[Closed] worst film ever .......

Cougar
There were three (human) survivors on the Sulaco; Ripley, Hicks and Newt. Why on Fiorina Earth they didn't run with an grown-up Newt as a character I have no idea.

P-Jay

Yeah Alien 3 bawlsed the whole franchise up, it literally killed the whole cast (bar the Aliens of course) meaning the whole clone element in the 4th one.

During it's development Sigourney Weaver was suing Fox over royalties for Aliens and was steadfastly refusing to have anything to do with Alien 3, hence they were developing concepts without her, or indeed other Aliens characters.

The film went through at least three entirely separate versions, radically different concepts and three different directors. Fincher was brought in at the last minute to salvage something. The film was getting re-written on a daily basis and according to reports had "more producers on set than crew".

[i]I am not alone! Hallelujah![/i]

No, but you are weird! 😉

Hey, just thought of another one I had the displeasure to sit through recently:
"Ted". What an unfunny pile of pathetic rubbish. How the hell did they get to make Ted 2??

a few more to throw in the mix, all that i walked out of -

the Great Gatsby (the newish one). Drivel
Irreversible. Just felt attention-seeking
The Bourne Identity - i walked out when i twigged it wasn't a spoof (was a bit stoned, got a good laugh out of it first)
Blair Witch Project (might've enjoyed it if it hadn't been hyped to the heavens)

I am not alone! Hallelujah!

No, but you are weird!

No he's not, they're crap.

The Core

It would appear from your inability to answer a simple question, or at least by the clumsy but slightly comical way in which you're avoiding it, that you just struggle with anything different from how you think films 'should' be. The 'plot' in Elephant is so stunningly obvious - it even gets repeated and cross-referenced, what, three, four times? - that one would would have to have been looking elsewhere to miss it.

If you don't like something, or don't understand it, then just say so. Saying it is awful just makes you look like a fool. Elephant, whilst no Citizen Kane, is a solid piece of cinema. It's an unconventional view and depiction of an incident that most people only ever saw from the distorted and glamorised perspective and prejudice of the mainstream media. I guess some folk struggle to get on with things when they aren't being told how to experience them.

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Thanks very much for your audition piece for Newsnight Review. Unfortunately, even by our usual standards, which make normal people want to hacksaw their own ears off rather than listen to another pompous, self-important word of it, due mainly to the absolutely unbearablly smug, patronising and superior air of our panelists, you tipped the condescension scales just a tad too far. We wish you luck in your future career as a reviewer.

Oh... Inside Out was really good. Obviously its mainly aimed at children and morons, too thick to deal with complicated plot twists that would make you adjust your rimless glasses and thoughtfully scratch your chin, but I enjoyed it

*wanders off to find colouring book and crayons*

RE: Blair Witch - IMO it's not a bad film for what it is - a micro budget ($35K), indie filmed over 8 days.

It's problem was that it was actually, much, much better than it should have been given the above - someone paid them $1m for the rights, spent another $750k padding it out and then $25m promoting it - the first people who saw it, were told it was all real, which of course makes it far more interesting than if it was fiction and the 'found footage' angle made it very believable.

By the time it got it's general release everyone knew it was 'fake' and audiences expecting a slickly made Hollywood big budget blockbuster which befitted a $25m promotional job, saw a $35k indie with $750k's worth of padding and hated it.

I actually quite enjoyed it, but by the time I saw it, the back-lash had started and I wasn't expecting much - I also enjoyed Prometheus, I didn't see it until it came out on Blu-ray and by then everyone was screaming how crap it was - they were expecting a brilliant Alien prequel, I was expecting a slightly shit Sci-Fi shocker.

"Intolerable Cruelty" - a film whose title doubles up neatly as a review.

The thing that annoys me are endless franchises and remakes - I agree that lone ranger was shite, basically pratts of the carribean on dry land .
I hate it when you get a good film and it gets remade with a holiwood glitz and obvious ending for the thickies , ie vanilla sky .
They're making a fRom of the man from uncle FFS .Kina get the idea that films are made by committee now with amore of an eye to budget than content.

And nobody has mentioned Calligula ,biggest stinker in film history .

I didn't think the original Stargate was a bad film TBH, I quite enjoyed it. Same with Blair Witch, for what it was, I thought it was smart and pretty ground breaking (how many films have used the "found footage" angle since?)

