Brushes with D-List Celebrites

Bumped into Jason Donovan backstage when I worked bar at the local theatre. Also went to infant, junior and secondary school with James Corden, think I was in his class, certainly the same year. Shared the stage with him a couple of times in school productions. Quite like Gavin and Stacey but don’t remember him being any funnier than the other kids at school.

I played football on Bridlington beach with the Stone Roses.

I asked Johnny Dean from Menswear for directions to his band’s gig in Cologne.

In 1995, I asked Lee Mavers where he’d been for the last 5 years – his reply was ‘in bed’.

Got Party Finger from Liz Kendall MP in my mate’s bathroom when I was 16. I like to think it was this that inspired her to challenge Jeremy Corbyn at the leadership election.

😯

I don’t even know what that is but it sounds wrong.

I did have the chance of ‘relations’ with someone who went on to serve as an MP but ‘events, dear boy’ meant that I never did introduce them to the honourable member.

I’d love to tell you what the events were but it might bring down the government

I cant say I’ve even ever met any celeb, not even a D list one.. nearest is seeing one of my employees giving directions to someone once and he came back and said it was Paul Daniels & Debbie Mcgee.

Only other thing that could count is that I was having a piss in the local pub… the guy stood doing the same next to me was the very drunk brother of prob the most famous British Actress at present.. he looked at me, said ‘Youright mate’ then proceeded to slide down the stainless steel urinal falling into the trough 😆

wilburt – Member

Oh yes, I once went out with a girl who was a sperm in one of the monty python movies.

Should wilbert win an award for this. Brilliant

D List you say? My barber also trims a barnet belonging to Piers Courage’s son.

I was once cock-blocked by a certain text vote television Saturday night TV host, we went to the same sixth form and used to drink in the same pub. We bumped into one another on an evening out when I was escorting a date who was rather taken with him. He’s shorter than he looks on television though.

I was once given a singing lesson by Carrie and David Grant off of Fame Academy. Oh, and some team building thing by John Emburey.

Got Party Finger from Liz Kendall MP in my mate’s bathroom when I was 16.

This wins.

I like to think it was this that inspired her to challenge Jeremy Corbyn at the leadership election.

No doubt. She owes it all to you.

Not to be confused with Labour Party Finger which is where you get a bit confused and massively overestimate your digits.

I lived in a squat next door to Mike Baldwin (Coronation Street), but never saw him.

I had a pint with Reginald D Hunter in Cork and he gave me a phone number to call for free tickets to his gig. Phoned it the next day and it was a made up number!

I stood in a queue for a cash point (also in Cork) behind Jimmy Carr.

I don’t even know what that is but it sounds wrong.

Sounds like a game of cluedo – The shadow minister, in the bathroom, with the sponge fingers

I’d love to tell you what the events were but it might bring down the government

Are you a severed pigs head?

Lets be honest though – a sneeze would bring down the government just now.

Aren’t D-list celebs ones you’ve never heard of?

In that case, at Easter I was stood in a queue for a rollercoaster at Port Aventura when lots of teenage girls became very excited and started having selfies taken with a band of fairly ordinary looking youngsters right in front of me. They turned out to be Spanish Youtubers, who were nice enough to explain when I asked them “who are you?”

Oh, and “big” Ron Atkinson. I stood behind him in the queue at an airport check-in. He’s about an inch taller than me, and I’m a short arse.

Oh, and some team building thing by John Emburey.

That would be interesting. I played against him once (except he didn’t play, he was player coach for the team we played and was either injured or ‘left out’)

Interesting because I don’t remember such liberal use of the f’ word and how well that would translate to the corporate environment.

Aparently he holds the record for the longest sentence that includes full construction but only one (stem)word in various guises; when asked how his finger was after being hit on it delivered the pithy statement “****’ fecker’s ****’ fecked”

One of my teachers made several appearances on either ‘Thats Life’ or ‘Nationwide’ (or perhaps both) playing the piano whilst standing on his head.

Interesting because I don’t remember such liberal use of the f’ word and how well that would translate to the corporate environment.

He was well behaved, as I recall. It was the usual corporate nonsense, so I switched the subject to cricket. The first test match I ever watched was the Ashes at Edgbaston, and he made a 50, which he quickly pointed out was actually 55 not out. I’m pretty sure I was the only person in the group who knew who he was.

