Am I being a snob?

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  • Am I being a snob?
  • HTTP404
    Member

    My daughter didn’t get into the school of our choice. And so what? there are a fair few parents with an excessive number of tatoos, sporting the Croydon facelift, smoking and taking their little 5 year olds (with pierced ears, skinhead haircuts) to school in the morning. But there are some “normal” people too.
    But what’s really niggled me is the discovery of a boy ridiculously named “Blade”. That not being bad enough I discover her sister is called “Trinity”.
    oh ffs … we are now looking at commiting financial suicide and investigating the option of private education.
    The new bike purchase is going on hold. 🙁

    aP
    Member

    The new private schools are people sending their children to the local state school and getting extra tuition or spending the money saved on worthwhile things to help them.

    TandemJeremy
    Member

    Private schools IMO don’t provide a well balanced and well rounded education in the way that comprehensives do. At a comprehensive you learn life skills ( dealing with chavs?) rather more than you would at a private school.

    Academically ( according to my father – a retired school inspector) most kids do the same at private or state schools – at the very top they might get stretched more – those who are in the middle do worse – as they are left struggling at the bottom of the class in private schools but would be comfortably in the middle in state schools.

    I went to a comprehensive in Glasgow. I got bullied and was given the option of of going private. I stayed at the state school and I still think I made the correct decision.

    YTou pays your money and takes your choice.

    Premier Icon Stoner
    Subscriber

    Private schools IMO don’t provide a well balanced and well rounded education

    Biggest load of twaddle you’ve ever spouted (and there’s some stiff contenders in your back catalogue).

    Stop getting your opinions from Tom Brown’s schooldays, otherwise Ill just have to start citing Grange Hill with respect to my opinion of comprehensives.

    “dealing with chavs”: a vital life skill necessary for developing a well rounded education? FFS? grow up and get that chip off you shoulder.

    Premier Icon cRaNkEnStEin
    Subscriber

    I had two cats, brother and sister, called “Axel” and “Rosie”.

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    Just change your kid’s name to Morpheus and she’ll fit right in.

    TandemJeremy
    Member

    Stoner – that is not my opinion but that of someone who has been in education at a senior level for 40 yrs – a real expert. There is more to schooling than acedemic results. A more rounded and balanced education – a big generalisation but in large it holds true.

    coffeeking
    Member

    Again I hate to agree with TJ (twice in a week!?) but generalisations and stereotypes tend to come from a real trend.

    HTTP404
    Member

    There is more to schooling than acedemic results

    You’re joking right? I’m not sending my kids to school to turn-out like the artful dodger.

    juan
    Member

    I went to a comprehensive in Glasgow. I got bullied

    Now I do understand better…

    Easy there stoner if your not careful you mght look like the one with the chip on the shoulder.
    No doubt good priate schools provide a better academic education and make your child much more likely to acieve a higher earning career later in life. Having taught at Uni’s as well as schools I can tel you that it is easy to spot privately educated kids as they are much more confident in there views (to the point of arrogance) even if they are wrong.
    I wouldnt want to comment any further cause I have a large portion of chips with extra gravy on my shoulder.

    Out of interest have you looked at the schools results and made a decsion based on that?

    andym
    Member

    What’s a Croydon facelift?

    I_Ache
    Member

    In my experience and I apparently went to one of the best comps in birmingham state schools are a load of crap. The teachers through no fault of their own have no authority and definitely no respect. The kids have no real guidance through problems that may arise with school subjects and other issues. I genuinely feel that my school let me down with my education an I didnt get to do subjects that I would have excelled at and instead was forced into doing things that I was rubbish at and ended up with a bitter taste in my mouth and bad results.

    By contrast my wife went to private school and thought it was great.

    We will be trying to send both of our kids to private schools as we want to give them the best possible educational start in life.

    yossarian
    Member

    people called jeremy always get bullied at school, call it natural selection if you will…

    TandemJeremy
    Member

    There is more to education than gaining acedemic qualifications.

    I am absolutly sure that the life experiences I gained at school have stood me in good stead all my life.

    I come from a nice comfy middleclass family and we lived in a comfy middle class enclave. I am sure that the contact with people for other backgrounds was extremely useful to me – interestingly one of my friends who came from a working class family (but went to the same school) would rather have gone to the private school. As he lived in the council housing and had all the working class folk as neighbours he feels he did not need that wider life experience in the way that perhaps was useful to me.

    Check your private school very carefully – private schools vary greatly in the quality of their education – from appalling to good same as state schools.

