skin a cat, and it takes two people to make a relationship…

Of course, and I’ve never sat down with an excel spreadsheet and ‘done the math’, but off the top of my head, I can probably name 30 blokes within my circle of acquaintances who’ve walked away from their families compared to 1 woman.

If you don’t agree that this happens, I would suggest that it’s you, not me that has a rather skewed view of the world!

I’m not disagreeing that it does happen. I’m stating it’s not as black and white as you make out. I would also wager that there are more marriages that break down for other reasons than the Jeremy Kyle factor. I think you’re suffering with some confirmation bias. Do women never leave men in your world? Do single fathers not exist?

You still haven’t answered my question regarding whether you think parents should stick together under any circumstances. In your opinion should they?

I edited after you posted – you have no idea who left emotionally just who had their life physically disrupted.

I can probably name 30 blokes within my circle of acquaintances who’ve walked away from their families compared to 1 woman.

You must have a massive circle of very close friends if you know 30 of well enough to know the real reasons of a marriage breakdown. It’s not something you discuss in detail with some bloke at work or someone who you occasionally have a pint with.

Feckless means unthinking and irresponsible… It’s the perfect word for what I was describing.

It was more the “knocked up” part of the quote I was amazed by. 🙄

You still haven’t answered my question regarding whether you think parents should stick together under any circumstances. In your opinion should they?

In a perfect world, yes. My own parents went through some very tough times, emotionally and financially. When one had ‘issues’ or ‘demons’, the other supported them and worked together to make it work. I’m pretty sure they hated the sight of each other at various points throughout their marriage, but they made a commitment – not just to each other – but to raising a family, and they saw it through.

Your “under any circumstances” is quite deliberately vague, but let me dissect it. If one party was unfaithful, then they’ve failed in their commitment. If one person has ‘issues’ or ‘demons’, then they both have a responsibility to address them, not just throw in the towel so they can move on and start again.

So, what other “under any circumstances” are we talking about?

So in that case it’s OK for the other party to walk? How about if the other party has failed in their commitment in other ways?

You still appear to be completely missing a circumstances which I’m sure are far from unique.

Refer back to my last post Aracer, I made my thoughts perfectly clear there. Are you going to answer my question?

In a perfect world, yes.

I see the flaw in your arguement 😀

So, what other “under any circumstances” are we talking about?

Any circumstances. There can be a lot. I’m not being vague, just asking you to clarify your views. I’ll make it simpler for you. When, in your opinion, is it acceptable to walk away from a marriage? You keep using the phrase ‘in an ideal world’ unfortunately that isn’t the one we live in though is it?

Your whole outlook seems absurd to me. I’m the child of a seriously messed up marriage and I’m thankful my parents called it quits. The environment I lived in was one of abject misery and fear from the age of nine to thirteen Are you saying that environment is better for a child to live in?

What question? And no, you haven’t made your thoughts totally clear on what you think is appropriate behaviour from one partner if there is no commitment from the other.

Why oh why did he have to bump it with the same bloody comment someone else had already made ?? 😥

What question?

Let me walk you through this… If you look at my previous post, it ended with a question… It’s really not rocket surgery. 🙄

The only question there references your prior question which was aimed at me. Come on it’s not brain science 😀