My (very young) kids were playing with some other kids of about the same age while we were waiting for a flight back from the south of France. Then their dad appeared and it was Robbie Savage. He couldn’t conceivably have looked more like a stereotypical Premiership footballer, but got chatting to him and he was a lovely bloke

Lenny Henry used to stay in the hotel I worked in so much that he came to the staff parties, lovely guy.
Related, Dawn French stayed at the same hotel but was not very nice at all.
I served room service to Sara Cox, her room stank of weed.
Lee Sharpe (ex Man Utd winger) is from my home town and is occasionally seen in the local pub.
I shared tuts and knowing glances with Adrian Chiles on a packed train from Brum to The Hawthornes.

Meanwhile, over on premiershipfootballertrackworld………

robbiesavage – Member

My (very young) kids were playing with some other kids of about the same age while we were waiting for a flight back from the south of France. Then their dad appeared and it was Binners. You couldn’t conceivably have looked less like a stereotypical Premiership footballer, but got chatting to him, and he was a lovely bloke

I spent a day working with this nice lady. [nsfw]

I shared tuts and knowing glances with Adrian Chiles on a packed train from Brum to The Hawthornes.

I can’t think of Adrian Chiles now without thinking of Stewart Lee’s description of him

Oh, I forgot, my cousin is the (apparently) reasonably well known porn star Daisy Giggle, I believe she has retired now. I don’t see her much but she’s lovely, although her dress and demeanour nearly gave the old blokes at my wedding a collective stroke.

I’ve done a gig with the chap who voices ‘Tony the Tiger’, amongst many other things…

I once saw Jim Kerr & Patsy Kensit having a big row on Oxford Street.

Did she forget about him, despite clear instructions?

Once saw Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith sitting outside at a bar in Benalmadena.

She was dog rough and had filthy feet.

Years ago i worked as a chef in Port Solent in Portsmouth, cooked for Paul Daniels, Debbie McGee and Linda Lusardi (doing panto), but the best i remember was Kelly McGillis from Top Gun, she was lovely and stayed and bought all the staff an after hours drink, our kitchen porter, a orangemen Glaswegian called Ian did lick her dirty plate, just so he could say he’d shared saliva with her!!

orangemen Glaswegian

Top Hun?

I can’t think of Adrian Chiles now without thinking of Stewart Lee’s description of him

If you go on twitter theres a whole world dedicated to descriptions of Adrian Chiles

My favourite: Adrian Chiles … with your face like a sellotaped bawbag

Adrian Chiles … with your face like a sellotaped bawbag

Adrian Chiles …..with your face that looks like it was set on fire and someone stamped it out wearing a golf shoe and then let a burglars’ dog sit on it while it was still warm.

I gave John Graham a lift from Matter at the O2 to The Ministry Of Sound many years ago. This means very little unless you know a bit about dance music, so he could be classed as D list in the real world.

martinhutch – Member
Did she forget about him, despite clear instructions?

😆

We were looking round the house at Ightham Moat with a chap who had his hat pulled low to disguise the fact that he was Jools Holland. When we got to the chapel he removed the hat and the game was up!

My kids lightly bugged him and his missus all the way round and he was very good natured about it. They had no clue who he was, but chose to lightly bug him anyway. Probably because of his hat.

His car was less than inconspicuous.

I had buckets of gunk and custard pies thrown at me by lenny henry and the phantom flan flinger on tiswas on Saturday morning tv.

oh, and I once politely turned down a blow job from Jimmy Sommerville of that there communards / bronski beat in a nightclub toilets in london

oh, and I once politely turned down a blow job from Jimmy Sommerville of that there communards / bronski beat in a nightclub toilets in london

You left him that way? Despite clear instructions to the contrary?

You’d started a fire deep down in his soul and you couldn’t see that it was burning out of control?

What’s up with you? Not wearing your best undies?

Ryan Shawcross’s dad, (footballer) rescued me in his recovery truck when my van broke down. Twice actually, as he tried to fix it but it didn’t work.

I gave Ellie off the Telly directions to my brother wedding. I won’t name drop him though as he’s on here so hardly D list.

I bumped (literally) into the guy who plays Mr Tumble in Heathrow airport. We took a selfie together and my daughter was extremely impressed but disappointed that I didn’t investigate the contents of his magic bag.

Wise move on your part.

I used to babysit Ryan Giggs and younger brother Rhodri.

The mum was lovely. Dad a bellend of the highest pitch.

Sat at a table in The Midland in Manchester oblivious to the fact it was reserved. Russ Abbot very politely pointed out that it was.

Sat and drank “Wimbledon Specials” with Johnny Briggs (Mike Baldwin) in a bar in Manchester.