[Closed] Was down the shops this morning and saw...

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat

What are your thoughts on smacking kids?

I was smacked as a kid. Not enough to cause damage, but hard enough to sting, and as I grew up to be a teen - shock. I rarely needed it, because the threat of it was enough to stop me doing stuff wrong. The switch from a normally attentive, highly loving and affectionate parent to one that makes your back of your thighs sting makes you realise you've done wrong. I bear no grudges.

as coffeeking says ^^

a proper smack should do no more than sting a little and make a loud noise more to shock than anything
A proper smack should not really cause any proper harm and the threat of it should most of the times surfise

I think the responses on this post should be qualified by whether you have children or not

The switch from a normally attentive, highly loving and affectionate parent to one that makes your back of your thighs sting makes you realise you've done wrong.

Nicely put

Hora. You were beaten as a child and yet you now pay that dodgy granny in the leather corset to come round and 'administer your punishment'

I think it left you more scarred than you're prepared to let on 🙂

I got the belt when i was a lad.
Then went to a boarding school where punishments were often meted out in terms that enabled you the clarity of mind never to wrong things again.

Pops only needed to administer the belt a few times til i learned what was expected of me then it was the mere threat of the belt that stopped me being a pest.

School was the same.

However - i do not agree that violence is the answer to sorting things out. It is the respect of authority instilled that keeps you on the straight and narrow as a child not the actual hitting. The pain of the physical bit is over quickly it is the mental reminder of it that keeps you sorted.

I am not a parent so will not offer any form of opinion on what i would or wouldn't do if i had kids.

Ha! I remember I was one of the (probably) last to receive the cane. I set off a fire extinguisher on friends in high jinx.

Headmaster invited me into his office, talked about the weather, relaxed. Then showed me his extensive glass cabinet (very nice actually) and asked me to 'choose'. I went for the finest, thinest one possible.

**** that thing bloody hurt!!!!!!

He asked afterwards if I would do it again (I think he probably spared me) when I said '**** that'*!

*I think the actual words were alittle more pained.

I was beaten as a child, and am now violent and aggressive, and known to the police. 😐

Made me think that the woman needed the bullet as I would never hit my kids

this thread had me in despair until coffeeking spoke some sense.

Smacking is fine if its done in a controlled manner where there is a direct cause and the child will understand why.

However when Sharon is dragging Brooklyn out of Iceland f'ing and blinding at him when repeatedly smacking him does not quite fit with my higher standing middle class morale values.

Mrs FD and I have already talked about whether to or not, and we both agreed we were, but only as a last resort and generally we learnt from it.

Schools should also be able to use the ruler/slipper/cane as back in the in the day kids knew where the limits were.

On a recent visit to a nursey they even said they DO NOT use the word No! wtf ! No wonder this country is going to ruin.

Ha! I remember I was one of the (probably) last to receive the cane. I set off a fire extinguisher on friends in high jinx.

I was at school longs after the cane was stopped. We were left to the Petty Officers (prefects) to be dealt with. Common games were Study Football, you were the football. Standing at ease or attention for significant lengths of time, nose and toes, if you moved ( when hit on the back of the head or knees) you had 15mins added to the undetermined time... WWF Test Pilot was another classic - triple suplexes onto metal bed frames. Broomsticks through your shirt and made to run 2 miles in freezing conditions, enforced cold showers or scalding hot were common ones too for mass punishments.

Anyways, these were the ones that people will tell you about, the others could have got people into some serious trouble with the law i am sure.

It's amazing how well kids can be made to behave should the consequences be made plain to them.

Spare teh rod and spoil the child?

Hitting anyone is wrong unless it is self defence full stop.

Anyone who hits a child should be prosecuted.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/french-tourist-in-scotland-convicted-of-hitting-son-658818.html

Teh law in Scotland stopped just short of a total ban but its not far from it.

http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Publications/2003/10/18406/28339

this thread had me in despair until [s]coffeeking spoke some sense[/s] I realised that it was just Smee, trolling again

Fixed that for you.

