Brushes with D-List Celebrites

You left him that way? Despite clear instructions to the contrary?

😆

Took Ben Shepherd out riding in Spain while he was filming Holiday. When it was screened a friend’s wife apparently recognised my legs and backside.

Ben actually came back out twice on holiday with his girlfriend to kitesurf. Both him and his missus were lovely.

Well -as fate would have it…. I’ve just had an email from the BBC offering me a role that would have made me an obscure celebrity. Gave it 30 seconds consideration then turned it down. 🙂

Held the toilet door open for Phil Redmond at a friend’s wedding.

Met Alan Ball and Jimmy Hill the night before my wedding. It seems Southampton were playing Sheffield United the next day.

Nodded a hello to Danny Murphy on New Year’s Eve once. He was playing the next day, and was going out for a run.

I used to deliver newspapers to Hilda Ogden’s house in Southport.
Kissed Lisa Stanfield in a Nightclub in Nottingham before she was famous.
Keith Harris (of Orville &Cuddles) is a family friend and thoroughly lovely chap.
When I was in the RAF I have met various members of the Royal Family. Best was the Queen Mum.
Had a Pint with Neil Ruddock in the Grapes Pub in Formby when he played for LFC. He was arseholed.
At a night out in Liverpool my mate Barry punched this guy in the chops
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny_Cadamarteri
Proper LOL moment

friend’s wife apparently recognised my legs and backside.

The greatest, most fantastic person who was famous that I knew was this guy
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ian_Moir_(footballer)
Ian was a fireman at BNFL Capenhurst in Cheshire.(as a footballer in the 60s he didn’t earn much) His stories were superb, a true gentleman and lovely man.
His best story was the one about his time at Manchester United. Ian was sold and a new forward was brought in to replace him. That forward was George Best.

I met Joe Gladwyn outside Mount Carmel Church in Blackley, must have been about five.
Gave me 50p, told me to say my prayers and made me laugh.
Very smartly dressed, nice bloke.

Went for a few pints with Dan Walsh, the motorbike traveller one, after randomly bumping into him on Deansgate.

My mum was mates with Nobby Styles’ mum.
Met her loads, never met Norbert.

My mate’s brother was the manager of the Inspiral Carpets.
Never met them either, or saw them live.

maccruiskeen – Member
Well -as fate would have it…. I’ve just had an email from the BBC offering me a role that would have made me an obscure celebrity. Gave it 30 seconds consideration then turned it down.

Are they resurrecting Changing Rooms?
Are you the new Handy Andy?
Creating some monstrous wonder out of MDF for some curly haired fop to paint purple and sparkle with glitter?

Flat-pack Macc?

In the early 90s I went on a trip to Wembley to watch the Great Britain Rugby League Team get beaten by the Australians in the World Cup Final. One of our group (friend of a friend) was a current GB player who was out due to injury.

We were sat on the very back row at one end and were extremely drunk. An Aussie in the crowd in front of us had spotted the GB player in our party and throughout the course of the game had taken the piss out of him. Come the final hooter the Aussie went into abuse overdrive, at which point the unnamed player advised that we should all leg it, then he punched the Aussie with sufficient force to propel him over a couple of rows of seats leaving just his legs sticking up.

Afterwards we blagged our way into the Wembley Hilton for the after match party and I got to meet Mal Meninga and hold the trophy, but I was too bladdered to properly recall the encounter.
The day was rounded off by witnessing Paul Eastwood (Hull player) do a forwards roll over a barrier at Wembley Park station, puke up, and fall in it.

The player in our party didn’t come with us as he had been offered a “Somerville” by a very nice lady from the Chanel 9 Australian TV crew and apparently they banged like a shed door in a gale until the following day. He told me this during a bruising session of Stag-Do full contact Laser Quest a couple of weeks later.

Happy days.

Are they resurrecting Changing Rooms?

Funnily enough a lot of my workshop kit has had its moment in the spotlight (well two series worth) – complete with my initials in sharpie on everything but I stuck to coaching the ‘DIY Experts’ from behind the camera.

No – this is role requiring a cape!

…offered a “Somerville”…

And so, ladies and gentlemen, we witness the birth of a new euphemism!

Porn star

Collective Stroke

???

And so, ladies and gentlemen, we witness the birth of a new euphemism

Only if given by a Louise

*sigh* Louise Somerville…..

Are they resurrecting Changing Rooms?

