Films that are best left unwatched

After doing all of the recent Marvel and DC movies with the family I thought I would treat them to the Tim Burton version of Batman from 1989, to show them how good films were back in t’day.

Wow! It hasn’t aged well.

Batman is hardly in it, and in the occasion when he does arrive, he has the mobility of a Dalek and all of the brooding menace of Bungle the Bear. Good job he only had to go up against Jack Nicholson doing his panto dame routine and not Tom Hardy’s Bane.

The car is still pretty cool though.

Human Caterpillar.

Any of the American Pie franchise, but the original in particular,  Even when it was released (1999) it was pretty cringe, age has not treated that film well.

Human Caterpillar.

Isn’t that a novelty cake?

Oh, Debbie Does Dallas before anyone chips in.

Martyrs.

all of the brooding menace of Bungle the Bear.

I’m going to rewatch it just to enjoy that description!

Batman is hardly in it, and in the occasion when he does arrive, he has the mobility of a Dalek and all of the brooding menace of Bungle the Bear. Good job he only had to go up against Jack Nicholson doing his panto dame routine and not Tom Hardy’s Bane.

Yeah but the music!

The Whale – we watched it last weekend. Its not that its a bad movie, more that its just so hard to bear.

Revisiting my yoof I rewatched the Crow as I saw it was streaming. I recomend not bothering.

The latest Beverley Hills Cop, the original for £1 entry to the ABC with the place filled with loads of fag reek and folk, the Pointer Sisters Neutron Dance

Although I must admit Eddie Murphy seems to have aged well compared to the rest

Most films made in the last 10 years seem to be pretty terrible – the whole idea of ‘franchise’ has pretty much ruined mainstream cinema.

Prometheus is my tip for definitely best left unwatched

Glen & Randa

all of the brooding menace of Bungle the Bear.

Which Bungle though? There were actually 3 versions of the Bungle costume – the first one was absolute nightmare fuel

 

I thought the 1989 Batman was rubbish at the time.

I was a big fan of The Dark Knight Returns comic strips and thought it was going be like that. It wasn’t. It was shit.

Surprised no one has mentioned “Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom” yet

JolsaFull Member
Martyrs.

My first thought

Pretty much anything with a red “N” in the corner of the advert and a big name star.

Even Gal Gadot couldn’t make me stick with red notice.

Michael Flatley’s Blackbird:

Recently

Deadpool vs Wolverine. A true turd

star wars 1-3
my son recently got into star wars and thought I would watch phantom menace with him.
What utter crap

Debbie Does Dallas before anyone chips in

Disagree! it’s kinda quaint – back to a time when women had fun making a pron film!

Disagree! it’s kinda quaint – back to a time when women had fun making a pron film!

Just because we can do irony/sarcasm doesn’t mean that we should.

I read the novel High Rise, by James Hallard back in the summer and really enjoyed how crazy it was. When I discovered there was a movie, I got quite excited and kept my eye out for it.

Anyway, I spotted that it was actually on Amazon Prime at the weekend….it was utter pish.

The last temptation of Christ – I walked out during the intermission

Ahh, I walked out of Eyes Wide Shut. That plinky-plinky piano score. I can still hear it now

Highlander……… 2?

I read the novel High Rise, by James Hallard

Otherwise known as J G Ballard

it was utter pish.

I liked it 🙂

The last temptation of Christ

Eyes Wide Shut

I liked those too. This is why I never take STW film recommendations seriously. Diff’rent strokes.

God, there are just so many, so here are 3 nominations from way back, fairly recent and current.

Last Tango In Paris – for all its notoriety it’s just excruciatingly dull.

Spencer – just why make a film like that? Pointless.

Longlegs – an utter bore and just silly.

My usual answer would be the second Matrix film, but I recently rewatched an 80’s film called ‘No Retreat No Surrender’ and god that was awful.

As a kid I remember it being hailed as a grittier, more violent Karate kid (with one of Jean Claude Van Damme’s early appearances). but through adults eyes, the acting was dire, the action sequences laughable, but worst of all the plot just didn’t make sense!

I liked those too. This is why I never take STW film recommendations seriously. Diff’rent strokes.

What you talking ’bout DrJ

Highlander……… 2?

There should have been only one.

The Eiger Sanction.

Mad Max Fury Road

he has the mobility of a Dalek and all of the brooding menace of Bungle the Bear.

If brooding menace is what you want from a batman film, may i suggest you don’t watch the original 60s film (which is hilarious IMO)

I really struggled with the schmaltz of Its A Wonderful Life.  Capra films are pretty **** schmaltzy generally, but they’re often funny at least. But that one really went over the top.

“That plinky-plinky piano score. I can still hear it now”

Whereas I bought that soundtrack on CD and was actually listening to it the other day – thought the film was quite good as well.

Films i have enjoyed…

Eyes Wide Shut

Last Temptation of Christ

Last Tango in Paris

Longlegs

Mad Max Fury Road

oops

89 Batman is fantastic!

Agree with Star Wars 1-3.

Thor Love & Thunder (?) absolutely dire vs the others which I enjoyed

Films i have enjoyed…

Eyes Wide Shut

Last Temptation of Christ

Last Tango in Paris

Longlegs

Mad Max Fury Road

oops

I enjoyed Mad Max Fury Road but apart from that it’s as if we’re 2 entirely different people.

Oh. Hang on…

The Whale – we watched it last weekend. Its not that its a bad movie, more that its just so hard to bear.

Also, The Road.

Great film but I couldn’t watch it again, think I’d need counselling.