Can a relationship work without contact / sex?

Grips don’t lower the tone!

All (normal) men and women have a healthy interest in sex.

She may not have that sexual interest in you but it will be there.

Depends on which week innit.

Isn’t that what the back door is for?

There’s also your right hand man but best to clean up any mess afterwards – especially if in her hair.

Ok ok to clarify the question.

Sex life was good. Kids came. Sex life not so good.
Man still wants and needs. Woman is disintersted and unmotivated.

Both see it as a problem in relationship but woman not wanting to make the effort of counselling etc as she actually getting what she wants at the moment. The Man has given more and more leeway, stepped back, taken pressure away etc etc but to no avail.

So does the man wait for eternity in the vain hope that one day she may make an effort or jump ship on an otherwise good relationship?

(Yes, I know the irony of calling this a good relationship)

At risk of a cliche I’d say shes prime for someone to show her attention, be attentive, presents and compliments. Shes only human. Rather than bicker etc- woo her.

Tell her you’re leaving – you’ll see how important compromise or change is to her then

He needs to let her know how unhappy he is – How long has it been going on? how old are the kids. Ultimatum – counselling to explore what is wrong or I’m out of there?

Frequency of sex will always alter as the relationship alters but that sounds very unhealthy to me.

I bet its a two way process tho. She feels unloved and unwanted. Post natal depression?

Isn’t that what the back door is for?

No, it’s for sh*tting and farting out of.

I bet its a two way process tho. She feels unloved and unwanted.

+1 for this. Try and work out why she doesn’t want sex. (caution may involve really getting to understand the partner, quite alien territory for some).

Yep I’ve watched embarrassing bodies… you sure there isn’t something else going on…

No, it’s for sh*tting and farting out of.

Homophobe.

Been there, tried it and divorced twice. Get out now while the going is good, the longer you wait without compromise will breed animosity. You said it yourself she is getting what she wants so why change but what do you get from this relationship?

Sometimes it’s as simple as a self esteem thing, often after kids wonmenn feel unattractive which does the libido no favours at all.

This twice a day girl that was mentioned – What’s her phone number!?

It may sound great but it really was a pain. You can keep that shit up for a few months but after a while you don’t feel like their lover, you just feel like you are some sort of dildo (in a bad way! stop sniggering at the back).

That said, it has changed my attitude towards all of the women I have dated since in a very positive way as I now know what it is like to live with an overbearing sexual predator in my midst.

hora why have you decided from the sparse information that she still wants to but with someone else and it is fault for ebing inattentive as he needs to woo her 😯
I think you may be reading too much into to little info I dont think the OP asked whose fault it was and dont think apportioning blame will help.

double post

joolsburger – Member
Sometimes it’s as simple as a self esteem thing, often after kids wonmenn feel unattractive which does the libido no favours at all.

This. It’s no better when you get the impression they are doing it just to shut you up either, it’s such a turn off imo.

It’s pointless trying to get accurate advice here.

What you do depends on many things, but all you are going to read here are somewhat useful/unuseful polarised opinions.

Follow your instinct.

I would say that in a lot of relationships women are too knackered for sex: Often on top of having jobs they do the bulk of the childcare, and worst of all most of the boring repetitive jobs in the house like cooking and cleaning….I know some women are a bit mental about having a house so clean you can eat off the floor, but you can do worse IMO than coming home early, cooking a nice meal and tidying up afterwards. 😈

Perhaps some clever person should link this thread to mumsnet to get a female perspective.

Its can be a difficult situation especially if you have a child (special needs0 who refuses to sleep my himself, or if he does doesn’t stay there if he wakes, so its a sort of enforced separate sleeping arrangement that over the years has become the norm, also resentment does creep in and then a mutual dislike and a brave face put on because of kids house and money.

Yes a sexless relationship is pretty daming…so a friend tells me!

Oh, and move the bikes out of the bedroom for a few hours!! 😮

Very interesting discussion. All very one sided tho’. Not wanting sex is a very complex issue, not just physical urges but psychological, chemical and emotional. Respect and enjoyment from sex is so difficult to get right in the long term. Companionship develops so sex becomes less important, just have it with another partner. Relate and those services are useful.
Unlike some of you, I don’t think relationships are based on sex.

teaboy not getting much then 😉

Sex does not have to be or should not be the basis of any relationship, it should though be an integral part of it.

Stoner, I don’t know who teaboy is. My thoughts based on my work and my understanding of human nature.

i know a couple (together 30 years) never had penetrative sex.

is that what your mum told you 😉

More importantly, are you allowed all the boys toys you can afford and do you get to go biking regularly.

Life is too short to focus on primitive drives and outdated institutions. Are you getting your outdoors rocks off?!

I read recently the average UK couple ****s once a month. How depressing

too right. Who the hell’s getting my January, February, March, April, July, August, October and Xmas shags?>!>??!! That’s what I want to know!

I’m skewing the figures greatly. 😀