A good mate of mine worked for a large London publishing house. When he had book launches on in Manchester he’d stay out ours (and we’d spend his claimed expenses on…erm.. other ‘stuff’). So we’d invariably end up going out and getting absolutely hammered and staying up til daft o clock

It was quite amusing the next morning seeing who was in the back of the chauffeur driven limo that pulled up outside our gaff in the morning to pick him up, as I bundled my still-half-pissed mate out. Last time it was Gorden Ramsey. But we had Laurence Llewelyn Bowen. He signed me a book. When asked ‘could you sign a book for my mate?, he wrote on the first page “suck my cock! It’s Blackpool rock! – Laurence Llewelyn Bowen”

Got a lift to a nightclub with Louise Hobkinson* in her beetle back in the 80’s

* Topless model and film actress

Dragged John cooper Clarke round Mumbles trying to find a cafe that served cappuccino before such things had reached south wales

Edit – also ended up with a few pissed surfers drinking in officers mess of RAF St Mawgan all in search of said Louise – her dad was Wing Commander and took it all in his stride, being the step father of a 16yo with 36G bust I now know how he must have felt 😳

Sat on a plane from London to Manc next to John Thompson (Fat Bob, Niiiccceeee). He spilled his Vodka and tonic on me and then fell asleep.
On another flight from Manc to London, had Harry Redknapp sat in front, think Spurs had been at City.
Chatted to guy Martin for about 15 minutes at Mayhem when I was handing over in the pits and he was waiting for his mate to come in ~2011? Good job my mate was late that lap!

Got a lift from Chris Woods (Traffic) whilst hitchhiking as a teenager.
Chatted with Scott Gorham (Thin Lizzy) on a flight to LA, very funny story teller.
Ran into Kelly Slater just before the Bells contest in 1992, he went on to his first world championship that year. Nice young man and happy to be photographed with my kids.
Chatted with Jeremy Corbyn in the Midland hotel’s Octagon Room after the vigil the other week. He also swopped stories with my stepson about his son getting into university.
Met John Cooper Clarke in a hotel In Guildford last year, was thrilled as I’ve been a fan since seeing him endlessly in Manchester in the 70s.

I’ve had dinner with both Jonathan Aitken and Perry McCarthy (1st Stig) had good chats with both.

Waiting for a late running Gatwick Express with William Hague after he was leader of the Tories – I vaguely chatted with him but he was more interested in his copy of The Economist. When the train came I started to follow him into First Class but thought better of it fortunately.

Oh, oh ! Got another.

Back in the 80s when I was a student I worked part time in a supermarket in North Manchester. We used to get a few local celebs through the doors (mostly Piccadilly Radio types – Umberto anyone? ) and one of our regulars, already mentioned on here, was a famously confused punk scene survivor.

The student workers all thought he was brilliant, but the old timers just didn’t “get him”. He had a habit of not using a basket and would just turn up at your checkout with an armful of stuff that he would dump on the belt then he would go about turning out all of his pockets in his leather jacket, disgorging all sorts of fluff, rubbish and groceries. Once, one eagle eyed trainee manager had been viewing him with suspicion and grabbed him on the way out. The subsequent, and rather public, frisking revealed that he hadn’t paid for a tomato. There was a threat of calling the police etc, but one of the Saturday girls stepped in and said “Do you know who this is? He’s confused! He’s not going to buy all of this stuff and pinch a tomato!” Meanwhile, the celeb is mumbling “yeah man, I’m confused me”.

The manager let him off, but barred him. The prat. After that all of us students hated him for it.

The celeb in question started coming back in a few months later and continued to shop in his unique fashion, often mentioning tomatoes and Nazis.

We had Mick Hucknall in too. He didn’t pinch anything, but he did wear a yellow tartan suit and carried a walking cane.

Ralph Inseion ( in the Office, GOT etc) was my Form Teacher.
Also went to 6th form College with Shed Severn.

My wife’s friends cousin is the body double for Daenerys Targaryen in GOT.

D-list enough?

My daughter’s partner reversed into Edmund Hilary at the start of his driving test while working in New Zealand. Edmund Hilary was quite nice about it but my daughter’s partner failed his test.

Late 80s I was seeing a student at Worcester Uni. We were on our way back to her room when we turned a corner to climb the stairs where we were faced with one of her flat mates indulging in full, robust, beast with two backs with the lead singer of the band who’d been playing at the Uni that night. Seeing Buster Bloodvessel on the vinegar strokes is not something you forget in a hurry.

My wife’s friends cousin is the body double for Daenerys Targaryen in GOT.

Your wife’s friend’s cousin’s boyfriend / husband [edit] is a very lucky man.

woffle – Member
My wife’s friends cousin is the body double for Daenerys Targaryen in GOT.

D-list enough?

Double! 😀

Buster Bloodvessel on the vinegar strokes

Gunz – Member
Got Party Finger from Liz Kendall MP in my mate’s bathroom when I was 16. I like to think it was this that inspired her to challenge Jeremy Corbyn at the leadership election.

POSTED 7 HOURS AGO # REPORT-POST

Hope it is as rude as it sounds. Care to elaborate?

I’ve been in the same toilets at Leeds Bradford Airport with the Keiser Chiefs

I went to a house party where there was an actress on Corrie Street before she was in Corrie

I’ve been in a night club in Derby when Barbara Windsor turned up

There are a few soap actors where we live. I think one of them is called Bob Hope. He sometimes enters our local quiz.
The other one I know is Naomi Radcliff, she’s a member of our local WI.

