...I propose that it is having a zit inside your nostril. Godamit it smarts!
The great sadness of Jalapeno juice on your (mine actually) pink bits.
Standing on lego in bare feet
I'm sure that a swift hard kick to the nuts would change your mind about a zit being painful.
I once dropped a 45kg barbell on my big toe, that hurt! Nearly passed out from the pain....
5 live breakfast.
Stoner ,you are a big drag artist's blouse .
Zit in your ear > zit in your nose
I'm going for pulling climbing tape off skinned knuckles though.
Kidney Stones.
I'd 2nd kidney stones.
Eclipsed my broken hip on the 1-10 pain scale by going up to 11.
Waiting for call from vets see my dog got through his liver biopsy ok and how bad the possible cancer is 🙁 Give me physical pain anytime over this agony.
Paper cut .
My broken hip wasn't that sore! So I propose that you may be a big gel's blouse.
Now, running up the stairs, catching your foot, dislocating your ankle then stepping on the freshly dislocated foot- that's proper "black out then fall unconscious down the stairs, and when you wake up don't even mind that you fell down a flight of stairs, it doesn't really register on your list of grievances which goes 1) ANKLE 2) AAAAAAARGH ANKLE"
You're all wrong...
Rachel
Stepping on a three pin plug / Lego?
Tried to separate two pint glasses and one shattered in my hand when washing up at the weekend.. tried stopping the bleeding with a styptic pencil, had to give up, hurt too much..
Rachel
Would mrs_oab agree. Three times?
Ooft @ Northwind....
[i]My broken hip wasn't that sore[/i]
most painful bit for me was the Dr in A&E pushing my knee into my chest with his weight on it 'to prove there's not much wrong mechanically' before sending me off for an x-ray to see 'if you've cracked your pelvis'.
Magma hot chicken tonight from the base of unstirred saucepan exploding on to the skin of your wrist
Once smashed the end of my Ulna in many little bits, which fell on the floor because well, there was a massive hole in my arm. You know that feeling when you hit your 'funny bone'? Yeah, that times about a thousand.
I would have dearly liked to have held my arm up to stop it flapping about but, sadly I'd over-rotated my other wrist and it was now in 16 or so bits, oh and I was laying on my back on a big rock, being eaten by flies whilst my mate went for help, for an hour.
Not sure if that's worse that catching my foot on the sodding sofa leg with cold feet or joint first, I ****ing hate that and I seem to do it every other bloody week in winter.
Standing on lego in bare feet
Magma hot chicken tonight from the base of unstirred saucepan exploding on to the skin of your wrist
I see you that and raise you having to eat Chicken Tonight. 😆
Nothing compares to stubbing your little toe
That split second before the doctor doing your vasectomy says "Oops, a bit more local there I think...."
You're all wrong...Rachel
Actually a number of nursing type friends have all commented that childbirth is not as painful as Pancreatitis .... which makes me a winner 🙂
Stoner, go get your bits waxed, then you can complain 😆
Lying in bed dozing with your baby daughter only for her to lean over and get a good handful of the chest chair around your nipple before trying to pull herself up on said hair. Wakes you up that's for certain.
However, I suspect that Rachel/allthegear may win this one hands down if she cares to explain what she's hinting at.
I was a student at the time, so positively haute cuisine - it bored a hole in my arm like alien blood.
was a student at the time, so positively haute cuisine - it bored a hole in my arm like alien blood.
Bloody hell a proper posh student.
matt, sharkbait, Im not sure it's childbirth that ATG is on about here...
She [i]used[/i] to have all the gear.
stoner may have a point! I can describe all the procedures in excruciating detail if you like - might put you off your dinner, mind...
oh and emsz - I remember being told in the place that do the hiar removal thing that she once had a doctor in there who was so tired she slept through a Brazilian!
😉
+1 standing on 3 pin plug.
Ahhh, m'kay. 😕
any links to "de-gloving"? 😉
biting into a Maccy D apple pie when you're drunk and you've somehow forgotten how unbelievably hot they are.
I swear I was pulling bits of dead skin of the roof of my mouth for days after.
[i]She used to have all the gear.[/i]
Yeah, I imagine getting your willy turned into a fanny is probably right up there.... 😆
Supporting West Ham.
Well the dog can have tonight's tea. I've suddenly gone off Cumerbland Sausage.
[i]I imagine getting your willy turned into a fanny[/i]
Ah, the joys of subtlety.
plus:
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I had a biopsy done on a lump in my throat that ranks pretty high on my list of non-silly answers. basically it involved a man forcing his whole hand into my mouth* and pushing down on the bit underneath my tongue as hard as he could whilst pushing a massive bore needle upwards to meet it. It only hurt for a few seconds but during that time I would have given anything to pass out.