I feel a bit sorry for people who don't get Tarantino films. The pleasure and entertainment I've had from his stuff can't be matched by any other films.
Even an odd-ball like Death Proof, there's so much to it and no other films are like it.

I feel a bit sorry for people who don't get Tarantino films.

🙄 No need to feel sorry for anyone, it's okay for people to appreciate different things. BTW I'm a big Tarantino fan.

[i]I feel a bit sorry for people who don't get Tarantino films.[/i]

I get them, I don't like them.

*EDIT* They're too 'knowingly clever', which irritates the crap out of me. See, also, Birdman.

JOHN CARTER

As yet, the only film I've turned off before the end. A chunder bus full of Disney diarrhea. I would sooner crap in my hands than watch one frame of that skid stained movie again.

end of thread

The Core

I rest my case.

*EDIT* They're too 'knowingly clever', which irritates the crap out of me. See, also, Birdman.

likes birdman and most tarantino films, dislikes lazy shit like hangover 1-100 etc.

barb wire

Thanks very much for your audition piece...

Nice flounce, buttercup. You even managed a pirouette as you launched yourself from the stage. Classy...

We seem to have different ideas of what a flounce entails, but whatevs....[img] [/img]

Any other suggestions for films I'm too intellectually deficient to[s] pretend to[/s] enjoy?

[IMG] [/IMG]

Is it a picture of you reading The Guardian?

Will you two just get a room.

I don't think a bad comedy/action/daft film can ever be as bad as a bad film which takes itself seriously. For that reason I nominate Meet Joe Black.

Too clever for me, I'm afraid. You've lost me. Not difficult really.

Me reading is more.....

[img] [/img]

I am both confused and impressed by big words

As others have said I think you need to give low budget films a bit of a pass even if they ended up finding a wider audience.

On the other hand spunking $200 million on a bloated, indulgent, corpulent, flag-waving piece of hackneyed nonsense is less forgivable

Ladies and Gentleman I give you

[img] [/img]

Dune. I actually fell asleep in the middle of that, lost about 1/2 hour of it. i don't think I missed much if the rest was anything to go by

Or Pearl Harbor, I was laughing my head off in the cinema and got told off. Serious doo-doo
Edit: about 1 minute too late!

Oh wait, I'd forgotten Pearl Harbour... Definitely that.

Pearl Harbour, watched as a comedy with a few beers is a laugh riot. Anyway.

Tarantino, Resevoir Dogs was an excellent low budget crime thriller. The non linear narrative served the story well. Same for Pulp Fiction actually.

After that (maybe due to success, more editorial control, or lack of Roger Avary) he began to get self indulgent.

Jackie Brown was good, but far too long, to say nothing of Kill Bill. Death Proof again, far too long. It would have been great at 40 minutes or so. I think Rodriguez took him to school there.

Inglorious Basterds again was self indulgent overlong tripe. Django was almost great, but it had one too many endings and really suffered from a lack of editing. 20-30 minutes shorter and it would have been great. Just the fact that Tarantino himself pops up making an awful cameo, exactly where the film runs out of gas tells you all you need to know.

Ooh, ooh, someone has just reminded me of the very Worst Film ever! Worst, so called 'comedy' that is for certain.
For some reason it gets high critical scores all over the place, but I hated it so much, I wanted, nay, [i]needed[/i] to beat the shit out of the main character, the actor who played him, the director and the rest of the cast... god it wound me up. Not only was it not funny, it was quite vile, there wasn't one likeable character in it, it went on for at least an hour too long and I will never watch another Seth Rogan film as long as I live. Yes... you guessed it:
"Knocked Up".

I quite like Blair Witch and Inglorious Basterds. There I've said it.

The thing is, I don't think you could describe either of those as "worst film ever" - overhyped maybe, maybe not wonderful feats of cinematic excellence, maybe even a bit tacky. But given the alternative candidates of utter rubbish on offer on this thread which nobody is standing up for, they're not even on the radar.

I'd tried to block out Pearl Harbour. So that's another vote for it here.

I'm sorry but I can't agree that Jackie Brown, Pulp Fiction, Shawshank, Burn after Reading, Wall E and a few others are "the worst film ever" might not be to people's taste, but definatley not the worst films ever. I think a lot of us are answering "what's the biggest letdown ever after a build up ever"

My contributions are:

The Phantom Menace
The Devil Wears Prada
American Pie

Also, you want a Ker-rant? Watch this....