    My school had and still does have the best facilities of any school in the city – better than the private ones by far.

    jobbyheid
    Member

    TJ bullied at school, now it all becomes clear… ;o)

    joe1983
    Member

    I went to a private school (scholarship) and loved it, my brother went to the local comp and also loved it. Both went to good uni’s and I would say are pretty well rounded individuals (most of the time). I would say that the chances of your child are much more heavily influenced by your input and attitudes than the school they go to. However, I have a few friends who teach, most of which in local comps and even though they are very good teachers their main gripe is that half the time they are social workers not teachers. Not all comps are made equal though, some are great, some aren’t, and the same can be said for the private sector.

    jobbyheid
    Member

    I agree with TJ

    coffeeking
    Member

    By contrast my wife went to private school and thought it was great.

    By contrast I went to one of the average comps in my area, did great, enjoyed it, teachers had a decent level of control and respect and I came out a decent (I think!) human with useful grad and post-grad qualifications. There’s datapoints on all sides, it’s pointless quoting one way or the other.

    My comp school let me find my own way and supported me, didn’t force me to do subjects I didnt want to and had a decent selection of things I wanted to do. From that school (which had been lowest in the area 3 years before I got there) I and a large number of my friends got into one of the top 4 colleges in the country with no problems. The school had its fair share of idiots that would tie cats to train tracks and set fire to them, parents who’d turn up at the gates with cigs and chips for their kids etc, but the teachers had control and the head was very much in command.

    You can’t simply say “state schools are all crap and private schools are better” – thats not the case, they fall either side of the line and you need to inspect the school for what it is, not it’s badge. I know a few mates who’ve been private schooled and in general they tend to have supreme self confidence, be very good in “upper class” situations (black tie events, giving presentations, etc etc) and use that confidence to deal with chavs pretty well, though they tend to show very little compassion to the “lower classes”. I know of at least one that has been seriously let down by their school and had to be removed from it (learning difficulties) and was essentially shunned for struggling.

    ridethelakes
    Member

    Private school all the way for my child when he comes (4 weeks to go!).

    As HTTP404 hinted at, it’s not so much the standard of education, its the other kids that they have to mix with and the way they were brought up. I think it’s possible that teaching standards aren’t that much different between state and your average private but thats just a small part of of a childs education.

    I went to both private and state schools (parents got skint in the last recession) and the difference was incredible. From classes of 16 in private I was in a class of 30, relief teachers seemed to outnumber permanent teachers and doing well at school was something to be embarrased about. Pretty sure I would be a bit further ahead in life had I stayed at the private school.

    Last point, those that think private schools are full of hooray henry types, it’s not actually true. Maybe at Eton etc but at most of the other independant schools they’re just ordinary kids whose parents either have money, or like in my parents case and just as common, didn’t have any money but made sacrifices to give the best to their child.

    jobbyheid
    Member

    In response to the original question, yes.

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    I learned to deal with scuzzbuckets at my comprehensive school, and I managed it. It was however very stressful and quite depressing. After I got to university and ended up in a professional career, I’ve not really needed those skills and I do feel relieved that I don’t have to worry so much about it.

    Most of my friends at school were laid back country folk who didn’t care much about academic achievement, and at the time I was grateful for the change of perspective. However now I wish I’d had an environment which encouraged me to achieve more – but not in the form of external pressure. If I’d known more people who were into science or technology (or even economics and business) and I had the opportunity to pursue those things, I’d have got more done and probably have achieved more in life by now.

    I could however have got the stimulation and indulgence I needed at home or outside of school tho. That may even have been better than doing things in school.

    gonefishin
    Member

    “We will be trying to send both of our kids to private schools as we want to give them the best possible educational start in life.”

    Whilst not want to remove your freedom to choose how you educate your children but hasn’t it been shown that overall the state education system provides better results than the private education system? Obviously this has to be corrected for selction bias and stuff as the raw figures would give a missleading impression.

    My family’s experience of private education is somewhat different to yours. Myself and my sisters went to the local comprehensive and my cousins from a few streets away were privately educated. In terms of further and higher education my sisters and I faired much better than my cousins.

    In short some schools are good and some are bad irrespective of whether they are state or private.

    Premier Icon miketually
    Subscriber

    A study in the states found that wanting your kid to go to a better school was as important to their educational achievement as them actually going to the school of choice, i.e. students who were denied a place at the ‘better’ school did as well at the worst school as they would have done at the better one.