Kids need discipline so caning should be fine.

My mum used to buy the canes, trying it out by swinging, while the shop keeper took the mick out of me with a big grin.

As a kid/early teen(after 14 I was fine) I got the cane all the time otherwise my parents and everyone surrounding me would live a living hell. Caning limited my ability to terrorise others.

For example, I would put hot chilli on other kids seat and they would scream with pain while I found the entire experience very funny and relaxing. Or hot chilli in your drinks/food etc ... just be creative.

But my parents would never smack me with their hands as there was a danger of seriously injuring me.

Still remember my mother buying the cane ... ohhh ... I love her my mum.

😆

😆

Chewkw; you're definitely not right, you...

Hmm TJ in 'parent of many, voice of experience' response
Would it be okay if kid was wearing a helmet?

From what i have seen most kids are different. Amazing i know but you get quiet ones who you wouldnt ever dream of smacking, clever ones who never get caught so dont ever get smacked, nasty ones who you have to smack first or they smack you. Finally you get kids that are pretty boistrous, full of energy and sometimes need reigning in every so often so they remember the bounderies.

My kids are the last type. I never wanted a kid who sat with his/her head in a book all day. I never wanted a kid that sat at school and never said anything all day. I wanted a kid who was full of energy and sometimes needed a telling.

Unfortunately telling them repeatedly and using every other manner of punishment/control sometimes doesnt work. Its usually my wife who does the leg work tbh. Then i come home to be confronted with a situation. Or sometimes i am lucky enough for me to be bang in the middle of it, although surprisingly it doesnt happen to me as much.

In those situations, my son has admittedly ended up with a sore bum/leg. Never my daughter tbh but then she does have a certain in built ability to back off when she is being naughty, wheras my son has a full steam ahead setting.

What i am trying to say is all kids are different. If i had a shrinking violet who didnt say boo to a goose then i wouldnt dream of smacking him/her. I dont need to smack my daughter as she doesnt need it. From time to time my son needs it. Done worry, i am paying for taekwondo lessons for him so i expect he will be kicking my backside for years to come 🙂

I had an experience with a gang of local kids and one in particular yesterday. They were picking on a lad that was playing with our son in the local park and I stepped in to seperate them. I soon discovered that a stern word with him had no effect other than to give him a chance to show that his favourite two words began with c and f. We decided to go home and and take the victim with us, we were surrounded by these kids, with the leader constantly at the victim, trying to get him to fight back. He then punched him in the head. I stepped in again, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. This made me a child abbuser acccording to him and his mates. To get his revenge on me he decided to attempt to kick in two doors on our car, so again I grabbed him, this time by the arm and told him we were phoning the police. More abuse. He managed to make a run for it and then our lad came running because somebody had smashed our kitchen window. Shortly after this his Gran came up complaining that I'd left him black and blue I told her she could tell the police who were on their way and pointed out the footprints on our car door and the smashed window. He had the cheek to say it had been like that for weeks which was when I pointed out the snow and water still sliding down the window. Anyway Polis told us that he is well known to them, victims mother said that her boy has been terrorised by this lad and his mates over the holidays and there seems to be no way of stopping him. After leaving us the Polis was going to tell him and his Gran that I had only used reasonable force for someone that was kicking in my car doors. Not sure if this is relevant to this thread but it's helping to get it off my chest. Would like to know how his parents discipline him, if at all. I'd say he was a good example for doing the opposite of what they do. The most standout thing about him was the uncontrolled rage taht he was displaying which was truly frightening.

Unfortunately you are dealing with a ferrel kid/family. These people dont have any need for rules or limits. Your best bet is to avoid them rather than confront them. You cuffing the kid around the ear isnt even gonna register in his mind. It will register big time in the grief you will get in return.

Horrible situation.

Still don't see the problem really. As long as its a swift tap round the back of the legs/ on the ass.

I had it when I was a child and Its done me no harm.

To your own kids its fine IMO, to someone elses then its wrong. How do people expect to discipline children these days anywho?

