The big nerve that goes down the knee (peroneal) is unprotected on my knees due to a useless design flaw. I've hit the exposed nerve hard on two occasions recently, both times the pain was so bad I could only scream silently before everything going black and passing out.
Vasovagal response from directly hitting a nerve, the pain is absolutely excruciating, both times I was grateful to black out.
It is at least a lot quicker than childbirth.
I had a biopsy done on a lump in my throat that ranks pretty high on my list of non-silly answers. basically it involved a man forcing his whole hand into my mouth*
Be thankful it wasn't the lump wasn't in your arse. 😯
Emsz,rumour has it that Stoner has a full BSC every month.
YKK zip
Gout every time. The most excruciating pain possible as your joints slowly get ever-so-slightly forced apart then your body goes into overdrive to protect it with full-on inflammation. It's like that mediaeval torture where your limbs are slowly pulled apart. And goes on building in intensity for at least a week - A WEEK - and nothing relieves it. I put up with that once a month in two joints at the same time for 18 months before capitulating and going on the blasted drugs. At least they have stopped me grimacing at people on trains and swearing loudly at the same time like a loon.
A mate once snapped his banjo string whilst on the job - apparently the pain was pretty special
cracking my sternum on the end of my bars was pretty bad - descending garburn to get back the car was also interesting
agree on the gout. but losing a lot of skin from my face in a petrol fire was bad, eyelashes were singed shut, then to top it off my mates mumm thought wiping my face with a damp cloth would help 😯
but the loss of my best mate is still hurting now ten years on.
Stoner has a full BSC every month.
BSC?!??
fercrissake, get the anatomy right! Your crack comes before your sack when you are working in a southerly direction....
not known as Captain "Bumfluff" Flasheart in the third form for nothing were you!
Breaking your own Ankle whilst trying to remove a badly set up Ski Binding after busting your leg in three places?
Cos that did chuffing hurt!
I believe Viz magazine determined that the worst pain in the world was a paper cut to the helmet
But my brother as a child once tried to run through a fire on a building site in his wellies. (a bit of a dare)
He was rolling around screaming when we realised he had stepped on a plank of wood with a big nail, which had gone clean through his foot.
[i] a paper cut to the helmet [/i]
from pushing the envelope?
matt, sharkbait, Im not sure it's childbirth that ATG is on about here...
Ohhhh.......
[img] 
[/img]
He was rolling around screaming when we realised he had stepped on a plank of wood with a big nail, which had gone clean through his foot.
Done that, in flip-flops, can still see the mark where to end of the nail came out the top of my foot.
Considering I was in a small village in the jungles of Belize at the time it was a miracle It didn't go manky.
I think the worst combination of mental and physical distress would be multiple papercuts and a huge, delicious bag of salt and vinegar squares
Bloke at my dad's place once stepped on a plank and had a rusty nail go through into the bottom of his foot. He put his other foot alongside it so he could pull his bad foot off the nail, and stood on another nail with his other foot. I suspect that may have smarted.
I was going to say lungs expanding into shards of rib, but bencooper has won the internet today.
My brother, when he was about 4 or 5, tried to push a wheelbarrow, tripped and hit his face on the edge of the barrow. Bit through his tongue almost to the point of severing it and if the noise was anything to go by, that ranks pretty high on the pain scale.
The most painful thing I've ever experienced was in in-grown toenail. Months of agony whilst it burrowed it way through my big toe and got infected, then two minutes of torture as a doctor tried to inject my toe with local anaesthetic, and then the worst of all, a community nurse ripping off the gauze which welded itself to my toe where my toenail once was. Quite possibly the worst thing I've ever experienced.
In the words of Arthur Daley "I can stand anything apart from minor physical discomfort" Being cold and wet over protracted periods of time is hell.
As a teenager I took myself off pretty quick to the nhs dentist. Turned out the severe pain I was suffering was an infected tooth (abscess). The cheapskate decided to lance it there and then with a large needle, without a local, aaarrrgghh. I screamed and everybody in the waiting room heard. Evil b*$^a:d.
I dislike dentists alot.