*apparently to stop me biting down on just his fingers.
My Mrs recons having a ruptured uterus during the delivery of our second (and last) child was pretty awful.
If you Google it, there is only about a 1/300 chance of both mother and child surviving.
we were the 1 in 300.
Personally I think standing on an upturned 13A plug in socks/bare feet is pretty grim.
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When I was 12, I pulled a pair of y-fronts from the clothes basket that was full of laundry fresh off the line.
Unfortunately, a wasp was already wearing them and my mother just shouted at me to calm down after the first sting went into my testicle. She thought I was just being an arse, so became even more annoyed with me as I screamed as the second and third stings were unleashed.
Finally, just before we hit double digits in the number of stings that my testicles had endured, my mum finally realised something wasn't right and pulled my pants off.
Apparently I just stood, jumping and running on the stop with my hands above my head the whole time this was happening, and the whole incident didn't take more than 10 seconds.
About 10 years later I also disturbed a wasps next on the ground while looking for a golf ball in shorts and t shirt, and before I knew what was happening about 200 of the buggers decided to sting all up my leg, fortunately not getting as far as my balls this time.
I'd take two thousand on my leg before I'd take another in the testicle though 🙁
The big nerve that goes down the knee (peroneal) is unprotected on my knees due to a useless design flaw. I've hit the exposed nerve hard on two occasions recently, both times the pain was so bad I could only scream silently before everything going black and passing out.
Vasovagal response from directly hitting a nerve, the pain is absolutely excruciating, both times I was grateful to black out.
It is at least a lot quicker than childbirth.
I had a biopsy done on a lump in my throat that ranks pretty high on my list of non-silly answers. basically it involved a man forcing his whole hand into my mouth*
Be thankful it wasn't the lump wasn't in your arse. 😯
Emsz,rumour has it that Stoner has a full BSC every month.
YKK zip
Gout every time. The most excruciating pain possible as your joints slowly get ever-so-slightly forced apart then your body goes into overdrive to protect it with full-on inflammation. It's like that mediaeval torture where your limbs are slowly pulled apart. And goes on building in intensity for at least a week - A WEEK - and nothing relieves it. I put up with that once a month in two joints at the same time for 18 months before capitulating and going on the blasted drugs. At least they have stopped me grimacing at people on trains and swearing loudly at the same time like a loon.
A mate once snapped his banjo string whilst on the job - apparently the pain was pretty special
cracking my sternum on the end of my bars was pretty bad - descending garburn to get back the car was also interesting
agree on the gout. but losing a lot of skin from my face in a petrol fire was bad, eyelashes were singed shut, then to top it off my mates mumm thought wiping my face with a damp cloth would help 😯
but the loss of my best mate is still hurting now ten years on.
Stoner has a full BSC every month.
BSC?!??
fercrissake, get the anatomy right! Your crack comes before your sack when you are working in a southerly direction....
not known as Captain "Bumfluff" Flasheart in the third form for nothing were you!
Breaking your own Ankle whilst trying to remove a badly set up Ski Binding after busting your leg in three places?
Cos that did chuffing hurt!
I believe Viz magazine determined that the worst pain in the world was a paper cut to the helmet
But my brother as a child once tried to run through a fire on a building site in his wellies. (a bit of a dare)
He was rolling around screaming when we realised he had stepped on a plank of wood with a big nail, which had gone clean through his foot.
[i] a paper cut to the helmet [/i]
from pushing the envelope?
matt, sharkbait, Im not sure it's childbirth that ATG is on about here...
Ohhhh.......
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He was rolling around screaming when we realised he had stepped on a plank of wood with a big nail, which had gone clean through his foot.
Done that, in flip-flops, can still see the mark where to end of the nail came out the top of my foot.
Considering I was in a small village in the jungles of Belize at the time it was a miracle It didn't go manky.
I think the worst combination of mental and physical distress would be multiple papercuts and a huge, delicious bag of salt and vinegar squares
Bloke at my dad's place once stepped on a plank and had a rusty nail go through into the bottom of his foot. He put his other foot alongside it so he could pull his bad foot off the nail, and stood on another nail with his other foot. I suspect that may have smarted.
I was going to say lungs expanding into shards of rib, but bencooper has won the internet today.
My brother, when he was about 4 or 5, tried to push a wheelbarrow, tripped and hit his face on the edge of the barrow. Bit through his tongue almost to the point of severing it and if the noise was anything to go by, that ranks pretty high on the pain scale.
The most painful thing I've ever experienced was in in-grown toenail. Months of agony whilst it burrowed it way through my big toe and got infected, then two minutes of torture as a doctor tried to inject my toe with local anaesthetic, and then the worst of all, a community nurse ripping off the gauze which welded itself to my toe where my toenail once was. Quite possibly the worst thing I've ever experienced.