I won’t name names, but a long term actor in Corrie once came back to my mates with us, after we sort of adopted him on a bonkers night in Paradise Factory. He proceeded to hoover industrial sized lines of chop off the coffee table all night, and talk bollocks, before staggering off into the night.

Shortly afterwards his nocturnal antics were all over the front pages of the Sunday tabloids.

Actually, that gives you a few options to go at, as to his identity

I was in the year below half of Groove Armada at school. He was freakishly tall, and very musically talented. I wonder if I’ve still got the tape of the “album” the school drama geeks did of their musical version of the Three Musketeers on which he played bass? Might be worth something… then again…

I’ve dealt with a number of minor to middling celebs in a professional capacity in a previous career which is possibly cheating a bit so rather than reeling off the whole list, the notable points are:

For a trade unionist who went to prison for his principles, Ricky Tomlinson can be an rude, arrogant prick.

One of Sean Bean’s many ex-wives is also an arrogant tw*t.

Ralph Ineson is a lovely bloke, very funny, and that very gravelly voice makes a bit more sense when you’ve discerned a certain kind of aroma emanating from his smoke-filled trailer..

And Tascha de Vasconcelos is just as wonderful as she sounds / looks.

Oh yeah, and Alfred Molina (might be stretching D-list more than a little here actually) commented on the quality of my fountain pen (not a euphemism).

Steve Scott

He even has wiki page, so he’s got be at least a D or even a C.

Blaise Castle, Bristol

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/profiles/175fsCr0rGkHVTGrzm4fC/nicholas-mitchell

Nicholas has been involved with the Antiques Roadshow since the mid-1980s.

Shot a couple of rounds of archery with him. I wish asked about any goss on …..

As someone said, there’s a significant number of people mentioned who are a bit higher up the celebrity food-chain than a ‘D-List’!
D-List I consider to be someone whose pretty much famous for being famous, having become well-known through some cruddy ‘reality-show’, or getting their photo into crappy newspapers on a regular basis, usually by getting ’em out for the lads.
The name Kardashian springs lightly to mind here…

There’s actually a whole other list that I’d forgotten of a certain subset of British celebs from the late seventies – mid eighties pro-celeb sport and dinner set.

My parents were both qualified cricket umpires which was quite a novelty (mum was one of the very first women umpires to qualify, and coming as part of an umpiring couple was unique) so they officiated at a few pro-celeb cricket matches, Lords Taverners type things. I got many an autograph as a nipper, but as they were generally of the older generation, by and large I didn’t have a clue who they were. The ones I do remember though, cos I actually recognised them, probably qualify:

Sir Jimmy the Nonce (I mentioned this on the “infamous” thread already)
Cannon and Ball
Barbara Windsor
Some, but not all, of the Grumbleweeds.

Oh hang on, I’ve remembered yet another one! I’m only just realising that I’m spending my life contriving unimpressive encounters with unimpressive “celebrities” – I went for a kebab with Black Lace (of “Agadoo” fame note) in about 1993/4ish. Not sure which lineup (I think that band’s had more lineup changes than Deep Purple). There may have been badly bleached mullets involved (not mine!)

Bought a house from Jane Cox (Ma Dingle in Emmerdale) – bizarrely her partner came from Castle Douglas, and I could remember him from when I lived there. Nice folk.

Played in a band in Coventry in the mid 90’s – we rehersed in the same warehouse studio as The Special AKA. They used to rock up in a big old heavily chromed chevy as we were leaving, passed the time of day and seemed decent blokes.

D-List I consider to be someone whose pretty much famous for being famous, having become well-known through some cruddy ‘reality-show’

Back when I was a student I shared a house with 5 other guys. Fairly regularly a bloke used to pop round for a chat and cuppa and sometimes to show us a CD of his new album or single, sometimes to show us a cutting of a review in the NME that he was particularly proud of – it basically named the band and the title then filled the rest of the column with “**** **** **** **** ****…….” (damned swear filer – rhymes with Tank)

Anyway one day after he’d left one of the other housemates asked me ‘so, how do you Dean?’

‘err – I don’t. I though you knew him’

We’d all assumed someone knew him. Non of us did.

Anyway years pass. And in a time before free view and PVR to give better entertainment options I was watching the final of the 2rd series of Big Brother. Having watched a fair bit of the series over the previous 10 weeks it wasn’t until the closing minutes of the last episode as there were just 3 people left in the house and the winner was about to be announced when I suddenly got a flash of recognition..’hang on, isn’t that Dean?’

Brian Hibbard
Tony Robinson
Trevor Eve
Benedict Cumberbatch
Sir David Lean
HRH Princess Anne
Alec Guinness
Anthony Quinn
Jack Hawkins
Anthony Quayle
Claude Rains
Omar Sharif
Peter O’Toole
(You might of guessed I was in Lawrence of Arabia)
Rod Holbrook
Peter Calpadi and he sidekick.
British Gas budgie advert.
Frances Barr MBE
Chris Dawson (Range Owner)