Send them to their room? so they can just play on the consoles/pc. Take their mobile away for a day? So they just go out or use the PC more?

Ah buch of softies. 😛

As far as Im aware its not illegal to give your own child a little smack round back of legs or arse, anything else/more however is illegal.

Thats my two pence and I'll now duck out and let everyone go back to squabbling again.

iain1775

I am not claimning any expertise apart from being able to understand the real experts. Have a read of my links.

You see... I 'd say it never did me any harm, but...

I have to wonder why if me or my siblings were doing something the others didn't like, we thought the best way to resolve it was hitting each other?

TandemJeremy - Member

iain1775

I am not claimning any expertise

Unfortunately you are dealing with a [b]ferrel[/b] kid/family.

❓

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

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These people

🙄

Why do i need to look up how to spell this derogatory word. Because i am looking down on them? Because you said so?

What term would you have used. I thought feral was a relatively harmless description. However tbh i wasnt really that concerned with its spelling. Is that ok with you?

Oh and i take it you linked some sort of picture. All i got was a red cross so sorry if there is/was any context to it.

Why do i need to look up how to spell this derogatory word. Because i am looking down on them?

Well, it would help, if you were trying to appear superior to 'them', yes...

What if i wasnt trying to appear superior to them?

Then why use a socially derogatory term to describe someone then?

Do you actually know the real meaning of the term 'feral'? It's a term used to describe an animal which has returned to a 'wild' state from a domesticated environment. Or in the context of a human being, one which has lived apart from human society, to the extent that they live like a 'wild animal'. Which isn't actually the case in the people you attempt to describe. A more accurate description would be 'dysfunctional', perhaps. 'Feral' is a term that dehumanises people, and reduces them to the status of a mere animal. Not exactly socially progressive.

I am not claimning any expertise apart from being able to understand the real experts. Have a read of my links.

to really understand them you would need to read experts propounding the opposite view

Elfinsafety - Member

Then why use a socially derogatory term to describe someone then?

Do you actually know the real meaning of the term 'feral'? It's a term used to describe an animal which has returned to a 'wild' state from a domesticated environment. Or in the context of a human being, one which has lived apart from human society, to the extent that they live like a 'wild animal'. Which isn't actually the case in the people you attempt to describe. A more accurate description would be 'dysfunctional', perhaps. 'Feral' is a term that dehumanises people, and reduces them to the status of a mere animal. Not exactly socially progressive.

Yeah - you actually *been* to see some of these sink estates? I realise you're trying to make a high-handed point here, but it's kinda failed miserably.

Anyway, back to the OP. Surely the *threat* of the slap is the incentive - the kid should have enough nous to realise that it's coming if s/he misbehaves. BUT, you do see parents just going nuts for little to no reason.

Yeah - you actually *been* to see some of these [b]sink[/b] estates? I realise you're trying to make a high-handed point here, but it's kinda failed miserably.

I grew up on one, live on one now and have lived most of my life in 'sink' estates. How about that then, eh? You weren't expecting that, were you? Kind of makes your attempt at denigrating my statements a bit of a failure, wouldn't you say? 😆

High-handed? Or perhaps just fair-minded? 😉

Elfin grew up feral. But he's been humanised over the last decade or so.

I find the term "sink estate" to be very offensive.

I grew up on one, live on one now and have lived most of my life in 'sink' estates

Well no one can say you don't know your place then. 🙂

Surrounded By Zulus - Member
I find the term "sink estate" to be very offensive.

Not as offensive as your efforts at trolling this week Smee. Any chance you could stop filling the forum with the same old drivel with which you were filling it before your last life ban? You know what happens when you get carried away fella. You'll just go postal again. It wasn't pretty the last time. Quite undignified tbh. Are you Adam Boulton? Is that it?

elfinsafty is human? 😯

Elfin grew up feral. But he's been humanised over the last decade or so.

🙁

Well no one can say you don't know your place then.

😥

elfinsafty is human?

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DD - I love you man.