Kidney stones.
I've had broken bones, broken teeth, been run over and been spat off a motorcycle at well over 130mph which smashed up my knees big time, broke my fingers and near broke my jaw and eye socket.
None of them, in fact all of them combined together, they don't even come close to the pain that is kidney stones.
Damn kidney stones!
The toenail ones have reminded me of one that ranks below my biopsy above but not by much. Possible largely dimmed by the passing of time.
When I was about 8 I was having an argument with my brother about what cartoon to watch and stormed out of the room. When I went to go back in I realised that he planned to do something to me so I got kitted up in my dad's canoeing helmet, some old ice hockey gloves we had in a cupboard and the plastic knight's breastplate I had in my room. Unfortunately I hadn't been made aware of the protective effects of steel toe caps or I might have put something on which stopped him slamming the door clean over my foot, taking my big toenail with it.
This was quite sore.
But not nearly as sore as when I was in A&E having it cleaned up and they decided it was still attached enough to push back into place. They gave me a local anaesthetic which unfortunately they got the dose wrong on and it did nothing. My mum pinned me down thinking I was just being a pansy but after a while with me trying to to do a sick from the pain they worked out something was wrong and had another stab at the anaesthetic.
The most painful thing in the world…………
…..Is forgetting to wear nitrile gloves when chopping a large amount of birds eye chillies then foolishly washing hands (as if that will make a difference) before self catheterising using a urinary catheter (necessity due to spinal damage) - It felt like someone had inserted a massive treble hook deep into my bladder wall then tried to pull it out through my urethra.
I was genuinely doubled up on the floor and my bladder/stomach muscles were convulsing to such an extent that i was uncontrollably throwing up bile whilst howling like a banshee - the pain lasted for hours.
I've never made that mistake again. 😀
OMG, I think I'm going to have to have a lie down.
Well epididimitis is a bit nasty, but I understand heart attacks smart a bit.
Right, so how does one avoid kidney stones then?
A mate once snapped his banjo string whilst on the job - apparently the pain was pretty special
I was at uni with someone that happened to... Surely not the same bloke is it?
My friend went to the doctor and claimed that had happened.
The Dr fixed him with a stern look and said:
"Mr xxxxxxx, you were masturbating, weren't you? It's impossible to break it through sexual intercourse."
He was.
You're all being lied-to 😉
Stubbing your infected ingrown toenail on a kerb in town before having to walk around the corner to throw up.
Had ingrowing toenails for years, sleeping on my front with feet out of the bed to try and take some weight off the toe. Refused to have them removed after having one ripped off as a teen at the hospital, was told it would never grow back but of course it did.
Never done anything serious but probably the worst was cutting my hair with some clippers, had the mirror on the window sill before it slipped off landing on my toes like a guillotine. Broke my big toe with the infected ingrowing toenail and split the two toes next to it open.
Mrs was laughing until I pulled my sock off bringing two toenails off with it, luckily one was the ingrowing one 😀
I had a root canal treatment once and the block didn't work. The dentist had to inject local into the exposed nerve of my tooth. That was a very special kind of pain, beating the carving knife through the joint of my thumb and a broken arm by quite a long way.
When he'd finished and the tooth finally started numbing, the dentist patted me on the shoulder and told me I'd done well.
I once got my banjo string caught in a young girls braces (and not the type you wear over your shoulders).
That smarted a bit.
somafunk has got my wince-ometer off the scale.
My nose still hurts though.
Cookeaa - I don't think he'd thank me for naming him in this regard
Fine Art, Manchester??
I skelfed my knee once.
Stoner, go get your bits waxed, then you can complain
Mrs Sandwich swears armpit waxing is more painful than working parts waxing.
"Mr xxxxxxx, you were masturbating, weren't you? It's impossible to break it through sexual intercourse."
Crikey, you mean it IS possible through masturbating? I've been lucky all these years haven't I?
Cardboard paper-cut
Fine Art, Manchester??
Nah, different fella. But I had no idea that particular injury was so common.
@gofasterstripes, to be honest I never asked to inspect said injury or discuss the details of the event with the only claimed witness, suffice to say he was the type of bloke who would probably have been fine owning up to it being self inflicted...
In terms of pain personally experienced, I reckon my mum's habbit of randomly putting tomato in sandwiches and then putting them in a brevel ranks quite high, it's not just the physical pain, it's the sense of betrayal as you realise the woman who brought you into the world has deliberately fed you homemade napalm...
