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What animal could you take on in unarmed combat

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No one canbeat this chap


 
Posted : 03/12/2022 4:16 pm
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Not a cat - mine caused me to spend a weekend in hospitals by biting and infecting me when I put it in the cat carrier to go to the vet. The infection working its way up my arm was apparently not a good thing.

So mouse or small insect for me.


 
Posted : 03/12/2022 6:33 pm
 lamp
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This thread is amazing!!

I have occasionally thought about this sort of thing whilst driving long distances...usually late at night.

What @nickc said about the chimp....you wouldn't stand a chance!! The King Cobra only needs to strike once, but he's had thousands of years to perfect that. A rat has the heart of a lion and can move fast and they can jump and i believe that they go for the eyes. A wolf?!?! Forget that. I once saw a demonstration of security dogs at a country show again, you wouldn't stand a chance...

Maybe that's why humans have developed the way we have to use weapons rather than going toe to toe with animals. I don't think we're that hard when compared to other species...we can't move that fast, don't have that much power or endurance etc....

I think though if i had to have a fight with something it would have to be some kind of mid sized rabbit.

I once watched a documentary on the Honey Badger - i'd run a mile if bumped into one of those - highly unlikely based down in the south east!


 
Posted : 04/12/2022 1:17 pm
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I read about this (though I think it was a panther rather than a wolf) in one of the ‘Adventure’ books by Willard Price. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adventure_series_(Willard_Price)

Theres lots of advice for surviving attacks by all sorts of animals, including elephants.

The Hunt brothers best weapon was making friends with the animals, before condemning them to a life sentence in some random zoo.


 
Posted : 04/12/2022 2:50 pm
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I once watched a documentary on the Honey Badger – i’d run a mile if bumped into one of those – highly unlikely based down in the south east!

Was that Stoffel? Couldn't keep him imprisoned, he'd break out of anywhere, including into a lion cage to have a crack at a lion. 🙂


 
Posted : 04/12/2022 2:53 pm
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Nowhere does it state that the animals can't be baby versions, in which case I could probably deck all of them.


 
Posted : 04/12/2022 3:46 pm
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I don’t think we’re that hard when compared to other species…we can’t move that fast, don’t have that much power or endurance etc….

Endurance is actually one of the things humans are good at (potentially anyway if not in fact for most of us nowadays).
The need for it dropped with better tools but there is a hypothesis that it was our ancestors secret weapon for a time.


 
Posted : 04/12/2022 3:59 pm
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Wasp
Sloth
Anne Widdicombe.

Someone mentioned Steve Irwin a while back. His favourite puppet show was Fireball XL5. But he said he always had a place in his heart for Stingray.


 
Posted : 04/12/2022 9:47 pm
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I have two Bengal cats.

One is the perfect moggie, he’s gentle and will chirp a thank you when you open a door for him and he loves people. The other one is a complete knob. He scratches things, yowls and jumps onto my office desk at home, showing his hoop to all of my work colleagues in Teams chats. He adores affection right up until he bites your hand. This wee bugger will square up to me when I tell him off, if then -for whatever rare reason- he feels like he can’t best me physically he’ll go and triumphantly shit in the bath.

How do you fight that?

Chuck it out the cat flap.
Thats what my cats get if the get uppity.

My cats are tiny, anyone who picks either up goes ohhh, they're small. Might not work with something lion sized!


 
Posted : 04/12/2022 10:26 pm
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The Hunt brothers best weapon was making friends with the animals, before condemning them to a life sentence in some random zoo.

I know that now, but God, I loved those books when I was in primary school.


 
Posted : 04/12/2022 10:37 pm
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A clawless, toothless Honey Badger. 😆


 
Posted : 04/12/2022 10:40 pm
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Someone mentioned Steve Irwin a while back. His favourite puppet show was Fireball XL5. But he said he always had a place in his heart for Stingray.

Savage but funny 🙂


 
Posted : 04/12/2022 10:45 pm
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Was that Stoffel? Couldn’t keep him imprisoned, he’d break out of anywhere, including into a lion cage to have a crack at a lion. 🙂

The sense of purpose Stoffel had was amazing. He didn't walk so much as swagger down he trail...


