slot badger
two pin din plug
bent ref
chimney bottler
shrub rocketeer

Sock cutter
or
mongtard

It’s what comes out in the heat of the moment that counts, in my case, when getting cut up at a roundabout earlier, it was dildo.

Much to the amusement of my nephew who was a passenger. 😀

Being cut up is great for the artistic juices.

I shouted ‘you ****ing arse burglar’ at someone whilst I was on speakerphone to the wife, much to her amusement

Watched a TV show about a young offenders programme in my local area where the inmates were using every insult and expletive imaginable to refer to each other with little effect. The worst curse words imaginable were being used with impunity.

Then one accused another of being a “Pure Daftie”.
30 seconds later the pool table was upside down , there were sirens blaring and multiple casualties.

Never refer to a 17 year old Weegie as a Daftie. They do not take it well.

Being scottish, I don’t need to piss around, I can call you a dick and you’ll feel as if you’ve had every other insult in the thread multiplied together and then concentrated. It’s just delivery really. Ya dick.

Spunk Trumpet as in ‘You utter Spunk Trumpet’

Also, Fecktard or Shitmong are also widely used around these here parts.

I was called a “Total Spaz Bucket” today.

No, i’ve not idea what that means either…….. 😆

crayon muncher

Remy **** (Remedial)
Inbred
Donkeys helmet
6 fingered retard
Web toed winky dribble
Remroid
Slack jawed cumguzzler
Cumsponge

Just off the top of my head

You Spastic!

Nothing can match the glorious heights of “Fud!” 😆

T@@T , said with a bit of venom .

Out with the uni club today, and we got cut up by a white van man. Most of us just stuck middle fingers up or quietly gritted teeth, but one guy bellowed from the back: “ARE YOU LITERALLY HITLER?!”

Proper lol @ perchypanther! 😆

Just watching the HBO series Deadwood. They must use the insult ‘****’ 50 times an episode. This is my favourite insult at the moment

Buttercup

“Needs a drop of thinners”

Seen on a wall in the portsmouth historic dockyard – i.e. he’s a bit thick.

Fud is very good. numpty I use but when I remember “thrombus” is good as it confuses folk. It means bloody clot or ” hope yer next craps a pineapple” to mouthy drivers

My youngest wrote ‘custard’ on the board in the kitchen the other day, only her ‘s’ looked more like an ‘n’ .

Winner.
As in “you’re a **** winner!”

My husband has just called me a stinky faggot…admittedly, with good reason 😳

“Muppet”, “Spanner” or “Doofus” – depending on how affectionately they’re being used.

(I’m the kind of sad coward who’ll just slink away if genuinely riled – and then think of a brilliant smack-down that I should have used half an hour later)

Twerp

You plum.

Said particularly vehemently.

Being scottish, I don’t need to piss around, I can call you a dick and you’ll feel as if you’ve had every other insult in the thread multiplied together and then concentrated. It’s just delivery really. Ya dick.

I think a Scottish accent is an ideal partner for insults and swear words. You’d probably be safe to use the majority of the insults posted on this thread, and still sound credible.
I’m not sure how I’d feel if someone called my a “cockwomble” in a whiney, slightly posh, southern accent. Not insulted though.

I need to note some of these to call prisoners at work.

‘Buffoon’ is a fave, as is ‘arsewipe’

Div
Ringpiece
Tool
Cock
Tosser

Start with ‘F***ing’ or ‘C***ing’ when appropriate.

It’s a bit long but….

You empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

It’s multicultural too as you can do it with a silly French accent.

I quite like “prat” and “pillock” too. I’m really trying to keep the mouthiness rained in though. I’m not sure it really helps anyone.

shitlips

Moop!

Berk is an underused classic.
Chimp seems to be favoured at my workplace ATM.
Nothing wrong with a straight to the point ‘****’ either 😉

‘I am most displeased’

Russian and Yiddish are a fertile ground for colourful insults, “Yob tvoyiu mat!” basically “go (have sexual relations with) your mother” is pretty good, “putz, yutz, schmuck, schmoo” are short and to the point.
****-wit and shit-for-brains are my two most-used
http://www.youswear.com/?language=Russian

I tend to favour “cretinous little muppet” in most cases – anything stronger is reserved for morons in tin cans who have just tried to kill me…

“Richard”head if I’m being dismissive, or F’ing “Richard”head. See You Next Tuesday if I mean it – the brevity and the shock elevate it to having impact in almost any situation, even in a country that practically uses four letter words as punctuation.

Felcher

Bellwhiff

I’m liking “Yer Da sells Avon” at the moment.

Douche Canoe.