MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
SO what is wrong with the female of the species, they toddle into the supermarket that i only frequent once a week, they suddenly do emergency stops, they swerve from side to side of the isle, play statues, discuss total piffle to each other blocking the aisles, stare intently at a tin of something even to the point of prent play x-raying the tin to check it does contain something, tonight they seemed to be superglued to the trolley one hand continuously attached to the trolley while they stretch to pick up something then they just stand there transfixed in a semi comatose state,while they gather up all their reserves of energy to walk a few feet before making an enmergency stop.
Then we get to the checkout, they place every thing one by one on the conveyor,everything facing the same way, all waiting in anticipation to be put in a bag, not to worry she has her own bags, all nicely folded,and all at the bottom of the trolley under al the food she has just bought, so everything has to go on the conveyor,before packing comences, all the fruit in one colour coded bag, tins in a nother, ladies stuff in another bag, and this goes on and on, we are loosing the will to live.
Finally she fills all the bags, the checkout operator says 78.29, please, she opens her purse and whips out a load of card, then like a casino croupier passes one to the c-o-o, who saysd sorry madam that one has been declined, she then does the same, and again its declined, us in the queue think about a collective whip round to pay for the shopping.
Suddenly she finds a card that works,and chants out the pin number for everyone to hear, ususally her date of birth from the test tube.
and off she toddles to her car, happy she has annoyed a few men and fellow women.All to be repeated the next week.
Rant off.
coo = check out operator.
Sexist
Not sexist just a real man.
Don't get me started on those brain-dead blokes in tow standing in middle of aisle faffing around with their latest stupid i-toy. 🙄
Or those that phone wifey to ask what sort of cheese they are supposed to be buying, then proceed to crawl on all fours still attached to their silly phone. 🙄
Jeez - is it any wonder I go shopping at 7.00 am.
Needs more spelling mistakes and capitalisation, but good use of super long sentences.
5/10
what you need to do is go to the supermarket at 8-930 am or 8-10 pm when it is all calm and zen. Or just get over it/yourself!
And don't get me started on parents who are so busy yakking on their i-toy that they cba'd to sort out their kids who are getting under my feet, thinking they are in some sort of playground.
Hate it.
Hate it.
Hate it.
PS project - I feel your pain. 🙁
try working there.
I find the best way to deal with this sort of thing is to see how many (ideally expensive) extra items I can put in the trolley or basket of the person that's pi55ed me off, works best if you can see them go through the checkout before they realise what's happened 😈
I have worked in retail. I quickly became very good at multi-tasking - smiling and greeting whilst thinking what a to**er. Mouth says one thing and facial expression says something unprintable. 🙄
Should have got an Oscar for my performance. 😉
Women who when in the checkout send the sprog who has aspergers to look for clotted cream or spaghretti or some damm useless thing.
People who dare to question the computer price, as opposed to the price on the shelf.
Teenagers with their jeans down there arse,
Thankfully none of them tonight.
guy on customer services in Local ASDA dressed up as a zombie for halloween, trashed his asda uniform, zombified it. I thought, what a brilliant idea! unfortunately he didn't do the whole zombie act though. still nice n friendly helpful costomer services guy. Should've gone proper method and tried to munch on customers brains.
Well, to be honest, I rather like shopping in Waitrose but it means slapping on the warpaint plus killer heels and a frock. 8)
The young male assistants are rather cute too. 😉
Lol at Kevevs
What gets me is people who can't get their cards ready to pay.
Should've gone proper method and tried to munch on customers brains.
Or just shambled about the aisles in a daze....no, hang on, they probably do thay on a normal day...
Tend to do my shopping on the way home from work at 2-3am. Aside from the night re-stocking mutants having their singalongs, and having to figure out the self service riddle, it's all dandy. Astounds me how many parents you see dragging their kids around at that time of night though.
Used the self-checkout (AKA the redundinator) for the 1st time the other day
Customer convenience, my arse; what a waste of time that is !
Takes about 3x as long as "normal" (or non-existent as it's now known)
Still have to queue 'til the loading bit is clear from previous customer, so no time-saving there
Then have to scan yer own stuff - while watching it pass down the conveyor and get strewn into random mess at the other end. Had quite a lot of stuff and 4 or 5 times I had to go down the other end to do some sorting so it'd all fit on the collection area rather than backing up & stopping the whole system.