    A lot also depends on your child and where you live. I went to pretty much the worst school in the town (Haughton, for the Darlingtonians on here) where I underachieved, but stil got enough to go to the town’s sixth form college, which is one of the best in the country. I’m sure I would have underachieved in whatever school I went to though, as I’m a big fan of doing the minimum possible just before the deadline.

    greyman
    Member

    “We will be trying to send both of our kids to private schools as we want to give them the best possible educational start in life”.

    perception is reality kids ..

    coffeeking
    Member

    And in answer to the original question – yes, but is there anything wrong with that?

    gonefishin
    Member

    ” I think it’s possible that teaching standards aren’t that much different between state and your average private but thats just a small part of of a childs education.”

    Well I know that you have to be a qualified teacher to teach in the State sector but it is not a requirement in the Private sector so if I’d probably bet on the quality of teaching in a state school being higher.

    greyman
    Member

    “didn’t have any money but made sacrifices to give the best to their child”.

    and again …

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    So bullying doesn’t take place at private schools?

    I don’t want to adhere to stereotypes, but I’ve heard/read some awful stories.

    And one ex-GF of mine who went to a lesser private school got bullied for being too poor – despite her family being almost comically middle class.

    I wouldn’t send my children to private school on principle anyway. And do you really need to when it seems schoolkids only have to turn up to get A* grades these days? 😉

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    A study in the states found that wanting your kid to go to a better school was as important to their educational achievement as them actually going to the school of choice, i.e. students who were denied a place at the ‘better’ school did as well at the worst school as they would have done at the better one.

    Or, looking at it another way, children with pushy parents get higher marks?

    aP
    Member

    I’m quite amused about one of my colleagues who is Welsh and very old Labour. His wife however went to finishing school and has some interesting opinions on things.
    Of their two children one goes to a private day school and the other to the local state school as they can’t afford to send both. I can see some trouble being stored up for the future there.

    Although there’s a lot of private schools round here closing down and there’s now terrible pressure on the state schools due to Jocasta and Tarquil’s parents being unable to pay the day rates.

    Premier Icon miketually
    Subscriber

    I know of parents who work mad hours to make the money to buy a house in the ‘right’ part of town to get into the ‘best’ state school, and to pay for private tutors in the subjects their kids struggle in. They’d be better off spending some time with their kids…

    Heather Bash
    Member

    So Blade and Trinity make it a bad school?

    You asked if you were a snob – yeah you sound like one. Dont judge a book by its cover…

    greyman
    Member

    I think there’s a lot of truth in that chaka.

    I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t have that perception that private education is by definition “better”

    Christ, if you could get a tax deduction for it I think there’d be a massive defection from the state system !

    All those nay sayers now opting out, deciding they can now afford it 😉

    imho obviously

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    we’ve just lost out on our preferred state school due to ‘leakage’ from the private sector.

    the offered alternative is full of kids who ‘aren’t our class’ (as well as being shabby and generally crap). when we went on a visit one fo the teachers said ‘most fo the chicldren come from the infants next door (which our child doesn’t attend) but we do always get a few waifs ans strays from other schools that are over subscribed’. So our child’s officially a ‘waif and stray’. great, thanks.

    but at most of the other independant schools they’re just ordinary kids

    I really dont want to get dragged into this as my chips will falloff, but that is so far from being true or even slightly close to reality that it is untrue.

    The simple facts are that if you go to a good private school your far more likely to become financially better off later in life irrespective of the education you get. I think this is wrong, but if I had a kid and could afford private education I might consider it. Even being a teacher myself I have considered getting a job in the private sector.

    fontmoss
    Member

    id say look at the priv schools youd be sending them to and look at the state schools youd be sending them to in particular speak to the head teachers i reckon thatll give you a much stronger sense of what will happen in the 6 years your kid will be there. some priv schools will be pants and/or run by idiots and vice versa, id say i prob agree with roundedness of comp schools but im not prejudiced against them, jst comparing my experience to my mates (all of whom are not from where i live btw)

    bike analogy: would you buy a bike based solely on brand or go and try some out?

    Premier Icon cinnamon_girl
    Subscriber

    What’s wrong with having a choice?

    GW
    Member

    TJ – were you bullied at school for not wearing a helmet, or did you stand up to someone selling dodgy gear?
    😛

    OP – yeah, you do sound like a complete snob.

    miketually knows what’s what. 😉

    trailmonkey
    Member

    In answer to the original question ” Am I being a snob ? “, the answer is yes, a massive one. If you really think that your childs’ education is going to be affected because their peers have cropped hair or names from cheesy vampire flicks, then I’d suggest that the biggest obstacle to their development might be your attitude to the outside world, not the effect of the outside world upon them.

    Loosen up mate.

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