[Closed] worst film ever .......

I must admit that I like some of the films already listed.

But my submission: Dog Soldiers.

Utter ****ing horseshit from start to finish, I honestly thought it was supposed to be a comedy, who the **** sits round a campfire telling stories on an escape and evasion exercise? Not even cadets, that's ****ing who.

Just endured this pile of **** Happy go lucky
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1045670/
A Tarantino-like massacre of any or all of the main characters,preferably early on, would definitely have improved it.

Wing Commander, and a few of the above but how can Ronin be in a 'worst films list' ?

Surprised we've got this far without a vote for The Descent.

Why do cavers need ice axes? Oh wait. It's to brain Zombie cave dwelling types.

Or...

The Wicker Man (Nicholas Cage version). It was so bad even the cast knew it. Noone appeared to be trying. Terrible film.

squirrelking

I must admit that I like some of the films already listed.

But my submission: Dog Soldiers.

Utter * horseshit from start to finish, I honestly thought it was supposed to be a comedy, who the * sits round a campfire telling stories on an escape and evasion exercise? Not even cadets, that's **** who.

Are you saying that Dog Soldiers, a film about Werewolves in the Scottish Highlands, wasn't true and accurate in it's portrayal of military maneuvers ?

I want to say [b]Rawhead Rex[/b], but that was so incredibly shite that it fell off the bottom of the scale to reappear at the top under genius.

I'm gonna go with [b]The Tree of Life[/b]. For such a rated film, my ass actually fell off through boredom. Colossal pseudo-intellectual bollox.

Donkey Punch

I'm glad to see others think Dog Soldiers was cack, I thought I was the only one!
My vote goes for Closer. There's a scene where Clive Owen (awful) asks Natalie Portman to bend over and show him something. I nearly kicked myself in the back of the head from cringing.

Teeth.
It's about a young lady who has teeth in her vagina.

Jupiter Ascending
I didn't care if they lived
I went and made dinner halfway through
I had no idea who was and neither did I care

Transformers (The box set) watched one of them on a plane as I was saving anything worth watching for more than a 5" screen. It was a mistake.

almost anything on the side of a bus with a great rating from a lads mag or the word "Hilarious" in the tag line

Perfume.

The Last Airbender comes second-to-last, only saved by the line "I knew he was a bender the moment I saw him."

Teeth. It's about a young lady who has teeth in her vagina.

😯

Glimmer Man , a smug tub of lard in a shiny silver suit spouting mumbo jumbo bollax.

Gosforth park and the thin red line were awful.

But bend it like beckham was horrifically bad.

Jesus I agree with mikenewsmith on something Jupiter Ascending was desperate.

Shawshank Redemption. Thick people think it's high art, it's not gloopy,sanitised spoonfed shite.

deluded - Member

I want to say Rawhead Rex, but that was so incredibly shite that it fell off the bottom of the scale to reappear at the top under genius.

You see, you clearly didn't see it when you were 10 or 12 and living in rural Ireland......It scared the bejeeezus out of me 😀

There was a country lane I used to travel to my mates house, on top of a hill a few miles between his house and mine there was a large ogham stone in the middle of a field. I always used to find myself cycling past it around sunset and after watching that bloody film all I could think for years was "I'm gonna get eaten by Rawhead Rex" 😳

Listing (at best 'B' movies) is a bit unfair, they're hampered with lack of budget, lack of a decent script, bad actors, the result is always going to be a bit British Leyland.

The truly awful films are the ones we're everything is stacked in their favour, Money, studio, etc etc.

With that in mind I'd suggest anything by Michael Bay, Showgirls, John Carter of Mars, Avatar.

Boxing Helena

nickc - Member

Listing (at best 'B' movies) is a bit unfair, they're hampered with lack of budget, lack of a decent script, bad actors, the result is always going to be a bit British Leyland.

The truly awful films are the ones we're everything is stacked in their favour, Money, studio, etc etc.

With that in mind I'd suggest anything by Michael Bay, Showgirls, John Carter of Mars, Avatar.

Yep. 100% agree. Furthermore a genre film, say Dog Soldiers or The Descent, or whatever is going to be more concerned with horror/atmosphere/gore/effects than they will continuity, realism etc.

I'm sure Neil Marshall was more concerned spending his £2million pound budget on creature effects and action sequences than hiring a military advisor etc etc. Also, it's a genre film.

Someone mentioned Titanic, reminded me of this... 😆

[img] [/img]

The Blair Witch Project.
90 minutes of brats, running through the woods, screaming at every snapping twig.
I was annoyed with my friend that coaxed me into watching this 'really cool film'. His words.

I watched Left Behind this weekend with Nic Cage.

It was beyond awful. The glue holding his wig on must be affecting his judgement.

Have we done Big Bang Theory killing Indiana Jones? 😀

Date Movie. I don't know what I expected, I was with the (ex) girlfriend bit even so, we both walked out after 10 minutes. Maybe it got good after that...

Moonrise Kingdom. Bruce Willis has been in some tosh but he's seldom looked so uncomfortable.

Metacritic score of 84, plus I really like some of films others have listed as "worst ever" so it's just possible I'm not the best judge.

From the list so far it is obvious none of you have watched "Silverado"

Agree with jimjam about Dog Soldiers - it's good as far as these types of films go - besides, it's recommended viewing if you're training for the 'Puffer. (It's worth 5 minutes per lap) 🙂

+1 for Jupiter Acending worse film I've seen recently. Batman and Robin is dreadful and I only stayed in the cinema as I thought my friends wanted to watch it. It turned out we all hated it. My kids love it though.