 
Posted : 04/12/2022 11:29 pm
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I know that now, but God, I loved those books when I was in primary school.

Same. I even kept one. Tried to introduce them to my kids who showed absolutely no interest whatsoever. Then I started reading one again and the whole catching animals for the zoo didn't go down too well.


 
Posted : 04/12/2022 11:56 pm
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A Budgie.... i could knack a Budgie


 
Posted : 05/12/2022 1:11 am
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Trouble is, the only creatures I’d be prepared to take on unarmed, are things that aren’t a threat anyway, in which case it’s pointless.
Now, scratchy, bitey things, they deserve whatever’s coming, if if it’s an unprovoked attack on me.

I saw a motto, painted on the back of a painting in the Courtoulds Gallery in London. Dated around 1380-1430, in Old French, and it’s going to be one of my next tattoos:  Je he ce que mord - I hate things that bite. Something I think we can all relate to!


 
Posted : 05/12/2022 3:48 am
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What is that fool in the giraffe video doing?

Trying to avoid being kicked to death. Giraffes run at 40mph, so cycling away is likely to end painfully.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9RBVp6F_3LY


 
Posted : 05/12/2022 4:47 am
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On a night ride I once punched an owl.


 
Posted : 05/12/2022 8:09 am
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On a night ride I once punched an owl.

Did Akela intervene and rally the rest of the cub troop?


 
Posted : 05/12/2022 8:26 am
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that tricked me wasn't expecting some upfront data but I am totally bemused that US and UK people look pretty happy to take on a kangaroo

this local to me and pretty sure passed the injured person a few times (not while injured!)

joggerattackedbyroo

... need to go back and check the data as I was going to run with Guinea pig ...looks like a badger but is lot lot smaller..all sqeak and no fight


 
Posted : 05/12/2022 12:01 pm
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and as to Gerald the Giraffe I lost the will to live when he rhymed scarf with bath


 
Posted : 05/12/2022 12:11 pm
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Our group of mates often debates the question "What is the biggest animal that you could knock out in one punch?".

After some debate, the definitive answer was a pregnant leopard seal - the thinking was that the carrying of the pup would weaken the mother seal, and that the pregnancy made the seal larger / counted as two


 
Posted : 05/12/2022 12:15 pm
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A leopard seal is one of the very last predators I'd want to be anywhere near. Wiki says [edited]:

leopard seal attacked a member of Sir Ernest Shackleton's Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition of 1914–1917, when the expedition was camping on the sea ice.[45] The "sea leopard", about 3.7 m long and 500 kg, chased Orde-Lees on the ice. He was saved only when another member of the expedition shot the animal.[46]

In 2003, [a] biologist... of the British Antarctic Survey was killed by a leopard seal while snorkeling

Leopard seals have shown a predilection for attacking the black, torpedo-shaped pontoons of rigid inflatable boats, leading researchers to equip their craft with special protective guards to prevent them from being punctured.

[However] Paul Nicklen, a National Geographic magazine photographer, captured pictures of a leopard seal bringing live, injured, and then dead penguins to him, possibly in an attempt to teach the photographer how to hunt.[50]

So I guess if you're lucky they might try to train you up, but that's a lot of weight to gain even for the average middleaged mountainbiker...


 
Posted : 05/12/2022 1:06 pm
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Another hospitalised by a domestic cat. Long story but cba short version is: attempting to help the sod, ripped me to pieces (chest, back, leg and torn ear - in about 1.5 seconds), infection throbbing up my arm within two hours. Hospital. 10 day course of 4.5g/day heavy duty antibiotics, with no booze. Ended up not drinking for three years.

Back on the sauce now. Cat still around too.


 
Posted : 05/12/2022 11:28 pm
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After some debate, the definitive answer was a pregnant leopard seal – the thinking was that the carrying of the pup would weaken the mother seal,

I suggest you and your mates have not spent much time around pregnant women.


 
Posted : 06/12/2022 2:05 am
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