DezB- I'd quite forgotten I'd ever watched Dancer In The Dark, I just found it relentlessly depressing and manipulative (I know all storytelling is manipulation, but this is something else). The Idiots, by Lars von Trier is even worse. I'd even go so far as to say he's probably the worst director. Sub-GCSE-art-class-giving-it-to-the-squares-god-I'm-so-depressed-guff.

"The patrol". British squaddies in afghan. **** all happens. Zip. Nothing.
How the **** can they make a film about the most intense war we have been involved in for decades and NOTHING HAPPENS?!?!?! It ,ay as well have been abouth the RAF reg in the NAAFI.
In the end the squaddies just say "this ain't our war" and the officer says something like "jolly good. Let's go home"
Total, total turd. A worse film I can't imagine.

I gave up within 20 minutes of the patrol.

This is the worst big budget, high grossing film ever. It makes Pearl Harbour and Titanic look like works of art.

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Barb Wire did have one redeeming feature.

Gun's superb cover of Word Up was in it.

Apart from that, truly awful.

I suspect that this might be applicable to a fair few of the comments on here.

[url=

Also, the worst film ever is Fifty Shades of Grey. I watched it at the cinema with my ex girlfriend (who loves the books) and she was suggesting that we leave 15 minutes in!!

Aliens.
Supergirl.
Grease 2.
The Bodyguard.
Black Rain.
Robin Hood - (The Russell Crowe one).

But, the worst, by far, is City Of Angels.
Especially considering it was a remake of Wings Of Desire, one of the greatest films ever made.

Bruise Willies
Lars von Trier ....... I'd even go so far as to say he's probably the worst director. Sub-GCSE-art-class-giving-it-to-the-squares-god-I'm-so-depressed-guff.

I'm not a fan, but that's a very very silly statement.

Rusty Spanner
Black Rain.

Don't be silly.

Rusty Spanner - Member

Aliens.

Ack. Piss off.

I've seen some corkers! Night shifts flyby!
The Wild Women of Wongo
Eraser Head
Plan 9 From Outer Space
The One Armed Boxer 1 and 2
Iron Sky
The Toxic Avenger
But they are so crap they are hilarious!

Jupiter Rising is the worst film I've seen lately, Jurassic World left me cold as well.

Cheers, Steve

Really enjoyed Jurassic World, I wasn't expecting very much from it, but it was much better than I expected.
I'm rarely disappointed by a film, I go purely to be entertained, and I mostly am.
However, Highlander 2 really is the worst film I've ever seen, an execrable heap of utter garbage, that failed in every way the basic principle of a sequel; continuity.
Aliens is a superb film in its own right, and a proper sequel as well.
Wall-E is just wonderful.
Dog Soldiers was just B-Movie fun, done as well as it could be on a budget that might have bought a decent car.
I did walk out of a film once, a double-billing of Electraglide In Blue/Midnight Cowboy. Actually, there were four of us, me and a mate and our girlfriends, who were really, [i]really[/i] not enjoying the cinematic experience provided by our local emporium.
Can't say I was very much, either. 😐

Tree of Life with Brad Pitt is one of the worst films I have seen, particularly after a friend had said it was one of the best films he had ever seen. Two hours of my life I won't get back 😥

Barb Wire did have one redeeming feature.

Gun's superb cover of Word Up was in it.

Apart from that, truly awful.

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I completely accept that Barb Wire was risible, badly acted, strangely-plotted (something about a retina?!), exploitative nonsense which deservedly met with no critical acclaim whatsoever. But I cannot help thinking that a film which casts a gigantic pair of tanned pneumatic norks straining against a skimpy leather corset in a leading role is not actually going to hold its own in the "Worst Film Ever" category.

🙂

Any film the relies on fake plastic norks strapped to what appears to be a cheap sex doll to distract you from how bad it is needs to be on the list. There must be a large amount of pron with better acting and plot.

Worst film ever- Alexander. Just how they thought Alexander the Great had an Irish Accent is beyond me.

Lucy.

monkeysfeet

Worst film ever- Alexander. Just how they thought Alexander the Great had an Irish Accent is beyond me.

And yet you wouldn't bat an eyelid if they'd have had some generic british accent. Of all the things wrong with that film, accents weren't one of them.

