Dating is suuuuch a pain.

I’m not usually one for body snarking, but blimey, Edwina looks quite a lot like Frankenfurter there…

80s makeup was ace.

If you have a smart phone get Fake Call Me app. Probably one of the most useful apps I have. You can set it to ring your phone at a pre determined time or in say, 15 minutes. You can even set it up so it shows one of your contacts calling you.

I often use it to get out of really tedious meetings at work or converations with my mother in law. Would be perfect for being informed about an e’mergency’ whilst on a date.

Emsz have you considered rewording your ad? Something along the lines of “dungarees only accepted if worn with pigtails and freckles”?

DezB Oh my gosh, that was my date the other day, she’s a dental nurse, at first seemed ok, chatting away, but EVERY conversation eventually came back to where she worked, she had nothing to talk about apart from what was going on at her work!!

God, I was sooo bored 😳

So, what DOES a prospective date need to talk about, then???

Rachel

Rach, don’t mind a bit of work chat, but after the millionth sentence that starts ” at the practice the other day…” followed by some long dull story about patients or teeth or what someone said to someone else, it got a little bit boring.

Any way the answer is “me” of course!! LOL

Sounds like she needs to get out more !

Making conversation on a first date can be a bit like pulling teeth…..
In all seriousness, I’d suggest some pre prepared other appointment is always a good excuse so as not to hurt herfillings!

Have one of these installed. For you or her

Because nothing is nicer when you’re out on a first date and the other person has made plans beforehand for a little way into it. Just be honest, lying is pointless because no matter what excuse you make, they’ll think you’re lying anyway.

I’m 31 years old and I have no idea what a date is.

I just go out and have lots of fun with people I know, or have just met. Some are more fun that others, some I want to sleep with, some I want to be mates with.

What’s a date? Is it where you are trying to work out whether you have a long term future together as a couple? Or is it just the first step in getting to know someone?

If the latter, then it’s just a night out/coffee/meal etc, the same as with new friends as it is for potential partners, the rest will follow if it’s meant to.

I think some people put too much expectation on what’s supposed to come out of a date. Trying work out if you’re “compatible” in the space of a few hours in a contrived situation.

Not sure what the alternative is, but I just find the whole “dating” thing a bit odd.

I’d say mention the other appointment at the outset and then cancel or not if all’s going well. It’s a recommended safety policy for women on first dates and limits the time for both parties as you never know she might be just as bored as you but too polite to say so. It’s ok saying be honest but a) that’s not easy and b) dates are sometimes people who lack confidence so better politely let down than honestly told they haven’t passed your personal ‘not interesting enough to stop longer than an hour’ test. All IMHO of course.

I think any “trick” would be taken for what it really meant anyway unless they were thick as can be.

Not sure what i would do as lies are destructive but the truth may bea little harsh

Honesty in a relationship but first dates are not relationships and thus not going to be destroyed. Any sensible person knows you’re both testing the water so a short first date is usually a good idea and a common occurrence. I always fancied speed dating years ago when single but it was too new fangled for where I lived!

” at the practice the other day…”

Sounds familiar, i realised recently that 90% of my conversation openers start with “at work the other day…” or “TWATOS…”, hopefully what followed wasn’t boring the arse off the recipient but who knows. But then again I’m married with kids so have an excuse for having no social life.

Honesty without being rude (if possible) is your best bet, I (and plenty of other blokes) have difficulty with subtlety so you may have to be blunt if the message isn’t getting across, “sorry I’m not interested” is better than 20 different “sorry I’m cleaning my fishtank that day” excuses.

You can also get an app that lets you have a temporary number so you can screen them for a while without having to commit fully 🙂

i realised recently that 90% of my conversation openers start with “at work the other day…” or “TWATOS…”,

BS more than 10 % of your chat is about bikes

Since when does the truth have to be:

“Sorry, you dress like a clown, your hair is awful and you’re so boring I’ve been self harming with a broken glass under the table to keep myself awake””

It could just be

“Sorry, I don’t think we’re really hitting it off. You seem like a nice person but just not MY kind of person”

Job done. Nobody has their feelings too badly hurt.

