[Closed] worst film ever .......

Not Nicholas Cage's finest hour.

Pink Panther remake was pish

Alien 3 is interesting.

I rewatched all the Alienses not so long ago. Whilst not a great film by any stretch, Resurrection wasn't half as bad as I remembered.

Try as I might though, I just can't muster any love for Alien Cubed. By [SPOILERS!] killing off Newt and Hicks in the opening crawl they rendered the entire previous film pointless, and it just went downhill from there.

I have high hopes for Neill Blomkamp's alternative sequel. Pleasebegood.

trying to remember if there is a fine hour

"put the bunny back in the box" shirley?

Anyway, 'Dude, where's my car?' is dreadful. Bad within it's genre.

Wayne's world.

You have a Frenchman playing a Scotsman and a Scotsman playing an Egyptian. What could possibly be wrong there?

With a Spanish name. Sounds reasonable.

Anyway my votes:

* Showgirls. Walked out halfway through, despite preparing carefully by drinking a bottle of red before the start. Not even drunkedness+boobies could save that turkey.

* Blair Witch Project. Only stayed because I thought my then GF was enjoying it. Discovered at the end she hadn't walked out for the same reason.

* Pulp Fiction. And pretty much any other Tarantino film. Irritating and self-indulgent crap. See also the Spanish director/writer, Alejandro Amenábar.

* Star Wars I. Please, please don't them mess up the new one!

Caher - Member

Wayne's world.

Sorry you're confused, if we're looking for the "worst film ever" Wayne's World cannot be the answer, firstly because it's actually (party time) excellent, and secondly because it has a sequel which is infinitely worse.

Second suggestion - Blues Brothers 2000, I wept when I saw what they'd done to the memory of one of the funniest, silliest films ever made.

That Indiana Jones skull nonsense is perplexing, it didn't need to be made, it tarnished a truly great brand and I've never met anyone who thought it anything other than hateful dross.

Bloody love Dog Soldiers, you can't take it seriously, it cost about £30 to make and the actors are having a great time hamming it up.

ladies and gentleman i give you:

[url= http://www.comedy.co.uk/guide/film/big_fat_gypsy_gangster/special/bfgg_review/ ]Big Fat Gypsy Gangster[/url]

now I like a bad film and have quite enjoyed many of those already listed on here but this is absolute and utter tosh.

The review linked above is more funny than the actual film.

(and can I just add that I'm glad we are referring to them all as films and not 'movies').

The Happening

Even Mark Wahlberg admits it was bad.

That Indiana Jones skull nonsense is perplexing, it didn't need to be made, it tarnished a truly great brand and I've never met anyone who thought it anything other than hateful dross.

I'd forgotten that one, another to add to the list.

[i]* Pulp Fiction. And pretty much any other Tarantino film. Irritating and self-indulgent crap.[/i]

I am not alone! Hallelujah!

(and can I just add that I'm glad we are referring to them all as films and not 'movies').

After years of Hollywood corruption I'm now making a conscious effort to re-train my brain into defaulting to English again.

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The Netflix film selection resembles the DVD bargain bin in a pound shop. Anything with an actor in that you have heard of is probably going to get 4 stars plus.

Good call with Skyline ,that was utter bobbins.

God's Pocket took some effort.
I wanted it to be Seymour Hoffmantastic ,it wasn't.

Mood Indigo was hard work and just annoyed me all the way through.

I really must stop giving crap films a chance for redemption by watching them to the end. 🙄

oh shoot, this has just popped into my head. On a par with my previous submission and of the same genre is [url= http://www.theguardian.com/film/2014/jun/12/the-hooligan-factory-review-danny-dyer-nick-nevern ]The Hooligan Factory[/url]

a very, very bad film.

They killed off Hicks, Cougar ? I must have blocked that out.

The recent Lone Ranger re-make. Watched it on netflix whilst ill, it didn't help. Also, pretty much any horror movie, I just don't get them.