Another one - I shot a couple of pea-size lumps of concrete into the middle of my hand as well as opening up my arm to the bone on an off on a concrete track - when the Dr came to remove the concrete, he wouldn't use anaesthetic as I'd apparently had enough already. Yes i did pass out and I'm not proud. The worse thing was he missed the second bit which had to be removed a few months later (once I couldn't pretend that the tomato size lump in my hand wasn't there any more).
emsz - Member
Stoner, go get your bits waxed, then you can complain
Thats nowt - about a 3-4 on the scale.
Now lying face down with a live x-ray while the surgeon puts a straight 4" needle into the space between your vertebrae...
and having to bend it sharply...
not once...
not twice....
not even three times...
but 4.
Then inject the nerve blocks into the already ruined nerves.
Then remove said needle which is now a strange corkscrew shape by rotating it...
Then repeat that for the other side...
For each Lumbar...
Each Thoracic..
and each Cervical...
every 3wks for a year..
Strangely enough - you learn to isolate areas of your body quite quickly living with grade 7-9 pain since the age of 19.
Reading thm's posts past the first couple of sentences.
The chiropodist cutting the side of my ingrown toenail off when the anesthetic wouldn't take because of the infection 😯
I'm feeling a bit queasy reading that :-/
Can't top a lot of the above, but probably most painful for me was having an infected cyst on my back cut open by the GP [b]without[/b] anesthetic. Yowzer!
Most recently I've been having root canal treatment and that can make you wince, but thankfully the intense pain is very short-lived!
Clearly not painful at the time as I was under a general, but I'm recovering from an op where I had all the skin removed from my penis, and some from my scrotum, and replaced with a graft from my thigh. It's been a sore recovery (especially nocturnal, ahem, stirrings) but nothing compared to other stories on here!
Kit - can they not just give you some finasteride or spirolactone to calm it down for a bit???
Rachel
A mate dived several 100m out of an underwater cave to freedom with a broken jaw, ribs, arm, a severed bicep and smashed teeth with exposed nerves. That rated quite high on the pain scale I'm told, although he still had the prescence of mind to tell the irate farmer who's permission he hadn't asked that he'd "tripped over a stile"....
Breaking my arm, for the 3rd time was quite painfull, it ripped the screws out and bent the plate that had been holding it together :-S
But beating that by a country mile was the first break.
The actual breaking a bone bit isn't/wasn't that painfull. The painfull bit came about an hour later when the bits of bone decided do go for a wander arround my arm. Then to top that it took two Dr's pushing and pulling on various parts of my mangled arm to simpoultaneously pop my elbow, wrist, and the two ends of the bone back together. I didn't swear, but the noise I did make could best be described as primeval or beastial, I don't think I could make it again if I tried!
Apparently childbirth is 20x more painfull than breaking your arm. Which if true makes them a bunch of pansies, the actual breaking bit (even the third time, with screws ripping out etc) was only a bit worse than a really big needle.
Also in the top 5:
Shingles in the nerve that runs to my left testicle.
Whatever it was that I did to my back last Wednesday that resulted in me being unable to move my neck or right arm for 48 hours.
The emotional pain of ridng a fat bike and yet again being asked "why are your tyres so big".
For those mentioning getting a full on kick in the swingers, you're clearly amateurs, not au fait with the sadistic art of inflicting crippling, eye-watering pain on your mates.
Wominz - also take note for self-defence purposes.
It's the opposite to hoofing someone in them that's required. Forget brute force. The trick is (as you'll soon discover if you sit or stand with your legs even mildly apart, in the pub with my mates from home, after they've had a few) is to flick someone in them, so you literally just about catch them a slight glancing blow in the nads with the end of your finger.
Try it. But then be advised to get yourself a safe distance in the time that they're writhing around in the floor in absolute agony, having hit the deck like the proverbial sack of ****! 😀
Pulmonary embolisms here.
I am probably quite blessed.
Pretty much the most pain I've ever been in is reading this thread.
I mean - I've been hit by a bus, gone through the rear window of a Zafira and had carpet burn across my entire back as a kid, but this shit, this shit right here, this is really disturbing me.
Foreskin stuck in zipper was uncomfortable, the pain of unzipping was some what eye watering, mate had to undo it. Thankfully before the onset of mobile phone cameras
Thank the stars you've got a foreskin to sacrifice itself in the zip in such a circumstance!
had carpet burn across my entire back
You're doing it wrong.
Anyhoo, I have remembered my contender for a winner.
