Someone I know in the US (former colleague) has just sent me a link to his GoFundMe page. He’s, very humbly, asking for financial help as a result of a costly (but amicable) divorce coinciding with being laid off from work. He kept up all his maintenance payments to his family (I know they mean everything to him – he’s a great father), paying them from his severance package. He’s now about to get evicted from his apartment because he’s fallen behind with his rent.

I don’t know what to make of it – my heart goes out to him and I can to seome degree empathise (having been made redundant before and just before my first son was born), but i’ve never come across this kind of request. I’m encouraged that he’s raised so much (although I guess it’s possible that he’s donated himself anonymously to encourage others).

What do you guys think?

Jim’s Family is Everything

I’m thinking there could be a whole lot more to this/him/his divorce/his finances/his culpability than we know about, so no way would I be contributing without knowing more.

I think that Jim can GoFundHimself.

Well, if you don’t ask, you don’t get I suppose. Intrigued* about his benefactors & their motivation as there are some large donations there. Are they friends/colleagues or just randoms? Still, he’s doing very well so it’s obviously been a successful strategy for him!

*mildly; I will have forgotten all about it by tomorrow

If it’s genuine, which as you back it up as you know him it does look like it is, I can’t see a problem with it.

Until you’re faced with the prospect of not seeing your kids much, despite your best efforts, I doubt you can imagine the situation he is in. Good on him for trying.

Interesting method of getting the page ranked on Google by adding it to STW.

Clever.

You are Jim and I won’t be giving you my $5

I’ve seen one or two similar things on the Facebook… Really not at all comfortable with it, and even less comfortable with it on a forum like this – he doesn’t even live in the same country as me!

Pages like Justgiving etc raise a lot of money for good causes – I think this is a bit of an abuse of the format.

I guess the internet allows people to plumb new depths.

You are Jim and I won’t be giving you my $5

Yeah, funny but I’m not (and glad of it). He’s a nice guy but he’s more lacking in focus, direction and commitment than anyone I’ve ever met. I think this is about the third or maybe even the fourth time he’s been ‘laid off’.

Intrigued* about his benefactors & their motivation as there are some large donations there.

Yeah me also – this is what I meant by wondering if perhaps he’d made those to himself in order to give his campaign credibility.

I think that Jim can GoFundHimself.

Well sure, but you could be nice about it. He’s exactly the kind of (man) the world really doesn’t care for right now.

Well sure, but you could be nice about it.

I was nice about it. No profanities were used.

He’s exactly the kind of (man) the world really doesn’t care for right now.

A white male in his 50’s, presumably in good health, living in one of the richest countries in the world , who has the freedom to make his own life choices but , apparently, not to shoulder the responsibilty of the consequences, if they don’t work out?.

He is oppressed indeed and deserves our pity.

However if no funding sources are discovered quickly, I will be forced to move several miles away and see them on a much more limited basis

So, in summary, he is still friends with his ex-wife and will still get to see his kids who are only a few miles away. He also has $12,000 of other peoples money to soothe him.

Maybe you’re right. Perhaps I was too harsh.

Fair play to him, if you want to help out do so, if you don’t, don’t. I know how much divorce costs both financially and emotionally and can thank my lucky stars that I have managed to emerge relatively unscathed (thus far anyway), albeit the stress and financial cost have been considerable. I’ll probably bung him a few quid in a “What goes around comes around” kind of fashion..

He’s a nice guy but he’s more lacking in focus, direction and commitment than anyone I’ve ever met.

Perhaps he needs to get some focus then, before asking for hand-outs.

I’ll probably bung him a few quid in a “What goes around comes around” kind of fashion..

Seriously?? A middle-class guy who has decided to leave his kids but wants your free money so he doesn’t have to move a few miles???

And you can’t think of more deserving causes for your money?

Yup you could give it to one of those tourists who haven’t got health insurance gofund me pages

perchypanther – Member
I think that Jim can GoFundHimself.

I had similar thoughts, but was thinking a different “F” word.

If I knew and liked him, I’d be perfectly happy to lend him a bike for a while to go the several miles from his new place to his kids, until he got back on his feet financially.

watching breaking bad on Netflix recently, not sure why this story made me think of that 😉

Well it’s certainly been more successful than trying to raise money to see Mickey Mouse

I don’t mind hearing about people and sometimes donating to them if they are long-standing members on here.
But we can’t be expected to give money to everybody in the world.

Seriously?? A middle-class guy who has decided to leave his kids but wants your free money so he doesn’t have to move a few miles???

You’re being terribly ignorant. That’s not what happened.

So a bloke has 2 teenage kids and gets a divorce. Then people are asked to give him money so he doesn’t have to drive quite as far to go and see them?

He’s taking the piss!

I think that Jim can GoFundHimself.

^This + 100.

Lol…I do love Americans..

Wow, while I am not saying that his asking for money is reasonable, the level of ignorance and deliberate misrepresentation being shown on this thread is astounding.

He’s out of work having been laid off.
He’s spent all of his severance and savings keeping up his maintenance payments to his ex-wife and children.
She left him and kept the house but he was the one required to move out.
He’s a chronically average man in his 50s in a country that doesn’t ever look favourably on late middle age low achievers even if they are white and male.
He sees being a good father as the most important aspect of this life and is where his entire sense of value and purpose in society is located (and good on him for putting that above career achievement) and losing his apartment is going to make that even harder.