Once done and paid, I then had to bag all the shit up - stopping anyone from using the machine behind me 'cos I'd filled the whole belt.
The further supermarkets go down that route, the more they'll drive me back to proper shops (yeh, that IS a good thing, I know)
oh and the self service, the damm things dont work usually have to get the girlie to zap the thing with her magic ring.
One day im going to ram a french stick up its cash slot.
haha, I love a good supermarket thread! people are people, get over it! one day you, yes, YOU could be working in a supermarket! Do some of you lot not live in the real world?? I do wonder!
customer: hi, where is the chocolate spread?
stwer in ASDA uniform: CHOCOLATE SPREAD?! you heathen, chocolate is chocolate, it comes in blocs, it must be 80%+ cocoa i'll have you know. you spread butter from english cows you dim fool!
manager: ahem, stwer, can I have a word....
My local branch of Sainsbury's - Wednesday nights equals "Singles night"
Lots of hotness. Scary, though.
It's the ones who leave their trolley in the middle of the aisle whilst they forage that annoy me.
I've taken to taking their trolley & moving it several aisles away, then going back to watch their puzzled expressions! 😆
muddydwarf - Member
It's the ones who leave their trolley in the middle of the aisle whilst they forage that annoy me.
I've taken to taking their trolley & moving it several aisles away, then going back to watch their puzzled expressions!Posted 1 minute ago # Report-Post
Sometimes i leave my troolley at the top of the isle, and its seesm to move to another isle as if by magic, i now know the truth. 😳
scaredypants, it's ok, just a stumbling block, the corporations are teaching you slowly, you'll get there. Self-scans are a slow initiation to technology that already exists imo. You won't go to "proper shops" for groceries, booze, etc, cos they won't/don't exist anymore, unless you are loaded and have plenty of spare time. I've told my manager in ASDA to recruit some hot chicks, That was MONTHS ago !
Kev - as long as the hot chicks are working on the checkouts, that'd be ace!!
Seriously, I'll dump my trolley at the customer services desk & walk out if that thing's my only option next time 👿
how to improve supermarket experience:
1) take stuff out of abandoned trolley
2)put other stuff in abandoned trolley
3) put stuff on conveyor belt in line down middle of conveyor ignore tutting from queueue behind
4)shop online, have it delivered
That was a crap rant. Nowhere near as good as my 'Parking ticket' one. I got 9/10 at one point. 😛
i hate everyone, i hate shopping, i hate supermarkets.
****s. etc
I love self service tills.
I've told my manager in ASDA to recruit some hot chicks
Sexist and degrading to women. 🙁
It would make the place nicer though.
Plus of course some stud muffins too for CG.
Self service tills are a bleedin' nightmare. Especially if you are buying 'sensitive' items, such as nicotine patches, several bottles of beer / wine, anything reduced, a tiny paring knife, or indeed pretty much anything apart from bread.
By the time I get through with all my contraband, the poor b@st@rd on minimum wage, paid to oversee the filthy machines is usually sick of the sight of me and my shopping.
"Place the item in the bagging area". "Remove the last item from the bagging area". "Unexpected item in bagging area". "Please wait for an operative". "Please remove the note and re-insert". "Please wait for an operative". Ad nauseum.
Those aren't your standard moronic iPhone brandishing shoppers, those are self important, aspirational, M&S shoppers.
Or you could just go to Waitrose where the partnership scheme means staff actually give a fk.
what you need to do is go to the supermarket at 8-930 am
Are you serious? Sometimes I pop in on my way to work to buy something for lunch, and inevitably get held up waiting for a checkout behind the dawdling grannies who have all day to shop, but feel that morning commute time is a good time to do their weekly shop.
Self service tills are a bleedin' nightmare
Only if you're incompetent. I find they're a nice quick way to buy a few things - as long as you remember to put the stuff on the scales as soon as you've swiped it's nice and easy. Why use a self-checkout if you know you've got stuff that's a problem? Of course that applies for all supermarkets but Morrisons who don't want the checkout experience to be any better than the rest of your visit, hence the self-service is a complete pain.
Believe me - I've tried buying toothpaste to chicken fillets and had abuse from the c-o-o (see how quickly I picked that up?) for going to a normal checkout with less than 10 items.