As a 10 (?) year old, the current phase of adrenaline rush (aside from grabbing a go on one of the bigger boy's peugeot MTB) was sitting on a skateboard and launching down the mahoosive hill in the local park - speeds of 300mph were easily reached.
To cut to the chase, something went wrong, I was wearing shorts and I lost most of the side of my right leg, to be replaced my grit and raw flesh. I couldn't walk. I had to be carried back to my parents. My Mum was not calm upon the sight.
Anyhow.....
Do you know how the doctor fixed this?
Placed gauze over the entire area (we are talking the whole of the thigh, from knee to arse) and spray it with something.
Hell that spray hurt.
..
.
Then, each week (remember, different times kids) as my leg had scabbed and healed over the gauze to the point of the gauze being barely visible....
Yep, he RIPPED it off - not cleanly, but in about 4 goes.
The pain was phenomenal.
I vividly remember now him actually chasing me around the surgery on subsequent visits as I begged him not to re-apply another gauze.
I never took up skateboarding.
EDIT: I have also had stones. I'm not sure which was worse.
Kit - can they not just give you some finasteride or spirolactone to calm it down for a bit???
I had to go look those up...interesting!
No, when I complained about the pain/lack of sleep he said that this was to be expected (he didn't tell me beforehand even though I guessed it would be a problem!) and I wasn't to try and suppress them. Presumably so that the skin gets periodically stretched? I'm seeing him tomorrow for a follow-up; six weeks after surgery and I'm still in a fair bit of discomfort so will see what he says!
You're doing it wrong.
As a kid! I was being pulled around the house of a family friend by her son, by the feet. At some point my teeshirt rolled up and the burn began, he thought the screams were of excitement. They were not.
I also had a skateboarding one, well several in my attempts over the years to master this dark art.
The ones that really stick in the memory are scooting on one as a sprog and hitting a stone under a wheel - half my bum fell off the board and half didn't. I pretty much gave myself an oversize rectum.
The other one was trying to drop in on a quarterpipe. On the way down one foot fell off of the board and the other didn't. I resisted the impending sideways splits....and brought the foot with the board back towards the other. Whereupon the nose of the deck slammed into my ankle and ruptured a nice fat vein under the skin.
Last one - foot related - stepped on a weaverfish, and then twisted my other ankle seconds later trying to surf back to the shore. The treatment for the weaverfish is to boil your foot to degrade the poison and during this time my other ankle started to swell up... The combination was, uhh, memorable, but a photo survives. Walking up the long beach to the LGHut was excruciating, especially as the stones were all shifting under me!
[IMG] 
[/IMG]
I'm the one next to the girl* with the yellow skirt and with the look of, [i]displeasure[/i] writ large on my mug.
In fact the weaver was so exciting that I forgot about the ankle, and rode over the Connor Pass in Ireland a day or two later on a vintage tandem. At the end of that I decided to look and see why the ankle hurt so much, and discovered it was like I'd had half a tennis ball grafted under the skin. There was less surfing after that.
It's all small beer by the standards of some here, though!
*Hello Kate, sorry I pinched your pic 🙂
One of my earliest memories (or not) is running into the kitchen aged about 5 or so, to see what sweets my mom had brought back from town, only problem was I bumped into her carrying a freshly boiled kettle which got spilled all over my back.
Tbh, I don't really remember that much about it, except for the weeks of gauze, bandages and creams that followed after, its either that or rocking back and forth on a customers bathroom floor due to an abscess and infected tooth!
Standing on a stone fish for me.
Jeez there's some incredible stuff on here.
i close mate was hit by a falling rock in a quarry he worked in, it broke his leg about two inch above ankle, as he put his weight on it, it went sideway 90 degrees.
but that was the start of his problems.
his boss straightened it for him.
at which point he started complaining his foot felt wet, (ruptured artery)
the next problem was the ambulance crew trying to pull off his rigger boot, which was taking his unattached foot with it, only the skin holding it together.
the mans a legend for not passing out.
You know the way cats knead things before they settle down? Including your jumper etc. Think pyjamas, thin, and the dangling magnificence 😯
When I was a youngster I was helping my dad lift turnips by hand using a large knife-like tool called a tapner to clean the soil and roots off. A miss timed swipe led to my thumb nail scraping down the side of the turnip and a sliver of turnip skin being forced halfway up under the nail. Luckily? there was enough turnip skin poking out for my dad to pull it out but I fainted with the pain.....