Coming up short on a jump smashing my meat and two veg on my stem with enough force to bended my Prince Albert the swelling meant that I had too remove bent Prince Albert with circlip pliers lest the swelling did serious damage 😐
There was a lad in hospital at the same time as me had compartment syndrome (I think). Judging by the squeals he made, it seemed to smart a bit.
I was pleased about his misery at the time though, because he nicked my nice little side room off me when he was blue lighted in after having some kind of seizure.
Not read it all....
Sean Keaveney.
A small flick to the knackersack (no need for a big kick/punch)
Herniated disc 'herniating' for the first time was special.
Suspected heart attack was interesting - but didn't last that long.
Snapping my achilles tendon wasn't nice.
Riding home 6 miles after doing it was ok until my heel slipped off the pedal (spd) or I had to dab.
Worse was my good wife yanking my shoes off when the A&E doc wanted to have a look.
But the most pain was when I suffered from miss diagnosed gall stones for nearly 2 years. Every few weeks I got it, and sometimes two nights in a row. Doc thought it was trapped wind !
However in a strange way the pain was almost worth it for the relief of it going away. Falling into a sleep after 4 to 5 hours of increasing pain levels is rather surreal.
Had gall bladder removed in December so no more - which is nice.
As a ten year year old lad climbing over the back fence to collect the ball my sister booted into next doors garden , I will always remember the look on her face as on the return leg of the climb she kicked the fence as I balanced ontop, the result was landing on the wooden spikes ribcage first ,impailed on the fence ,that smarts I can tell you , 5 broken ribs , punctured lung , coughing blood, still I must have recorded the first incident of Planking in 1985
Just remembered a good-un:
When I was about 13 I spent a few weeks in the South of France at a campsite dossing about while my mother did some Archaeological Illustration. There were a couple of younger kids there who I befriended. One of them was a lad of about 8, and one day he had an unfortunate accident.
One afternoon he climbed one of the medium-sized fig trees that were dotted about the park. Having reached the top, he decided to get down quick and slid down the pole-like trunk.
They'd been trimming the trees.
They'd been trimming the lower branches.
They'd cut them, close to the stem, from below and slightly leaning outwards from the main stem.
Leaving a many stumps around the trunk
This shape:
...../
..../
.../
../
./
The corner of one of them went straight through his thin shorts and opened his nut-sack like pulling the foil back on a tub or margarine.
He was shy, he was in pain, he was confused and he didn't speak the language.
They had to pack him in a taxi and drive him to hospital for emergency repairs.
He didn't look his usual cheerful self that evening.
[I assume it hurt a lot]
Toothache ,surely the worst pain ever .
Bloke at my dad's place once stepped on a plank and had a rusty nail go through into the bottom of his foot. He put his other foot alongside it so he could pull his bad foot off the nail, and stood on another nail with his other foot. I suspect that may have smarted.
I've managed two nails through the same foot. Theres probably worse pains but the nail-through-foot has the added thrill of being entirely unforeseen - you're not braced, you're not frightened, there no warning. Lots of painful situations have an 'oh no - this is going to hurt' moment. The nail through the foot has total suddenness and an inability to register exactly what has just happened or why this plank is trying to follow you around.
Anyway we're describing pain buy volume, perhaps we should do it by flavour - in the manner of the [url= http://scienceblogs.com/retrospectacle/2007/05/16/schmidt-pain-index-which-sting/ ]Scmitt Pain Index[/url]
for example "Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine WC Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue."
Pain? My left knee at the moment. Can't walk more than a few metres at a time, can't ride and, having just built up a new road bike, feeling thoroughly depressed. Doctor talking about a knee replacement - I don't even want to think about it!
For me it was inflammatory arthritis at 30yrs. Night and day flare-ups - like being struck in the joints with a ball hammer. It got so bad I actually lost it once about 4am, crawled on belly into the bathroom, shut the door so as not to wake the house - rolled over and started striking at my ankles/feet with a chrome shower rail (first thing to hand) as this new 'surface pain' distracted from the deeper immovable pain. Days of pain I can appreciate is bad. Months is worse. Years is ridiculous and it certainly awakened my sympathy-synapses to others in similar situations, living with mostly invisible injury, living amongst a largely (innocently) unsympathetic juryy ('Arthritis? Haha how old are you? pull the other one...!'). I got to recognise fellow-sufferer's faces - a haunted, worn expression.
On long term reflection - I think witnessing someone that you love in pain to be far worse still.
