I’d like to know whether Dexy’s Midnight Runners song about Eileen was a description or an instruction.

a friend with weed is better

Quite possibly true

Jesus was Batman

Very unlikely as appropriately 1900 years or more between reported sightings.

3 am is not, in fact, eternal. 60 seconds later, it’s 3:01.

Mr. Routes I fear that you too need to find a new supplier.

I was born in a barrel of butcher knives

Shot in the ass with two colt .45’s

I’ve been slapped by a bear and bit by an eel

I chew up railroad iron, and shit out steel!

I jumped in the ocean and swallowed a whale

Handcuff lightning and throw thunder’s ass in jail

Highly implausible. I suspect hyperbole.

And Lisa Stansfield almost certainly didn’t go around the world looking for her baby.

From The Equestrian Statue by the Bonzos:

“Once a month, on a Friday, there’s a man

With a mop and bucket in his hand

To him it’s just another working day

As he whistles while he rubs and scrubs away”

That’s no longer the case in these times of council budget cuts 🙂

Did your wife really hoover your head last night? We need photos.

I think Perry Como might have ended up in the burns unit if he was telling the truth.

Also, Kings of Leon.

Jesus was Batman

Very unlikely as appropriately 1900 years or more between reported sightings.

Objection! They admit that they’re wrong in the next line.

And did those feet,
In ancient times
Walk upon England’s mountains green?

No. Next?

“Wherever I hang my hat, that’s my home”

I think you’ll find that the conveyancing process is a little more complex than that.

Mr Osbourne has not to my knowledge lined up for a full distance triathlon nor is he solely composed of ferrous metal.

I think Perry Como might have ended up in the burns unit if he was telling the truth.

Also, Kings of Leon.

And Johnny Cash

And did those feet,
In ancient times
Walk upon England’s mountains green?

No. Next?

There are a number sources which claim that he may have travelled. There a number of “missing years” in the accounts of his life, notably between his early teens and mid to late twenties.

Google Jesus lost years.

Some say India, others claim evidence he may have been to England. I’m sure it’s food for thought. 😀

Bryan Adams would have been 10 in the summer of ’69.

Me and some guys from school
Had a band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody got married
I should’ve known we’d never get far

I’m not sure what the age of consent is in Canada, but I’m reasonably sure it’s higher than 10.

AND!

Adams bought his first electric guitar at the age of 12 in Reading, an Italian brand from Gherson, based on a Fender stratocaster.[27] In an interview with music magazine Guitar World, Adams said:

“I bought an imitation Les Paul at a Five and Dime store in Ottawa, Canada, in 1971,” Adams recalled. “Before that, I had an imitation Strat which I bought in Reading, England in 1970”

LIES!!!!!

Diamonds do not shine.

They reflect and they refract…
…but they do NOT effing shine!

Au contraire – Diamond’s a source of very bright x-rays, infrared and ultraviolet light

Also, Kings of Leon.

And Johnny Cash

and Jim Morrison’s baby. I mean, giving matches to a very young child would surely be a mistake. More likely to damage the pram than the actual night.

Google Jesus lost years.

He learnt his trade off his dad, typical carpenter/builder……. disappeared off the face of the Earth for a while leaving everyone clueless as to where he was.

Diamonds do not last forever.

Chemically, graphite is a more stable form of carbon, so a diamond would eventually transform into graphite.

Love can build a bridge.

No, it can’t. Steel and concrete are your friends here.

I’m not sure what the age of consent is in Canada, but I’m reasonably sure it’s higher than 10.

The people from school needn’t have been the same age. Could have been teachers or janitors or something.

The song also says the first ‘real’ six string was bought and the Five and Dime. Now, you might insist that any guitar is ‘real’ as in not imaginary, but the term has certainly also come to mean something properly suited to its purpose. It’s possible that the ‘imitation strat’ was in fact so rubbish as to be not fit for purpose. I’ve certainly seen guitars like this.

Girls do not just want to have fun. They expect all sorts of other stuff that is not fun.

Some say India, others claim evidence he may have been to England.

Supposedly his uncle traded in what is now the UK. But in any case Blake is simply asking a question, which is not an assertion and therefore outside the scope of this thread.

Does Batman, in fact, smell?

Of course. He may be clean enough to be un-noticeable by human noses but a dog would certainly be able to tell.

I wonder if Mr Bolan ever found out that driving expensive cars like Rolls Royce’s didn’t make any difference to his vocals.
Cars weren’t really very good for the chap at all as it turned out.

I’m pretty sure they blasted and dug the embankments and cuts with dynamite and shovels, picks, etc.

The city probably was built on rock, so it’s at least partially correct.

Does Batman, in fact, smell?

You try wearing a head to toe rubber suit and do some vigarous excersise chasing villains around the city.

Status Quo did not ‘rock all over the world’.
I have it on good authority that they have never played a gig in Antarctica, for example.

The song also says the first ‘real’ six string was bought and the Five and Dime.

Which he purchased in 1971, the charlatan.

It’s a staple at the South Pole NYE disco, so they have rocked all over the world by proxy.

There’ll be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover

Balderdash. No bluebirds in europe 🙂

Also descibing a sheer chalk cliff into the sea, as a valley, is a bit of a stretch of the imagination.

There’ll be bluebirds over
The white cliffs of Dover
Tomorrow, just you wait and see
There’ll be love and laughter
And peace ever after
Tomorrow, when the world is free
The shepherd will tend his sheep
The valley will bloom again
And Jimmy will go to sleep
In his own little room again
There’ll be bluebirds over
The white cliffs of Dover
Tomorrow, just you wait and see

Tina Turner sings of someone being ‘simply the best, better than anyone, anyone I ever met’

It’s clearly a falsehood to assert someone is ‘the best’ whilst in the next breath, freely admitting that you have not met everyone who ever lived in order to draw such a ludicrous conclusion.

Jesus was Batman

Does that mean that John Lydon is prophesised to oppose Batman: The Return? Should Ian Brown be worried?

I’m travelling at the speed of light

Highly improbable, Mr. Mercury.

I am a sex machine ready to reload like an atom bomb

Also atomic bombs don’t work the way you seem to think they do.

Building a city on rock and roll is unlikely to prove a durable and reliable foundation.

The song also says the first ‘real’ six string was bought and the Five and Dime.

I thought the same, but that being the case then it wasn’t the summer of ’69 but two years later.

[EDIT: sorry, I see someone else said the same thing]

You try wearing a head to toe rubber suit and do some vigarous excersise

I reserve that sort of thing for special occasions.

Also Bryan adams sings: ‘everything I do, I do it for you’.

Well now, what about that classic landrover you drive around in and love so much? Pretty sure you weren’t thinking of your wife when you bought that, were you?!

Bryan Adams would have been 10 in the summer of ’69.

The song is very famously not about the year 1969. Or have i just explained your joke?

The song is very famously not about the year 1969. Or have i just explained your joke?

69’d at the age of ten, what a lad… or is it just another of his many lies.