You can also get an app that lets you have a temporary number so you can screen them for a while without having to commit fully

And they say romance is dead 😉

*cough* my girlfriend likes girls as well *cough*

BS more than 10 % of your chat is about bikes

work + STW = 90%, 10% other, altho that’s being generous to “other” 🙂

LoLing at you lot, I knew you’d cheer me up!

Mrnutt, I don’t have an Ad! I’ve not got to that state yet!!

Peeterfile, they were just ” let’s get to know each other” sort of dates.

First date was organised by mates, and second was just one of those spur of the moment things in a bar the other week!! She asked me out for drinks, and I though “why the hell not?” we didn’t really hit it off but there was no hard feelings, and we’re probably going to stay in touch as friends, ( facebooked her already, and she knows loads of the people I know as well ( small world!!)

Not in a rush to find a ” special person” really, just sort of dipping my toes into it

Good effort. Dipping my toes was always 5th or 6th date for me, unless I’ve misunderstood the euphemism 🙂 Just have fun and treat each one as a good reason to gest dresed up a little and meet someone. Oh and don’t say lol in person….. lol

and she knows loads of the people I know as well ( small world!!)

Which is why you should be honest and courteous with folk…you might end up on a date with someone they know next. You wouldn’t want them bad mouthing you to them.
This is all especially true for those who live in small towns or rural areas!

Is it rude just to say “look, you’re very dull, so I’m just leaving”

After being asked once “do you want to go?” I did say “yes”.

I’m normally pretty tolerant, but she’d just pissed me off by this point. Pretty and intelligent Spanish lass, but there was no way in hell I wanted to have any sort of relationship with her.

(Even just sleeping with her had gone out the window at this point)

…just sort of dipping my toes into it

I’m quite concerned. I find the idea of this quite arousing.

😕

Rach, don’t mind a bit of work chat, but after the millionth sentence that starts ” at the practice the other day…” followed by some long dull story about patients or teeth or what someone said to someone else, it got a little bit boring.

Any way the answer is “me” of course!! LOL

It could have been, “and this one time at band camp…”, followed by an interesting description of alternative uses or a flute… 😆

why on earth a good looking lesbian cyclist ladie hangs about on here I don’t know. I guess that makes stw ok after all?

.just sort of dipping my toes into it

got to be careful, you may give someone a bad dose of “athlete’s miffy”

Anyway, emsz, even if you’re just getting boring dates, you’re still doing better than me just lately!!! :-/

Rachel

why on earth a good looking lesbian cyclist ladie hangs about on here I don’t know. I guess that makes stw ok after all?

I think you’ll find a clue in the highlighted word.

I’m still trying to work out what a ladie is???

they have there bits n stuff those freaks.. anyway, dating, or meeting people that perhaps have the same point of view as you do is very difficult or not ordinary around here.

Well countero that would be true if she was a cyclict. As far as I can gather, the contribution of the OP to the Forum is clearly against the rules?

I’ve been on 3 dates since joining eharmony. Two of the people I met were as dull as dishwater, just sent them a text after saying it was nice meeting them but we were not compatible and wished them well.

Both of those were for dinner, but the third one I was more weary so I just organised coffee. Anyway, a one hour coffee turned in to a 5 hour chat, 2 of which were sat in her car outside the train station she was dropping me off at.

You can get into a lot of trouble for that type of thing in a car at a train station…

Rachel

Dating is suuuuch a pain.

True, but you just wait til you’re settled down and tied to one person. You’ll wish you’d done more dating… 😉

Rachel! 😈

It was all innocent 🙄

Simples. Get a reliable friend to ring one hour into the date. If the date is a frog then you have a polite excuse to leave to help a friend in need. If the date is a prince(ess) audibly fob your friend off and the prince(ess) will be impressed you got your priorities right.

there was a time when i became single after a very long relationship and i was like a kid in a sweet shop wanting to try all the flavours and it didn’t matter if they were boring because i only had one thing in mind, after about six months of this and some success i realised that the other person needed to be interesting too, this narrowed the field a bit. if they don’t do it for you in the first 30 mins once nerves have been settled i think it’s fair for both parties that you don’t string them along, just be polite and not nasty, tell the truth