Foe maximum disappointment Phantom Menace is/was hard to beat, I remember sitting the cinema with similarly aged folk wanting their childhoods to be re-visited, enhanced.... then Jar Jar Binks rocks up...

Recently watched Ted2 it was pretty terrible

Unbreakable. it should have been called unwatchable

Surely Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull deserves a mention? Endless pointless CGI effects, awful acting, just utter rubbish. What was Harrison Ford thinking of?

Full English Breakfast (it's on Netflix - worth a watch just to see how badly a film can be made, both on story, production quality and sound).

There are a hell of a lot of things that go from "alright" to "worst film ever" depending on your mood or expectations. Almost everything in this list that I've actually seen is filed under "alright"...

Avatar - cutest girl I'd ever kissed kept stroking my knob - film was OK
Crash - alone in cinema during all the weird sex - film made lasting impression
Jurassic World - shot and a brew beforehand - film was OK
Ted 2 - shot and a brew beforehand - film was OK
Burn After Reading - How is George Clooney's home-made sex-chair not funny?
Jackie Brown - The Delphonics are fantastic.
FnF Tokyo Drift - Always seem to see this on telly after I've had a drunk-**** and require distraction - it's OK
Thin Red Line - requires much editing, but has much beauty - possibly drunk at the time
Titanic - sure, we love to hate it, but it was quite something. Also: Boobs.
The Blair Witch Project - watched this at midnight, cycled home for 30 minutes, got in, turned light on, fuse blew. Quite alarming.

And loads of other things (Transformers, I'm looking at you...) would be entirely tolerable if they got the length down closer to 90 minutes.

🙂

In recent times it would be 'Elena'. A genuinely miserable Russian movie about very miserable Russians. My wife likes miserable foreign movies but even she found it a bit much. Not really my cup of tea. I think watching it more than once would raise the level of alcoholism to high levels.

I thought Burn After Reading was great!

I don't think you can compute true film hell until you've had kids, though.

G-Force - something involving CGI gerbils, was the absolute nadir. Also hated the Lego Movie, but that's probably an unpopular opinion.

In terms of grown-up films, Truly Madly Deeply is the benchmark for over-acted, dreary British comedy that everyone else loved. I managed about an hour before I walked out.

Phantom Menace certainly gets an honourable mention. A deeply troubling experience.

Moonrise Kingdom

I've watched a few of the films here, some strange suggestions for bad movies.

Shoot em up is one of only a handful of films I've sat down to watch and subsequently switched off.....the only one I can think of at the moment.

Titanic. End of thread.

I'm playing the trump card here...
Battlefield Earth

RED2 was pretty terrible as well. One of only 2 films I've walked out of. The other being Chocolat.

Warhorse

Yes there are worse films, but they generally aren't directed by A-list Hollywood directors with a budget of $100m

So many people and so much money to make a detestable piece of sentimental dross about a friggin horse with pretty eyes

So many, where to start? At least (insert a number over 70)% of all the stuff churned out of Hollywood is utterly unredeemable pulp that takes itself horribly seriously. We find ourselves having to enjoy it 'ironically'.

True - I dont' (and don't wish to) subsist wholly on a cinematic diet comprised of 'World Cinema' (you know, that 'special interest' sub-section of this American Globe) - but ye gods why can't Hollywood at least try and make characters and their dialog even slighly believable?

It's so customarily awful- yet they (Hollwood actors) are given pompous awards for even half-decent self-conscious attempts at appearing human before the camera - a big golden hurrah for grandstanding cheese - for doing 'gravitas' in such a way that makes you feel somewhat stupid for even viewing it. Wait, you paid for it?

Case in point - somebody mentioned Shawshank Redemption? I enjoyed this film a lot, it is a great Boy's Own type tale of hope and of the human spirit - yet the acting is execrable cheese of a high pong-factor and the characters have all the cardboard-cut-out complexity and depth of the Muppet Show. It could so easily have been 'high art', yet it was popcorn, sweet and salted. Maybe that's what we want? Who watches Shakespeare anyway?

So it's really difficult choosing 'the worst film' ever from the endless reel of 'worst films ever' that we are customarily enjoying - whether unthinkingly, ironically or semi-ironically. The big attraction each year is most often *not* a sumptuous feast for the eyes, ears, brain and heart - it's just more sugary, carb-loaded fast-food, albeit wrapped in this year's new, 'best-ever' wrapping.

As for 'World Cinema'? Even that also-ran backwater of the American Globe isn't safe from Hollywood producers. They lurk, they. watch, waiting to pounce on any 'Foreign' cinematic triumph. They then quickly remake it in the aforementioned style of self-conscious fast-food pseudo-gravitas.

Imagine if you can Claid Chabrol's 'L'Enfer' - except that it's now titled 'The Pain In Her Eyes' starring Sharon Stone.
Blurgh. Blarrrghy! Grumpyman.

Mortdecai

I have no idea what they were thinking, I'm guessing the source material was popular?

Oooh, I forgot Peter Jacksons remake of King Kong.

Jeeeezus wept, that was a real stinker. Think the DVD got turned off after about an hour.

Date Movie. I don't know what I expected,

Really? I've just looked at the promo poster and would have run a mile.

Malvern Rider +1. In the same spirit I will nominate any Hollywood film that involves the hero dying and then coming back to life because someone blubs over the body. Step forward ET and The Matrix.
The worst film I ever paid money to see was Independence Day.

Independence Day - cringeworthily awful

edit: damn you neil - searched to check nobody else had put that, and then you posted while I was typing - though at least it's not just me