They killed off Hicks, Cougar ? I must have blocked that out.

Yep.

There were three (human) survivors on the Sulaco; Ripley, Hicks and Newt. Why on [s]Fiorina[/s] Earth they didn't run with an grown-up Newt as a character I have no idea.

Of those listed so far, Wing Commander and Batman and Robin are the two that have had me nodding and thinking "yes, that one was awful". I'd probably be doing the same about Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull and Highlander 2 but I appear to have suppressed my memories about them. 🙂

It appears I've been quite fortunate in avoiding many of the other candidates listed here. I remember thinking that Dog Soldiers was a bit poor but not a contender for all-time-worst though.

Hawk the Slayer is rubbish.

The Happening

Good shout, lets face it most of M. Night Shangalangalans oeuvre is utter dross, film making as a cheap parlour trick with his reliance on "twists" you can often see a mile away. The Sixth Sense was just about bearable but the rest were all pretty crap.

That Indiana Jones skull nonsense is perplexing, it didn't need to be made, it tarnished a truly great brand and I've never met anyone who thought it anything other than hateful dross.

Just a lazy cash in by everyone involved that shat all over an excellent trilogy

Cougar - Moderator

They killed off Hicks, Cougar ? I must have blocked that out.

Yep.

There were three (human) survivors on the Sulaco; Ripley, Hicks and Newt. Why on Fiorina Earth they didn't run with an grown-up Newt as a character I have no idea.

Yeah Alien 3 bawlsed the whole franchise up, it literally killed the whole cast (bar the Aliens of course) meaning the whole clone element in the 4th one.

The new Alien film is said to be a direct sequel to Aliens, forgets 3 and 'Resurrection' or 'Aliens: Tokyo Drift' doesn't matter because however many sequels they make, it will always be the last one.

AI

12 hours of my life I will never get back (it may have been shorter but it felt that long).

Just die already...

All of the hundreds (thousands?) of 'blockbuster' films that are essentially summarised in this 2 min clip of Kurt Russell (or is it Duke Nukem?) giving some good old boy treatment to the evil Aliens/Foreigners/Folks With Foreign Ideas:

'Give my regards to King Tut, a**hole!'

M. Night Shangalangalan

Oh yes, 'The Village'. Ye gods.

Cougar
There were three (human) survivors on the Sulaco; Ripley, Hicks and Newt. Why on Fiorina Earth they didn't run with an grown-up Newt as a character I have no idea.

P-Jay

Yeah Alien 3 bawlsed the whole franchise up, it literally killed the whole cast (bar the Aliens of course) meaning the whole clone element in the 4th one.

During it's development Sigourney Weaver was suing Fox over royalties for Aliens and was steadfastly refusing to have anything to do with Alien 3, hence they were developing concepts without her, or indeed other Aliens characters.

The film went through at least three entirely separate versions, radically different concepts and three different directors. Fincher was brought in at the last minute to salvage something. The film was getting re-written on a daily basis and according to reports had "more producers on set than crew".

[i]I am not alone! Hallelujah![/i]

No, but you are weird! 😉

Hey, just thought of another one I had the displeasure to sit through recently:
"Ted". What an unfunny pile of pathetic rubbish. How the hell did they get to make Ted 2??

a few more to throw in the mix, all that i walked out of -

the Great Gatsby (the newish one). Drivel
Irreversible. Just felt attention-seeking
The Bourne Identity - i walked out when i twigged it wasn't a spoof (was a bit stoned, got a good laugh out of it first)
Blair Witch Project (might've enjoyed it if it hadn't been hyped to the heavens)

I am not alone! Hallelujah!

No, but you are weird!

No he's not, they're crap.

The Core

It would appear from your inability to answer a simple question, or at least by the clumsy but slightly comical way in which you're avoiding it, that you just struggle with anything different from how you think films 'should' be. The 'plot' in Elephant is so stunningly obvious - it even gets repeated and cross-referenced, what, three, four times? - that one would would have to have been looking elsewhere to miss it.