Lucy.

Worst film I've attempted to watch recently, that's for sure. Risible.

Fifty Shades

Whoever said Pearl Harbour has earned a pint from me.

A truly awful film, not because it ever set out to be offensive, but the sheer laziness and ineptitude of the script and production are staggering to behold.

The faults are legion and to unpick them all will take me hours, so I'll focus on the faux pas I found most offensive.

1) The Spitfires.

As any schoolboy will tell you, a Rolls-Royce Merlin has a unique and enchanting sound that cannot fail to draw small boys and grown men outside to point enthusiastically at the sky, jump up and down and exclaim "It's a bloody [i]Spitfire![/i]".

The wonderful, soulful sound of not one but TWO Merlin-engined fighters (the stand in for the Me 109 was a Rolls Royce powered Spanish Buchon) dogfighting over the English Channel played through a cinema sound system should be a joy to behold, right?

Wrong.

The bastards dubbed the sound of the Merlins with an Allison engine instead. As an act of Hollywood storyline savagery, it's worse than crediting an American submarine crew with capturing an enigma machine, or giving William Wallace a mid-atlantic accent. Its aural vandalism at it's most crass.

2) "I beg you ma-am, don't take my wings"

Whoever committed that line to the script deserves to be gaffer taped to an office chair and repeatedly slapped around the face with a large, wet fish.

It's bum-clenchingly embarrassing. Upon viewing the DVD, I rewound just to make sure that some tortured part of my imagination didn't conjure that line from my subconscious, but no...even Ben Affleck looks embarrassed delivering that line.

And so he should.

Spitfires at Pearl Harbour?????

From the bit where Ben Afleck is posted to England to fight in the Battle of Britain.
It is a dreadful film that just keeps on trucking. I doubt if anyone has ever seen the end. It's so long and so dreadfully dull I know I haven't.

Ah sorry never seen the start of it, I have seen the end and that is a travesty 😆

Birdman - completely pointless beyond backslapping their way to Oscar nominations.

Birdman - completely pointless beyond backslapping their way to Oscar nominations.

As I live and breathe, unless you have walked on stage to the roar of a crowd and smelt the greasepaint ,darling,you will never understand 😉

Hmm, how can people list Crash, Eraserhead, Lost In Translation, which are obviously wrong, and not mention Fabulous Baker Boys, which is bad even by the standards of "films with Jeff Bridges".

However, Highlander 2 really is the worst film I've ever seen, an execrable heap of utter garbage, that failed in every way the basic principle of a sequel; continuity.

Highlander II was a very troubled film. Aside from the fact that "there should have been only one," it was dogged with problems throughout including interference from the insurance company and the country they were filming in going bust. There's a later director's cut ("renegade edition") where Mulcahy tried to salvage it, turning it into a merely poor film instead of an outright car crash.

But yeah, in terms of "biggest movie disappointments," H2 is up there with Alien 3 and Escape From LA for me.

About as sexy as watching a dinner lady whip up a vat of instant mashed potato.

I have the strangest...

Has anyone mentioned TopGun? Because that is a dreadful dreadful waste of precious time.

Battleship.

Only film I've contemplating walking out of. Main reason I stayed was my lift home appeared to be enjoying it.

Has anyone mentioned TopGun? Because that is a dreadful dreadful waste of precious time.

But falls into the 'so bad it's actually good' field.

And also, not liking it is homophobic.

I agree entirely with PJM1974. the only good thing about Pearl Harbor was the money it put into various UK based organisations such as the Shuttleworth Trust for the hire of their aircraft and pilots.

[i]and not mention Fabulous Baker Boys[/i]..

Er, that, my friend is bleedin obvious.

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I'm going with The Fountain - great director but physics-defying in its ability to stretch time into skin-crawling tedium.

Oh and I also hated the Three Burials of something or other - some cowboy plodding around with a decomposing dead body. Puzzlingly well reviewed iirc.

EDIT:The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada - that's the little stinker

Debbie does...

Seven.

TopGun certainly is not so bad its good. It is just an awful awful film. 😀

Anything with Tom Cruise in it. Generally a series of close profile shots with interspersed action by not Tom Cruise.

King Kong the remake one.