In the words of Arthur Daley "I can stand anything apart from minor physical discomfort" Being cold and wet over protracted periods of time is hell.
As a teenager I took myself off pretty quick to the nhs dentist. Turned out the severe pain I was suffering was an infected tooth (abscess). The cheapskate decided to lance it there and then with a large needle, without a local, aaarrrgghh. I screamed and everybody in the waiting room heard. Evil b*$^a:d.
I dislike dentists alot.
Another one - I shot a couple of pea-size lumps of concrete into the middle of my hand as well as opening up my arm to the bone on an off on a concrete track - when the Dr came to remove the concrete, he wouldn't use anaesthetic as I'd apparently had enough already. Yes i did pass out and I'm not proud. The worse thing was he missed the second bit which had to be removed a few months later (once I couldn't pretend that the tomato size lump in my hand wasn't there any more).
emsz - Member
Stoner, go get your bits waxed, then you can complain
Thats nowt - about a 3-4 on the scale.
Now lying face down with a live x-ray while the surgeon puts a straight 4" needle into the space between your vertebrae...
and having to bend it sharply...
not once...
not twice....
not even three times...
but 4.
Then inject the nerve blocks into the already ruined nerves.
Then remove said needle which is now a strange corkscrew shape by rotating it...
Then repeat that for the other side...
For each Lumbar...
Each Thoracic..
and each Cervical...
every 3wks for a year..
Strangely enough - you learn to isolate areas of your body quite quickly living with grade 7-9 pain since the age of 19.
Reading thm's posts past the first couple of sentences.
The chiropodist cutting the side of my ingrown toenail off when the anesthetic wouldn't take because of the infection 😯
I'm feeling a bit queasy reading that :-/
Can't top a lot of the above, but probably most painful for me was having an infected cyst on my back cut open by the GP [b]without[/b] anesthetic. Yowzer!
Most recently I've been having root canal treatment and that can make you wince, but thankfully the intense pain is very short-lived!
Clearly not painful at the time as I was under a general, but I'm recovering from an op where I had all the skin removed from my penis, and some from my scrotum, and replaced with a graft from my thigh. It's been a sore recovery (especially nocturnal, ahem, stirrings) but nothing compared to other stories on here!
Kit - can they not just give you some finasteride or spirolactone to calm it down for a bit???
Rachel
A mate dived several 100m out of an underwater cave to freedom with a broken jaw, ribs, arm, a severed bicep and smashed teeth with exposed nerves. That rated quite high on the pain scale I'm told, although he still had the prescence of mind to tell the irate farmer who's permission he hadn't asked that he'd "tripped over a stile"....
Breaking my arm, for the 3rd time was quite painfull, it ripped the screws out and bent the plate that had been holding it together :-S
But beating that by a country mile was the first break.
The actual breaking a bone bit isn't/wasn't that painfull. The painfull bit came about an hour later when the bits of bone decided do go for a wander arround my arm. Then to top that it took two Dr's pushing and pulling on various parts of my mangled arm to simpoultaneously pop my elbow, wrist, and the two ends of the bone back together. I didn't swear, but the noise I did make could best be described as primeval or beastial, I don't think I could make it again if I tried!
Apparently childbirth is 20x more painfull than breaking your arm. Which if true makes them a bunch of pansies, the actual breaking bit (even the third time, with screws ripping out etc) was only a bit worse than a really big needle.
Also in the top 5:
Shingles in the nerve that runs to my left testicle.
Whatever it was that I did to my back last Wednesday that resulted in me being unable to move my neck or right arm for 48 hours.
The emotional pain of ridng a fat bike and yet again being asked "why are your tyres so big".
For those mentioning getting a full on kick in the swingers, you're clearly amateurs, not au fait with the sadistic art of inflicting crippling, eye-watering pain on your mates.
Wominz - also take note for self-defence purposes.
It's the opposite to hoofing someone in them that's required. Forget brute force. The trick is (as you'll soon discover if you sit or stand with your legs even mildly apart, in the pub with my mates from home, after they've had a few) is to flick someone in them, so you literally just about catch them a slight glancing blow in the nads with the end of your finger.
Try it. But then be advised to get yourself a safe distance in the time that they're writhing around in the floor in absolute agony, having hit the deck like the proverbial sack of ****! 😀
Pulmonary embolisms here.
I am probably quite blessed.
Pretty much the most pain I've ever been in is reading this thread.
I mean - I've been hit by a bus, gone through the rear window of a Zafira and had carpet burn across my entire back as a kid, but this shit, this shit right here, this is really disturbing me.