And yet so many of you want to burn him for being, what, white, middle class and male?

No wonder Trump (who is a knob head in my view) got elected. Well done, keep it up and we’ll have Farage as out next PM.

Surely if your income changes you apply to vary your alimony and child support payments?

You’re being terribly ignorant. That’s not what happened.

Really? If he’d stayed with his wife, he’d have a roof over his head, be able to see his kids ad nauseum, and be in a far better position to weather his financial storm.

There are virtually no circumstances I can think of where I’d prefer to see a man leave his family than honour his commitment, for better or for worse.

What we have here is a self-absorbed dreamer who has squandered security because the grass is greener. He’s moved on from his wife (for whatever reason) and he’s pissballed about with various business ventures that he’s clearly not got the minerals to make a success of.

And now, he’s begging, scrounging, appealing, cap-in-hand for money handouts from complete strangers so he doesn’t have to drive as far on weekends so he can see his kids!

And why do you keep referring to fact that he’s white?? I find that quite offensive!

Something tells me we are looking at a 10-pager thread here.

council, you appear to have reading difficulties. Have another try.

Really? If he’d stayed with his wife, he’d have a roof over his head, be able to see his kids ad nauseum, and be in a far better position to weather his financial storm.

OK for the last time, she asked for the divorce and he moved out because he thought he was doing the right thing.

And why do you keep referring to fact that he’s white?? I find that quite offensive!

Er, because he is?

What we have here is a self-absorbed dreamer who has squandered security because the grass is greener.

Sorry do you know him as well?

Council unless you have been in that position – i.e. identical to his you know absolutely sweet FA about ” no circumstances I can think of where I’d prefer to see a man leave his family than honour his commitment, for better or for worse.”

I did what he did, if i hadn’t i would have broken – i get to see my girl when her mum decides it’s appropriate which is shite! This si 3 years down the line, but on the flip side i now have a wife who actually loves me rather than a woman who i just lived alongside. Sometimes nothing yoyu do can keep a dead relationship going. Sorry if thats rude but thats life!!

I didn’t think I’d need biscuits.

Back in a mo’. Just popping to the shops. Let me know your preference.

I’m thinking there could be a whole lot more to this/him/his divorce/his finances/his culpability than we know about, so no way would I be contributing without knowing more.

Very much this +1 for me.
If the divorce was so amicable, how come he has been completely shafted by it?

Well you’re on it…

My immediate thought after reading his appeal is that if he is still so friendly with his ex-wife then maybe they should suck it up and live together and raise their kids until he gets back on his feet.

There are virtually no circumstances I can think of where I’d prefer to see a man leave his family than honour his commitment, for better or for worse.

You’re either a troll, an idiot, a fourteen year old, lacking in any empathy whatsoever, have never been in a relationship or grown apart from somebody. Either that or you are seriously naive and / or lucky to be in a stable and loving relationship. Not everyone is that lucky.

If the divorce was so amicable, how come he has been completely shafted by it?

Ask any man that’s been divorced whether they feel their treatment is fair and I’m sure you will get the answer. But I don’t think that it’s at all relevant to this story. He’s done what he thought was the right thing and now he’s left with debts, the threat of eviction and being forced to move away from the one thing that helps him still valued, worthwhile and loved.

The fact that he’s white bears no relevance to his situation. Citing it as a reason for some sort of perceived persecution is frankly, ridiculous and offensive!

I’m going to assume he’s putting a rather positive spin on his begging letter, so let’s carry on reading between the lines.
• He wasted his savings when laid off from work rather than getting a job, any job.
• He mucked about trying to set up his own business… rather than getting a job – any job
• He’s now scrounging off strangers… rather than getting a job!

He can clearly afford to rent in a cheaper part of town, but he doesn’t want to as he’d rather not waste time driving over to see them!

So he’s begging for money so he can afford a nice apartment in a nice neighbourhood.

Go fundyourself Jim!

Maybe that’s why it was amicable – it certainly appears to be one possibility.

FWIW I’m where iamanobody was 3 years ago (or maybe a bit more, still living alongside) and TBH posts like his give me a bit of hope and maybe courage to move on. I’m not sure some of those posting have ever been here. Not that I’m suggesting I’m going to be sending him money (I was tempted to suggest that he hasn’t met me in response to geetee’s second post), but I reckon it’s one of the hardest things to understand if you’ve never been there – if it was that easy we wouldn’t end up here.

TBH posts like his give me a bit of hope and maybe courage to move on

We all need a little encouragement and courage sometimes buddy. I can empathsie with you; while still solid, marriage hasn’t been easy. I can’t think of many things that will test your mettle than having to deal with severe bouts of persistent PND over many years and being the punch bag for that condition.

So come on Geetee, if his relationship with his ex-wife is so amicable, why have they separated? Iz it coz he iz white?

think some of the answers on here are a little harsh, if not patronising, i can quite believe his marriage has broken down through no fault of his. but, (and i havent read the begging page), it doesnt quite sit well with me what hes doing.

if there was a valid reason, then it may sound better saying ” i need x amount of dollars per week to travel and see my children, please help me reach that”, whereas am i correct in thinking theres no limit to how much he may get? so he may end up better off than before? if it went viral he could make a million?

as they say, only in america……

So come on Geetee, if his relationship with his ex-wife is so amicable, why have they separated? Iz it coz he iz white?

Hey you know what, it’s none of your business.