I have tried watching it 4 times now, and have fell asleep half way through on all 4 occasions.
The wife wasn't impressed when I fell asleep through it the first time (we was dating then) - so she put me through it again, and again, and again - just to prove a theory.
It's crap.

I LOVED TopGun when I was a kid, I rember Tom and ER going upside down and giving the Mig 'the bird', unauthorised fly-bys, F14 barrell rolls with 'smoke' pouring off the fins at the back, fatal tailspins, classified battles over stricken ships, several scenes which were actually in Iron Eagle, GPZ Turbos and 80's soft-rock, credits - END.

Watched it again in my 20's and some shit had added in soft core homoerotic porn, piss poor karaoke and soft focus Mills & Boon love scenes.

It's a bit crap though, first in a series of Tom Cruise films which all have the same story bar his occupation and because of that it can't be the worst film in the world, because 'Cocktail' exists.

This thread demonstrates (amongst many other things) that:

- people like very different things;
- most of the films we all actually see aren't [i]that[/i] bad;
- a hyped or big-budget film that isn't amazing is easily rounded down to "worst film in cinema history";
- loads of people blatantly watch things they're too tired to concentrate on, and blame the film if they nod off. This leads to films without explosions getting a pass.

🙂

This thread demonstrates (amongst many other things) that:

- people like very different things;
- most of the films we all actually see aren't that bad;
- a hyped or big-budget film that isn't amazing is easily rounded down to "worst film in cinema history";
- loads of people blatantly watch things they're too tired to concentrate on, and blame the film if they nod off. This leads to films without explosions getting a pass.

And that people can't tell a bad film from one they didn't enjoy.

And that people can't tell a bad film from one they didn't enjoy.

Oooh. Hark at he! Went to film school did we?

😉

Especially for Three Fish .... This weeks Guardian [url= http://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/aug/06/hard-to-be-a-god-review-mud-blood-and-holy-hell ]film of the week [/url] sounds like the perfect way to shoot down my theory that all they recomend is pretentious twoddle.

It's 3 hours long. It's in black and white. It's Russian. I doubt it contains any exploding helicopters.

Sounds great! 😀

If you could do us a review......?

Inbetweeners 2. Been out for a while but I have just got around to seeing it. Well, 20 minutes of it anyway, couldn't handle anymore. Loved the series and the first film, the 2nd was just unbearable.

watched some crap last night, well started to watch , about vampires in NZ, a mockumentary. switched it off after 5 mins and cant even remember the name

Especially for Three Fish .... This weeks Guardian film of the week sounds like the perfect way to shoot down my theory that all they recomend is pretentious twoddle.

As a rule, I don't read reviews; I'd rather watch something with an open mind and clear from influence. Thanks, though, the trailer looks interesting - I'll see if I can find it to watch. I suspect it would be much more instructive for all if you wrote a review yourself. It's written by the brothers who wrote the work that Andrei Tarkovsky's '[i]Stalker[/i]' was based upon, so should at least have an impressive foundation.

There is some outstanding cinema from Russia. I recently watched '[i]The Belovs[/i]', a documentary by Victor Kossakovsky. It's about a brother and sister who live together on a farm somewhere in rural Russia. He is a drunkard with a tendency for 'philosophical' outbursts; she does practically everything needed to keep the place going. In the scene below, the sister listens to the film-maker's audio recording of an earlier argument between the two siblings. Not in the least bit pretentious; quite the opposite, on fact.

I would right a review, if it weren't for the fact that I'd rather remove my own kidneys with a teaspoon than sit through 3 hours of that. Sorry. Life's really just too short. The Premiership starts tomorrow. And that's two matches!

My comment on guardian five star reviews still stands. Those bastards owe me some time!

just tried to watch 44 inch chest starring Ray Winstone as Ray Winstone, Ian McShane as Ian McShane and John Hurt as somebody who swears even more than John Hurt. Gave up after an hour in favour of walking the dog.

I would right [sic] a review, if it weren't for the fact that I'd rather remove my own kidneys with a teaspoon than sit through 3 hours of that. Sorry. Life's really just too short.

I suspect that the length of the film wouldn't be the primary obstacle to your producing a worthwhile review.

If you buy the popcorn I'll meet you at 'Home' tomorrow then. We can pen a joint review over lattes afterwards.

I won't take anything sharp. Stops me self harming. Though I can't promise I won't start rocking back and too, gently sobbing