If you don't like something, or don't understand it, then just say so. Saying it is awful just makes you look like a fool. Elephant, whilst no Citizen Kane, is a solid piece of cinema. It's an unconventional view and depiction of an incident that most people only ever saw from the distorted and glamorised perspective and prejudice of the mainstream media. I guess some folk struggle to get on with things when they aren't being told how to experience them.

[img] [/img]

Thanks very much for your audition piece for Newsnight Review. Unfortunately, even by our usual standards, which make normal people want to hacksaw their own ears off rather than listen to another pompous, self-important word of it, due mainly to the absolutely unbearablly smug, patronising and superior air of our panelists, you tipped the condescension scales just a tad too far. We wish you luck in your future career as a reviewer.

Oh... Inside Out was really good. Obviously its mainly aimed at children and morons, too thick to deal with complicated plot twists that would make you adjust your rimless glasses and thoughtfully scratch your chin, but I enjoyed it

*wanders off to find colouring book and crayons*

RE: Blair Witch - IMO it's not a bad film for what it is - a micro budget ($35K), indie filmed over 8 days.

It's problem was that it was actually, much, much better than it should have been given the above - someone paid them $1m for the rights, spent another $750k padding it out and then $25m promoting it - the first people who saw it, were told it was all real, which of course makes it far more interesting than if it was fiction and the 'found footage' angle made it very believable.

By the time it got it's general release everyone knew it was 'fake' and audiences expecting a slickly made Hollywood big budget blockbuster which befitted a $25m promotional job, saw a $35k indie with $750k's worth of padding and hated it.

I actually quite enjoyed it, but by the time I saw it, the back-lash had started and I wasn't expecting much - I also enjoyed Prometheus, I didn't see it until it came out on Blu-ray and by then everyone was screaming how crap it was - they were expecting a brilliant Alien prequel, I was expecting a slightly shit Sci-Fi shocker.

"Intolerable Cruelty" - a film whose title doubles up neatly as a review.

The thing that annoys me are endless franchises and remakes - I agree that lone ranger was shite, basically pratts of the carribean on dry land .
I hate it when you get a good film and it gets remade with a holiwood glitz and obvious ending for the thickies , ie vanilla sky .
They're making a fRom of the man from uncle FFS .Kina get the idea that films are made by committee now with amore of an eye to budget than content.

And nobody has mentioned Calligula ,biggest stinker in film history .

I didn't think the original Stargate was a bad film TBH, I quite enjoyed it. Same with Blair Witch, for what it was, I thought it was smart and pretty ground breaking (how many films have used the "found footage" angle since?)

I feel a bit sorry for people who don't get Tarantino films. The pleasure and entertainment I've had from his stuff can't be matched by any other films.
Even an odd-ball like Death Proof, there's so much to it and no other films are like it.

I feel a bit sorry for people who don't get Tarantino films.

🙄 No need to feel sorry for anyone, it's okay for people to appreciate different things. BTW I'm a big Tarantino fan.

[i]I feel a bit sorry for people who don't get Tarantino films.[/i]

I get them, I don't like them.

*EDIT* They're too 'knowingly clever', which irritates the crap out of me. See, also, Birdman.

JOHN CARTER

As yet, the only film I've turned off before the end. A chunder bus full of Disney diarrhea. I would sooner crap in my hands than watch one frame of that skid stained movie again.

end of thread

The Core

I rest my case.

*EDIT* They're too 'knowingly clever', which irritates the crap out of me. See, also, Birdman.

likes birdman and most tarantino films, dislikes lazy shit like hangover 1-100 etc.

barb wire

Thanks very much for your audition piece...

Nice flounce, buttercup. You even managed a pirouette as you launched yourself from the stage. Classy...

We seem to have different ideas of what a flounce entails, but whatevs....[img] [/img]

Any other suggestions for films I'm too intellectually deficient to[s] pretend to[/s] enjoy?