Half the time, whatever it is you've swiped doesn't register - you stick it in your bag and get the whole, "Unexpected item" routine.
You weren't there man.
Saturday OAP's...
You've got all bl00dy week to go & buy your fray bentos pies for gods sake. Why are they there on Saturday when I have to go & get my groceries?
Surely no one actually uses the self service checkouts? I mean, they are clearly just a means of reducing the supermarkets costs so they can make more money and make things harder for the consumer? We don't have to let them get away with it!
I use self check out for most smaller trips. Quicker and saves on social interaction. Only when doing a "big shop" would i go to a manned checkout.
I'd be very very happy though, if I never went in a supermarket again 😆
I shop at the local shops rather than supermarkets, added it up once and it costs me about £5 a week more, £260 a year to avoid supermarkets that's a bargain.
worst rant ever
(Self service tills are a bleedin' nightmare)(aracer):Only if you're incompetent. I find they're a nice quick way to buy a few things
Morning !
see, IMO it's people who go to supermarkets "for a few things" are ****in idiots, so we're all superior to each other aren't we 😉
*puts on haughty voice* I am exceedingly betterer and more important than yow! outta my way grandad, I gotta be somewhere!
I tell you what, working on a busy supermarket checkout, you learn a lot about human nature. Everyone should do it, at least for a bit. It'd be a good way of rehabillitating prisoners into society, or bringing down pompous deluded ****s a peg or 2. Cashback?
haven't you got some shelves to fill, laddie ?!
day off innit, got a bike to ride! whoo!.....
Where you going Kev?
Cheeze, some really uptight snobby types on here eh? Probbly people who find any form of direct interaction with other people a struggle, because they're too insecure and lack sufficient social skills to feel comfortable and confident in everyday situations. Probbly spend more time ranting on internet forums than they do interacting with others in the physical world. Probbly moan at their fellow cybernauts all the time anyway.
Oh....
Kevevs - Member
*puts on haughty voice* I am exceedingly betterer and more important than yow! outta my way grandad, I gotta be somewhere!
I tell you what, working on a busy supermarket checkout, you learn a lot about human nature. Everyone should do it, at least for a bit. It'd be a good way of rehabillitating prisoners into society, or bringing down pompous deluded **** a peg or 2. Cashback?Posted 10 minutes ago #
I totally agree, have had nothing but a good laugh at the antics of some customers, the poor straff who have to take and deal with the abuse is not nice, its the customers who cause all the problems.
Oh and mr asdamorrisontescosainsbury, why not remove the back off the conveyor belt tray so as things are scanned they just go down another conveyor belt straight into a plastic carry box, oh so easy, no packing involved or fighting to get the bags open.
Do what I do. Stick on an MP3 player like the yoooofs do. Walk round in world of BFMV or other noisy rock tunes. Smile in an inane way to other shoppers and shop workers. Works especially well at chrimbo, I dont dare to take the earphones out and just say 'Happy Christmas' in reply to every dumbass question . You very quickly learn to lipread 'Can you please enter your pin'
Play the conveyor belt game. Leave a huge gap in front of your shopping when loading, Or load up shopping and leave the Next shopper divider waaay down the conveyor belt . Battle of wils for the next shopper to dare to move it forward 3 feet. For a simple twist on the aforementioned game try either lining up all of items one behind the other , or try the stacking game. Place as many items on top of one another till you have amassive tower of wobbly enourmousness that threatens to crash and burn with the stop start motion of the belt.
Singletrackmind, shopping may never be the same in Morrisons for me now.Luv it.
dont go to the supermarket?
veg box delivered
meat bought in bulk from the butcher and in the freezer
milk man does the milk
beer is in the pub
make yer own bread and soup
all other bits you can get em to deliver if you buy online
supermarkets are the real life depiction of hell
I treat supermarket shopping as a time trial
you need to know where everything you need is, where the quiet aisles are (pet food, nappies) and where the quietest tills are
always use self service as it's much quicker for a bag or two of shopping
.
we never do a big shop so I'm in Sainsburys 4 or 5 times a week 🙄
One just went to Waitrose. Other shoppers were cordial, the staff exemplary. Currently doing an offer on British Ale, and had the nonpareilles capers I needed. I must say I was most pleased with the whole experience. Even helped a lady unpack her trolley at the checkout to help the queue move more quickly. I used my green token to vote for a donation for a local mental health charity. I really don't see the supermarket problem.
Southern Yeti, you can afford to shop at Waitrose. 😯
It really isn't that much more expensive, most stuff is on price match with Sainsbury's or Tesco, and by the sounds of people's experiences elsewhere any additional cost is worth it.
I like waitrose, it's small and not too busy,
it's like Lidle without tatoo's
lol yeti!
let's face it, supermarket shopping isn't the whole lovely shoppy experience we'd like it to be or told it is.
Where d'you go then Kev, yer bastard?
Oh and finnaly why in any supermarket there are empty checkouts long queues, and theres always about 5 men and women in suits with nice little name badges doing sod all, and as soon as somebody complains about the queues there is a tannoy anouncement all c-o-o ,s to the tills please they suddenly depart to the nearest staff only door never to be seen again.
MAGIC!!
nearest waitrose is 27 miles plus from me, and 2 motorways.
elfin- 3 laps of great orme, then to pub to watch rugby.
In Waitrose said 'Supervisors' rally the shelf stackers to the tills at the merest hint of a queue...
Luffly...
One can only echo The Southern Yeti's comments re Waitrose. One visited today for a shopping experience and one was on one's best behaviour. 8)
Sauntered over to the Wines & Spirits section only to discover, that still, yes still, they do not have on their shelves "Pure Gold" beer for mountain bikers. 🙁
Nevertheless, one was cheered by a delightful young chap summoning me to his freshly opened checkout. 8)
I like standing next to really posh-looking women in Waitrose, farting loudly, and then jumping back in fake horror, exclaiming 'ooh you dirty cow!'. With everyone looking at them in disgust and contempt.
Brightens up my day. 🙂
C_G I hope you consoled yourself, as I have, with a splendid bottle of St Peter's Organic Best Bitter.
Elfin - such behaviour is not welcome in Waitrose. I'll advise a nationwide ban on your good self. No hard feelings, but r'ally....
Also, right, if no-one's about, do a quick poo in the dairy products aisle. If it's a bit busy, I poo in a plastic bag beforehand, then do a 'reverse poop scoop' thing. Always a bonus if someone skids on it, leaving a proper big poo-smear all over the floor.
Lol at Elf 😆
TSY - is that beer any good then? And why do you need consoling?
Elfin ya barstid I almost pished myself reading that!
I'll quickly make sure you're not barred.
My local waitrose
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FCOL Elf - step away from the keyboard and head for the naughty step. Your behaviour is shocking, you disappoint me. 🙁
😀
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C_G it went down very nicely. Have moved onto some Fullers Honey Dew, which is a tad sweet for my liking.
Consoling was a reference to the lack of Pure Gold. Everything is actually very good at the moment with me, although your daughter still hasn't turned up... did you put her on the train? 😀
Elfin did you get extra clubcard points, and was it a case of "do one, get thrown out free"
Cor blimey, it's hard work trying to keep up tonight.
Just causing trouble in the Boutique Bikes thread. 👿
TSY - steady on there ... the night is young ... savour the beer, definitely no guzzling. 😉
Oh, I assumed you had lost interest in my daughter. ❓
No no no, C_G!
And, at 2 bottles for £3, I'm well stocked for this evening! 🙂
Can I marry your daughter please CG?
IMO it's people who go to supermarkets "for a few things" are ****in idiots
Interesting - so when I'm on my way to an event on a weekend morning, need to get myself some lunch and some snacks, it's only a minor diversion to go to the supermarket on the way to the motorway but awkward to get to any other shops, the only place I know of which sells the snacks I want is the supermarket - where do you suggest I go to get "a few things"?
Unfortunately our "local" Waitrose isn't that convenient to get to (I pass 3 other supermarkets on the way there) - still shop there fairly often, and our next door neighbours do most of their shopping there!
I want to kiss you aracer.
What if you did the 'dirty protest' right, but you had worms?
😀
[b]'Biohazard in Dairy; Biohazard in Dairy! Kevevs to Dairy please! Code Red!'[/b]
I'm totally confused with all you people.. I just ride a bike. there are snacks?